You Are My Life Now
by Ishey-EJ
Summary: 1885- After some tragic accidents Bella is forced to marry a man she does not even know! She hates it but what happens when she sees that it is the attractive Edward Cullen that waits at the end of the aisle. Edward who himself is against this marriage!
1. Introduction

Disclaimer: All characters belong to the lovely Stephanie Meyer… I own nothing!

This is my first fanfic and I finally got the nerve to put it up… So please be nice but constructive criticism is always welcome!

BTW I don't know a lot about the 1800s so bear with me. Hope you like it!

_Chapter 1 - Introduction_

_1885 Greenwich England_

I detest my life absolutely despise it! I never could've thought that _this_ would be the outcome of my father's death. I was numb until nothing made sense. As I saw my mother's tear streaked face in the full length mirror I was standing I front of, she said the words that I was most dreading.

"It is now time for the wedding ceremony, Isabella." She came forward when she saw my expression, "Oh, my poor child!"

This was it. I was about to give up everything, my hopes, dreams, expectations. Even after all that had happened I still wished that some happiness would come my way but not anymore.

"Listen to me, Isabella!" my mother commanded fiercely, when I did not respond, "You _deserve_ happiness my dear! And you _will_ be happy!"

She tried to hug me but I just stared at her with glassy, ghost-like eyes and questioned, "How can I be happy with a man that I do not even know, Mama?"

"Oh my dear, your father only wished what is best for you. It was ill of him to take such a step with our ignorance but, as it may be, this is your only chance to having a respectable living…" my mother tugged at my bodice one last time and covered my face with the veil, "You have to do this!"

ISHEY-EJ


	2. First Sight

**Disclaimer: I don't own Twilight… Sadly**

**Here it is!**

Chapter 2- First Sight

The beginning of Wagner's traditional march floated through the church. I stood behind the flower decorated double doors thinking of my father and what he had last said to me. It really tore at my heart that he could not be here right now to walk me down the aisle.

I do not know what, or more accurately _who_, waits at the end of the aisle. Yet I stand there about to be married to him. How is he? _Who _is he? What am I do to now?

Before the doors opened and my only bridesmaid and friend, Angela, started to walk I said a silent prayer with shaking knees and blurring eyes. Angela quickly turned towards me; her light blue gown shining in the bright florescence of the sun. She smiled sweetly, "Oh Izzy, I wish you all the happiness in the world!"

My answering smile was weak as I did not believe such a thing possible. Then the doors started to open and I stopped breathing… It was all so overwhelming, the white blossoms that hung in garlands, the long lines of white gossamer ribbons, the fragrance of a million flowers and everyone that stood before me. I could not see him, to tell you the truth I did not want to look. Angela started to walk forward and I followed slowly, keeping my eyes down.

I knew that everyone in the church had their eyes on me; I just didn't have the strength to look up at _him_. But then my mother's words ran through my head _you have to do this!_ And I raised my eyes towards where he stood…

At first, I could see only the polished dark brown shoes, a beige coat and a crisped white shirt. But I wanted to see his face._ No_, I wanted to see his expression. _What was he thinking? _But the short aisle was coming to an end so I looked straight ahead and braced myself… Two more steps… Angela went and stood off to the left and I started to take the last two steps.

Just then a hand came forward and held open for me to receive it; I realized it was _him!_ Hesitantly, I reached for his hand, looking at his long, pale fingers. As I touched him an intense current pass through us; I stopped breathing. Then taking the last step and still not looking up I stood beside him…

After two seconds of waiting for my heart to restart I looked up at the old minister, who was Angela's father. He smiled sympathetically at me. Then, slowly, I turned in _his_ direction. He was very tall so my eyes were met with his broad chest which seemed masculine and muscular even with his frock on… _Wait, what am I thinking? _Shocked at myself I took a deep breath and finally glanced at him. A sharp, angular jaw line; full lips and the most mesmerizing pair of green eyes swathed my senses. His hair was shockingly stunning because it was _messy_. The color of his hair made it even better. _Reddish brown maybe,_ I thought, _more of a bronze… _Both ways it was a face of an angle and I was utterly speechless. Then my gaze locked with his and I cringed, feeling the blood drain from my face. His expression was bitter and his eyes were glaring; he looked infuriated.

The minister started to talk and his anger became more evident. _He has every reason to be angry, _I thought, _should I not be feeling the same way? _But all I felt was sadness and self pity wash over me. His glare was not brought to a close, in fact, it got worse! When it was time to say the vows I barely managed a whisper; it felt like I would break any second. I felt my heartbeat pick up when he spoke. His voice was hard but smooth and musical in its own way. Then it was time for the binding words…

"Do you, Isabella Marie Swan, take Edward Anthony Cullen to be your lawfully wedded husband?" the minister's words rang loud and clear through the church. _Please Lord,_ I prayed, _please, let there be some good come out of this! _

"I do," I said in a louder voice. I felt a tear slip down my cheek.

"And do you, Edward Anthony Cullen, take Isabella Marie Swan to be your lawfully wedded wife?" the minister spoke again… Then there was profound silence and the time ticked by. I heard someone clear their throat behind _him_ and I caught _Carlisle_ Cullen glaring at his son. Carlisle Cullen was one of the reasons why I was here… I started to hear uncomfortable titters from the audience and my heartbeat increased. This cannot happen! He cannot refuse me in this way even if we both do not want to be here. I looked up at him again and saw him staring at me with a peculiar expression, completely frozen. I pleaded with my eyes for him to not dishonor my family like this… He sighed loudly and his sweet scented breath enveloped me.

"I do," his voice held no expression or feeling. With that, I felt a numbness creep over me. There was an audible sigh of relief from our guests. The minister spoke again, "I now pronounce you man and wife. You may kiss your bride."

I instantly froze and darted my eyes towards the wooden floors. Blood drained from my face again just thinking about his reaction, his anger and disgust. I did not see but rather felt him take a step slowly towards me. I was terrified. Then slowly one of his hands came up to my chin while the other lifted the veil over my head. Then he pulled my face up. I glanced at him nervously and he gazed back evenly. His eyes darted towards my lips and he inched forward. A second before his lips met mine anger flitted across his features. Suddenly, his hand yanked on my chin, ripping my bottom lip from between my teeth; I was not aware that I was chewing on it. Tears pricked my eyes as I tasted the blood there. He came forward again and I was met with his soft lips that were not at all forceful as I expected. However, I stayed unresponsive from both hurt and shock... But then something changed and his lips started to relax. His hand leisurely slid down my neck, making me shiver and part my lips. Then, instantly, his tongue shot forward and licked the blood off my bottom lip… It felt like a frustrated apology. Not knowing what to do, I froze and it was over. He pulled back and without looking at me he turned our bodies to face the spectators. Everyone burst into applause and I felt every emotion crashed down on me…

**ISHEY-EJ**


	3. The Cullens

**Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight**

**Here it is! **

Chapter 3- The Cullens

It was twilight when all the guests gave their final congratulations and quickly removed themselves from the church and into their carriages. It was, for the lack of a better word, _awkward_ standing beside _him_ and pretending that everything was glowing! Answering certain questions like, "_When do you plan to go on a honeymoon" _and "_Where were you planning to go on the honeymoon" _was even more complicated than I could have imagined since no one else knew the truth. All I could do was blush and turn three shades of red while _he_ sounded like there was something stuck in his throat. We never spoke directly to one another. I think we had a silent understanding that we would take turns answering the questions.

When all the guests piled out, I tried to take a calming breath but felt _his_ hand was _still_ on the small of my back. We stood in front of the church, not speaking or even looking at each other, while I searched for my mother. _Where was she? _I could've sworn that she would have been the first to attack me with hugs and kisses. Then I saw her; she was standing in the corner, on the right of us, crying silently.

"Oh, Mama!" I ran to her, as my own tears slipped down my cheeks, not caring what anyone thought. However, I was aware of those striking green eyes that were on me because of my abrupt departure from his side.

"Now, now darling…" she soothed me, slightly rubbing my back. Too soon she pulling me back at arm's length. I felt someone walking up behind me and suddenly my mother looked over my shoulder and smiled. I turned my head just as he said, "Mrs. Swan" in a very courteous voice.

"My dear Edward," my mother said sweetly, but I could tell she was a bit intimidated by the way her eyes widened a little, "Please tell me that you intend to care for my only precious daughter?"

I was surprised at her blunt request but more anxious for his response. What would he say? Would he take care of me? Am I just an inconvenience? _Probably. _I looked up to see him staring at me with an expressionless face yet again.

"Indeed, he will!" a voice called, "Will you not, Edward?"

It was Lord Cullen and his wife coming up behind us from where they were saying goodbye to the final guests. I met them last week when they came to see me officially. They reached us and Lady Cullen walked right to my side. She was extremely beautiful. Then, holding my hand and smiling, she said, "Isabella, you are truly beautiful tonight! Is she not, Edward?"

At that I was sure our parents were up to something… They were probably trying to gauge our true reactions to what had happened by provoking us. I looked up again and saw him nod stiffly. Lady Cullen smiled though, and I could see concern in her eyes.

"Lady Cullen," I said softly, "How are you?"

"I am more than well now, my dear, having you as a part of our family…" she said lovingly, "But please, do call me Esme. There are no formalities in the Cullen family!"

I was pleasantly surprised; I was always one to refuse such rules and regulations. "You may call me whatever you prefer," Lord Cullen finally spoke, "Whether it is Carlisle or Father. I will be content with either."

I felt my eyes widen at what Lord Cullen had said. He so sweet and patient with me the both times I saw him… Then I heard my mother sniff dramatically, "Now I shall die peacefully knowing that my daughter has wed into such a wonderful family!"

My mother's voice was ecstatic as she started to converse with Carlisle and Esme. I stood there silently beside _him_, feeling more uncomfortable as the minutes ticked by. He was just as silent, looking anywhere but in my direction. From the corner of my eye, I saw that his hand was clenched in a tight fist. Before I had any time to contemplate that action I heard a loud, high pitch laugh.

"Edward!" It was a female voice, "If you could be so kind I would love to be introduced to your new wife!"

I turned around wholly, cringing at the word _wife. _It was a girl who I noticed earlier talking animatedly to the guests. I did not know who she was but now it was obvious. As she walked gracefully in our direction I instantly knew that she was one of the Cullens. She was petite and beautiful. Her features were small and could be described as waif-like. Her hair seemed familiar and foreign at the same time; it was the same color as _his_ hair. Her gown was rich, elegant and bold! It was deep, emerald green with black netting on the bottom and some detail around the neckline. It was gorgeous… _She looks better than me on _my_ wedding day_, I thought sarcastically, looking at the plain, white gown I wore. Not that I intended to look stunning on this horrid date, it is just upsetting to know that the people I will now be living with are beautiful divinities… The adults' conversation halted as the tiny, radiant lady walked right up to me and hugged me tightly.

"Alice, what are you-," _he_ finally spoke sounding annoyed. The woman named Alice let go of me but stayed right by my side. She seemed unfazed by his tone.

"Oh pish posh! I am introducing myself to _my_ new sister-in-law!" Alice smiled brightly at me, while I just stood there utterly confused, "No need to show such possessiveness over your love, Edward!"

I squirmed yet again at her words but more at _his _expression. Just like the first time I saw him, he looked infuriated! But Alice stayed in her place, beside me and across from _him_; her eyes held somewhat of a challenge like she wanted him to respond… Thankfully, before things got any worse, Carlisle interrupted, "You children should get settled into the carriages. We are to be in London by noon morrow…"

Carlisle looked meaning fully at his son who did not move a muscle, then sighed, "Alice would you please help Isabella into her carriage? Edward, I would like a word with you..."

_His_ glare turned toward Carlisle who without saying another word turned his back on his son and strode to the other side of the church… Esme who noticed the tense atmosphere and turned to my mother, "Would you like me to escort you to your own carriage, Mrs. Swan?" she asked, as if to change the subject.

My mother smiled, "That would be lovely… But, first I would like to say goodbye to Isabella…"

Esme smiled at me and nodded at my mother.

My throat tightened as my mother stepped in front of me with tears in her eyes. I hugged her again with all my might, "I will miss you, Mama! Take care of yourself…"

"Oh, silly girl, I will be fine!," she said pulling me back and caressing my cheek, "You worry about yourself, my dear… Remember Isabella faith is not working against you and you are not paying for your father's mistakes… Go on and live your life, be the strong women I know you are and you will find happiness!"

I was sniveling by now, "Oh, how I will miss you terribly! Promise me that you will write!"

"Of course, my dear, I will… Now go on, Miss. Cullen is waiting for you…" my mother patted my cheek again before heading toward her own carriage with Esme. _Alice_ smiled brightly at me and held out her hand. I smiled humbly and took it. That only heightened her mood unbelievably as she led me through the church doors to the big open field where carriages awaited… They were not at all like I was expecting them to be; they were incredible. Carriages like these I have only seen with the royal and the wealthy. They were big, luxurious and had beautiful white horses at front… Alice led me to the third carriage at the end which was even more lavish on the inside. It had leather seats and dark velvet curtains…

"Ms. Cullen this is quite a carriage," I said shyly trying to make conversation with the small, grinning stranger.

She laughed and the sound of it reminded of bells, "You can address me as Alice, shall I call you Isabella?"I smiled timidly not knowing what to do and sat back comfortably in the seat.

"Did you like the decorations in the church?" Alice questioned, "I did them myself, or more so planned..."

I was amazed, "Oh they were wonderful, Alice. Did you truly plan it all?"

She grinned, "That is all anybody would let me do! I would have preferred to meet you earlier so we could have done some special work on your wedding gown…" She looked down at my dress critically. I had to admit it was a bit too simple even for my taste…

I cut her off speaking quietly, "Alice I think you are forgetting, or maybe unaware that my father's death and this wedding happened within the same month." I knew that with the statement I had just made a million questions would follow… Questions that I would have to answer sooner or later… I turned my head to where Alice sat beside me.

Her expression was somber, "I can see that we have some things to discuss… but I assure you, Isabella that you are a part of our family now and you will be respected as any other."

My eyes started to get blurry. All the Cullens I have met have been so kind to me… Well with the exception of one. I redirected my thoughts, "Tell me again, how we are related now?"

Her smile was back as she relaxed again, "Well, I am Edward's twin sister. That is to say we are sisters-in-law!" Alice clapped her hands and looked elated. But I stared at her in shock.

"You are his _twin?" _she laughed while I tried to explain my brusqueness, "What I meant to say was, that is somewhat hard to believe…"

"Yes, I know it can be quite surprising… With our severe differences in appearance and personality our parents even wonder how we are related!" Alice chortled as she heard me giggle. Something I never thought I would do again. But it was easy to be carefree around Alice even in the little time I had known her.

"Can you believe that I am older?" Alice questioned raising her perfect brow. I shook my head in disbelief. That could not be possible! Surely, _he_ has to be older!

"By mere minutes, of course… But it is true, I am older!" She looked so proud and smug that I giggled once more. That look on a person as tiny as her does not work… Suddenly there was a knock on the carriage door and I stopped smiling immediately. It made no difference to Alice; she lightly bounced over to the next seat in front of us and peeked through the heavy curtain to see who it was…

"Speak of the devil…" She muttered, and I could only guess who it was. Alice gazed at me before opening the door. There was something intense in her look. It was as if she was telling me not to worry. Then the door opened and a rush of warm, August air blew into the carriage. I did not dare look towards the person who stood outside.

"Oh Edward!" Alice chirped, "Are you here to claim your lovely wife?" She kept emphasizing the word _wife_ and I felt paranoid thinking that there was an ulterior motive behind it.

"Yes Alice," his voice sounded controlled, "Now, would you please go back to your own carriage? We are to leave…"

If Alice was not riding with me then that meant… I looked up at his request suddenly uncomfortable… Is _he_ going to ride with me? Does he want to? No, that could not be it, not with the look on his face. It was not as livid as before but it was cold and disinterested. I noticed that _he _and Alice were staring at each other as if having a silent conversation… Then suddenly his eyes flickered to mine and I realized that I was staring at him.

"Actually, dear brother," Alice spoke answering his previous question, "I would much rather prefer to stay with Isabella…"

The look on his face now was as comical as it was frightening. His eyes were furious but the pout on his lips threw his expression off. He really did look like Alice's younger brother…in a way. But when his eyes met mine again everything changed and the atmosphere grew dense. He ran his hand through his hair making it look even more unbelievable. Then he sighed heavily staring straight into my eyes. With no emotion at all he asked, "Is that alright with you?"

I was stunned… Did_ he_ just ask me a question right to face? Yes, yes he did. Now, I have to answer… What did he ask…If it is alright if Alice stays? Of course it is alright! Who else would I want to ride with? Him? Why, just so he could glare at me or ridicule me? The numbness I felt before now turned to hatred and coursed through my veins. His simple question made everything I was trying to suppress flash vastly through my mind. _No!_ I wanted to scream, _nothing is alright! And _you_ are making it worse!_

But instead of saying anything I nodded curtly and looked away. He perceived the change in my face and let his own anger seep through, "Fine!" was all he said before grabbing the carriage door harshly and banging it shut. I sat there quietly fuming but it was not long before the guilt slowly started to take its place.

"Rosalie will absolutely _adore_ you!" Alice whispered then snickered. I raised my eyebrows for her to elaborate.

"You will understand what I mean when you meet her… she is our oldest sister-in-law," I was surprised that Alice said _our_ but she just continued as if it was nothing unusual, "And she is not very keen of Edward's behavior _either…_"

I felt embarrassed when she said that, "Forgive me, Alice, I did not mean to sound …"

Alice cut me off quickly, "No Isabella, do not apologize." She looked at me sympathetically, "He is being very rude and for that _I_ am sorry. But give him time… he is truly a charming gentleman. He has just been through a lot..." Alice looked as though she said too much and quickly changed the subject, "Rosalie had told me to personally tell you that she is remorseful that she could not be at your wedding due to her condition."

"Her condition?" I asked truly interested.

Alice grinned, "A Cullen heir is on the way in less than a month!"

"Does that mean that I will soon be an aunt?" I asked warmly.

"Indeed, that is exactly what is meant!" Alice laughed. Then we both felt the carriage pull forward as I sat back comfortably once again.

Alice told me many things about life as a Cullen. But many details I guessed on my own… like the fact that the Cullen family was wealthy and well-known in London. I also realized that unlike other wealthy families they were not ill hearted. Alice also told a lot about herself, her likes and dislike, how she still waited for the man of her dreams and about her obsession with balls and gowns…

"A ball in my honor?" I exclaimed after she explained her intention for the upcoming ball, "Alice that is completely unnecessary!"

"It is completely _not_ unnecessary!" she shot right back, "How else will I be able to show off my newest sister?"

"Alice please…" I tried to beg because there was no way I will be a spectacle of a _Cullen_ ball. I highlight Cullen because now I know that the name holds a very significant meaning.

"No Isabella, the ball must go on! All arrangements have been made and your gown is absolutely perfect!" Alice clasped her hands together as her eyes glazed over in excitement.

"Oh dear, Alice, you bought me a gown!" I was bewildered that she would take the initiative. But what she said next left me in utter disbelief…

"Of course not! I made you one…" She acted like it was no bother at all, "Since 'tis for you it had to be special… and do not worry I am sure it will fit perfectly!"

No one, not even my mother, had done anything like this for me or had made me feel so important. I felt tears in my eyes and without thinking I hugged Alice. "Thank you…" I whispered, "I am so relieved to have met you!" It was true, in all the horrid events that had happened in the past; Alice was the one who made me feel better.

"All will be right now, Isabella, I can feel it!" I pulled back and saw my lovely sister grinning.

"Now, you should rest," Alice said soothingly, "I will wake you when we arrive..."

I nodded and smiled at her. Then I leaned my head against the wood and shut my eyes thinking my life can finally settle down and I can be content… But then _his_ face exploded in my mind and I knew that I was wrong.

The next thing I remember is the bright sun and Alice's high pitch voice saying, "We are here, Isabella!"

**ISHEY-EJ**


	4. Conversations

**Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight… That work of genius belongs to Stephanie Meyer!**

**Hey everyone! First of all I would like to apologize for the late update… I'm trying to update every week but it seemed impossible last week. Thanks for your patience.**

**I would also like to say THANK YOU to the people who reviewed! I mean, seriously, guys you all are the only reason I keep writing… so yeah! Oh and one more thing for the people who received Edward and Carlisle's conversation let me know what you guys thought about it… hit or miss?**

**Here it is! **

Chapter 4 – Conversations

I groggily opened my eyes and Alice's grinning face filled my vision. Remembering exactly where I was and what had happened I sat up alert, trying desperately to look as decent and fresh as the girl who sat next to me.

"You look fine, Izzy!" Alice said.

My eyes shot up in question, "Izzy?" I asked my voice thick with sleep. I felt the carriage moving and became conscious of the fact that Alice must have woken me up a little before we arrived. She looked sheepish as she answered my question, "Well, I was trying to figure out a nickname for you… I am not saying that Isabella is not a nice name but I feel as though it is a bit heavy for you…"

I had no idea what she meant so I just smiled hopefully looking convinced. "Alright Alice," I said then yawned, "You may call me whatever you like but I was never fond of Izzy!"

She beamed back easily, "Neither am I for that matter… Do not fret, though, we will figure it out!"

I nodded and started to fix the pins in my hair. I should have taken them out because the headache I have now was not worth it. "Ooooh, Iz, look out there!" Alice bounced in her seat and I laughed at her continuous attempts to give me a nickname. Then I did what she said because her bouncing got even more impatient. What I saw was unbelievable…

"Is… Is this…" I stammered in utter awe.

Alice smiled watching me and answered calming, "Yes… Welcome to your new home."

There at the end of the lane stood the most… magnificent… house, no mansion I ever saw! _Mansion_ was not even a strong enough word; the Cullens owned a castle! It stood three stories with uncountable amount of windows with balconies and pillars that made me think of Shakespeare's plays. The color was somewhere between beige and a soft white with a red burgundy roof. The whole _estate_ was beautiful. A huge garden covered some of the place and freshly cut grass was all you could see for miles out! I could not believe my eyes. (**A/N: Pic on prof)**

"It is beautiful… well it is more than beautiful… it is…" I was still lost for words but by the look on Alice's face I knew I did not have to say anything; she understood. I looked out the window in silent contentment. As we got closer, though, my nervousness from previous began to creep into my thoughts. I did not know how to face _him_ again; the thought of him made me queasy. Then the gates to the Cullen estate opened and my heart pounded erratically.

Alice noticed my sudden anxiety and latched her hand on to my arm. "Do not stress," she soothed, "As odd as it may seem you are home now…"

_Is this place really my home now? _I smiled at her unconvinced. I could feel the carriage gradually come to a halt. I sat there, in complete silence, wishing I could go back home and hide under my blanket.

"Are you ready?" Alice asked in a whisper. Was I ready? Was I_ really _ready to face the unknown? Well, there is no turning back now… I took a deep breath and nodded to Alice; she looked … hopeful? I did not have time to ponder on her expression because the carriage door slammed open revealing a very happy looking man. He was huge, big as a bear, with dark curly hair and had a very child-like grin on his face! I realized he was watching me with his smile growing bigger and bigger by the second.

"SISTER!" he yelled, coming straight at me with his vast muscled arms wide open. He grabbed me right out of the carriage and before I had any time to react he had fitted me into his arms and was spinning me in circles! Never, in my life, have I felt so shocked with a man's reaction towards me… but for some very strange reason I was not angry or afraid. Instead, I smiled at yet another grinning stranger.

"Emmett Cullen!" it was Esme and she sounded horrified, "Put Isabella down this instant! Where are your manners?"

I stumbled backwards when my feet touched the ground… but before I could do any damage to myself I felt a strong arm wrap around my waist steadying me. Though I did not need to confirm that _he_ was my savior I still turned around to meet his eyes… the very ones that haunted me in my _very_ recent dream. Yes, there they are, sparkling green and void of any emotion. He released me immediately and I turned my head not caring anymore. As an alternative, I walked forward to meet the big man who was still grinning like a five year old.

"Mr. Cullen… it is a pleasure to meet you," I curtsied.

"Mr. Cullen can be your husband!" he scoffed, then my hand and kissing it he introduced himself, "I, milady, am Emmett the most charming fellow of all the Cullen men." He winked and I giggled which made Esme smile whole heartedly.

"You have to excuse Emmett, Isabella; he can be a royal fool at times," Alice explained from my side.

"Yes, but all the ladies adore it!" Emmett said crossing his arms and pouting slightly; I was amused. Just then a voice came from behind him, "I am sure I am the only one who did not fall for it."

She came up from behind him and all I could do was stare wide-eyed. She was gorgeous! She had blond hair that was softly piled up on the top of her head, striking features and ocean blue eyes. The fact that she had a big round belly did not decrease her beauty; she was glowing!

Emmett smiled lightly and took her hands in his, "That is why you are the woman I married, sweetheart."

"I have not forgotten that Edward had to drag you up to the altar!" she teased and waved Emmett off as he was about to answer. She looked at me intently… At first her face held no friendliness as she looked me up and down. Then she gazed at someone behind me and her expression got colder. I knew she was looking at _him_ because I was super aware of him standing directly behind me radiating tension. She looked back at me and smirked, something was humoring her.

"Mrs. Edward Cullen…" she said icily, "Hmmm… the name suits you."

I felt my face heating up, for some reason I felt humiliated. But in the back of my mind I mused over my new name…_Mrs. Edward Cullen?_ I looked over at Alice and she too was trying to hold back laughter; I was missing out on some joke. I turned back to the intimidating women in front of me since Alice was no help.

"It is a pleasure to meet you," I curtsied politely. But what she did next astounded me the most. The real life Cinderella came forward and hugged as tightly as Alice had!

"Welcome to the family," she said warmly.

I smiled back, "Thank you, Mrs.-"

"Rose," she cut me off, "Or Rosalie. I am sure you already know the rule in this household."

"You children should head inside I am sure everyone is tried and Rosalie you should be resting," Esme looked concerned but Rosalie dismissed her, "Oh I am fine!" Esme gave Emmett a pointed look that clearly meant that getting Rosalie inside was his responsibility. Then she excused herself and walked over to Carlisle where he stood talking to some guards.

"Well, Isabella, I would like to apologize for not intending your wedding," Rosalie began, "I would have come if some people did not object to my _condition_!" She glared at everyone who stood around me even the man who stood stiffly and quietly behind me.

"That is quite alright," I said quickly, "I understand!" _Besides there was not much to see except your brother-in-law glaring at me. _

"Well I really do hope you liked your present," she said in earnest.

"Present?"I questioned. Rosalie's face instantly turned bitter and she looked over my head again, "You have not given it to her yet?"

I was completely confused. But then I heard a soft mummer from behind me, "I would have presented your gift if dear Alice here had not snuck into my carriage…" he walked up and stood beside Alice. I took a peak at his face and saw his lips curve upward, an expression I had not seen on _his_ face. All I could do was stare at him. His strong jaw was not taut and his eyes were not cold; he looked angelic.

"You could confer it to Isabella tonight," Alice suggested as a matter-of-factly.

But then her words actually sunk in… and I frozen, a reflex reaction to tension. _Tonight_ was my _wedding_ night. Everyone grew quiet as if they all could feel the stress coming out of me. Emmett and Alice had their eyes glued to _him_ while Rosalie eyed my result to Alice's words. My heartbeat grew frantic and I just _had_ to see _his_ face. What was the worst he could do glare at me? I looked up and my heart stopped… He was staring intently at me as if to determine my reaction. My eyes grew wide and out of nowhere I blushed…bright red and he _smirked_! The next thing I heard was Emmet's roaring laughter! I, never in my life, have been as embarrassed as I was in that moment.

"He could…" Emmett said to Alice who was also trying to suppress her snicker, "If Eddie boy could only remember…"

"Why would he not remember, Em?" Alice played along feigning innocence. _Oh God, _I thought, _this could not end well!_

"Oh, you know…he might get _distracted!_" Emmett wiggled his eyebrows at me and my blush deepened. I did not dare look up at _him _again_. _

"I really think you should elaborate on what you are trying to say, Emmett…" Alice continued with her little game. I shot her a look but she only grinned mischievously and spoke again, "I do not understand why Edward looks so … uncomfortable?"

Rosalie who still watching me finally said something, "Oh, he's not uncomfortable, Alice. Maybe a little shy… You know…"

I grimaced and Rosalie laughed. I could swear that I was shaking by this point. I really wished they would stop. But I could see that Alice, my so-called sister, was having too much fun. "I _really _think you should explain what you are trying to say, Rose…"

Emmett laughed loudly and I flinched back bumping into _him_. That only made Emmet laugh even louder. Suddenly _he_ spoke, "I think we should go inside… The journey was tiring…" his voice was controlled with the same disinterest I had heard before.

Emmett laughed again, "Yes, Edward, I am sure you are eager to get to _bed_!"

That was the last straw and Alice and Rosalie joined in Emmett's loud, amused laughter. I wanted to hide myself in a hole! But since I could not do anything I stared at the ground. I heard _him_ sigh loudly and because of that not only was I embarrassed but I was also scared! Yes, they were all laughing right now but I knew it was obvious to even them that nothing like _that _would happen tonight or maybe ever. _What will happen tonight then?_ I questioned myself. The possibilities made me shudder. When their laughter eventually settled down I was able to breathe again.

"I should help you up to your room," Alice said thoughtfully, "It is almost dinnertime."

I nodded in thanks and stepped forward to go inside. As I entered the grand, double doors I thought about how this would be exactly like a fairytale if only I was not forced into this. The Cullens' home was extraordinary. From sparkling floors to beautiful furnishings, they had it all. It was bewildering that now all this would be equally mine. Alice did not say anything as she led me up the imposing staircase…or maybe she did but I was too lost in my surroundings to notice. She led me all the way to the third floor and to a room down the hall on the very end. She stopped before entering.

"This was Edward's room but it is evenly yours as well… so if you would like to make _any_ changes let Esme know," she whispered the last part, "Edward would not let her make any changes since it was his room at the time … but not anymore!" She looked entirely too happy with that. Then she opened the door and I was in awe… His room was its own world. The carpet was thick and gold and heavy curtains covered the windows. I strode in and on the left side I could see a small sitting area with books everywhere! There were more books here in _his room_ than seen in a library. I walked farther in and saw a baby piano! _How big was this place?_ There were music sheets spread around it. All things in here made the room have a classical feel to it. I thought it had personality! I saw Alice disappear into what I thought was a closet. Then I turned towards the right of room and my heart strutted. There, at the end, lined up beside the wall was the most gigantic round bed I had ever laid eyes on! No matter what I had thought before, _this_ bed held significance!

"Here we are!" Alice broke through my stupor. I turned around and saw that she was carrying a gown.

"Alice that is not one of mine," I protested seeing that it was the gown she brought me to wear to dinner.

"Yes, but your trunk has not been opened yet… so I thought this would be the perfect opportunity to see if the gowns we have gotten you fit!" Alice stirred me over to a dressing table in the corner that I had not seen before, ignoring my horrified expression. She sat me down on the chair in front of the mirror and immediately started to work on my hair.

Seeing everything that she was doing for me broke something inside of me and before I knew it I was crying again. "Why are you doing this, Alice?" I squeaked, "You know very well that _he_ would rather not have me at all!" I was surprised that I said that out loud. But Alice sighed and came to stand in front of me.

"Isabella, look at me," she said quietly; I looked up, "Yes, I know exactly what my brother would rather _want_… but he does not know what he _needs_. I wish I could explain everything now but it is really not the time. I just have to ask _you _for something."

I nodded when she did not continue, "Don't give up on him… too many people have."

I stared at her glazed over expression feeling guilty that I had even said anything. I knew I brought up something that upset her so I apologized. "No, it is not your fault. You deserve an explanation…" She quickly went back to fixing my hair. Then after a few moments she spoke again, "But if you both were to actually converse you will see that Edward is a true gentleman… even better than Emmett, The most charming of all Cullen men!"

I giggled thinking of my new brother. Suddenly a thought struck me, "Alice, why did you look like you were about to laugh when Rosalie said that the name … my new name… suited me?"

She laughed again, "Well, that was just to bother Edward!"

"_Why?_" Why would it bother him?

"Edward tried everything he could to get out of this marriage…" she shot me rueful smile, then continued, "Then the last day before we were headed to Greenwich he came up with the most ridiculous excuse saying what if, quote ' _What if the girl cannot live up to my name… she could be _hideous_ for all I know! _Mrs. Edward Cullen _the name needs to be respected and no whore can live up to it'" _I sat still watching Alice as she imitated her brother, cringing at _his_ words.

But Alice continued, "You should have seen his face when you first started to walk down the aisle," she snickered, "It is obvious you are no _Hideous Whore_… and that is exactly what Rosalie pointed out too!" 

I stayed quiet contemplating her words. What did she mean _you should have seen his face?_ I did see his face and because of that I had nightmares last night! Alice finished my hair and I have to say they looked… decent. Then she stood me up and helped me into the new gown. It was beige colored with dark brown details on it.

"There!" Alice said pleased with her work. Then as if on cue someone knocked on the door, "Oh that must be the servant… We should go eat dinner now."

I nodded and waited Alice to go first. She led me down the stairs and into the dining area. It was beautiful to say the least. A huge gourmet table was put out with what looked to be like expensive china. Everyone was already there as Alice and I entered the room. The men stood up until we were properly seated. Carlisle sat at the head of the table with Esme on his left and Alice on the right. I sat between Alice and Rosalie with _him_ across from me and Emmett on the left of him.

"You look stunning, Isabella!" Esme complimented.

I smiled at her, "Thank you so much for the gown it is the true beauty."

"Nonsense, the dress does not even begin to compete with you!" Esme said lovingly.

We started to eat and the conversation was cut short… that is until Carlisle spoke, "Well, Isabella, how do you like it here so far?"

I looked up from my plate and my eyes were suddenly met with green ones I looked away and answered Carlisle, "Umm… Well, your home is extraordinary…"

"This is your home too now, dear," Esme spoke softly.

"I have decided that Isabella will not be referred as Isabella any longer," Alice spoke out from nowhere. I smiled at where this was going; she is not the one to forget!

"Why is that?" Emmett looked way too interested, "Eddie boy are you hearing this?" Emmett smacked _his _shoulder and looked attentively at Alice. _He_ just shook his head and resumed eating.

"That is not important…" Alice answered Emmett's question, "We have to pick out a nickname for dear Isabella!"

"Are you sure that is what Isabella is comfortable with…" Carlisle asked. Then he looked at me and I smiled. That answered his question.

"Anything will be fine except Izzy!" I reminded Alice. She nodded in understanding.

"Izzy, we could do better than that!" Emmett scoffed. I looked at back at Emmett and saw him smack _his_ shoulder again.

"What do you have in mind?" Alice questioned professionally.

"Isla!" Emmett almost shouted. He looked a bit too excited! I raised my eyebrows in alarm.

Alice saw my expression, "What kind of name is _Isla_?" she questioned.

"It is the beginning and the end of Isabella!" Emmett said like it was the most obvious thing in the world, "What do you think Isabella, or should I say Isla?"

I almost laughed at his tone but composed myself quickly, "Umm…"

"Stop scaring the poor girl, Emmett!" it was Rosalie.

"Fine, maybe we could name our daughter that, Rosie?" the look on Rosalie's face said enough. Esme and Carlisle burst out laughing while Alice and I tried to keep it in. Emmett did not seem to understand it though. I noticed, as Rosalie started to talk, that the man in front of me, the one who belongs to this family looked entirely lost. It was like he was not even there… nobody paid him any attention as he ate quietly not even bothering to look up. He looked … lonely? Or maybe it was just the faraway look in his features. It did not make sense… I was so entirely transfixed on him that I did not even notice Alice trying to get my attention.

"Isabella?" Alice touched my arm. I could tell I missed out on something.

"So Eddie boy, what you think of _Iza_?" Emmett asked grinning devilishly… I did not even know how they came up with Iza.

"Are you sure Edward even knows his own wife's name?" Rosalie smirked.

Everyone became quiet as _he_ looked up at Rosalie then me… I held my breath. His eyes were penetrating like he could see right through me. In that moment everything felt like it stopped. Then clear as crystal his voice broke through the silence, "Bella, I think Bella will suit you…" I was totally consumed by his gaze…

"HE SPEAKS!" Emmett's shout broke our trance and I ducked my head. I was sure in the instance our eyes were locked on to each other he did not look angry or frustrated. Everyone seemed to ignore Emmett and had their eyes fixed on _him_.

"Bella! It is perfect!" Alice clapped her hands.

"Oh Edward that is such a lovely name," Esme looked as if she would explode with happiness. For some reason all the Cullens looked as if a miracle had happened…

For the rest of dinner everyone seemed quietly content. Carlisle asked question to keep me in the conversation but otherwise I did not need to speak. As soon as dinner was over _he_ excused himself and I did not see his face for the remainder of the evening. I stayed mostly with Alice and Rosalie. They told me many stories starting from their childhood to Rosalie's wedding. I felt at ease with them… that is until Esme announced it was time for bed.

"Come on, _Bella_!" Alice could not get enough of my new name. I have to say that I liked it too… very much. They led me back to the room… to _my_ room… and sat me in front of the mirror. This time Rosalie started to comb through my hair while Alice disappeared in the closet again.

"So… Are you nervous?" Rose whispered.

I pretended not to know what she was talking about, "Whatever is there to be nervous about?"

She raised her eyebrows unconvinced. I did not want to say anything but something in her gaze told me I had no choice… "You know nothing is about to happen… He does not even want to be in the same room as me!"

She sighed looking angry. "He can be such a child at times!" she huffed under her breath then turned to face me, "I am not going to say you are wrong, Bella, but you have to be _strong_. Do not let him think you are nothing of interest!"

I smiled at Rosalie. She seemed so in control and poised even with a stomach her size. Alice came out of the closet having heard the whole conversation. She had a knowing smile playing on her lips as she helped me in another _new_ sleeping gown. They shared a look before sitting me down on the chair again…

"Well I should get to bed as well… The baby will not stop kicking!" Rosalie rubbed stomach and smiled tenderly; I smiled too. She turned to leave but stopped and looked over her shoulder, "Let me warn you in case something does happen tonight, Bella… I've heard that my brother-in-law can be a beast… Have a good night!" She left laughing at my reddened cheeks.

Alice was behind me giggling away. She put a hand on my shoulder, "What she meant to say was… it will happen sooner or later!"

"What will happen?" Alice was not making any sense.

She leaned down to my ear and whispered, "Love."

I turned my head and stared at her in shock. "Alice… I... that… it is not to happen…" the weight of my own words made me slump my shoulders. She patted my cheeks, "It will happen, Bella, in time…"

We said goodbye to each other and she left with the same knowing smile as before. The door clicked shut and I was finally alone. Letting my head hang in my hands I tried to sort through mind. So much had happened! The house was unbelievable! The property was overwhelming! And I was in London for god sake's! My personal purpose had come true. I had Alice and Rosalie for sisters now and that was a lot for a girl like me. Thinking of my new family members and everything over top of that I realized that I had what every girl ever dreams of having… Well with the exception of one. But with everything I have gained I am willing to deal with my only source of problem…

Edward Cullen… Who I knew was now standing in front of me.

**Okay don't hate me! I swear I was going to put Edward and Bella's conversation in this chapter…. But I couldn't! SORRY! I know there was not enough of Edward but I promise more Edward is on the way… I just needed to get all of this out of the way first! And now that it is… Fasten your seatbelts people the DRAMA is about to start! (And course ROMANCE!) **

**BUT! **

**Nothing will happen unless I get reviews! And maybe just maybe if I get enough reviews I might give you all an EPOV (hint hint!) **

**Btw your reviews make me smile!**

**XOXO**

**ISHEY-EJ**


	5. The Beginning

**Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight**

**You guys are all amazing! THANK YOU! The reviews I get are the only things that keep me writing and I'm so happy that you are enjoying my fic. I know my fan fiction is not the best thing you've all read but it really does mean a lot to me that you're giving it the time of day. I love you all! ****And everyone who reviewed or put my story on Alert you all deserve brownies! **

**Anyways guys I've wanted to create a banner for YAMLN but I seriously don't know how to do that! Can someone please help me out? That would mean a lot! **

**Oh and also remember that this story is not Beta'd so if you find any mistakes let me know!**

**Here it is!**

Chapter 5- The Beginning

My eyes shot open and I gasped out of my sleep. My heartbeat was frantic as I tried to bolstermyself out of my nightmare. _It was a dream, Isabella, _I told myself, _it was a horrible, terrible dream. _I took calming breaths until I was aware of my surroundings. The room was dark but slightly lit by the light of dawn… I relaxed feeling comfortable and warm. I stared at the ceiling above me burying into my pillow and the vast bed. In fact, I was too comfortable and warm; something was _different_. I turned to my right and froze immediately as I looked at the angel who lay beside. His face was so beautifully peaceful in his slumber that I felt pity that he never wore that expression in his wake. _Something had to have happened for him to be so cold,_ I thought while closed my eyes trying to fall asleep again. After my conversation with him last night I did not know what to do…

I was slowly drifting to unconsciousness, thinking about _him…_ Edward, when I felt an arm wrap around my waist. Shocked, I did not move an inch; if he was awake then it was better for him to not know that I was too. No matter what he was planning to do I stayed still and waited. When he did not move either I opened my eyes slowly and breathed a sigh of relief… he was asleep. I hesitantly reached for his arm and lightly grabbed a hold of his wrist. I tried to pry his arm off but the more I pulled the tighter his hold got. I huffed and tugged on his arm hard… but that had the opposite effect of what I had wanted. He pulled me closer to him until his face was buried in the crook of my neck. His soft yet thick hair tickled my cheek and I felt his breathe on me. Trying not to panic I stayed still feeling the tingles on my neck. His arms were strong as they were enfolded around my body. I felt small and delicate pressed against his hard, muscled chest. His heartbeat was strong and rhythmic; I felt my breathing pick up. His proximity reminded me of his words from last night and all of a sudden the anger that I was unable to show before made itself known. I was angry at him, angry at myself and angry at our pathetic excuse of a marriage because we will never be happy together! Why is fate playing tricks on me… do I not deserve to be happy? My anger bubbled up inside as I tried to break free again. I moved my hands to his chest and shoved him but he did not even seem to notice my poor attempts. I sighed and let my hands slide down his sides thinking that I could do nothing more; he was a heavy sleeper. But then he jolted slightly as my hands come to rest on his waist. I smiled deviously, _ticklish, are we Mr. Cullen?_ I moved my hands up and down his sides again until he let go of me and turned to sleep on his left side. I relaxed and sat up… there was absolutely no possibility of me falling asleep again because how was I to sleep with a strange but beautiful man beside me.

I got up slowly and made my way to the window right beside the bed. The sun was just rising, making my view even more so beautiful. The Cullens' property was truly marvelous; they had everything and now I was a part of all of this. Though I was happy something still did not feel right to me… I knew what was wrong but I could not do anything about it. I turned my head and looked at Edward thinking about what he had said to me the night before…

_My head was swimming with anxiety as I looked up to see him standing by the doorway staring intently at me. Without thinking I stood up. There was a force in his gaze that I was unable to ignore; I stared right back at him. Then he sighed, breaking the connection, and ran a hand through his implausible hair. He closed the door behind him and turned to face me again. His prominent green orbs were glazed over as he walked towards me. Suddenly fear griped at my chest… what if Alice and Rosalie had been right? My heartbeat grew frenzied as he slowly crept forward. It all felt so surreal…was I about to give myself up to a man I did not even know, a man who gave me no sense of comfort or warmth? I could not do this… I would not do this! He would not force me… would he? _

_He stopped directly in front of me and gestured for me to sit down. I did what he asked not knowing what else to do. He hesitated at first but took a seat as well. The silence between us was thick with tension… that is until he finally spoke._

"_I am so very sorry, Isabella," I looked up, taken aback by the words he had uttered. His eyes were so earnest that I could not believe that this was the same man who had glared at me during our whole wedding ceremony. But what did he mean; what exactly was he apologizing for? Seeing that I was about to ask him a question he raised his hand, "Please let me finish…" I nodded in response looking back down at my hands. The repressing look in his eyes was too much for me to handle… it would be easier to communicate with him if I kept my eyes safely away from his. _

_I heard him sigh before he began, "Everything that has happened is because of our families. It mainly happened because of our fathers' decision. But to me, this marriage is meaningless." His words rang clearly through the quietness of the room. I looked to see his expression and instantly I knew that he spoke gravely. He waited for my response… and I visibly had none. I did not know whether to be relieved or upset. The truth was, I was so emotionally drained that his words did not affect me. The minute I saw him I knew that he was against this marriage as much as I was. So I nodded, letting him know that I understood what he was saying. His face was detached from any expression; whatever he thought of my response he did not show it. _

"_You will have everything that you might need and more," He continued looking like the worst had yet to come, "My family will take good care of you. I can tell that they are already quite fond of you. But do not expect anything from me! You have your freedom, Isabella."_

_His words were ruthless but I knew they had to be said; a reason for his apology. Though I was well prepared for hearing what he was saying, a part of me still felt dejected. I tried to think of Alice's encouraging words but his presence made me forget everything except that I was unwanted. I squirmed in the chair._

"_Do you have any questions?" he eyed me, waiting. He may have realized that I have yet to say a word to him. _

_I took a deep breath, "Your family is now all I have, Mr. Cullen. I know that we were forced into these circumstances but now I do not have a choice." I could not believe that my voice sounded so calm and patient. But I was more than shocked at next words that tumbled out of my mouth, "You are my husband, Mr. Cullen… and you cannot change that anymore than I can. I hear what you say and I do not expect anything from you... but you are wrong about one thing…. My freedom and choice is not in my hands anymore. It never was…my father gave it to you!"_

_Now I waited for his response. I do not know where the courage came from or where my own words came from but I said them realizing that they were true. I looked up at him again to see his reaction. He looked a bit overcome and that made me see another expression that he had carefully hidden. He was miserable! It felt like I was watching a man burn from the inside and I could do nothing. I watched as he sucked in a deep breath and pinched the bridge of his nose. I could not take any more of his pain knew he did not want me to witness._

_I stood up and walked over to the bed, "I have no other option but to trust you Mr. Cullen… Please do not think ill of me for my previous words, I am only doing what my father had wished. Tis' very late you should rest." I turned around swallowing my tears. _

"_Isabella?" I faced him again when he called my name, "You may call me, Edward…" with that he left the room. _

_He must have returned sometime during the night after I had fallen asleep_, I thought as I curled up in the soft chair beside the window. I was much too early to wake anyone, even though Alice had said that I could come to her anytime of the day. I closed my eyes hearing the birds' chirper. The wretchedexpression that Edward wore last night kept on repeating in my head; he was the main reason for my nightmare. _What could have caused him to look so… unbearably devastated? _I was intrigued, scared and angered. My emotions felt all over the place. I dreaded knowing the fact that this was only the beginning.

**OK I know I'm cruel! But it was either a short chapter or no chapter! DON'T HATE JUST APPRECIATE! **

**What did you guys think of Edward so far? Let me know I love hearing from you all!**

**REVIEW! (My goal is to at least get 100 reviews for the whole Fanfic… Come on guys help me out!) **


	6. The Ball

**Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight**

**Hey everybody! As always I would like to thank the wonderful people who reviewed or put my story on alert! I always try and reply the reviews but this time there was a little mishap and I lost track of who I replied and who I didn't... so if you didn't get a reply or get got one twice please know that I was confused... o well it happens!**

**This week I sat down and wrote the layout for the ****whole**** story right to the finish (took me hours!)... And let me tell you that I am so excited for the upcoming events! You guys will love it! I've also been busy writing another Fanfic called 'Anything for you' it will hopefully be posted soon! **

**Anyways I'm still waiting on the special person who is willing to help me make a banner for this fan fiction... Come on guys! Who wants to see Edward in a 1800s tux? **

**Remember reviews let me know people want more...**

**Here it is!**

Chapter 6 – The Ball

"Bella... Bellaaa... Beelllaaaa," the whispering was breaking through my conscious... My muscles felt tight and uncomfortable. I turned my head towards the voice and moaned at the ache in my neck.

"BELLA!" my eyes flew open in shock. It was disconcerting at first as I tried to remember how I happened to fall asleep on the chair by the window... Then the early morning events flooded through my mind; the comfortable bed, the feeling of Edward's arm, his chest, his breath... _Dear god, Isabella! What are you thinking? _I shook my head to clear my thoughts and looked at the bed which was now empty. For a fact, Alice was the one to wake me.

I got up from the chair, wincing at the pain, and called for her, "Alice, where are you?" I heard a muffled voice from the closet and walked into it. I gasped... _Could this place get any larger?_ There were racks and trunks of clothing everywhere! I walked in with a sudden feel of dread... I had never even seen this many gowns in my life let alone own them.

"Alice, why are there so many gowns in here?" I was sure Edward had no interest in owning gowns. But who was I to know of Edward's preferences? The thought made me melancholy.

"These are yours. A gift from Rosalie and me," Alice finally appeared carrying a light pink dress, "You could not expect to be living with only a trunk of clothes!"

She did not give me a chance to reply by breezing past me out of the closet. I followed quietly not wanting to explain that a trunk of clothes is all I ever had; I would only embarrass myself. I walked out and saw her staring at the enormous bed intently.

"Is everything alright?"I questioned not liking how her blank stare was slowly turning into a glare.

She did not speak a word. Instead, she turned on her heal back towards me and helped me into the light pink gown. Then she sat me down in front of the mirror like yesterday and started to comb through my hair. I have never felt so taken care of in my life, even my mother had never treated me so significantly. Throughout the process I heard Alice sigh repetitively. My first guess was that I had done something wrong and she felt exasperated by my mistake and lack of know how. But then I felt her caress my cheek and give me a sympathetic smile and I knew that something else was the matter.

I finally decided to ask, "Alice, why so disheartened this lovely morning?" I tried to sound enthusiastic but I came out as nervous.

She sighed again but this time loudly and came to stand in front of me; her hands on my shoulders. "What did he do?" she was angry but too upset to really show it.

"Whatever do you mean?" I knew she was talking about Edward but I could not understand why she would say that.

Alice's expression was grave as she looked into my eyes and asked, "Please tell me that he did not force you to sleep on the chair last night."

I stared at her absolutely stunned that she would come up to this conclusion. I knew her seeing me sleeping on the chair would raise some questions but I did not expect her accusation. I quickly tried to explain myself before this got out of hand, "No, no he did not force me to do anything, Alice. I – I woke up early this morning and could not fall back to sleep so I decided to sit by the window... The view was really quite spectacular!" I added that in the end hoping to distract her. She looked a little wary of my answer so I decided to continue, "You were right, Alice. He is a gentleman."

Her face softened a bit and she smile, "Your room really does have the best view!"

I laughed and stood up, "Thank you, Alice!" I hugged her and looked at my reflection over her shoulder. My hair was gracefully swept off my face into delicate bun. My skin looked soft with a hint of a blush; it matched the color of the gown. Suddenly there was a knock on the door and I pulled back from the embrace. I turned towards the door to see who had entered.

"Good morning," his velvety voice was distant but I could see he was making an effort to be polite. I smiled a little acknowledging his greeting. I looked at him thoroughly noticing the light brown suit he wore that complemented his bronze hair well. The way he stood his posture made him look like an intimidating angle. I shook my head trying not to be dazzled by his charming looks... This was not normal for me.

"Edward, are here to escort your wife to breakfast?" Alice paid no attention to my gawking as she went over to Edward and kissed him on his cheek. He had to bend down a little due to their height difference but otherwise kept his eyes on me. His gaze was concentrated as he answered, "Yes but I would like a moment alone-"

"Say no more;" Alice cut him off turning back to me, "I'm sure Bella would not mind it either..." She winked at me with a devilish smile and I turned three shades of red. She wasted no time and hurried out the door, conspicuously closing it behind her. She really knew how to make a moment awkward for others.

"I should have done this last night... but I completely forgot," Edward walked towards me slowly as I tried to comprehend what he was talking about. Then suddenly he picked out something from his inner coat pocket and held it towards me, "It is a gift from the family; the one Rosalie had mentioned."

I took it from his from hand, ignoring the way he specifically tried not to touch my skin, and opened the square velvet box. I gasped out load when I saw what lay inside. It was positively the most beautiful and enormous diamond pendant I saw. The blue heart shaped diamond was surrounded by smaller white diamonds as it sparkled in the sunlight coming through the window. The necklace was beyond gorgeous. It was a heart breaking realization that broke through my awe. _I cannot accept this! I am already drowning in their debt. _My eyes were suddenly watery as I looked up to see Edward staring at me.

"I – I'm not so sure that I should ... What I mean is that this is..." My stammering was interrupted by another knock at the door. Edward seemed undisturbed by whoever was knocking and continued to wait for what I was about to say. His gaze was penetrating.

I took a deep breath and spoke my thoughts, "The necklace is beyond beautiful... but it is really too much, I cannot accept this... I do not deserve it." I whispered the last part hoping he would understand what I was saying to him. Then I looked up to gauge his reaction. I waited for the worst.

He sighed and ran a hand through his hair, "You will inherit quite a few baubles like these, so it is better for you to start accepting them now." His tone held no argument so I stayed quiet and I touched the necklace again as he went to go answers the door. I heard a shrilly voice of a women say my name. I turned around and saw a small brunette leaning towards Edward. He stood there rigidly as she looked up at him batting her eyelashes and smiling flirtatiously. I coughed a little as I realized who she was. It did not go unnoticed as Edward whipped his head around and to meet my gaze. I looked down but the smirk on _m_y face did not vanish. _Poor, handsome Mr Cullen was getting pursued by his own servant. _The thought made me want to laugh out loud. I bit my lip to stay in control and looked at Edward again. He looked helpless standing there as the small brunette kept chatting away and offering unwanted help. She took a step towards him just as he took a step back. I decided to step in as well.

"Ahem," I cleared my throat loudly finally getting noticed by the presumptuous woman. I walked forward and stood purposely beside Edward. "May I help you?" I gave her a pointed look.

The venom in her face was clear, "No, _Madam_, Sir Cullen would like to see you in his study before breakfast are served."

I nodded dismissively and turned to Edward. I hoped he understood what I was trying to do. "Would you, please, show me the way to the study?" I very clearly heard a huff from the brazen person who had the audacity to keep standing there. I looked at Edward waiting for his answer; he could keep getting harassed by the brash woman if he preferred. Maybe he welcomed her advances? I could not tell his face was completely blank. My worries were erased when he turned towards her and said, "You may leave now, Miss Stanley." She smiled sickly sweet at him and left swaying her hips.

"Forgive me, I did not mean to be so flagrant," I turned my head. _I had that..._

"Tis' fine... Miss Stanley has a reputation for being so blatant," Then so quietly that I am not sure I heard correctly, he mumbled, "Thank you..."

I nodded and followed him quietly as he led the way to Carlisle's study. He walked down the stairs to the first floor and down the hall to the right, stopping in front of mahogany double doors. He turned and faced me, "I shall see you before the ball this evening..." _yes Alice was determined to go through with the ball. _He turned on his heel and started to walk away. I did not know where he was planning to go but I stopped him.

"Ummm... Edward?" This was the first time I said his name out loud; I am sure it did not go unnoticed. He turned back to me, not looking as frustrated as before, waiting. I looked into his eyes that held no spark and spoke my mind, "You should eat first."

His eyes grew a little wide and in that moment he seemed so completely vulnerable. In that moment I could see just how much he needed someone. I, who could not take it, turned without another word and entered the room.

Carlisle's study was impressive! There were comfortable couches and large wooden desks on one side while the other preoccupied the books and utensils. The ceiling was high as the walls were covered with shelves. On the north side I could a see glass door that opened up to the backyard. I could spend forever here!

"Bella!" I turned to the sound of Carlisle's voice.

"Good morning, Carlisle."I smiled at him sweetly. He looked freshly dashing in his soft white tux as he walked towards me from around the corner of the room.

"To you as well," he smiled and gestured for me to sit. I placed myself on the soft looking couch as he came over to me with a couple of envelopes in his hands.

"How are you adjusting so far?" he compassionately asked.

"This estate is unbelievable but it is nothing compared to the people who own it..." I said truthfully. Everyone has been wonderful to me..._ with the exception of one, _I thought.

"I am glad... But you might surprised with the kind of people will meet at the ball tonight," he chuckled.

I raised my eyebrows in alarm, "Well, I certainly hope to not be taken aback."

"No, no that is not what I meant," Carlisle explained quickly still chuckling, "There are a lot of... How should we say this? Hmmm, there will be many _entertaining _souls to meet tonight."

I shook my head knowing too well what he meant. I looked back at Carlisle and saw him fiddling with the envelopes. He met my eyes and tapped the envelopes with his fingers, "Your father was my one and only truest friend. He saved my life countless times and all that I have today is because of him. I know that you are angered by his decision to have you married without your knowledge, especially after the circumstances you have been through-"

"You are aware of that?" I interrupted rudely. I could not believe that he knew what had happened... this could not be a good thing! I have done everything I could have to hide this truth from everyone and now Carlisle just happens to know... My father would not have told him... would he?

Carlisle could see the dilemma on my face, so he spoke in calming manner, "Yes, Bella... your father had told me everything before he asked for this matrimony. You may not know why he made this decision but I want you to know that your father loved you. He did everything in his power to stop what had happened but it was not meant to be. Charles knew the consequences the situation would cause and he did not want to leave you and your mother to suffer. He came for my help and I did not think twice... My family loves you already Bella and I do not want you to think that you are in debt. I am the one under debt, child... indebt of your father. But I do have to say, though, that I could not ask for a better daughter-in-law!"

I sat there in shock at what Carlisle had said. I could not deny that I was embarrassed and angry for what my father had done but right now I felt happy and at peace. The Cullens are truly my family now. I looked back at Carlisle, "Thank you, I could not ask for a better family." It was the truth... it was the only reason I was fine to deal with a husband like Edward Cullen.

As if reading my mind, Carlisle spoke, "And as for Edward... give him some time. My youngest can be stubborn." Carlisle smiled again but this time it did not reach his eyes. I knew that I had some difficult tasks ahead of me because of his stubborn child but I smiled anyway letting him know that I was alright. That seemed to make him happy... The whole family was counting on me to handle Edward... but why? He certainly could not be that bad? I dismissed that thought. I saw Carlisle studying the unopened envelopes and shake his head.

"May I escort my newest daughter to breakfast?" he smiled and his debonair crooked smiled that remind me of a prince. I nodded and stood.

Breakfast passed easily. Emmet and Edward were nowhere to be seen but I did not question why. Conversation was provided mostly by Alice talking about the ball. Rosalie kept telling to beware of some of the ladies attending.

"Is there any particular reason you keep warning me?" I asked after she finished talking.

"Sweetie, they all envy you... and I am overprotective of my family." Rosalie had a hard glint in her eyes like she remember something distasteful. Alice handed me another piece of bread and jam; she had taken the liberty to force everything down my throat.

"Why are they envious?" I asked chewing my food a little scared.

Rosalie laughed, "Well you have taken their only source of entertainment..." Alice glared at Rosalie before changing the subject, "Bella if you are finished, would you like to see your gown?"

I nodded, "But, Alice, you really did not have to make me a gown. That is truly too much!"

"Oh, pish posh! Rosalie we shall see you in my bedroom after you are dressed," Alice turned to me as Rosalie stood and left taking Alice's commands seriously, "Rose will be in charge of your hair... she is a connoisseur."

With that she led to her room which was on the second floor and to the right. Her room was angelic. Everything looked pure and delicate. The soft coloured curtains and white furniture all made the room look brighter than it actually was like heaven. In a way it suited Alice's personality well; she was an angel.

"This is beautiful," I whispered.

"Oh tis' not important," Alice waved it off running too the back. I knew she was excited to show me the gown so I did not stop her though I hoped she did not go through too much trouble. I decided to sit and wait for her; I did not know what was taking her so long. After a little shuffling that I kept hearing from her, Alice finally appeared carrying something that was covered under a white cloth.

"Are you ready to see your gown for the evening," Alice sounded deadly serious. My actual curiosity was the only thing that kept me from laughing.

"Yes, would you do me the honour of showing it to me," After a little thought I added, "Though, I am sure it is fantastic since you have designed it."

That got a smile out of her. She nodded enthusiastically, "This gown is made for you, and of course it will only be perfect!"

She removed the sheet and revealed the gown. It was floor length with the base material being red and accessorized with black netting that covered the whole gown. It was nicely sequenced above the chest area with many small tiny details everywhere. It was exquisite; it was perfect for me.

"Alice, my lord, this is perfection!" I touched the black netting delicately.

"Do you love it?" She questioned, there was a hint of doubt there.

"Perfection, Alice, it is perfection!" I hugged her as tightly as I could letting her know how much I appreciated what she did.

She laughed, "You are truly welcome! Now let us see how it fits!"

The dress had fit perfectly, though Alice did have to make some last minute alterations. But after that was out of the way I was able to get dressed. I questioned her about the people I would be meeting tonight and if any of her friends would be attending. Alice told me how, even though she was very social, she had no interest in mindless gossip and jealousy. She talked about how most people liked to please the Cullens in their face but said hurtful words behind their back. There were only some families the Cullen really befriends but half of them would not be attending. Rosalie came after a couple of hours wearing a black and gold gown that was unbelievable!

"You look gorgeous, Rose!" I whispered.

She laughed holding her stomach, "No one will be looking at me tonight! I see that Alice has done an amazing job on your gown... you look beautiful, Bella!"

I blushed, "Alice worked hard." I was not used to compliments.

"Where is she?" Rosalie turned her head looking around the room.

"She is dressing... I offered to help but she would not let me," I answered.

"Well then come on," she ushered, "I shall fix your hair." I sat down in front of Alice's huge dressing table and Rosalie got to work. Not two minutes later Alice reappeared. She wore a light blue gown with a tight bodice and a skirt that flowed delicately to the floor.

"Oh my, Alice... you look stunning!" I grinned at her and came and stood beside me.

"Not as stunning as you!" She started to help Rose with my hair.

"Oh do not dismiss it like that! Rose tell how beautiful she looks..." I pouted.

Rosalie sniggered, "Well she will most definitely take Jasper's breath away!" Alice gasped and I raised my eyebrows.

"Jasper?" I questioned.

"He is no one of importance!" Alice said quickly and Rosalie laughed out loud.

"Rose?" I asked I knew Alice was hiding something.

"Jasper is my brother." Rosalie stated, "He will be settling in London soon and is attend the ball tonight. He going to stay with us until the manor that he is given is ready. That is why Emmet and Edward are away; they went to receive him from the station" _Well that mystery is solved!_

"He is given a manor?" I asked.

"Yes, from the military... he is an army major." Rosalie answered smiling a little. They worked on hair a bit longer until we heard loud voices come up the stairs.

"They are here!" Rosalie sang and Alice huffed.

"Alice what is the matter?" I asked; she was scowling. I looked at Rosalie through the mirror and saw her trying to hold back laughter.

Then suddenly Alice exploded, "HE ACCUSED ME OF BEING A FLIRT!" I stared at her and Rosalie laughed.

"O Alice, you were being a flirt! But I think he was agitated because you were not flirting with_ him_!" Rosalie laughed again. Alice huffed again crossing her arms.

"Do not be cross with me!" Alice glowered, "I will show Major hale, your no good brother, how lady- like I can be!"

"We shall see!" Rosalie said ending the conversation and finished my hair. It was quiet for two seconds then I giggled.

"BELLAAA!" Alice complained.

"I am sorry, Alice but now I would really like to meet Major Hale." I clamped my mouth shut at the look she gave me.

"Alright, Bella, you are officially perfect!" Rosalie said. I stood up and turned to face them. They both stared at me for two minutes without saying a word.

"Oh Bella, you are so beautiful!" Alice came over to hug me while Rosalie got a calculated look in her eyes.

"She will most definitely take _Edward's_ breath away!" Rosalie smirked and I blushed.

"Yes, yes!" Alice nodded, "Now Bella I want you to head back to your room and wait there until I ask you to make your entry at the ball. Oh, and make sure Edward is dress properly!" My heart strutted at the thought of seeing him again. But I said nothing and quietly left Alice's room.

I heard quiet voices as I neared the door to my room. I barely could hear Esme's hushed whispers, "Edward please you have to-"

"I did everything you both have told me to!" Edward voice was hard as he respond to whatever Esme was about to say, "What else could you possibly want?"

"We only want you to be happy, sweetheart!" Esme voice was louder, "You have to give Bella a chance..." _They were discussing me? _I did not wait for Edward to respond again and entered the room. They both were turned away from me and did not notice me come in. I could see Edward fiddling with his bow tie while Esme tried to tame his hair.

"Let me help you with that?" Esme offered touching the bow tie.

"No thank you. I can handle it," Edward voice was strained as he moved away from her.

"Edward please do not get stubborn... You have to be ready, people are starting to arrive!" Esme reached for him again but Edward snapped before she could do anything, "Esme I do not need _your_ help!" He was rude and distant as he pushed away from Esme again. I could see the hurt in her eyes as she gave up and finally noticed me standing at the entrance. She looked at me without saying anything but I knew what she was asking for. _Help _was written in features. Her sadness made me angry and determined! No mother deserved what she was enduring. I took a step forward and Esme smiled.

"Bella," she whispered and Edward froze the tendons in his back rigid, "My dear you look lovely!" She came over and hugged me.

"Thank you Esme," I hugged her back then pulled away.

"Everyone one will love you, dear," she said smiling, "I shall see down at the ball." She looked back at Edward and sighed. Then she kissed my cheek and left quietly. I stood for a little while not knowing what to do. I finally decided to sit and wait for Alice. I slowly walked over to the chair beside Edward and sat down. He was repeatedly tying the bow tie wrong, getting frustrated and pulling his hair in the process. After 5 minutes of the same procedure I decided to offer some help, though I am not sure why because he did not even let his own mother help.

"Would you like some help?" I asked quietly. He pointedly ignored me. His arrogance was really starting to hurt my ego. "You are doing it wrong!" I said firmly. This time he turned his head and glared at me; I glared right back. I had enough of his rudeness! I stood up and walk up in front of him. He looked shocked at my actions and his anger really started to show.

"Tis' none of your concern!" he gripped the bowtie until his knuckles were white. I stepped a little closer to him and calmly said, "I know." His eyes widened and he looked terrifyingly angry. I ignored his expression raised my hand to touch his tight knuckles. As soon as our skin touched a current flowed through. I tried to calm my suddenly speeding heart and looked in his eyes once more before prying his hand off the bowtie. He did not move away, instead, he stood in front of me rigidly and expressed his anger in his gaze. Ignoring him completely, I took a deep breath and untied the bowtie. I had to reach up a little because of his height but otherwise retied the bow perfectly; it was tucked nicely in his collar. I sighed and turned away without looking at him. Suddenly he grabbed my wrist tightly and pulled me back to his chest. I gasped and looked up at him. His eyes were wild as he stared deep into my eyes. I could see his anger...but there was something else... I stood there pressed against his chest, shocked beyond words. He looked at me from head to toe and his eyes glazed over. He bent his head down and my mind went ecstatic. His scent was all I could register; I closed my eyes and...

"Do not cross me," His lips hovered right above my ear, "Or you will suffer." His voice was quiet, threatening and deadly as his hand tightened its grasp on my wrist. I could feel the surprise and fear course through my veins and my breathing picked up.

Suddenly the door flew open.

"Edward, Bella tis' time for you to- oh? Am I interrupting?" My body was entirely hidden behind Edward's but I did not need to see Emmett's face to know what conclusion he had jumped to...

Edward pulled away from me but his grasp on my wrist did not loosen, "No. Are we allowed down to the ball now?" Edward's voice was serene as he looked at his brother with disinterest.

I looked at Emmet who was watching us suspiciously. I knew he could see the fear in my visage but I could do nothing to hide it. The words Edward had said a moment ago chilled me to my spine. Emmett's tiny smile faded when his eyes took in how hard Edward was holding on to my wrist. "Is everything alright?" I did not miss the fact that he was speaking directly to me. I nodded doing my best to hide the panic.

"Well then, your guests await you..." he smiled down at me then turned his head toward Edward, "I need to talk with you before we go down... alone." Emmett's tone was serious but Edward did not seem to register that.

"We do not have time for conversations," Edward dismissed his bother. He released my wrist, which throbbed as the blood rush through the veins and left the room. Emmett shook his head at Edward's retreating back then turned to face me.

He gave me a sympathetic smile, "Ready to go, sister?" He held out his arm for me to take it. I returned his smile and took his arm. There was no good in thinking about what had happened; I had to bear it.

We walked out of the room and Emmett cheered up again, "If any of these scornful ladies even look at you wrong, sister, you tell me. I will charm them out of their wits!"

I giggled at Emmett's train of thought. I looked up to see him showing both his dimples; I giggled again. "Do not let Rose hear you," I whispered. We reached the top of the staircase when we saw Edward standing there staring at us. He looked in better control of himself but his stance was still stiff. Emmett did not even acknowledge his presence and walked forward.

"Isabella and I have to enter through the other doors," Edward spoke up when we reached the first step. Emmett did not answer him. He kissed my cheek and whispered, 'Do not tell Rose,' before letting go. I smiled at him as he walked down the stairs. I looked back at Edward fully wiping the smile off my face. He appeared as if he was about to say something but in the end he only held out his arm for me to take it. I did so without protest or another glance at his too perfect face. We walked down the stairs in silence. As we got closer to the ball room I could hear music, voices and laughter. He stopped us right before opening the heavy double doors and turned towards me. I stared straight ahead pretending to not notice him. He sighed loudly but then opened the doors without saying anything.

Carlisle was not fibbing when he warned me of the 'entertaining souls'. I only must have met a handful of people with personalities and I have circled the ball room three times already!

The ball was a success; all part of Alice's flawless planning. Alice who had been extra restless after a certain tall, blonde man introduced himself as Jasper. I had to say that Jasper was the only one at the whole ball who I thought was interesting and bright. The rest were just rich and rich individuals who only cared for their social status. Thankfully, I did not have to interact with them a whole lot since Alice kept on having me circle the ball room again and again. Edward left my side immediately after Carlisle and Esme said a toast and introduced me as their new daughter-in-law. He went off on his own conversing with people here and there, all the while, having a bunch of females trailing behind him; females who immediately disliked me. This surprised me some but later on Rosalie's words from the morning started to make sense. When the ladies started to approach Edward, he disappeared. I tried not to care but something in the back of my mind kept making me look for him.

When the ball finally started to come to an end Alice finally let me sit down in one of the chairs in the corner. She demanded that I not move from the seat until she came back with some food. But I knew she was not coming back any time soon because I saw Jasper follow soon after her. I shook my head, _poor Jasper cannot even keep his eyes off of her._ Even though Alice claimed he was anything but a gentleman I knew she fancied him as well. I was happy for them; everyone deserves someone special in their life. _Everyone except me_, I sighed.

"Charles Swan?" I suddenly heard my father's name being spoken by a man who stood behind me. He seemed to be in a deep conversation with someone directly in front of him; they did not perceive me sitting here.

"Yes, this Isabella that the Cullens are so fond of... Tis' her!" The other person answered in a loud undertone; I listened intently.

"I heard Charles was a good man... but under debt..." the first person sounded wary.

"What kind of debt would make him take such a step?" I did not want to know what they were talking about... But it was too late...

"That is quite true..."

"He should have at least thought of the fact that she was his only child! What a disgrace!" The second voice spit out.

_Oh dear Lord! _They knew, I did not even know who these people were and yet they knew the one thing I want to hide. I could not take it; I stood up suddenly looking for and exit. It was a good thing I was already in the corner; the guest would not notice my hasty departure. As soon as the doors shut close I let out a sob and ran outside into the dark.

The wind was usually cold for this time of the year but it felt good on my tear streaked face. I calmed down enough so I was not sobbing but my tears still ran freely. How was it possible that some strangers knew about the horrible happenings in my past? What have I done to deserve this fate? I wanted to scream! WHY?

Suddenly a hand clamped down on my shoulder and I did scream.

"Shhh!" he hissed putting his other hand to my mouth but removing it instantly.

"Edward?" I asked timidly. I could only make out the shape of his very tall frame in the darkness.

"Why are you out here?" he whispered vehemently.

"I – I needed a sometime alone... I feel a little ill," I trembled as the wind blew past us. I wrapped my arms around myself looking down. I really did not want to be with him at this moment. I turned and started to walk away when he suddenly blocked my away.

"Does anyone know that you are out here?" he asked crossing his arms.

I looked at him feeling anger bubble inside of me, "Tis' none of your concern!" I spit his previous words back to him. Then I turned in the opposite direction.

"I will take that as a no..." he sneered, "What a wonderful way to be thankful to the people who have given you a home!"

I stopped in my tracks and whipped my head around to meet his smug smile. Something inside of me split and all the anger, anguish, depression was set off. I was red! This arrogant, self- centered man had absolutely no right to say what he had. I marched towards him until I could feel the heat coming off his chest.

"You are the most egotistical, self-centered, despicable man that I have _ever_ met, Mr Cullen. You have everything that a person could ever ask for, wealth, status and a loving family that would do anything for you. Why is it that you are the only one who cannot see that? You are hurtful to your mother, ignorant to your siblings and defiant to your father... and _you_ tell _me_ that I am not thankful? Open your eyes, Mr Cullen, before your own family wishes you away!" I was seething and did not care for evil how I sounded, "And, as for me, I know I must have done some great sin in my past life to deserve a husband like you! You do not even care for your family; I would be the last person to cross your mind. I do not want anything to do with you! I am here to aid your family and _that _is what shows my gratitude for them!"

I turned on my heel and walked away gracefully. My hands were balled up into fists at my side and I became numb. I walked back indoors and wiped my eyes clean. I took a deep breath and entered the ball room once again. Everyone was exactly the same as I had left them... oblivious and content. The only person who was detected me was Rosalie who pointed for me to come to her. She sat in a large couch in a private area since she was unable to really move around. I went to her and sat down.

"You look tense," she commented. I only nodded. She seemed to understand every time anybody started to hiver over me she shooed them away. I really loved her for that...

The ball ended not so long after that. Alice was fuming because she wanted me and Edward to have our first dance tonight. Esme had to calm her down though I could see that she was not pleased with him either. After saying my goodbyes, Alice and I headed off to my room. She helped me change into my night gown then unpinned my hair.

"Thank you Alice," I said whole-heartedly. She really meant for me to have a good time, even though that was not possible. I hugged her.

"Anytime... But I know you were not happy," the surprise was evident in my eyes, "Rest for now, we shall talk about this tomorrow. Good night, Bella!" She was such a great sister; nothing escaped her. She left quietly and I lay in my bed.

Everything started to come back to me then and the guilt started to take over. _What have I done? _ I closed my eyes in a false slumber letting the guilt and shame engulf me. After what seemed to be hours the door opened and he came. I pretended not to notice keeping my eyes closed. I clearly felt the bed dip on next to me as he lay down. I knew that he knew I was awake.

"I do care for my family," His murmured in agony; my guilt increased.

I spoke in a gentle manner, "Then you should let them see that before tis' too late." I turned away from him and slowly drifted to unconsciousness.

**EPOV **

Tis' already too late...

**PHEW! This was a long one... I hope you guys are happy ;) **

**Now you guys want the next chapter (trust me you do!) but I want reviews!**

**I know I have some faithful reviewers and I also know that A LOT people reading my Fan Fiction and NOT reviewing! Come on guys I want at least 100 reviews to my name! At least... **

**Question: What kind of situation do you want Edward and Bella to be in? (Maybe it will show up!)**

**Until then...**

**ISHEY-EJ**


	7. What Happens Now

**Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight**

**Okay I'm sorry I'm sorry! I know this update is SUPER late but there was too much going on in my life and I JUST couldn't do it! **

**Anyways I want to say a huge THANK YOU to the people who reviewed. I cannot believe the response I got for the last chapter. UN-FREAKING-BELIEVABLE! I have more than 100 reviews now and it's all thanks to you! I would also like welcome new readers, I'm really glad my FF is getting such a reaction! **

**A big time THANK YOU to twilight15 and gktrina who have helped me so much with everything! They are the sweetest people EVER! I welcome cherry blossom to the team of YAMLN. She is my new beta and mentor! **

**Thanks to Ms. Rason I have a banner for my FF. It is awesome! I also have a thread which is going every smoothly! Please check them out the links are on my profile.**

**Reviews make me write faster ;)**

**Here it is! (FINALLY) **

Chapter 7- What Happens Now

"You are enlightening this to us now!" I should have known this was a terrible idea and Alice's screeching did not help. Rosalie wore a very satisfied and smug grin... then she started to clap. I hung my head into my hands feeling more guilty and embarrassed then before. I had thought that telling Alice and Rose what had happened at the night of the ball would ease my distress but that clearly is not the case.

It has been a week since the ball or more importantly my vocal outburst at Edward... and it has been a week of torture. Edward and I have not uttered a word to each other since that fateful night, and with every unspoken thought and glare my guilt has only increased. We cannot even stand to be in the same room with each other and we have to sleep in the same bed; I felt like I was being smothered. Alice and Rosalie had obviously noticed and were worried. Now that I had explained everything to them, their worry was replaced by pride and it made me feel worse.

"I cannot even look at him in the eyes!" I exclaimed. _Why are they smiling? _I looked at Rose who lay on the picnic blanket rubbing her belly softly.

Today Esme insisted that everyone go for an outing. Emmett, Jasper and Edward went hunting, while Alice, Rosalie and I stayed behind and set up the picnic area and lunch. I recently realized that the Cullen's owned many acres of land half of which was unoccupied. That is where we decided to come today, unoccupied Cullen land. It was beautiful to say the least. We sat atop a large hill covered by trees but it had a salient view of a wonderful waterfall.

I watched the waterfall silently until Rosalie spoke, "I say, he deserved every word you said to him!"

"I thought the same at that moment..." I muttered, "But that is not true and I feel wretched about it."

"Bella..." Alice touched my face in a soothing manner; there was no trace of humour in her eyes.

I reached up and moved her hand, "No, Alice, I should have kept a calm demeanour..." Alice put her hands tightly on my shoulders, "Bella, you did nothing wrong. My fool of a brother acted childishly and you put him to his senses. Have you realized that he has not fought with Esme or Carlisle since that night? Maybe you do not see the difference but we certainly do. Yes, he is still too pig-headed to apologize to you, but time will soon change that. It will change him and it's only happening because of you!"

"Alice, I am not a saint," I scoffed. They had too much faith in me. _What change could I_ possibly_ bring in him? _

"That may be true... but he will soon realize that you and him are..." Alice was now daydreaming; my mind barely registered her words. Rose cut her off, sensing the same thing I was...

"He will not treat Bella any differently than he is treating her now even if he does change." Rose's voice had a hard edge as she watched me. I did not recognize why, but Rosalie really seemed to dislike Edward. She never tried to cover up his faults like Alice sometimes did. Instead she told the hard, cold truth without sounding remorseful. It was because of her blatant attitude towards him that I decided to voice my issues.

"I wish I knew why he is so distant towards me. I do not expect a real relationship of course, but he should know that we are in this situation together; we are both going through a tough time—" I stopped when I saw Alice and Rosalie give each other knowing looks. They were having a silent conversation, they were hiding something. "_Is_ there something I should know about?"

Alice shook her head very inconspicuously, but I noticed. "Alice? What is it?"

Why would she try to hide something, is it that dreadful? I looked at Rosalie, "Rose, please tell me. Do I not deserve to know? I cannot live another second with him acting so harsh or with my guilt..." I pleaded with my tears pricking my eyes.

Rosalie face softened, "She should know. He will not make it easier for her." She looked at Alice who sighed and her shrugged shoulders. They both looked at my face intently before Rosalie opened her mouth to speak. I had a feeling that she was a significant part of this tale...

"Before I say—" Rosalie broke off before she even began. Her eyes were trained on something behind me. I turned just as Alice did and we saw the men come out the forest line and towards us. I looked back at Rosalie who kept her expression blank. I sighed, knowing that this conversation will have to wait until later. Looking down at the blue and white blanket we sat upon, I waited for the men to approach us.

I could hear Emmett's loud laughter as they neared. From what I could tell he was teasing Edward _again._

"Is that a nay, Eddie Boy?" Emmett asked, barely concealing his glee. I did not turn my head to see Edward's reaction. It could not have been noble because I heard Jasper step in to the conversation to prevent a fight. I was really starting to get a little fond of him.

"Em, are you not hungry?" Jasper tried to distract him but apparently Emmett was a bit too much amused.

"Well, is Eddie here hungry? I am sure our Bella would not mind satisfying his _hunger_!" Emmett started to laugh uncontrollably. I sighed yet again; this was not the first time Emmett tried to embarrass us, and I am sure 'tis not to be the last.

"Darling, your child is starving and you care for what Edward has to say?" Rosalie called out. _Bless her._

It did not take long for Emmett to quiet down, but I knew that his attacks would not cease. Jasper sat first, between Alice and me. He gave me a sweet smile as Alice glared at him. They were quite adorable together, pretending to hate each other when feeling the complete opposite. Jasper looked at Alice with an innocent face; I giggled and Alice's scowl grew more pronounced.

"Shall we eat?" Jasper asked turning back to me; he winked.

"Yes, as soon as Eddie boy stops staring at Bella," I froze but otherwise did not comment. From the corner of my eye, I could see Edward shift his weight so his back was turned towards me. _Was he staring? _

I ignored the snickers and reached for the baskets of food. It seemed to divert everyone's attention. Alice and I handed out the food trying not to notice how Edward did not accept anything from me. She gave me a sympathetic smile each time then proceeded to give him what he refused to take from me. Everyone ate in silence.

"How do you like London, so far, Bella?" Jasper's voice was casual and light.

I looked at him and felt a little uncomfortable being at the center of attention, "I really cannot say. I have not seen much of London."

Jasper smiled then looked expectantly at Edward as if he was about to say something. When he did not even acknowledge that we had spoken, Jasper turned to face me again, "Well, I am sure Miss Cullen would not mind showing you around."

I gave him a confused mien, not sure who he was talking about. Then it dawned on me when I saw Alice's annoyed gaze. I giggled, "Would you mind, Alice?"

She smiled overly sweet at me, "Of course I do not mind! I am sure _Mister Hale _would love to escort us as well. Would you not?" Alice looked at Jasper now with a wicked smirk.

"_I_ am sure that Bella would end up escorting you both… as a chaperone!" Rosalie said with a bored look on her face. I tried to keep my laughter at bay when Jasper and Alice's faces turned red. But Emmett was Emmett; he laughed as loudly as possible.

"That is why I fell in love with you, sugar!" He howled with laughter until Rose joined in. Then I covered my mouth with my hand, as a titter escaped my lips.

"I think 'tis time we should head home." I looked up at the sudden sound of Edward's voice.

"Oh, Eddie Boy, are you in a hurry?" Emmett's whole expression indicated where his thoughts were headed. Edward glowered; I could tell his anger was rising. I looked at Alice who had a somewhat worried expression on her face.

"Yes, we should be getting home." Alice started to quickly clean up. I helped her pack away the uneaten food and stood up.

Emmett, Rose and Alice started towards the carriages. Emmett was mumbling under his breath making Alice and Rose grin widely. I stood there awkwardly between Edward and Jasper. Edward had his back turned to me while Jasper stared at him, waiting. Then he sighed, "May I escort you to the carriage, Madame?" I smiled at his thoughtfulness and nodded.

I held his extended arm taking a step forward. Suddenly I heard an aggravated huff and felt someone rush past us. I stared after him. What had I done now?

"What has happened to him?" Jasper had an incredulous look on his face, "He is not the Edward I used to know." I looked up at him in surprise. _What did he mean by that? _

Sensing my confused gaze, Jasper turned to smile sadly at me. "Edward has been one of my truest friends since quite a long time…" he explained. I was intrigued, "We first met at the boarding school in Cambridge, almost 8 years ago and ever since then we have been the best of friends. It was a colossal surprise for us to find our siblings about to be married to each other when we came home. But we were both happy, especially Edward since he and—" Jasper stopped suddenly not meeting my eyes. I had a feeling he said more than he planned to, but at that moment I did not care what he was about to say. All I could think of was the fact that Edward was _different… _it is safe to say he was happy before I came along in his life. I realized that there was so much about his life, and him, that I did not know about. _Well, what did you expect? _I berated myself. I do not know anything about him!

I quickly decided to change the subject, so without thinking I asked, "Do you love her?"

He knew exactly who I was talking about, "Very much," he sighed. I looked up at him and saw the slight smile on his lips that appeared every time he spoke about Alice.

"Then why do you pretend otherwise?" I questioned boldly. I was surprised that he even answered my first question.

He glanced down at my curious face and his eyes saddened. He looked unsure and a bit of fear showed in his face. He shook his head and I instantly knew.

"She loves you too, Jasper! Do not ever doubt that! I know that I have only been in the family for a little while but I _know_ Alice. She loves you!" I said it all too quickly but firmly.

Jasper's expression was unreadable for about a minute then slowly his face lit up. "She loves me? Then why does she seem so annoyed?"

I laughed, "I am quite sure that is because you refer to her as _Miss Cullen_. She is the only one that you are so formal to, and as Alice, she will worry indeed!"

Jasper's flabbergasted expression had me laughing even harder. "But I was… I was trying to be a… gentleman!" he stammered.

"Yes, I am sure that you were, but to Alice it seemed that you were not comfortable around her…" I said calming down, "Everyone adores you, Jasper, and everybody will be more than pleased for you and Alice."

He thought over my words before nodding his head. "Talk to Carlisle," I stated with confidence.

He was surprised at my words at first then he chuckled, "She will have my head!"

I snickered, knowing how true his words were, "Yes, but she will not say no."

We reached the carriages then and he turned me to face him. He smiled sweetly, "Thank you, Bella." He kissed my cheek, "Well am I off to war again!"

I laughed loudly. _Alice is no less than war! _There was an unexpected sound of someone pointedly clearing their throat from right beside us; I jumped. My eyes were suddenly locked with a pair of those unbelievable, emerald ones; the very ones that I managed to avoid for over a week now.

"Edward," Jasper greeted watching us warily, "Shall we be seated?"

I barely heard what Jasper had said as I was wholly consumed by Edward's gaze. He looked dazed; there was wonder in his eyes. His entire expression was different than I had ever seen before. He watched me, completely frozen. He would not look away and I could not look away-awestruck. There was an absorbing charge in the air. _What was happening? _

"We have to go…" Jasper put a hand on Edward's shoulder making him jump. The connection broke and I felt exposed. I lowered my eyes with my heart beating perilously fast. I quickly mumbled an 'excuse me' and turned to the carriage at the front, where Alice and Rose waited.

The rest of the day passed in a blur. Esme and Carlisle were invited to dinner by Carlisle's friend. Rosalie started to feel fatigued so Alice and I let her rest. We went up to the parlour and did nothing of consequence. Alice mostly complained about Jasper's _rude and indifferent _behaviour while I listened with patience. Though she was clearly upset, I was happy for her because she had someone who loved her dearly. I truly hoped Jasper who take my advice and talk to Carlisle… it was only a matter of time.

"Alice I am feeling very weary. I should sleep now…" I cut Alice off mid-rant and gave her an apologetic look. She smiled shaking her head, "Of course, you must be exhausted!"

I got up and hugged her goodnight. I declined when she offered to help me dress for the night. She was starting to dress me up more and more at night and I could only guess her reasons behind it. I quietly made my way through the house stopping only when I reached the door. I sighed. Edward and I had a silent agreement on how we should evade each other during the night. I would go to bed first and he would slip in after I was asleep; every time I would feel guilty and unwanted. I turned the knob and ambled inside, but I halted as soon as I saw Edward sitting on the bed with his head in his hands. I stood there for what felt like an eternity, staring at him. _Why was he here now? What does he want? _My breathing increased and suddenly Edward's head snapped up. He blinked at me twice before putting his head back in his hands.

"You can sleep," his voice was rough and mumbled, "I will not be a bother."

I stood there looking at his hunched form. He kept rubbing his eyes and tugging at his hair. Something was wrong. I did not move from my spot and dared to speak, "Are— are you alright?" my voice was tentative but I kept a steady stance.

He did not raise his head again, but I could visibly hear the venom in his tone, " 'Tis none of your concern…" _I have heard that before__._"If you wish to sleep then _sleep_."

I sighed; there was no arguing with such a stubborn man. Even though I was curious about what caused his sudden appearance, I quietly went over to the bed and lay down without saying anything further or changing my gown. I rolled over to my side, facing away from him, and closed my eyes…

A little while later I felt the dip as Edward lay on the bed as well. I abruptly felt tense. This was the first time Edward and I lay in bed together without one of us being asleep. I took deep breaths trying to calm myself and slowly started to drift to unconsciousness…

All of a sudden there was a loud bang and Edward sat up coughing hysterically. At first I was in shock and did not move but then his coughing got worse; he was almost heaving. I sat up swiftly and turned to him.

"Edward! Edward, what is wrong?" I sounded high- pitched but my worry was clear. He did not answer still coughing uncontrollably. Instinctively, I put my hand on his back and rubbed it slightly. He shook my hand off and hastily jumped out of bed, then ran to the bathroom. _Oh, Dear Lord, what is happening? _

I rushed after him and almost tripped on the train of my gown. I knocked on the bathroom door loudly, "Edward is everything alright? Edward!" I could hear him spew noisily inside. "Edward, I am coming in!" I turned the knob strode in before he could object.

The sight of him broke my heart. His face was paler than anyone I had ever seen. There were beads of sweat on his forehead, his eyes were watery, his lips chapped; the only thing that looked normal was his wildly disarrayed hair. What really tore at my heart was seeing him curled up in a ball on the ground. Oh Lord, he was awfully ill! Without thinking of my actions, I walked to him.

"Oh dear," I whispered, and crouched down beside him. I reached for him again but hesitated remembering his previous reaction.

"Stay away," he croaked. I dropped my hand immediately and looked. He will never know how much those words hurt me.

"I shan't leave you in this state. You are ill. Let me help you," I spoke in a soothing manner.

"I do not need any favours from _you_!" He spit out the last words like it was a profanity. Then, too fast, he stood up swaying a little. "You are nothing to me! And I _know_ that this fact is mutual!"

I flinched; he was reminding of what I had said to him at the night of the ball. Then I stood up as well. Anger took my guilt's place, this was not _my _fault! The situation we are in is out of my hands, it is _not_ my fault! He was towering over me even when I was on my feet, yet I held my ground and glared up at him.

"You are not well and I am _not_ doing you any favours! I am your wife, 'tis my duty to care for you, and unlike _you_ I will not ignore it!" I scowled openly at him. He looked angry and taken aback but I could see his tiredness underneath it all. _Ugh, I cannot just stand here watching him get worse, _I thought bitterly. I turned my back to him and walked further into the bathroom. Seeing the face towels I was looking for, I grabbed one and dipped it into a bucket of water. I wrung it out and turned to face Edward again. He was watching with a controlled expression. I held up the towel to him.

"Wipe your face with this." I ordered confidently. I knew I was not far from crossing the line.

"No." He crossed his arms and narrowed his eyes. He was challenging me yet again.

"Yes," I gritted my teeth and stepped closer to him, "You will do as I say."

He cocked his eyebrow and gave me a hostile smile, "_You_ have no such power over me; I am not a child."

"Then stop acting like one!" I exclaimed. If he thought he was the only one who had to fair with this injustice then he was wrong. "If you want nothing to do with me then that is _fine_! But remember this, _I _am bound to you and I have no other option. Why are you making this difficult for me?" He stared at me and I stared back. His whole stance screamed of how ill he was but he did not move. He was so stubborn! He stared directly at me; his gaze too intense. I sighed then looked down. He will not make this easier for us – for me.

Then, out of nowhere he was standing right in front of me. I gasped slightly as he touched my hand with his fingers. _What was he doing? _Then he slowly pried the small towel out of my hands and turned away. My heartbeat grew fast. I shook my head and walked to the back of the bathroom where I knew the medicine was kept. I grabbed the nausea syrup and a tiny cup.

Edward was right where I had left him; standing in the middle of the bathroom turned away from me. I took a deep breath, "Edward?" He looked over his shoulder in response, "You need to drink this. It will…"

He suddenly yanked the bottle out of my hands, "I know what tis' for." I only nodded tolerating his temper and rudeness.

"Well, I shall clean up in here. You can rest." I tried to step around him but he blocked my way, standing closer to me than before. I froze again.

"I am perfectly capable of doing that myself," he seethed.

I shook my head, and stared at his chest, "No, you need your rest. Go change your shirt and lay down."

I turned around to walk away when suddenly he grabbed the top of my arm. He turned me back around to face him and pulled me tightly to his chest. I could feel every inch of his body pressed against mine with his glorious face just inches away. I shivered then looked up in surprise and met his eyes. His face was compassionless, "Do not tell me what to do." He voice was low and his breath was hot. My eyes grew wide at his hate filled tone and my breathing picked up. His other hand grabbed my chin as he roughly pulled my face back to his. "Do you understand?" his voice only got colder. He was scaring me, that much was a fact, but I was not going to let it show.

"Do Not Touch Me," I hissed. I was angry. I was wounded. I was miserable. But in no way, will I let Edward Cullen push me down even further. I glared up at him showing my rage.

As soon as he heard the words come out of my mouth his expression completely changed. There was nothing but pure shock and _hurt_ on his face. His mouth fell open slightly and his breath came out in a strangled gasp. He released his grip on me immediately. He stepped back and lowered his head, he looked like a child being chastised. He turned without a word or an apology and left the bathroom.

Right after he stepped out I felt tears trickle down my face; I realised I was shaking. _Why was he like this? _I was doing everything I could to make our lives tranquil but he seemed dead-set against it.

After taking a moment to calm down, I quickly wiped the floors clean and picked up an empty bucket. I stepped out the bathroom and completely immobilised at the sight before me. There he stood with his back turned to me and his chemise on the floor. I openly gaped at him… I could see the width of his waist, the broadness of his shoulders, and every line on his back consumed me. He was so _beautiful_ that my heart could not help but ache. It proved that I was not fit to be his wife; that he did me a favour by marrying me. He was wealthy, respected and handsome; he could have had anyone he desired. I could never repay him, no matter how unbearably cruel he was to me. _O__h__, how pathetic my life turned out to be! _I thought _I am married to a man who would never want me! _

I took a shuddering breath and stepped forward making the floor boards creak. I saw Edward tense up and quickly put on his shirt. Then he slowly turned around to face me, staring at my face with an odd expression.

"Are you feeling better?" I asked in a small voice; my anger was replaced with despair. Edward nodded solemnly. I stared at his face for another second and saw right through his façade. The extra paleness of his skin and his droopy eyes proved that he was anything but better.

"You need to rest—" I cut off awkwardly becoming conscious of the fact that I told him what to do again. Edward did not seem to be aware of my slip up and continued to stare at my face as if I did not say a word. "Edward?" I questioned, taking a step closer.

He jumped slightly, and looked disconcerted. He shook his head and closed his eyes tightly. At first I thought he was refusing to sleep, but then he spoke quietly, "Yes, I… should rest." He went to lie on the bed and I followed him. I put the bucket on his side. He watched me, confused at what I was doing. I gave him a sheepish look, "In case, you feel sick again."

His eyes widened a bit and he seemed a little embarrassed but otherwise nodded. I sighed, nodding back. I gave him one last glance before walking over to my side of the bed and lying down. My thoughts and feelings were everywhere at that moment. Edward… there was something about him that kept me from completely hating him. He was rude, cruel and mean yet I could not find it in myself to detest him. I sighed again.

I closed my eyes and tried to find a sleep that would never come. I rolled over, without a conscious thought, towards Edward. We were just inches away, our arms almost brushing. I could feel him breathing deeply; my heartbeat stuttered. I stayed still, not even moving my hand to remove the tickling tendril of my hair that was on my face. With my breathing erratic, I pretended to sleep.

It could not have been more than an hour later, when I heard Edward moan then shudder dramatically. I ignored him at first, but then he did it again… and then rolled closer to me. My eyes shot open as he snuggeld into my side. His skin was hot and his breath was burning.

"Edward?" I whispered. The only response I received was him shivering again. This time his teeth chattered too. Hesitating, at first, I slowly put the back of hand to his forehead. Yes, his fever had gotten worse. Another shudder rippled through him. Something tugged at my heart at the sight of him. Suddenly he put his arm around me and pulled me closer, laying his head in the crook of my neck. I could feeling the heat of his breath as he sighed loudly causing me to shiver at the sensation. My breathing picked up.

I gulped, "Edward, are you alright?"

I did not know if he was asleep; I rather he was. What must be going through his head right now if he was conscious made me anxious. He quivered again. "I am cold, Bella." He whispered. _He is awake! _My heart stopped. "I am cold," he said again but this time it was much quieter. I took a deep breath and moved my head so I could his see face; his eyes were closed. I felt tears in my eyes again. _He would only touch me if he is unconscious, how could I think otherwise? _I tried to move away from him, pushing at his shoulder. But he held on tighter, pulling me to him with both his arms.

"Edward." I said firmly, pushing his shoulders again. He tugged against me once more and ceased my protests; my face was now buried in _his _neck. He held me quietly. I did not know what was happening but I knew I had to get away from him. The way I fit perfectly into his arms and how I felt _safe _scared me to no end. I laid there rigidly not knowing what else to do.

He shivered again and he cuddled even closer. His fever was growing by the second; I had to comfort him somehow. I did not know what was to happen in the morning but right now I was going to do what any human being would do. Hesitantly, I slowly wrapped my arms around him. I rubbed his back with my right hand while my left played with his hair. I felt his muscles loosen as his body eased against mine. Then I heard him whimper; it broke my heart.

"Shhhh," I soothed, "You are fine." I relaxed a little when I heard his breathing deepen. He was fast asleep. I closed my eyes hoping that sleep would come…

The next thing I heard was a low oath being said in my ear then the loud banging of the door being shut…

**Ok I realllyyyy did not want to end it here! I actually had the BEST ending for this but that would have taken me another day to write. Sorry guys I've been sick and super busy so if this chapter sucks don't hate me too much. **

**Please REVIEW! **

**Ishey-EJ **


	8. What Happens Now Repost

**Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight**

**Here it is! **

Chapter 7- What Happens Now

"You are enlightening this to us now!" I should have known this was a terrible idea and Alice's screeching did not help. Rosalie wore a very satisfied and smug grin... then she started to clap. I hung my head into my hands feeling more guilty and embarrassed then before. I had thought that telling Alice and Rose what had happened at the night of the ball would ease my distress but that clearly is not the case.

It has been a week since the ball or more importantly my vocal outburst at Edward... and it has been a week of torture. Edward and I have not uttered a word to each other since that fateful night, and with every unspoken thought and glare my guilt has only increased. We cannot even stand to be in the same room as with each other and we have to sleep in the same bed; I felt like I was being smothered. Alice and Rosalie had obviously noticed and were worried. Now that I had explained everything to them, their worry was replaced by pride and it made me feel worse.

"I cannot even look at him in the eyes!" I exclaimed. _Why are they smiling? _I looked at Rose who lay on the picnic blanket rubbing her belly softly.

Today Esme insisted that everyone go for an outing. Emmet, Jasper and Edward went hunting, while Alice, Rosalie and I stayed behind and set up the picnic area and lunch. I recently realized that the Cullen's owned many acres of land half of which was unoccupied. That is where we decided to come today, unoccupied Cullen land. It was beautiful to say the least. We sat atop a large hill covered by trees but it had a salient view of a wonderful waterfall.

I watched the waterfall silently until Rosalie spoke, "I say, he deserved every word you said to him!"

"I thought the same at that moment..." I muttered, "But that is not true and I feel wretched about it."

"Bella..." Alice touched my face in a soothing manner; there was no trace of humour in her eyes.

I reached up and moved her hand, "No, Alice, I should have kept a calm demeanour..." Alice put her hands tightly on my shoulders, "Bella, you did nothing wrong. My fool of a brother acted childishly and you put him to his senses. Have you realized that he has not fought with Esme or Carlisle since that night? Maybe you do not see the difference but we certainly do. Yes, he is still too pig-headed to apologize to you, but time will soon change that. It will change him and it's only happening because of you!"

"Alice, I am not a saint," I scoffed. They had too much faith in me. _What change could I_ possibly_ bring in him? _

"That may be true... but he will soon realize that you and him are..." Alice was now daydreaming; my mind barely registered her words. Rose cut her off, sensing the same thing I was...

"He will not treat Bella any differently than he is treating her now even if he does change." Rose's voice had a hard edge as she watched me. I did not recognize why, but Rosalie really seemed to dislike Edward. She never tried to cover up his faults like Alice sometimes did. Instead she told the hard, cold truth without sounding remorseful. It was because of her blatant attitude towards him that I decided to voice my issues.

"I wish I knew why he is so distant towards me. I do not expect a real relationship, of course, but he should know that we are in this situation together; we are both going through a tough time—" I stopped when I saw Alice and Rosalie give each other knowing looks. They were having a silent conversation, they were hiding something. "_Is_ there something I should know about?"

Alice shook her head very inconspicuously, but I noticed. "Alice? What is it?"

Why would she try to hide something, is it that dreadful? I looked at Rosalie, "Rose, please tell me. Do I not deserve to know? I cannot live another second with him acting so harsh or with my guilt..." I pleaded with my tears pricking my eyes.

Rosalie face softened, "She should know. He will not make it easier for her." She looked at Alice who sighed and her shrugged shoulders. They both looked at my face intently before Rosalie opened her mouth to speak. I had a feeling that she was a significant part of this tale...

"Before I say—" Rosalie broke off before she even began. Her eyes were trained on something behind me. I turned just as Alice did and we saw the men come out the forest line and towards us. I looked back at Rosalie who kept her expression blank. I sighed, knowing that this conversation will have to wait until later. Looking down at the blue and white blanket we sat upon, I waited for the men to approach us.

I could hear Emmett's loud laughter as they neared. From what I could tell he was teasing Edward _again._

"Is that a nay, Eddie Boy?" Emmett asked, barely concealing his glee. I did not turn my head to see Edward's reaction. It could not have been noble because I heard Jasper step in to the conversation to prevent a fight. I was really starting to get a little fond of him.

"Em, are you not hungry?" Jasper tried to distract him but apparently Emmett was a bit too much amused.

"Well, is Eddie here hungry? I am sure our Bella would not mind satisfying his _hunger_!" Emmett started to laugh uncontrollably. I sighed yet again; this was not the first time Emmett tried to embarrass us, and I am sure 'tis not to be the last.

"Darling, your child is starving and you care for what Edward has to say?" Rosalie called out. _Bless her._

It did not take long for Emmett to quiet down, but I knew that his attacks would not cease. Jasper sat first, between Alice and me. He gave me a sweet smile as Alice glared at him. They were quite adorable together, pretending to hate each other when feeling the complete opposite. Jasper looked at Alice with an innocent face; I giggled and Alice's scowl grew more pronounced.

"Shall we eat?" Jasper asked turning back to me; he winked.

"Yes, as soon as Eddie boy stops staring at Bella," I froze but otherwise did not comment. From the corner of my eye, I could see Edward shift his weight so his back was turned towards me. _Was he staring? _

I ignored the snickers and reached for the baskets of food. It seemed to divert everyone's attention. Alice and I handed out the food trying not to notice how Edward did not accept anything from me. She gave me a sympathetic smile each time then proceeded to give him what he refused to take from me. Everyone ate in silence.

"How do you like London, so far, Bella?" Jasper's voice was casual and light.

I looked at him and felt a little uncomfortable being the center of attention, "I really cannot say. I have not seen much of London."

Jasper smiled then looked expectantly at Edward as if he was about to say something. When he did not even acknowledge that we had spoken, Jasper turned to face me again, "Well, I am sure Miss Cullen would not mind showing you around."

I gave him a confused mien, not sure who he was talking about. Then it dawned on me when I saw Alice's annoyed gaze. I giggled, "Would you mind, Alice?"

She smiled overly sweet at me, "Of course I do not mind! I am sure _Mister Hale _would love to escort us as well. Would you not?" Alice looked at Jasper now with a wicked smirk.

"_I_ am sure that Bella would end up escorting you both… as a chaperone." Rosalie said with a bored look on her face. I tried to keep my laughter at bay when Jasper and Alice's faces turned red. But Emmett was Emmett; he laughed as loudly as possible.

"That is why I fell in love with you, sugar!" He howled with laughter until Rose joined in. Then I covered my mouth with my hand, as a titter escaped my lips.

"I think 'tis time we should head home." I looked up at the sudden sound of Edward's voice.

"Oh, Eddie Boy, are you in a hurry?" Emmett's whole expression indicated where his thoughts were headed. Edward glowered; I could tell his anger was rising. I looked at Alice who had a somewhat worried expression on her face.

"Yes, we should be getting home." Alice started to quickly clean up. I helped her pack away the uneaten food and stood up.

Emmett, Rose and Alice started towards the carriages. Emmett was mumbling under his breath making Alice and Rose grin widely. I stood there awkwardly between Edward and Jasper. Edward had his back turned to me while Jasper stared at him, waiting. Then he sighed, "May I escort you to the carriage, Madame?" I smiled at his thoughtfulness and nodded.

I held his extended arm taking a step forward. Suddenly I heard an aggravated huff and felt someone rush past us. I stared after him. What had I done now?

"What has happened to him?" Jasper had an incredulous look on his face, "He is not the Edward I used to know." I looked up at him in surprise. _What did he mean by that? _

Sensing my confused gaze, Jasper turned to smile sadly at me. "Edward has been one of my truest friends since quite a long time…" he explained. I was intrigued, "We first met at the boarding school in Cambridge, almost 8 years ago and ever since then we have been the best of friends. It was a colossal surprise for us to find our siblings about to be married to each other when we came home. But we were both happy, especially Edward since he and—" Jasper stopped suddenly not meeting my eyes. I had a feeling he said more than he planned to, but at that moment I did not care what he was about to say. All I could think of was the fact that Edward was _different… _it is safe to say he was happy before I came along in his life. I realized that there was so much about his life, and him, that I did not know about. _Well, what did you expect? _I berated myself. I do not know anything about him!

I quickly decided to change the subject, so without thinking I asked, "Do you love her?"

He knew exactly who I was talking about, "Very much," he sighed. I looked up at him and saw the slight smile on his lips that appeared every time he spoke about Alice.

"Then why do you pretend otherwise?" I questioned boldly. I was surprised that he even answered my first question.

He glanced down at my curious face and his eyes saddened. He looked unsure with and a bit of fear showed in his face. He shook his head and I instantly knew.

"She loves you too, Jasper! Do not ever doubt that! I know that I have only been in the family for a little while but I _know_ Alice. She loves you!" I said it all too quickly but firmly.

Jasper's expression was unreadable for about a minute then slowly his face lit up. "She loves me? Then why does she seem so annoyed?"

I laughed, "I am quite sure that is because you refer to her as _Miss Cullen_. She is the only one that you are so formal to, and as Alice, she will worry indeed!"

Jasper's flabbergasted expression had me laughing even harder. "But I was… I was trying to be a… gentleman!" he stammered.

"Yes, I am sure that you were, but to Alice it seemed that you were not comfortable around her…" I said calming down, "Everyone adores you, Jasper, and everybody will be more than pleased for you and Alice."

He thought over my words before nodding his head. "Talk to Carlisle," I stated with confidence.

He was surprised at my words at first then he chuckled, "She will have my head!"

I snickered, knowing how true his words were, "Yes, but she will not say no."

We reached the carriages then and he turned me to face him. He smiled sweetly, "Thank you, Bella." He kissed my cheek, "Well am I off to war again!"

I laughed loudly. _Alice is no less than war! _There was an unexpected sound of someone pointedly clearing their throat from right beside us; I jumped. My eyes were suddenly locked with a pair of those unbelievable, emerald ones; the very ones that I managed to avoid for over a week now.

"Edward," Jasper greeted watching us warily, "Shall we be seated?"

I barely heard what Jasper had said as I was wholly consumed by Edward's gaze. He looked dazed; there was wonder in his eyes. His entire expression was different than I had ever seen before. He watched me, completely frozen. He would not look away and I could not look away-awestruck. There was an absorbing charge in the air. _What was happening? _

"We have to go…" Jasper put a hand on Edward's shoulder making him jump. The connection broke and I felt exposed. I lowered my eyes with my heart beating perilously fast. I quickly mumbled an 'excuse me' and turned to the carriage at the front, where Alice and Rose waited.

The rest of the day passed in a blur. Esme and Carlisle were invited to dinner by Carlisle's friend. Rosalie started to feel fatigued so Alice and I let her rest. We went going up to the parlour and did nothing of consequence. Alice mostly complained about Jasper's _rude and indifferent _behaviour while I listened with patience. Though she was clearly upset, I was happy for her because she had someone who loved her dearly. I truly hoped Jasper who take my advice and talk to Carlisle… it was only a matter of time.

"Alice I am feeling very weary. I should sleep now…" I cut Alice off mid-rant and gave her an apologetic look. She smiled shaking her head, "Of course, you must be exhausted!"

I got up and hugged her goodnight. I declined when she offered to help me dress for the night. She was starting to dress me up more and more at night and I could only guess her reasons behind it. I quietly made my way through the house stopping only when I reached the door. I sighed. Edward and I had a silent agreement on how we should evade each other during the night. I would go to bed first and he would slip in after I was asleep; every time I would feel guilty and unwanted. I turned the knob and ambled inside, but I halted as soon as I saw Edward sitting on the bed with his head in his hands. I stood there for what felt like an eternity, staring at him. _Why was he here now? What does he want? _My breathing increased and suddenly Edward's head snapped up. He blinked at me twice before putting his head back in his hands.

"You can sleep," his voice was rough and mumbled, "I will not be a bother."

I stood there looking at his hunched form. He kept rubbing his eyes and tugging at his hair. Something was wrong. I did not move from my spot and dared to speak, "Are— are you alright?" my voice was tentative but I kept a steady stance.

He did not raise his head again, but I could visibly hear the venom in his tone, " 'Tis none of your concern…" _I have heard that before__._"If you wish to sleep then _sleep_."

I sighed; there was no arguing with such a stubborn man. Even though I was curious about what caused his sudden appearance, I quietly went over to the bed and lay down without saying anything further or changing my gown. I rolled over to my side, facing away from him, and closed my eyes…

A little while later I felt the dip as Edward lay on the bed as well. I abruptly felt tense. This was the first time Edward and I lay in bed together without one of us being asleep. I took deep breaths trying to calm myself and slowly started to drift to unconsciousness…

All of a sudden there was a loud bang and Edward sat up coughing hysterically. At first I was in shock and did not move but then his coughing got worse; he was almost heaving. I sat up swiftly and turned to him.

"Edward! Edward, what is wrong?" I sounded high- pitched but my worry was clear. He did not answer still coughing uncontrollably. Instinctively, I put my hand on his back and rubbed it slightly. He shook my hand off and hastily jumped out of bed, then ran to the bathroom. _Oh, Dear Lord, what is happening? _

I rushed after him and almost tripped on the train of my gown. I knocked on the bathroom door loudly, "Edward is everything alright? Edward!" I could hear him spew noisily inside. "Edward, I am coming in!" I turned the knob strode in before he could object.

The sight of him broke my heart. His face was paler than anyone I had ever seen. There were beads of sweat on his forehead, his eyes were watery, his lips chapped; the only thing that looked normal was his wildly disarrayed hair. What really tore at my heart was seeing him curled up in a ball on the ground. Oh Lord, he was awfully ill! Without thinking of my actions, I walked to him.

"Oh dear," I whispered, and crouched down beside him. I reached for him again but hesitated remembering his previous reaction.

"Stay away," he croaked. I dropped my hand immediately and looked. He will never know how much those words hurt me.

"I shan't leave you in this state. You are ill. Let me help you," I spoke in a soothing manner.

"I do not need any favours from _you_!" He spit out the last words like it was a profanity. Then, too fast, he stood up swaying a little. "You are nothing to me! And I _know_ that this fact is mutual!"

I flinched; he was reminding of what I had said to him at the night of the ball. Then I stood up as well. Anger took my guilt's place, this was not _my _fault! The situation we are in is out of my hands, it is _not_ my fault! He was towering over me even when I was on my feet, yet I held my ground and glared up at him.

"You are not well and I am _not_ doing you any favours! I am your wife,'tis my duty to care for you, and unlike _you_ I will not ignore it!" I scowled openly at him. He looked angry and taken aback but I could see his tiredness underneath it all. _Ugh, I cannot just stand here watching him get worse, _I thought bitterly. I turned my back to him and walked further into the bathroom. Seeing the face towels I was looking for, I grabbed one and dipped it into a bucket of water. I wrung it out and turned to face Edward again. He was watching with a controlled expression. I held up the towel to him.

"Wipe your face with this." I ordered confidently. I knew I was not far from crossing the line.

"No." He crossed his arms and narrowed his eyes. He was challenging me yet again.

"Yes," I gritted my teeth and stepped closer to him, "You will do as I say."

He cocked his eyebrow and gave me a hostile smile, "_You_ have no such power over me; I am not a child."

"Then stop acting like one!" I exclaimed. If he thought he was the only one who had to fair with this injustice then he was wrong. "If you want nothing to do with me then that is _fine_! But remember this, _I _am bound to you and I have no other option. Why are you making this difficult for me?" He stared at me and I stared back. His whole stance screamed of how ill he was but he did not move. He was so stubborn! He stared directly at me; his gaze too intense. I sighed then looked down. He will not make this easier for us – for me.

Then, out of nowhere he was standing right in front of me. I gasped slightly as he touched my hand with his fingers. _What was he doing? _Then he slowly pried the small towel out of my hands and turned away. My heartbeat grew fast. I shook my head and walked to the back of the bathroom where I knew the medicine was kept. I grabbed the nausea syrup and a tiny cup.

Edward was right where I had left him; standing in the middle of the bathroom turned away from me. I took a deep breath, "Edward?" He looked over his shoulder in response, "You need to drink this. It will…"

He suddenly yanked the bottle out of my hands, "I know what tis' for." I only nodded tolerating his temper and rudeness.

"Well, I shall clean up in here. You can rest." I tried to step around him but he blocked my way, standing closer to me than before. I froze again.

"I am perfectly capable of doing that myself," he seethed.

I shook my head, and stared at his chest, "No, you need your rest. Go change your shirt and lay down."

I turned around to walk away when suddenly he grabbed the top of my arm. He turned me back around to face him and pulled me tightly to his chest. I could feel every inch of his body pressed against mine with his glorious face just inches away. I shivered then looked up in surprise and met his eyes. His face was compassionless, "Do not tell me what to do." He voice was low and his breath was hot. My eyes grew wide at his hate filled tone and my breathing picked up. His other hand grabbed my chin as he roughly pulled my face back to his. "Do you understand?" his voice only got colder. He was scaring me, that much was a fact, but I was not going to let it show.

"Do Not Touch Me," I hissed. I was angry. I was wounded. I was miserable. But in no way, will I let Edward Cullen push me down even further. I glared up at him showing my rage.

As soon as he heard the words come out of my mouth his expression completely changed. There was nothing but pure shock and _hurt_ on his face. His mouth fell open slightly and his breath came out in a strangled gasp. He released his grip on me immediately. He stepped back and lowered his head, he looked like a child being chastised. He turned without a word or an apology and left the bathroom.

Right after he stepped out I felt tears trickle down my face; I realised I was shaking. _Why was he like this? _I was doing everything I could to make our lives tranquil but he seemed dead-set against it.

After taking a moment to calm down, I quickly wiped the floors clean and picked up an empty bucket. I stepped out the bathroom and completely immobilised at the sight before me. There he stood with his back turned to me and his chemise on the floor. I openly gaped at him… I could see the width of his waist, the broadness of his shoulders, and every line on his back consumed me. He was so _beautiful_ that my heart could not help but ache. It proved that I was not fit to be his wife; that he did me a favour by marrying me. He was wealthy, respected and handsome; he could have had anyone he desired. I could never repay him, no matter how unbearably cruel he was to me. _O__h__, how pathetic my life turned out to be! _I thought _I am married to a man who would never want me! _

I took a shuddering breath and stepped forward making the floor boards creak. I saw Edward tense up and quickly put on his shirt. Then he slowly turned around to face me, staring at my face with an odd expression.

"Are you feeling better?" I asked in a small voice; my anger was replaced with despair. Edward nodded solemnly. I stared at his face for another second and saw right through his façade. The extra paleness of his skin and his droopy eyes proved that he was anything but better.

"You need to rest—" I cut off awkwardly becoming conscious of the fact that I told him what to do again. Edward did not seem to be aware of my slip up and continued to stare at my face as if I did not say a word. "Edward?" I questioned, taking a step closer.

He jumped slightly, and looked disconcerted. He shook his head and closed his eyes tightly. At first I thought he was refusing to sleep, but then he spoke quietly, "Yes, I… should rest." He went to lie on the bed and I followed him. I put the bucket on his side. He watched me, confused at what I was doing. I gave him a sheepish look, "In case, you feel sick again."

His eyes widened a bit and he seemed a little embarrassed but otherwise nodded. I sighed, nodding back. I gave him one last glance before walking over to my side of the bed and lying down. My thoughts and feelings were everywhere at that moment. Edward… there was something about him that kept me from completely hating him. He was rude, cruel and mean yet I could not find it in myself to detest him. I sighed again.

I closed my eyes and tried to find a sleep that would never come. I rolled over, without a conscious thought, towards Edward. We were just inches away, our arms almost brushing. I could feel him breathing deeply; my heartbeat stuttered. I stayed still, not even moving my hand to remove the tickling tendril of my hair that was on my face. With my breathing going erratic, I pretended to sleep.

It could not have been more than an hour later, when I heard Edward moan then shudder dramatically. I ignored him at first, but then he did it again… and then rolled closer to me. My eyes shot open as he snuggled into my side. His skin was hot and his breath was burning.

"Edward?" I whispered. The only response I received was him shivering again. This time his teeth chattered too. Hesitating, at first, I slowly put the back of hand to his forehead. Yes, his fever had gotten worse. Another shudder rippled through him. Something tugged at my heart at the sight of him. Suddenly he put his arm around me and pulled me closer, laying his head in the crook of my neck. I could feeling the heat of his breath as he sighed loudly causing me to shiver at the sensation. My breathing picked up.

I gulped, "Edward, are you alright?"

I did not know if he was asleep; I rather he was. What must be going through his head right now if he was conscious made me anxious. He quivered again. "I am cold, Bella." He whispered. _He is awake! _My heart stopped. "I am cold," he said again but this time it was much quieter. I took a deep breath and moved my head so I could his see face; his eyes were closed. I felt tears in my eyes again. _He would only touch me if he is unconscious, how could I think otherwise? _I tried to move away from him, pushing at his shoulder. But he held on tighter, pulling me to him with both his arms.

"Edward." I said firmly, pushing his shoulders again. He tugged against me once more and ceased my protests; my face was now buried in _his _neck. He held me quietly. I did not know what was happening but I knew I had to get away from him. The way I fit perfectly into his arms and how I felt _safe _scared me to no end. I laid there rigidly not knowing what else to do.

He shivered again and he cuddled even closer. His fever was growing by the second; I had to comfort him somehow. I did not know what was to happen in the morning but right now I was going to do what any human being would do. Hesitantly, I slowly wrapped my arms around him. I rubbed his back with my right hand while my left played with his hair. I felt his muscles loosen as his body eased against mine. Then I heard him whimper; it broke my heart.

"Shhhh," I soothed, "You are fine." I relaxed a little when I heard his breathing deepen. He was fast asleep. I closed my eyes hoping that sleep would come…

The next thing I heard was a low oath being said in my ear then the loud banging of the door being shut…

**Ishey-EJ **


	9. His Past

**Disclaimer: Twilight = Not Mine **

**Thank you to the reviewers, the ladies at Twilighted and my beta, cherry blossom, for the support that keeps me writing. **

**For teasers, pics and additional info visit YAMLN's thread at Twilighted **

**/ forum / viewtopic (dot ) php ?f=44&t=11732 **

**Here it is! **

Chapter 8 – His Past

_The next thing I heard was a low oath being said in my ear then the loud banging of the door being shut…_

I slowly opened my eyes thoroughly disconcerted. My arms were numb and my body was exceedingly hot. The room was bright as the sun shone in through the windows. I smiled involuntarily; it was a beautiful day. Unfortunately, though I made a mistake and looked to my left…

Details from last night drifted in my head as I stared at Edward's back. He was sitting up on the bed with the sheets bundled tightly in his fists. I did not know what to say or do. I had a million questions in my mind at that moment. _How does he feel? What is he thinking? How should I act? _But most importantly, _who was at the door?_

I had almost convinced myself to ask him a question when he suddenly turned around and looked me directly in the eyes. His hair looked damped and darker than usual; his clothes were wrinkled. But his expression was smothering. There was a look in his eyes that made me want to pull him closer. I laid there completely dazed. I did not look away and neither did he…

_What was happening? _

The abrupt knock on the door made us both jump. I quickly sat up and tried to fix my gown. My hair had somehow come out of the knot and clips Alice had put in. It flowed freely down my back in big, loose curls. _How had this happened? _As soon as the question registered in my thoughts my eyes flew to Edward. He was still staring at me, for some unknown reason, but this time I could see annoyance on his face. I raised my eyebrows slightly and his expression hardened.

"Come in!" He yelled. I flinched at his hard tone, but otherwise did not acknowledge that he had spoken. I remained quiet and waited for whoever was at the door to come in.

The door pounded open loudly and Emmett Cullen graced us with his presence. He looked well dressed in his long coat and tie. He took large strides into the room and halted right in front of us. I smiled slightly trying not to make the atmosphere awkward, but immediately stopped when I saw the mischievous look on his face.

"Forgive me for barging in before," he turned to Edward and grinned openly, "I did not mean to interrupt what you were doing, Eddie Boy."

I looked at Edward. I knew confusion was written all over my features. _What had Emmett meant by that statement? What _was_ Edward doing? _He did not meet my eyes and that only added to my anxiety. I looked back at Emmett who just crossed his arms and kept on grinning.

"What exactly do you _want,_ Emmett?" Edward's voice was dripping with impatience and annoyance.

"Well, Eddie Boy, if you were not so lost in little Bella's hair then you would remember that Jasper is moving into the new manor today; we are supposed to help him," Emmett stated as a matter-of-factly.

My mouth fell open and an embarrassing wheezing sound came out of my throat. _What did he just say? _Emmett looked as if nothing was out of the ordinary and waited for Edward's response. I slowly turned toward Edward with a certain feeling of dread. But to my surprise, his demeanour had not changed. He still looked impatient and annoyed; the anger I expected was not there.

"I shall be right down." With that he got off the bed and left to change. I stared after him wide-eyed. Then I heard an amused chuckle and my head snapped to Emmett. He only laughed louder and quickly left the room. I sighed and got up as well. I stretched my numb limbs and tied my hair in a knot. I could feel a nice breeze coming through the window. The morning was truly lovely.

I was so lost in my thoughts that the sudden sound of Edward coughing scared me. He was still in the bathroom and he was still sick. I rethought of the night before and how he seemed to accept my help. A little flicker of hope ignited in my heart. _Maybe now we might be on civil terms with each other, _I mused. I heard Edward cough again and I looked back at the door… then hastily I left the room. I had an idea!

I stopped right before I reached the kitchen doors; I had never been inside it. I took an unnecessary deep breath and walked in. The kitchen was fabulous and grand of course, like every other part of the Cullen estate. I strode further in marvelling at the marble countertops and gorgeous dinner sets. Out of nowhere, somebody appeared to my right. I gasped and turned to look at them.

It was the brunette I had seen at the day of the ball. Jessica. That she was a servant was all I knew about her. I had not seen her since our first encounter and at that moment I knew she was not happy to see me again.

"Umm could you prepare some oatmeal for Mr. Cullen?" I said to her even though I planned on making it myself. She appraised me from head to toe noticeably. There was a glint in her eyes that I did not appreciate. It was as if she were planning something that might offend me.

Then, as quick as lightening, her expression completely changed. She smiled a sickly sweet smile at me. "Of course, Madame, whatever you would like!" Her voice was high-pitched and nasally; I did not like it one bit. I nodded and tried to smile in response but it came out as a grimace. She turned and disappeared around the corner. I stared after her with a certain suspicion in the back of my mind. The way she had looked at me was pure evil. She had hid it well but I knew when someone detested me; I have had too many similar encounters like these.

She returned not too later with a tray, "Would you like me to bring it up to Mr. Cullen?" She looked entirely too hopeful.

I shook my head, "That is quite alright, _Jessica, _I shall manage." I took the tray from her and smirked at frozen smile. Then I turned on my heel and walked out of the kitchen swiftly. Being near her made me feel exposed and unsafe… What was it about her?

I climbed the stairs back to my room. I wondered if he would thank me or maybe even apologise. I really hoped he could finally try and be a gentleman. I opened the door discreetly and stepped in. He stood in front of his desk shuffling some papers. I could see him only from the side. He looked clean and fresh in his white suit and brown tie. His hair was damp and only slightly dishevelled. I stared for a little longer than necessary. I could not stop myself; he looked divine.

I deliberately walked towards him and stopped when I was only three feet away. He did not even seem to be aware of my presence. He kept shuffling around with the papers and looked frustrated with their results.

"I had some oatmeal made for you. It will make you feel better." My voice was stoical. I stood there and waited for him to answer.

He did not bother to look at me and answered, "I am not hungry. Take it away."

I felt the chagrin at his words break through my composure. I breathed out all the air from my lungs and put the tray on his desk. "You should eat." He avoided my eyes and fiddled with the papers in hand. He tensed up, though, when he heard the firmness in my voice.

"I said I do not want it." His manner was icy but controlled.

"You need to eat." I was stubborn and his attitude only made me worse.

"No."

"Yes." I pushed the tray towards him and turned around. It was eerily quiet for two seconds, like the calm before the tempest…

Then he erupted, "Did you not hear me?"

I flinched at the volume and starkness of his voice. I looked at the ground and composed myself, "Eat your oatmeal, Edward." My voice was carefully vacant. I did not turn to see his reaction; instead I stepped forward to leave of the room.

My path was suddenly blocked by what could only be described as his perfectly muscled chest. I glared up at him. "Excuse me," I said coldly. His eyes narrowed and his face turned hostile. I sucked in a shuddering breath. I was all at once terrified.

"_You _have no control over me. You are nothing but an insignificant little girl who I was _forced _to marry. Do you know why you are here? Because they all pity you! My sister, my brother, my parents' actions are all out of pity and _only _pity! Open _your _eyes Isabella _Swan_; nobody wanted you… and I shudder to think why." His whole face was livid. His words burned me like venom. I did not know what possessed him to say them to me but at that moment I was sure he knew. I stared up at him speechless. He continued and his temper rose, "I wager that you disgraced your family because why else would your father disown you the way he did? If I have married a whore than I prefer to be oblivious! You are only my wife by law and that means little to me. You do not spark my desire and you will _never_ have a piece of my heart!" My breaths came in short gasps when he finally stopped. We watched each other until he turned back to his paper work. I stood there and stared at nonentity. I felt numb. My heartbeat was slow and my breathing was deep; my mind was completely blank. I felt and saw nothing as I slithered toward the door little by little.

"And take this damned oatmeal!" He shouted again. Then everything happened too fast. I turned back to him just as he picked up the bowl and threw it against the wall to my left. The glass shattered noisily and pieces of it flew toward me. I felt a sudden sharp pain pierce through my skin on my cheek and neck. I calmly breathed in through my mouth then I touched my cheek tenderly with my fingers. I pulled back and smiled humourlessly at the blood I saw there.

I very clearly heard the sharp intake of his breath. Gradually, I raised my eyes and saw his horrified expression. He took a step toward me and I took one back. He reached his hand out with guilt written all over his visage. I did not see that though… all I saw was the man who had made me feel worthless and insulted me ruthlessly. I felt emotions creeping back to me with dominance. Tears pricked my eyes and I turned to the door again. I would not let him see me cry.

"Bella – I – please…" His tone was soft. It was the softness he had ever spoken to me but I cut him off. I did not want to hear another word he had to say. I barely looked over my shoulder and spoke with as much acid in my voice as I could, "If you have _any _humanity left in you, Mr. Cullen, you will not utter another word."

With my head held high and my back straight I walked out of the room. I got to the second floor when the anguish wholly consumed me. Sobs burst forth loudly and uncontrollably. I covered my mouth and let the misery take me. I sat in the corner of the hall and curled up into a ball. I cried like I never cried before. Everything that had happened assaulted my mind like whip slashes. They permanently wounded me. I sat there for god knows how long and wept.

Then I felt a small hand on my shoulder. I looked up with blurry eyes. She shook me slightly, "Bella, what happened? Why are you crying?"

"A-Alice?" I stuttered. I could scarcely control my sobs. Her face was etched with worry. She pulled on my shoulders and helped me off the floor. Her eyes widened when she fully saw my face. Her expression turned one of dread, "Oh no, what did he do?"

Another sob rippled through my chest, "I- cannot do this anymore, Alice! He hates me!" She smoothed my hair and light dabbed at my cheeks. Her eyes glistened with unshed tears. "O sweet, that is not true…" She spoke quietly but with confirmation.

I shook my head at her words, "Yes it is! Why- why would he- o Alice." I started to sob again.

Alice's tiny face was dejected and she watched me until tears trickled down her face as well. "Come here…" she held out her arms and hugged me intensely. She pulled back and looked me in the eyes like she was looking for some answer. I gazed right back at her as tears still fell from my eyes.

"Why is he like this?" I whispered; I knew she could hear the pain in my voice and that seemed to make her decision for her. She grabbed my hand and strode forward.

"Where are we going?" I asked apprehensively; I did not want anyone to see me. Alice sighed as she pulled me down the hall to Rosalie's room. She walked in without knocking and dragged me with her. She closed the door behind us and locked it shut. Then she turned to Rosalie with the look of purpose and anger on her face.

"She needs to know the truth… Now!" Alice said firmly. I watched Rosalie as she got up from the rocking chair beside the window and walked to us. She put her hands on her hips and smirked, "I thought you would never ask."

I sat on a large blue bed with Rose beside me; Alice sat behind me as she casually combed my hair with her fingers. I sat there and watched my hands. This was it. They were finally going to tell me the reasons behind Edward's absurd behaviour. My heartbeat thudded some ideas that played in my head.

Rosalie cleared her throat and I inhaled in a breath. She took my hand in hers and spoke, "I will only tell you of the truth Bella, and no more." I nodded and she carried on, "I was born and raised in Cambridge. My family there is well- known and vast. I have many aunts, uncles and cousins. We were very close and loving. One person who was really dear to me was my younger cousin, Tanya. She is my mother's sister's daughter. We grew up doing everything together. We learned the same things, we wore the same things and we liked the same things…" Rosalie let out a bitter laugh and my confusion grew. Why was she telling me all of this? What does this have to do with Edward? I looked back at Rosalie and saw her expression change dramatically. She continued, "It was a new year when my parents decided to visit London. It was a trip that had kept getting delayed… I was 18 at the time and Tanya was 16. She was not allowed to come with us to London. At that time, I did not understand why and I was upset. But I guess her parents knew her well. I left for London feeling a bit dejected but had promised to write to Tanya every week. And so I did. The first couple of letters were only about how I had met Emmett and how Tanya was truly joyful for me. Then she started to mention how she had met someone as well. She told me that he was wealthy, handsome and a complete gentleman. I was, of course, ecstatic for both of us. I dreamed about how the two of us would have the most lavish weddings, gowns and décor. To me, everything seemed to be perfect. I and my truest friend married on the same day to our princes. I was on the ninth cloud. When I wrote all of this to her she laughed and told me what was on _her_ mind. She did not want to marry and the man she had met did not show an interest. But she _wanted_ him. I wrote back asking her how that was possible when she did not want to marry? When _he _did not want to marry _her_? I was muddled…" Rosalie went quiet for some minutes lost in her thoughts. She looked at me with hard flash in her eyes, "Two days later I found out how purely evil Tanya was. She wrote to me of what she had done to secure the man she had wanted. At the night of a ball, she put laudanum in his drinks until she was sure he would be unconscious within minutes. Then she whisked him away into a room…" I knew my eyes grew wide when Rose spoke that last statement, "She made him _believe _that he had deflowered and corrupted her. She dramatized that no one else will accept her because of what he had done… she lied to him. From there, Tanya destroyed his life. He was a good man; he stayed by her side and promised to marry her. She refused and tortured him. I do not why she did that. When she turned so wicked? I begged her to tell him the truth but she refused saying that she had all she wanted in life because of him. She specifically did not want _him_ only what he had to offer…" I was so thoroughly absorbed in Rose's tale that I did not even care that we were supposed to be talking about Edward. _Maybe they are trying to distract me? _"It was late in the summer when Emmett and I announced our engagement. A ball was held and everyone in our families was invited. I was excited to meet more of the Cullens; it was only Edward really. He was at a boarding school so I had yet to meet him." I suddenly remembered Jasper telling me the same; Rosalie kept talking, "My goodness was I surprised when Jasper and Edward met each other like childhood friends. They seemed to have pieced the puzzle together already and were content with it… I saw Tanya for the first time that night since I had come to London. She looked beautiful and very, very pleased. For the main part of the ball I was glad to have her back and to see her happy for me. There was a part of me that had hoped she had changed. It was not possible for her to be so immoral. I had known her all my life; she was a good person … But my thoughts altered quickly when – when I had _Tanya _introduce me to _Edward._"

I gasped. No, it was not possible! It could not have been Edward. No! I stared at Rosalie's face horror-struck. She squeezed my hand, "When I realized what was happening I told Emmett everything. It was useless to talk to Tanya and I knew that; she was not the person I knew before. She was wronging somebody who did not deserve it. Edward was a true gentleman. He was smart, talented, sweet and caring. He lived up to the Cullen name and I could not let it get ruined. So, I did what I had to do." Tears started to fall down my face again and I nodded at Rose.

"He did not believe us," Alice spoke for the first time. I turned around to see her face. She looked so devastated and small that I could not help but hug her. She held me tightly and I felt Rose caress my cheek. "He still blames himself. I _know_ he does not love that wretched bitch! But his guilt makes him think otherwise. He thinks we ran her away. He hates _us_ but _she_ hurt him, Bella. We lost him."

"I do not know if you knowing the truth would help your marriage," Rosalie said firmly, "But I do know that you are the only one who can reach out to him… Please, Bella, do not give up. You deserve happiness and so does he!"

To say I was shattered would be an understatement. Millions of thoughts and questions whirled in my mind. Why had Edward let this happen? Why does he not believe his family? What does he want now? As I gazed at the saddened faces of the two closest friends I have ever had, I knew that Edward was not at fault. He had been played. I sucked in a breath and my decision was made.

**You all wanted to know what Edward's problem was and why he is such a d**k, so you have it! What do you think?**

**+50 reviews = an EPOV (I AM DEAD SERIOUS!)**

**The next update will be on Oct. 16 **

**Luvs,**

**Ishey- EJ**


	10. Why

**Disclaimer: Twilight does not belong to me but the plot is mine so NO plagiarism is acceptable. **

**Thanks to everyone who reviewed! I asked for 50 reviews and you guys gave me more than 100! So thanks EVERYONE! **

**A shout out to gktrina and twilight15 who have been my biggest supports since the beginning! Thank you guys!**

**Now as I promised … **

**EPOV **

Chapter Ten – Why?

"_If you have any humanity left in you, Mr. Cullen, you will not utter another word."_

I felt numb. I stood there unmoving and watched her go. I did not miss the tears she tried to hide. I did not miss the misery written on every feature of her face. I saw everything that was wrong was because I had caused it…

The guilt I felt was overwhelming. Words could not define how I felt right now. I closed my eyes and tugged at my hair to very unsuccessfully remove the lump from my throat. I sighed at my own misery and wished to simply not exist. Then I slowly opened my eyes and my vision was filled with the broken, glass mess I had made. I crept forward and bent down to pick up a broken shard. I held it in my hands and stared at it intently.

Isabella.

She did not deserve this. From the moment I saw her I knew that she was a sacrificial lamb in this situation. Carlisle was not fair to her. He knew better than to let her be with someone like me. I cannot give her the happiness every woman merits. I had tried everything I could to get out of this marriage. But my family went against everything I had said.

Why could they not understand? Why are they trying to not only ruin my life but also Isabella's? I could never love this woman; I do not know what love is. What I have experienced in my life has left me doubtful of the word _love_. I do not believe it exists because of monsters like me.

I pity Isabella Swan. I regret what I said to her; she did not deserve it. But now that her life is connected with mine, she cannot be truly happy. I cannot make her happy; I won't.

"UGH!" I threw the broken piece of glass again. It broke into even smaller pieces than before. _Are you listening to yourself? _I questioned myself, _you ruthless monster! You __**hurt**__ her! _

I hurt her.

I had hurt her.

My breath turned to little gasps as the panic settled in. What had I done? I ran out the door with my mind completely focused on the purpose of finding her. I strode through the large hallways and looked everywhere. My panic deepened. Where was she?

My heart clamped and without another thought I paced into Carlisle study. He looked startled by my sudden appearance and stood up from the chair he was settled in. My hands were clenched into fists at my sides. My loud gasps echoed through the silence.

"Edward, whatever is the matter?" He crept forward but kept his distance.

"I – I," I could not breath. The weight of what I had done now crushed me, "I hurt her." My voice was barely above a whisper. Carlisle cocked his head to one side and looked thoroughly confused.

"Repeat that, son." His tone was calming and that made me vile.

"I HURT HER!" Carlisle's eyes widened and I threw my head in my hands. I was shaking with self-loathing and anguish. What was the matter with me? How could I? Had I not learned my lesson?

"What happened?" Carlisle commanded. His voice held no compassion or understanding. I could tell he was furious. I looked up from my hands and saw his expression that matched his tone. His arms were crossed and his visage cold.

I sighed and shamefully retold the morning events. He did not interrupt me once but I knew his muteness was a bad sign. I hung my head when I finished. It was real quiet for a couple of heartbeats until I heard someone sniffle behind me. I turned around half expecting to see Isabella but I was met with the heartbroken expression of my mother.

Tears flowed down her face and her mouth was covered with her hand. She did not look at me and spoke with a hard voice, "Where is she?"

My throat felt dry as I answered, "I do not know."

Carlisle spoke then, "We trusted you, Edward, with Isabella… with everything. We asked _you_ to trust us. _I _expected more from you. We had raised you better than this. The only reason I am hesitating from banishing you from this house is because of Bella. She is my daughter, Edward. She is your wife; it is about time you realize that." Carlisle's voice was deadly. He never shouted because his calm demeanour spoke louder than if he had shouted. I watched him and he looked me straight in the eyes, "Bella is a thousand times of what Tanya could ever be. I hope one day you will see that." With that he strode out of the room.

His words cut me like blades. Memories flooded through my mind before I could stop them. I remembered the pain and tears with perfect clarity. Abruptly, I stopped breathing and let the anger take over. Then I felt a hand on my shoulder. I turned and saw Esme's controlled gaze. She watched me and I finally sighed giving up.

"I was frustrated and she was in my way." I explained; I felt even worse when the words came out of my mouth.

Esme did not look pleased either, "If you lay another finger on her, Edward, you will face my wrath."

"It was an accident," I said in a small voice because I knew my actions were inexcusable, "I did not mean—"

Esme face hardened and she cut me off, ""You did not mean to call her a whore? You did not mean to mark her skin? You did not mean to be rude to her? Listen to me very carefully, Edward, Carlisle is only inches away from removing you from the will. I suggest you start treating Bella with some respect or else I will make sure Carlisle goes through with it."

The annoyance and anger I felt towards me and Carlisle's words overpowered every other emotion. I glared at my own mother and seethed, "I never wanted this!" Esme's eyes filled with tears again but I kept my stance.

"I know but please, Edward, enough is enough." Esme turned to leave, "Stop being a fool. Do not push away what Bella can give you for what could have been. Forgive yourself and realize that Tanya lied." She left like Carlisle had and I felt that same pain overtake me.

I stood there as a strong memory came back to me.

_The thunder outside cracked loudly and I quickly ducked into the small cottage where I asked her to meet me. She stood faced toward the fireplace not acknowledging my presence. Perhaps she did not know I was there. I walked up to her and held her hands lightly. _

_She did not look startled to see me; she wore a blank expression. I smiled and kissed her on the cheek. I knew she hated when I did that but right now I needed to know she loved me. _

"_Do you love me?" I asked quietly. She never said it on her own. I always had to pry it out of her. That thought had bothered me before but now I thought that she might only be shy. _

"_Edward," she sighed. She took her hands out of mine and stepped back, "This cannot be."_

_I was confused. I walked closer to her but she stopped me, "I am returning to Cambridge on the fortnight. I came to say goodbye."_

"_You cannot leave now… We were going to tell our family about us, our love. Why are you leaving so soon?" I asked. My heartbeat grew and I suddenly felt very uneasy. _

_Her face turned cold and she turned to leave, "We cannot be together, Edward."_

_I froze at her words. My heart pounded, my ears rang and my palms started to sweat. She took a step towards the door and something broke inside of me. I ran to her and grabbed her by the shoulders. I knew I did not deserve her but she could not just leave. _

"_Please…" I whispered. I felt tears in my eyes. I did everything for her yet she was leaving. _

"_I cannot do this anymore, Edward. Forgive me." She pushed my arms away from her and stepped back again. _

_I could not breathe. I was barely able to ask, "Why?"_

_Her eyes flashed with pure hatred but then she lowered her gaze and spoke, "Ask your family." _

_I stood there completely shocked and watched her leave. That was the last time I saw her three years ago. She walked out of my life as if she had never existed. _

I gasped for air; I could not breathe. I ran out of Carlisle's office and up my bedroom. The pain was excruciating, crushing. Maybe this pain was one way to atone for my sins because otherwise I do not why someone would have to feel this way. I fell into a chair and put my head my hands.

I took deep breathes until the room stopped spinning. Suddenly, the door slammed open. I looked up startled. Emmett came in with a murderous look on his face. I stood up as he stomped towards me.

"She is a whore? We pity her? She disgraced her family?" He shouted. He stood right in front of me and glared.

"Calm down, Emmett." I said quietly.

He pushed me down on the chair with an enraged expression, "_Tanya_ is a whore! I pity _you_! Your _feelings_ for that lying _whore_ are disgraceful!"

I stared at him. My mind was vacant.

"If I ever see her shed a tear because of you, your blood will be on my hands," He grabbed my collar and hoisted me up. He face serious and very unlike Emmett. "I saw a change in you this morn. 'Twas only because of Bella… Do not purposely lose it. We want you to be happy, brother." He patted my cheek and turned to leave.

He left the room and again I stood there and stared. Any minute the anger and resentment was going to erupt. I felt it. But something stopped me…

_I saw a change in you this morn. 'Twas only because of Bella…_

Without my consent the recall of this morning came to me.

_I slowly opened my eyes to a bright and sunny day. I was warm and comfortable in my bed, after a very long time, having slept peacefully. I blinked a couple of times and hugged closer the pillow beside me. Only the pillow hugged me back. I looked down and my heart skipped a beat. _

_It was Bella. Her eyes were closed; she was asleep. Her arms were wrapped tenderly around me. I felt a very foreign emotion at the feel of her arms. I stared at her face and instead of moving away I moved closer to her. _

_My right hand was around her waist so I guided my left to her hair. I removed some pins and buried my whole hand in her hair. It was so soft and thick. Surprising even myself, I bent my head forward and glided my nose along her jaw. She smelled so good, like freesia or lavender. I knotted my hand in her hair and pulled her head closer to mine. I was in a trance. Her heart-shaped face, her mahogany hair, the feel of her skin, everything about her mesmerised me. _

_That is until I heard someone chuckle. I looked up and saw Emmett watching me. Words I had never said in a lady's presence flew out my mouth to Emmett. He turned right around and left the room. As the door slammed closed I sat up. _

I shook my head clear. At that time, I refused to think about my actions but right now everything crashed down on me. I refused to think about what happened this morning again. I was angry. I was miserable. I regretted everything. My family was right about Isabella. She was _good. _

I walked over to my bed and sat down. She did not leave me last night. She stayed with me. She comforted me. And what did I do? I hurt her. I insulted her. I made her feel wretched. Why? Because, we were both forced into a marriage none of us wanted. The marriage she handled much better than I was. She was civil towards me and I only made her life a living nightmare. When she tried to make situations easier_, _I only antagonised her. Could I do anything worse?

It has been three years since my world fell apart. I cannot go back and fix my mistakes. I cannot go back and tell myself to never trust anyone. I cannot change my past. But I needed to move on.

I had hurt everyone around me and, now I needed to redeem myself.

I hoped Carlisle had found her; I needed to know she was ok. I stood up again as the image of her from this morning came to my mind. My panic started to well up again. I needed to apologise to her now! I was halfway down the hall when I heard a sudden blood curdling scream. I stopped in my tracks…

_Bella!_

**Ok this was REALLY hard to do! **

**I know a lot of you were expecting Edward's thoughts on the wedding and etc. but I just couldn't do it. I know this chapter barely explained anything and I might have confused you even more but I hope you guys understand Edward better. He's a confused guy, that's all I have to say about it. Do not worry there will another or two EPOVs… and they'll be better than this one **

**Sorry if this did not live up to your expectations… It was honestly way harder than I thought.**

**Anyways we are done part one of YAMLN! Yay! One down three to go! Stay with me guys, stuff is about to get really crazy good! **

**REVIEWS = TEASER! **

**Luvs, **

**Ishey-EJ**


	11. Henry

**Disclaimer: Twilight does not belong to me **** but the plot is completely mine so plagiarism is not acceptable.**

**Thank you! I'm glad that everyone enjoyed the EPOV! I loved all the reviews thank you! So sorry for the late update! I have been really busy but from now on I have an updating schedule. I will update every other week on Sundays. **

**Thanks for waiting!**

**Here It Is!**

Chapter 11- Henry

I had come up with a conclusion. If Edward wanted me to stay away from him, then that is exactly what I shall do. After hearing about his past, I realized that it was best for me to ignore him as he prefers. He had made his intentions clear.

But still, I had so many questions! My brain kept shouting them at me. Where were those letters? Where was Tanya? Do Edward and she still –? I supressed that thought for in fear it might push me over the edge…

I sat quietly with Rose, while Alice worked to clean the little wound on my face. I could tell that they were furious at Edward. Rosalie looked murderously scary and if she was not with child, Edward would have been dead by now. The look on Alice's face was what scared me the most. She will definitely not let him get away with this.

I sighed at their protectiveness. No one, except one who shall not be named, had ever done such a thing for me. I felt emotional all over again… My decision was now unalterable. From now on, Edward and I will have nothing do to with each other. I will make sure of it.

"There!" Alice's little chirp broke me out of my reverie, "You are now more beautiful than Rose and I combined." I laughed at her statement but thanked her for taking care of me.

"Tis' no bother at all, after I am through with my poor excuse of a brother then you can thank me." She had very evil look on her face; I instantly leaned back.

"Please do not say anything to him." I whispered, knowing how strongly they would disagree.

"Bella—" Alice started to complain but I cut her off.

"Please… I do not want to create any more problems. Yes, I am angry with him but I intend to deal with it much differently. Please, do not tell anyone about this either." I looked up at them and pleaded with my eyes. Rosalie turned her head not promising me anything. But Alice only stared at me until a silent _NO_ hung in the air. I sighed again.

"It would be best if—" my voice was suddenly cut off by the loud knocking on the door. I tensed up. Alice opened the door quietly and revealed a very serious looking Emmett. He walked straight to me and lifted me into a bone crushing hug.

"If he ever hurts you again, sister, do not hesitate to come to me." His voice was sombre; I had never witnessed it before. He placed me back on the bed, while I stared at him wide-eyed.

"This would not have gone unnoticed and he knew it," Emmett answered my unasked questioned. But it did not make me feel any better. Why had Edward told Emmett what he did? How could it do him any good? Emmett turned to Rosalie whose face was unexpectedly twisted in pain. He was about to say something but Rose waved him off.

I stared at Rosalie. She looked too pale and her hands were clenched into tight fists. I looked back to Emmett and saw how worried he was. Something was wrong; I knew it. "Rose?" I touched her shoulder, "Are you alright?"

"I am fine, Bella. The baby is moving a lot, which is all." She stood up, wincing a bit, off the bed. Then she walked toward the door as Alice, Emmett and I watched her intensely. Abruptly, she stopped and clutched her round stomach. Her breathing was laboured and harsh.

Emmett ran to her and grabbed her by the shoulders. "Rose, sweetheart, what is the matter?" his voice was frantic. Rosalie only shook her head but winced more noticeably. I stood up and walked over to them with Alice right on my heel. I knew exactly what was happening, and just as I was about to say so, Rosalie let out a horrifying scream!

It was quiet for two heartbeats; everyone seemed to be frozen in their spot. All I could comprehend was Rose's ragged breathing. Suddenly, everything erupted! Emmett and Alice started to shout about various things on what they needed to do. Alice flew out the room and down the stairs. Emmett picked up Rosalie into his arms and swiftly placed her back on the bed.

He turned to me, "Bella, I need you to go into the parlour and bring me the small, blue suitcase, now!" he turned back to Rosalie who withered in pain again. I ran out of the room, like Alice had, towards the parlour. Everything was happening too quickly; in my mind everything was a blur. I turned my head, over my shoulder, at the sound of another scream that came from Rosalie. I walked faster still looking over my shoulder at Rose's chamber room.

Precipitously, I bounded into something hard and warm. My breathing stopped. I looked up at his face and kept mine purposefully blank. His hands wrapped around my shoulders firmly. He gazed down at me with relief evident in his eyes.

"_Bella?"_ He whispered. His eyes glazed over with an emotion I could not read. Nor, did I bother to. I took a deep breathe, as the images from this morn swirled in my mind, and gave him the cruellest, most hateful look I could. I had had enough; his past was not my doing! I pushed his hands off my shoulder and brushed past him without another glance. I did not dwell on his sudden change of mood and almost ran to the parlour.

I immediately found the small, blue suitcase Emmett wanted and headed back to them. I saw Carlisle first as I neared their room. He stood tall and seriously. Beside him stood Emmett; he who looked positively scared. It was sweet to watch him worry over Rosalie. I gave him a kind look. He tried to return it but I could see the effort behind.

"You may take that inside." He motioned to the suitcase. I nodded at him and entered the room. Esme and Alice were in the room. They had Rose undressed and under the covers. Her face was twisted in pain but at that moment she was truly glowing. Alice came and took the suitcase from me. Then she set it aside and started to grab things out of it. I realized that they had prepared the suitcase just for this.

I walked over to where Esme sat beside Rose. She gave me a kind smile and gestured for me to sit with her. I smiled back and sat on the chair that was positioned beside her. Rosalie gritted her teeth then let out a loud, agonizing scream. I took her hand in mine and whispered encouraging words to her. She was strong and held herself together.

After a little while later, there was a knock on the door. Esme stood to answer it but I told not to bother and got up myself. She had a tiny smile on her face when I did so. I opened the door slightly not revealing what was happening inside. There, on the other side of the door, stood a petit, grey- haired woman. She grinned at me.

"I heard the Cullen's will be receiving a small bundle of joy today," her voice was a little brittle but warm, "And I am here to deliver it."

I smiled; she was the nurse. I let her in and stepped aside. She walked over to Esme and hugged her tightly. She gave Rose a wide grin. Alice handed her the things she picked from the suitcase then walked over to me.

"Would you mind calling Emmett?" she asked. I nodded and left the room with one last glance at Rosalie. She was going to be fine.

The men were waiting in the living. They all looked worried and dishevelled. I almost giggled at Emmett's posture but stopped myself. _Poor Emmett, _I smiled. When I walked in they all stopped what they were doing and stared at me like I held the world's secret.

"Rose will be fine," I assured them, "Emmett, she asks for you." He had risen before I had even finished. I smiled again as he strode out of the room as quickly as possible. I looked back to everyone and noticed that they were still staring at me. Jasper was gaping.

"Good lord! What happened?" he walked over to me and touched the tender spot on my face. I froze and my eyes darted towards Edward. His jaw was locked and he looked completely panicked. When his eyes met mine, he had the nerve to look ashamed. My visage hardened and I looked away.

Jasper was still waiting for my response. I could see the protectiveness in his eyes like I had with Emmett. If he knew the truth, there was no doubt on what he would do. So, I stared at him clueless. _What should I tell him?_ Just as I opened my mouth to say something incoherent, Alice's voice floated through the room.

"That was my fault," she came and stood right beside me, "We ladies get a bit overwhelmed when it comes to our hair. I accidently scratched her with the pins." Alice finished her perfectly articulated speech and smiled at Jasper.

He gazed fondly at her, "Well be careful, us men do not want our ladies marked." He winked at Alice and she blushed crimson. But then suddenly, Jasper's face darkened and he turned his head over his shoulder, "Is that not right, Edward?"

I tensed. _How did he possibly know? _Alice and I shared a mien. I looked back to watch the exchange between Edward and Jasper. They were glaring at each other; it was pretty obvious that Jasper was holding his own.

I quickly turned to Alice, "Does the nurse need any help? Is Rose well?"

She blinked at me at first, but caught on hurriedly, "O yes! Can you believe it, Bella? Soon, we shall both be aunts!" I smiled at her genuinely. The thought of being an aunt warmed my heart.

"And I shall be an uncle!" Jasper said with a grin on his face. I noticed that Edward had disappeared. "I shall be the best uncle any baby girl has ever had!" Jasper continued. He looked so happy. I grinned at him, for what I knew Alice was about to say.

"How can you possibly know that it will be a baby girl?" Alice questioned raising her eyebrows. She was desperately hoping for a nephew and did not even think about the fact that Rose might have a girl. I giggled.

"Well, Madam," Jasper began in a courteous tone, "There is always a possibility."

"Not with this baby!" Alice screeched.

"Is there a problem with having girls?" Jasper questioned with a mischievous glint in his eyes, "_I _would prefer for _my_ first child to be a girl." I pressed my lips together at Alice's expression when Jasper stopped talking. _O poor girl!_

I knew that at that moment an Alice and Jasper argument was about to start. So I excused myself and left the room. I shook my head at the two of them. They were so in love and so clueless.

"Bella?"

I froze in my tracks. He was standing at the end of the hall. I had nowhere to escape. _What does he want from me now? _I stared at him with cold eyes. I did not hide my hatred and anger from him. He began to walk to towards me but I stepped back. He looked dejected by my one, lone action though he fully deserved much worse.

"I need to apologize for my—" his voice was soft and quiet but I cut him off.

"I do want to hear it." I said firmly.

"Please Bella I—" he started again but I held up my hand.

"Mr. Cullen, I have heard enough this morning. I do not want nor need to hear another word from you." I looked him straight in the eyes and allowed myself to walk forward. My chin jutted out and my shoulders back. For some reason, his eyes widened. I walk right past him. I felt him turn towards me as I walked by. He grabbed my hand, "Bella I know—"

I snatched my hand out of his and let all my anger overpower me, "Enough!" He stiffened at the venom in my voice and the iciness in my eyes. His anger, words, hatred, past, moods all had me riled up. I did not understand him; now I did not want to. For all I knew, he was in love with a whore he excused me of being. I should not have to deal with this. After what my father did and what happened to my father, can I not have some decency in my life? Why does _my _husband have to be someone who is incapable of loving me?

I stared at Edward with peaked emotions. He did not understand me. He did not want to understand… he never will. Edward was still frozen in his spot. He had mixed expressions on his face. He looked guilty, sad, ashamed and… scared?

"For my sanity and yours, Mr. Cullen, leave me alone." With that I left him.

"TIS' A BOY!" Alice's voice was above any other sound in the whole mansion. It was night time; the end of a very stressful day. But thankfully all was paid off. Rosalie had given birth to a beautiful little angel.

The whole family was in the room waiting to see the addition to the Cullen family. I stood beside a very proud looking Emmett. He was holding his tiny child in his bear like arms with tears in his eyes.

"Henry. Henry Emmett Cullen," he announced.

Carlisle put his hand on Emmett's shoulder, "You did good, son. We are proud of you." He turned his face to Rosalie, "Of both of you."

"Is not my grandson the cutest little thing you have ever laid eyes on?" Esme gushed as she took the baby from Emmett. She cooed him a little but Alice would not have any of that.

"I think his aunt should see him," she hinted in a sing song voice.

Esme laughed, "Of course, here you go Bella, dear." Everyone chuckled at Alice's hurtful and impatient expression. But she did not object as Esme placed Henry in my arms. Then I gazed at him for the first time…

He was so beautiful. His eyes were the icy blue that was identical to Rosalie's. The black curls matted on his head were completely Emmett though. I could clearly make out the dimples that were going to be one of his prominent features too. He looked like the perfect mixture of his parents. I stared at him and tears filled my eyes. This was another happiness that I could not have.

I sighed and put a smile on my face, "O Rose, he's gorgeous!" I looked up and suddenly my eyes connected with the ones I had been trying to avoid. He gaze was so intense I could do nothing but stand there. There was something different about him; I could feel it. A change was coming…

"O, the agony of waiting to see my only nephew!" Alice's dramatic complaint broke me from my daze. I looked away quickly then walked up to Alice to put her out of her misery. She quieted as soon as I placed the baby in her arms. There was a gentle smile on her face and tears in her eyes. She looked up and grinned playfully at Jasper who sat by Rosalie on a chair.

"I_ told_ you that it will be a boy," she gloated.

Japer only shrugged with the same expression on his face, "Well I guess I shall have to have girls of my own." Alice blushed yet again and this time Emmett was near. He laughed loudly, "Well, then Jasper, you might want to get that proposal approved soon!"

"Emmett, hold your tongue!" Esme chastised; a father of a child and still getting disciplined by his mother. I chuckled.

"May I hold him?" a quiet, musical voice came from the back of the room. A place I was trying in vain not to look at. Everyone quieted as Alice went over to him and passed him little Henry.

I watched him. No, I stared at him as he beheld Henry. There was so much tenderness in his eyes that I could barely stand. He slowly leaned forward and pressed the softest of kisses on Henry's little forehead. "Welcome, little one." I heard him whisper. Everyone's expressions softened at his words. All of us had tears in our eyes.

"We shall all get some rest now," Esme declared, "Tis' been a long day."

She went to Edward and smiled at him gently. She took Henry from him and then shooed us all away. I walked out with Alice right on my heels. She stopped me all of a sudden and asked, "Would you like to stay in my room tonight?"

I knew what she was trying to do. I was thankful but I could not run away from him. I shook my head at her and gave her a convincing smile. "I shall be okay," I said encouragingly. She glowered at me for a couple of minutes but gave up sighing. I hugged her goodnight and went to face him again.

He was in the room like I expected. He did not say anything at first. I was able to get ready for bed and almost relaxed before he spoke up. He stood by the window faced away from me. I sat on the bed.

"What happened today," he began, "I do not expect you to forgive me for it. I was a monster and the words that left my mouth were despicable. You cannot even begin to imagine my guilt. If I could, I would take back all my actions. You deserve much more than I can give you…" his voice was quiet and heartfelt. He turned around and I could even see the sincerity in his face as he walked to me. He stopped right on the edge of the bed and looked me in the eyes. Then slowly but shockingly he sank to his knees right in front of me. I sat frozen on the bed not knowing what I should do or say. He carefully held my small hands in his and spoke with his head down, "Bella, I cannot give you a real relationship. I am sorry. For the way I have treated you, I am sorry. I know you may hate me and I am sorry. I wish you did not have to be married to me…" his voice was low and pained. My heart was clenched; I could barely breathe. He looked up with a low blaze in his eyes. I could see determination written all over his features, "I promise you, Bella, that from now on I will not cause you pain. I will try to keep you happy. I will keep my vows."

We stared at each other for a long moment. I kept my face sensibly blank. In my mind, I was analyzing everything he had just said to me. He looked earnest but I was scared to believe him so fully. So I took my hands out of his slowly and spoke with conviction, "Prove it."

**There you go! Sorry it was so late but it won't happen again… unless it does **

**For extra info, pics, teasers visit my thread. Lots of awesome stuff going on! **

**/ forum / viewtopic (dot ) php ?f=44&t=11732**

**Remember… **

**REVIEWS = TEASER **

**Luvz,**

**Ishey **


	12. London

**Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight… I wish I did but I don't **** but the plot is MINE! **

**Thanks to everyone who reviewed and gktrina who is the most awesome and supportive person ever! LOVE YOU ALL! **

**Here it is! **

Chapter 12 – London

Jasper had finally gotten the nerve to ask Carlisle's permission to court Alice! I was so excited for what was surely going to happen. Everyone adored Jasper and I truly doubted that Carlisle would refuse him. Alice, of course, was uncontrollable. As soon as, Rose revealed Jasper's intentions for visiting today, Alice has been on the edge. I could tell that she was nervous. But I could also see the extreme happiness on her face. I smiled and her tiny form as she sat in her bed and pretended to hide. She had not come out of her room all day!

"Alice!" I exclaimed for the hundredth time today. She tried to look uninterested and bored but her grip on my arm told me otherwise. My arm was officially numb. I sighed, when she looked up at me with nervous, anxious eyes. "What has you in distress?" I asked sweetly, "Do you not want him to court you?"

That got a reaction out of her. She shook her head vigorously and answered in a strained voice, "O Bella, what if he realizes that I may not be what he desires? O Lord, what shall I do then?"

I shushed her, "Believe me when I say he loves you, Alice." I gave her an honest look. But her eyes still had doubt in them. I sighed again, "Alice, please do not let your doubts come in the way of your happiness. Jasper loves you and I know you feel the same way."

She squeezed my hand and smiled, "O Bella, I am so joyful at this moment… but I am also scared."

I furrowed my brows. "Why on earth would you be scared?" I asked in an astonished voice.

"I do not want lose him, Bella. If he decides that I may not be the one, I shall be devastated!" she explained in a small voice. Tears pooled in my eyes as I looked at my sister. She, of all people deserved true love. I pulled her into a tight hug and whispered in her ear, "You deserve true love, Alice. And I know that Jasper is the one to give it to you. If you love him, then do not be afraid to open your heart to him. Show him how wonderful you are… Everything will be right in the end." I hugged her a little tighter then drew back.

Alice was grinning from ear to ear with tears in her eyes and I knew the worst was over. I beamed at her whole-heartedly; she and Jasper would make a delightful couple. She took my hand in hers again and looked at me with a hesitant expression, "I know you may not believe it but you deserve true love too, Bella." I bristled a bit at her comment and looked away. She only tightened her hold on my hands, "Everything will be right in the end."

I smiled darkly, "Tis' a little late for me."

"Have faith." Alice said calmly.

I shook my head slightly. _Faith? Hope? _Those were the things I was trying to stay away from. I would not be able to handle being crushed by small yet significant words like those. Especially now, that _he _has a change in demeanour. I sighed yet again. When he had apologised to me, I had told him to prove it, not really trusting his words. He sounded sincere but I could not find it in myself to forgive him. He had hurt me deeply.

It has been a week since Henry's birth and Edward's apology. The mood in the house has been difficult. While everyone was cheerful because of Henry, they were also put off by Edward. Nobody knew about his confession. They all thought he was disregarding what had happened and everyone was angry. But the fact was _they_ were disregarding his advances. Nobody noticed the little changes that he was making to _prove_ himself… but I did.

His posture, his gestures, his words were all so… _altered _now. He was trying but I did not want his forced emotions; I rather be ignored by him. Even the smallest, kind acts had me cringing away from him. When he held out my chair for me, or helped me into the carriage or even when he only nodded a greeting as he entered the room made everything worse.

A knock at the door brought me out of my reverie. Alice suddenly gripped my hand again. I gave her a small smile and nodded at her. Then I went to get the door. As I expected, Jasper stood behind it. He had the same nervous eyes but glowing face as on Alice's face. I gave him a warm smile and ushered him inside. I knew they needed some time alone, so I left the room inconspicuously with the door wide open. I hoped with all my heart that everything would settle between them.

"BELLA!" I jolted awake to Alice's scream. I was lying on the bed but I do not remember how I got there. Last I remembered, I was sitting on the couch beside the window… I shook my head disoriented and saw Alice bolt through the door with Jasper and Rose right on her heels.

She stopped at the foot of my bed and beamed down at me. I stared at her not understanding what she was trying to point out. She huffed at my slowness then cast a pointed look at Jasper. That is when it hit me.

"O Alice! Congratulations!" I stood up and hugged her tightly. I looked at Jasper over her shoulder and grinned at him. He wore the same look as Alice; the one of complete bliss. Rosalie sat on my bed and smirked, "I say, tis' about time."

"Better late than never," Jasper said smoothly as he gazed at Alice lovely.

Alice was bouncing slightly on her heels, "We are going to the theater today!" Again, she was grinning from ear to ear; I gave her a cautious look, "Have you gotten permission?"

"Yes of course!" She feigned shock.

Jasper stepped forward, "Would you like to come?" he asked kindly. I looked between Alice and him hesitantly, "Umm, I am not so sure… I do not want to intrude."

"Of course, you are not intruding!" Alice exclaimed, "You will have a wonderful time! Besides we need a chaperone." I was unsure. I would have loved to go because I have always enjoyed good theatre… but the thought of being around a loving couple, alone, for long would only make me depressed. I sighed.

"Alone?" I asked quietly. I knew they understood what I meant. Rosalie stood up then, she wore a smugly, decisive expression. She regarded something over my shoulder then spoke with authority, "Of course not, Edward will be coming with you. Are you not, Edward?"

I stared at her in surprise for a heartbeat than turned swiftly around. There he stood tall and striking. My stomach clenched, a reaction I was used to by now. He was watching me and I lowered my eyes. I did not know why but there was something about him that made me feel… so diverse. Even though, I was angry with him, I did not have it in me to hate him and that scared me. The most I could do was stay away from him.

But his next words made my plan impossible, "Yes, yes I am." _What? _My heartbeat grew fast and his words flooded into my head. _I promise you, Bella, that from now on I will not cause you pain. I will try to keep you happy. I will keep my vows. _Suddenly I was irate again. Edward had said that he would try but he also said that he cannot offer me a real relationship. So, what exactly did he mean?

My thoughts came in a huge rush. _I was furious at him for being this way. If he loved _her_, then why was he even here? Why did he not just go to her? Why did he marry me? Why was he even trying?_ _Did I not just say I could not hate him? Why? _I looked up and glared at him. He looked taken aback but did not say a word. Then he stared back right back at me with an unreadable expression. I did not back down and neither did he.

"ROSIE!" Emmett's loud outburst startled me out of my skin. I turned back around to face Rosalie who was looking expectantly at the door.

Emmett burst through the door with a very naked and crying Henry in his arms. Poor Emmett looked so clueless I barely had it in me to laugh at him. Rose jumped up, "Dear Lord, Emmett, dost thou want to kill my child!" She strode over to him and took Henry right out of his arms while chastising him. They walked out the door arguing; they looked very much like a family. I smiled after them.

"Well, gentlemen, we shall see you in a little bit," Alice turned to Edward and Jasper, "Us ladies need to get dressed."

They walked out of the room without a protest and Alice got to work. She was ecstatic. She told me how her nervousness dissipated as soon as Jasper walked into the room. They did not have to say much to each other because their feelings were so obvious. I was happy for Alice but I could not deny my envy towards her either. She had something I never will.

We left for the theater soon after. Alice had forced me into a gown that was entirely way too much for a local theater. I felt overdressed but Alice assured me that there were ladies who dressed this way on a daily basis. I felt better after that but my easiness was soon gone as walked to where Edward and Jasper waited by the carriages.

It was a beautiful, cool evening. Twilight hung over us and made the Cullen estate look even more gorgeous than it already was. I took deep breathes of the fresh air and stared at the ground as we reached the carriages. I felt exposed even though the gown was quite modest. From the corner of my eyes I saw Alice and Jasper heading towards another carriage. I felt a little panic rise up in my chest.

"We are riding in separate carriages, I hope you do not mind," his voice was quiet. I shook my head and kept on staring at the ground beneath my feet. He moved to open the carriage door then gestured for me to go in. I put my right foot on to the carriage step and was about to pull myself up when I felt his hand slide into my mine. I felt blood pool into my skin as he helped me into the carriage. It was a normal gentleman act but with Edward it surprised me. I took a final deep breath as the carriage lurched forward. This was the first time we going to be seen together publically… to say I was worried would be an understatement. I just hoped he would remember his promise and not disown me out on the streets.

"Was that not such a wonderful play?" Alice exclaimed for the tenth time. She was still bouncing with excitement though the play had already ended. I smiled at her again to let her know that I enjoyed it as well.

I did not enjoy just the play. I loved all of London. It was outstanding and alive! The streets were busy with various events. The music, the smell of bake goods, the laughter, all of it was wonderful! I had a bright smile on my face ever since I got off the carriage! It also helped matters that Edward was behaving like a nobleman.

At first, I had my suspicions that he would leave my side as soon as he got the chance. But that did not happen. He was courteous and polite and that was more than I ever expected. I had finally started to relax… that is until I saw the ladies in the theater looking at me in sheer envy and hatred. They watched my every move like a hunter; I was uncomfortable to say the least. In the end, I decided there was not much I could do other than endure it.

"What would you like to eat, Bella?" Alice chirped. She had her arm looped around mine and was walking in a rhythmic beat. I had to concentrate very hard to not topple over.

"I do not know…" I said honestly. I scanned through the street for something that might interest me. My eyes rested atop a small bakery and I grinned.

"Pastries!" I almost yelled, while Alice screamed, "Cheese bread!" We both looked at each other in confusion. I told her that I really would not mind if we had Cheese bread but she would not take any of that.

"No, no, you and Edward can go to the bakery while Jasper and I get some cheese bread," she said simply. I gave her a sly look.

"O Bella, Jasper and I will not break any rules. You and Edward are only across the street," Alice smiled mischievously. I very clearly heard Jasper chuckle from behind us. I turned to face the men and gave Jasper a serious look. Someone had to be responsible. He nodded his head at me.

"Okay," I sighed. Alice giggled then untangled her arm from mine. She and Jasper took off, while I stared after them. _They look so happy together, _I thought. I turned around and saw Edward waiting for me. The weight of what I had just done fell on me. Still, I ignored my dreadful feeling and walked towards him. He was watching like he had been since last week and without saying a word he held out his arm for me. I took it gingerly and we walked in silence towards the bakery.

"You like sweets?" he asked. I looked up at him, surprised. Even though, he had been acting kind all evening, I was stunned that he initiated a conversation. His head was inclined towards me though we did not make eye contact. I had a feeling he was doing that on purpose.

"Yes," I answered truthfully, "I have loved them ever since I was a child." I smiled at a particular memory of my mother hiding baked goods from me. I always ate them before anyone even had a chance to smell them. Edward turned his head fully towards me, this time, and blatantly stared. I felt my cheeks heating up. Maybe I had said too much.

Fortunately, we walked into the small but cosy bakery and I felt my spirits enhance. There were so many delicious desserts to pick from that I could barely contain my excitement. Edward was yet to say something but at that moment I chose to ignore him wholly; I wanted dessert first! _Stop acting like such a child! _I chastised myself. After going through rows and rows of the sweets that were laid out, I decided to pick my favourite. _Chocolate Cream Rolls! _I turned towards Edward to let him know that I had my pick, when I saw him smirking.

"Is something the matter?" I asked letting my annoyance leak into my voice.

His smirk grew more pronounced, "Is that not what you_ first_ picked out?" he asked and pointed to the cream rolls.

I narrowed my eyes at him, "What are you implying, Mr. Cullen?"

"Nothing at all," he said smoothly but his lips appeared to have a ghost of smile on them. My eyes widened at the sight. He was so beautiful that I hated myself for even thinking it. I stood in my place by the widows while he went to the counter and bought the cream rolls.

I honestly needed a minute to think through things… His mood swings were giving me a whiplash. I sighed. _He is really trying, _I thought, _maybe things shall be different now. _I shook my head and did not allow myself to hope. I doubted he would really change.

Edward was back in less than two minutes with the cream rolls. I grinned down at them, where he placed them on the table. I picked one and was about to put it in my mouth when I saw him staring at me, yet again.

I huffed, "Are you not going to eat?" I raised my eyebrows at him and waited for his answer. For a second, he looked completed off guard, like he did not even remember where he was. Then he shifted uncomfortably and shrugged his shoulders.

"I have never really tried them before," he said sheepishly.

All I could do was gap at him, "You have never had cream rolls before?" I was more than shocked; I was appalled.

"No." he answered simply as he watched my reaction.

"Never?" I squeaked.

"No, not at all." This time he actually smiled. For the first time ever, I saw him smile. He smiled _at me_. My heartbeat strutted and I averted my eyes from his. I cleared my throat. "Well then, I guess we will have to fix that," I said determined. I pushed the box of cream rolls towards him and gave him a pointed look.

He looked down then slowly reached for a cream roll. I took a bite of mine at the same time he did. We were both looking each other cautiously. The atmosphere was tense again. I averted my eyes again and finished eating. When I looked back up, it was impossible to control my laughter. There stood Edward, as he tried to look intimidating and manly, with cream all over his mouth and nose. My giggling doubled over when he looked absolutely oblivious.

"Is something funny?" he asked in a strange voice. I shook my head, trying to control myself, and pointed at his face. His eyes double-crossed as he tried to see what was on his face. I cackled again and his eyes narrowed. Suddenly his expression turned deadly and he looked furious. I immediately stopped laughing and all the blood drained from my face. I was frozen in my spot.

Out of nowhere, his hand came up and he smeared some cream all over my face and nose.

I let out an Alice- type shriek, "Edward!"

He only smiled innocently, "We match now, Isabella."

I glared at him until the ridiculousness of the situation had us laughing again. We calmed down after a little bit and I sighed. I still did not trust him but maybe he _finally_ understood our circumstances.

I looked out the windows as he cleaned himself up. The mood was edgier now that we were back to our senses. I stayed quite not wanting to taint what had happened. I gasped as I was a little book store on the corner of the street. It had been awhile since I have gotten good literature for my own.

"Do you read?" he asked from behind me probably having followed my gaze to the bookstore. But the way asked made me bristle. It was, as if, he were asking, 'You can read?' I felt insulted.

"I am not an illiterate, Mr. Cullen," I said firmly. His lack of response proved my previous assumptions correct. I felt tears prick my eyes and my anger only grew. _Pathetic! _My mind screamed at me. Did I really expect him to treat me as an equal? Why did I even bother?

"Forgive me Isabella," Edward whispered, "I did not mean to – would you like to visit the bookstore?"

I turned around to face him again. His eyes were lowered to the ground and left hand was in his hair as he tugged at them. I sighed and agreed. We walked across to the bookstore in silence. My thoughts were all over the place but they were all revolved around the one person who was walking beside me.

The bookstore was quite charismatic. It was also well stocked for my liking. We went through the whole bookstore separately but always staying within reach. Though, we only had limited time I was pleased with the books I found. After sometime, Edward came up to me and suggested that we really should be headed home. I agreed and went to purchase the books.

"Allow me," Edward requested. He took the books from me then frowned at what he saw. He gazed at me with a disapproving expression. I raised my eyebrows in question. "Jane Austen?" he enquired in distaste.

"Is something the matter with Austen literature?" I asked defensibly. I loved her writing. Her books always created a new world for me. Her characters felt so real. Why was he looking at me that way?

"Her wishy-washy stories are not literature," he jeered, "But I am sure _you_ relish her fickle characters."

Anger rippled through me as I glared up at him. How could he possibly say such things! He did not know anything about my preferences! I could feel my face heating up as my fury increased. "Have you ever read any Austen novels?" I asked as evenly as I could.

"Of course not!" he scoffed.

_That is it! _ I turned my back to him and strode of the store, my books forgotten. Luckily, I spotted Alice and Jasper by the carriages. They were way too caught up in each other to notice me so I slipped into my carriage undetected. I huffed and sat back. _Fickle characters, _I fumed! What does he know? I turned my head and faced the window. He entered the carriage soon after and I thought I heard him chuckle, though I could not be sure.

"Bella?" he approached. I paid no attention to him and kept facing out the window. I, very clearly, heard him sigh. 

We arrived home quite late. Everyone was already gone to bed. Alice and I dressed for bed in her room. She was in a dream-like state and for once she was quiet. We said our goodbyes and she promised to tell me all about her time with Jasper in the morning. She also expected me to do the same about Edward…

When I entered my room I half expected for it to be empty. But there he was, laid straight atop the giant, round bed. His eyes were closed but I knew he was awake; he was running his hand through his already messy hair. I closed the door with a light click and walked over to my side of the bed.

Just as I was about to lie down, there on the side table lay the Jane Austen books. I stared at them then turned my head to face Edward. His eyes were still closed… so I smiled, big and toothy. I climbed on the bed with the smile still etched on my face and closed my eyes.

"Goodnight Bella," he whispered softly.

"Goodnight Edward," I said in a hushed tone.

I do not know what it meant but I felt the change… Still I was too wounded to hope.

**There you go! What do you all think? Is Eddie Boy on the road to redemption yet? Love to hear what you all have to say! **

**Review = you know what**

**Luvs, **

**Ishey- EJ **


	13. Improvements

**Disclaimer: Twilight's not mine **

**Thank you to everyone who reviewed. I have officially gotten up to 500 reviews and I am thrilled! Huge shout out to EVERYONE, my girls at Twilighted, my reviewers, promoters, even to the larkers out there **

**I know that everyone is patiently waiting for a kiss between ExB and some of you are even asking our Eddie Boy to take the stick out of his arse and do the deed. It will happen guys and when it does it will be SMEXY… but I'm not going to jump right into it. Like I said before, I hate easy love stories and YAMLN will not be one of them. Trust me. You guys will love what I have planned. Love you all! **

**Here it is **

Chapter 13 – Improvements

"You know, Mr. Cullen, tis' not polite to stare." I smirked as I looked up from my book.

He was still standing in front of the mirror with a frustrated expression on his face. I gazed at him from head to toe taking in his appearance. He looked exceptionally handsome today. The dark blue suit he wore was tailored perfectly for his structure. He stood tall, lean and gorgeous… yet his expression almost had me laughing uncontrollably.

I stood up and put my book away, whilst his eyes were still on me. I walked up to the dresser where he was standing with the façade of getting my purse. From the corner of my eye, I saw the bowtie that I knew he was cursing to hell, clasped in his hand.

I almost sniggered. Then regaining my composure, I said, "Well, I shall wait for you by the carriages. I am sure everyone has already left."

I looked up at him and saw his lips pucker into a childish pout. He looked so irritated with something and I knew for sure the cause of that. I turned around and started for the door.

"Isabellaaaa…" his voice croaked.

"Yes?" I asked without turning to face him.

It was silent for a couple of second before I heard him sigh, "I need your help." He said in a defeated tone.

My smirk grew more pronounced as I turned to face him. "Whatever would you need my help for?" I said in a phoney surprised voice. I heard him grumble something incoherent.

"What was that?" I asked.

Edward sighed again and looked up pleadingly, "Would you tie my bowtie for me?" I watched as he ran his hands through his hair and stared at the ground.

"I am sure you can manage, Mr. Cullen," I glared at him and remembered the last time I tried to help him.

Edward closed his eyes shut and balled his hands into tight fists. It seemed that he remembered as well. Then suddenly his posture relaxed and he looked up from underneath his lashes with a smothering look.

"Please," he breathed.

I froze then felt a shiver go down my spine. We both stared at each and I, for one, was mesmerized. I cleared my throat and took a step towards him. He realized what I was doing and stood up straight. He was unbelievably tall or maybe I was too short, but either way, I had to crane my head up to look him in the eyes.

"Here," he suggested and placed a foot rest between us. I eyed it doubtfully; Edward sighed, "Take a step up on it, Bella."

As carefully as I could, I placed my left foot on the foot rest. Then my right… but as all things happen in my world, my clumsiness took over. The train of my gown got caught between my feet and I started to fall. _I really should not have expected anything else._ I shut my eyes tightly and waited to hit the cold, hard floor but instead I was met Edward's warm hands. He caught me and held me up straight.

Gradually, I opened my eyes to see him staring at me with a peculiar expression. He did not remove his hands from where they were placed on my waist and I could do nothing but stare right back into his bright emerald orbs. At that moment, I could have sworn I heard his breath hitch.

Suddenly, he cleared his throat and slipped the bowtie in between my fingers. I felt a tingling sensation from where our fingers touched. Slowly, I took a deep breathe then reached out to lace the bowtie around his collar. I felt _my_ breath hitch when his hands tightened on my waist. _Why hadn't he let go? _With shaky fingers I tied the bowtie and gave it a final tug. Then I let my hands drop.

Edward was still staring at me.

I lowered my eyes and waited for him to let go.

He never did.

I felt heat rising to my cheeks by every passing second. Cautious and embarrassed, I lifted my eyes to his. What I saw staggered me. He looked so pained and desperate. His eyes held a million regrets and sorrows. The way his lips were set in a thin line made me feel as if he were restraining himself.

"But_ from what?" _I questioned myself.

He was in battle with himself and little by little I saw the resolve on his face. My eyes widened…His jaw clenched and the green orbs that always captivated me darkened.

Then leisurely he dragged his right hand all the way up to my neck and rested it against my pulse. My skin felt like it was on fire, yet I did not move. Then, very carefully, as if I was made of the most delicate glass, his fingers caressed my cheekbone. I looked away from his intense gaze; Edward let out a shuddering breath.

"We need to go," his voice sounded strained as it broke through our haze.

I only nodded and let him help down from the foot rest. He immediately removed his hands as soon as I was safely on the ground. I did not mind his actions. I, myself, needed some distance and time to figure out what had just happened.

There were more people and carriages here than I had ever seen in my entire life. Alice had given me some prior warning for this. She explained how the Newton family were rich and powerful but also mindless and shallow. By what Alice had said, I realized that the Cullens barely tolerated them. Yet here we were, at the grand opening of the Newton Hotel.

Alice had me dressed in the most expensive and uncomfortable gown she could put her hands on. Since it was my first ball, outside the family, Alice thought it was ok to go to such extremes, but as we walked up to the entrance, I started to feel thankful for Alice's hard work. Otherwise, it would have been impossible for me to fit in.

Edward had not said a word throughout the whole carriage ride. He seemed a bit lost in his thoughts. In fact, I was too. Edward's behaviour over the past couple of days has been suspicious but pleasant. He has made a thorough effort to make life easier for us.

To my surprise, I have actually started to feel comfortable in his presence. Still, that does not explain what had happened in the room. The air around us was charged with electricity. I felt like I was under a spell…and his expression, I am sure, will haunt me in my dreams.

"THE CULLENS!" someone's exclamation broke me from my reverie.

Beside me I felt Edward tense.

A very obnoxious looking man made his way over to us. His blond hair was slicked back and looked terrible against his round face. He wore an ugly orange waistcoat with thick buttons. The way he smugly strutted forward made me certain that he owed this grand hotel. _The rich but mindless Newton, _I recalled. He finished talking animatedly with Carlisle and Esme when we walked closer to huge wooden crafted doors.

Then his eyes landed on me. His thin, chapped lips curled into wide grin as he let eyes wander over my body. I, suddenly, felt very uncomfortable.

He slowly walked to us, "Ah, the new Mrs. Cullen!" Without warning he grabbed my hand and kissed it wetly. I was disgusted.

"I, milady, am Michael Newton." He introduced himself. I tried my best to hide my grimace and pulled my hand away.

"Pleasure to meet your acquaintances," I said politely. That seemed to brighten his spirits and his smile broadened

"I have to say, Edward, you have gotten yourself a lovely wife," he leered without taking his eyes off me. I cringed back with great discomfort into Edward's arm. To my incredulity, he did not object my sudden closeness. I looked up at him and searched his face for some answers.

He was not looking at me. He was staring directly ahead with a stony expression. I felt his hand slip from the small of my back to around my waist slowly,as if he wanted to prove a point.

"Yes, I believe I have," Edward said curtly. My eyes widened. Then he turned to face down at me, "We should head inside." I nodded my mind completely blank.

"Of course, let me show you the way!" Mr. Newton exclaimed. He seemed to be talking solely to me.

I kept my eyes on the ground as we entered the new building. Alice and Rose explained how the Newtons begged Carlisle to build it on the Cullen land. They apparently paid a whole lot of money for it.

"And you should see what…" Michael continued his speech as if I were listening. I was worried. Edward had yet to say another word. His whole posture was a little tense, not overly so, but enough for me to feel a difference. Since I was literally wrapped up in his arm, it was hard to miss.

Michael stopped, suddenly, and pointed toward the long dinner tables, "Well, Mrs. Cullen I shall let you go for dinner. But do not fret, milady, I shall be back when the dancing begins." He took my hand, quite rudely, and kissed it. _What was wrong with this man! _ I grimaced at his retreating back. I turned to face Edward who also had his eyes trailed on Michael Newton. This time I noticed a hard glint in them.

"Bella, you have arrived!" Alice appeared from nowhere. She was smiling hugely with Jasper by her side. She came forward to give me a hug but then stopped narrowing her looked between me and Edward and then rested her eyes on his arm that was still around me. In a second, her whole expression changed and she smirked noticeably. I felt a blush cover my face.

"Come, Bella, you must meet the guests!" Alice exclaimed clearing the awkwardness.

I must have met a couple hundred people. But the weird thing was they were all the same. _Superficial._ That was all. London high society was nothing but filled with shallow people. They all asked me the same questions and then were disappointed at my answer. At first I was disappointed in myself but then Alice told me not to worry. They will all gossip tonight then forget about it tomorrow.

It did not escape my attention that a lot of _men _had their eyes on me all night. At first, it was flattering but then I started to get really uncomfortable. It also did not escape my notice that Edward always drew us away when things started to get really awkward. He did not talk much but stayed by my side. I thought that this was the part of his changed demeanour, but after a little while his arm found its way around my waist again. Though he did not meet my gaze, I was a blushing and blubbering mess. I was relieved when dinner was served. We took our seats near the far edge of the long table and I was finally able to breathe a bit.

Dinner was a normal affair. Alice provided most of the conversation. She talked to everyone in a polite and sweet manner; this was her forte. I smiled whenever it was necessary and Edward was as usual quiet. I watched him shyly and tried to figure out what was on his mind. He was truly lost in thought. He had a faraway look on his face like he was trying to solve a mystery.

I had a sudden urge to reach out to him, to touch him… and I did. His head snapped towards where my hand covered his. All of a sudden, I felt very stupid and self-conscious. What was I thinking? I quickly removed my hand but not before he caught my eye. His face was so intense I could barely blink. His green eyes sparkled like he had just had an epiphany.

I sat there frozen

"Mrs. Cullen," our connection was broken as Michael Newton called on me, "Would you give me the great honour of enjoying a dance with you?"

I looked up uncertain. He was grinning like he already knew my answer. Everyone who was in the hearing distance turned to stare at me. I turned back to look at Edward. What I saw broke my heart a little. He had his head turned away from me as if he did not care what my reply was. I tried to banish all this random hurt and stood up. I did not have a choice.

Michael was ecstatic. He took my hand yet again and started toward the dance floor. I saw Alice and Jasper get up as well. I sent them a small smile. _At least I would not have to be dancing alone with _him, I shuddered. The music started to play and I groaned silently. It was a waltz. Michael put his arms around me all too eagerly and stepped closer to me than compulsory. I could smell the wine on his breath…

The dance began and I awkwardly followed his lead. I kept my eyes firmly averted from his and did my best to not start panicking. That would embarrass not only me but the Cullens as well. Still, his closeness made me cower.

"How do you like the hotel?" He asked boisterously.

"Tis' wonderful," I answered politely. I felt his hand slide down my back. I felt repulsed.

"Yes, well tis' my hobby of sort…" he bragged. I only nodded. The dance had only begun and I could not wait for it to end. A second later my prayers were answered.

A hand clamped down on Newton's shoulder with force and stopped our dance.

"May I cut in?" Edward did not wait for an answer. He took my hand off from Michael's shoulder and pushed him to the side without another glance. Edward put my hand on his own shoulder and wrapped his arms around me. From the corner of my eye I saw Michael huff as he left.

"Forgive me, Isabella," Edward whispered. I raised my eyebrows in question. He sighed and stared intently at me. Then with no effort at all he started to move his feet. He kept a firm hold on me and moved us across the floor. I was surprised by how gracefully he danced; I felt like we were flying. It was the first time we danced together but it felt so…natural. I felt like I belonged there even though his scent and touch was giving me a hard time with coherency.

"Mr. Cullen, you…" I began but he silenced me by putting his finger on my mouth. His eyes grew wide when my lips parted under his finger. He removed his hand gently and looked a little panicked.

"You are not fond of Mr. Newton, eh?" I smiled at him to let him know I appreciated that he saved me from the awkwardness with Newton. "Neither am I," I whispered. He answered by smiling crookedly and I blushed.

"Would you like…" Edward immediately stopped what he was about to say and contemplated what he wanted. I gave him an encouraging look and he finally asked, "Would you like to head back home? I mean, if you want… I do not want to make you uncomfortable."

Edward nervously looked anywhere but at me. He was so sweet and adorable. _Wait, what?_ I shook my head to clear it. Edward saw my movement and mistook it.

"No, I mean yes… yes I would like to go… home," I answered breathlessly. My heart was beating so fast I was sure he could hear it.

"But why would you like to leave?" I asked as the suspiciousness of his question crept into my brain.

Edward gave me a small smirk, "Well I, for one, do not enjoy these functions… and I can tell that you have had enough as well."

He thought for a second while twirling us effortlessly. Even though I did not want to, I was sure I had diminished his plans. Thus, his next words almost made me choke on air. "Yes, but newlyweds are excused of any kinds of rude behaviour. So I am sure our lack of presence will not be bothersome," he had a very prominent smirk on his face now and I had a scarlet blush on mine.

I took a deep breath and willed my embarrassment to go away, "Well if there are no problems then, I would very much like to leave."

Edward glided us around the dance floor twice keeping in time with the music. He was really a very good dancer. Even _I _had no trouble at all. When the waltz was coming to an end Edward changed his direction and very inconspicuously headed towards the huge wooden doors. I smiled at his sneakiness. We reached the doors and I took one last look at the ballroom. No one noticed us as we left.

"We should have let someone know of our departure," I said quietly as I followed Edward on to the dark lane.

"Carlisle knows," he stated. I stopped walking. Was he planning this? What did it mean?

"How?" I asked with a shaky voice. Edward stopped walking as well and turned to face me. He sighed, "He saw us as we left".

_Odd, I did not see him, _I mused. Edward looked around the street. We were standing at the end of the lane where the huge metal gates were. Edward made an aggravated sound, "Wait here… I shall get the carriages." I nodded and he gave me a peculiar look before he left.

An eerie quiet hung in the air as I waited alone. There was one lone lamppost by the gates which I stood underneath. The wind had picked up and it was a little chilly. I shivered and rubbed my hands over my arms. I watched the leaves rustle in the air and unexpectedly I had a very bad feeling. What is taking so long?

Suddenly, I heard a sound coming from the other side of the street. Someone was laughing, very loudly. I gazed at the spot from where I heard laughing and saw a two men standing there. They noticed me just as I did them.

"Well, hello there, Miss!" one of them called. I averted my eyes quickly but not before I saw them stumbled towards me. They were drunk.

"What is a lovely lady, like you, doing out here all alone at night?" the other one asked. I could make out their faces now. Both were heavy looking with breads. The only difference was their heights. They crossed the street and were now a couple of feet away from me.

_I was too scared to answer and stood frozen in my place._

"Well?" the same man said and waited for an answer.

I did not know what else I could do so I answered, "I am waiting for my husband, sir."

"Husband, eh?" The first one deliberated, "Pity."

"Your husband's a lucky bastard," the second leered. They both started laughing menacingly and I cringed back as they advanced towards me. My mind was screaming at me to run but my feet stayed frozen. The stench of alcohol got stronger and my panic grew. My breathing was shallow and I felt tears prick my eyes. Images that I tried to bury in my mind now came in thoroughly emphasized flashes. Oh Lord, help me!

"STEP AWAY FROM HER NOW." His voice broke through my panicked state loud and clear. A sudden rush of relief flooded through me. Edward was back. The drunken men turned their heads and their eyes grew wide. I looked at Edward and fear crept into mind. His expression was livid. The most furious I had ever seen him. His eyes, jaw, body posture, everything screamed of his anger. Seeing Edward's fury, one of the men stepped back, but the other stood his ground. Edward stopped right in front of me and covered me with his body.

"What she to you?" the man drawled.

I saw Edward clench his hands into fist as he went right up to the man's face and seethed, "SHE IS MY WIFE." At that moment I was sure my heart had stopped. The man's eyes landed on me and he sneered licking his lips. At that, Edward took another step forward raising his fist into the air. _Oh no! _My mind screamed. In a swift motion, I caught Edward's arm. His tendons were tight and tense.

"Edward, please," I whispered, "Let us leave." I felt his whole body freeze under my touch and he slowly retracted his arm. But still he did not move back, instead I heard him snarl at the man in front of him, "LEAVE. NOW."

The men stared at him in confined fear then left. I stood there utterly numb. Edward did not move from his position in front of me until the men disappeared into the darkness and the carriage pulled up in front of he walked up and opened the carriage door.

"Get in," he said solemnly. I did as I'm told and let him help me in. He climbed in right after me and shut the door firmly. I sat there and stared at him. He was gazing up at the roof of the carriage. His jaw was strained and the rage was still there on his face. He closed his eyes and pinched the bridge of his nose. He was completely unmoving.

"Are you okay?" I asked.

He sighed, "Sometimes I have trouble with my anger, Bella." His eyes were still closed and he was taking deep breathes.

All of a sudden, he sits up with panic on his face, "Did they hurt you?"

"No, I am fine," I said.

"I am sorry. I should have never left you alone. What was I thinking?" he gripped his hair and sat with his elbows on his knees.

"Tis' not your fault Edward," I said calmly, "It was a pure misfortune; I am not known to have the best of luck."

Edward lifted his head in my direction with same intense gaze that he had given me at dinner. This time I looked away. Something altered between us today. I do not know what but what I do know is that if I do not turn away now, I will get hurt. His looks, sweetness, words unarm me. My anger at him is slowly evaporating and when it does I do not know what will be left behind. I could have handled his hatred or his indifference from the start, but now I do not know what I should do. I accepted my fate. But his actions now scare me. I do not want to fall for him. If I am being truthful to myself, I think I already am, and that is exactly what I wanted to avoid. I do not want more pain.

When we arrived back to the house, I went straight to the bedroom to get changed. But that turned out to be a more difficult task than I planned. Alice had put me into a very difficult gown with tiny buttons on the back. I could not even get one open.

I huffed. Nobody was home and all the servants went off duty early. I really needed to get out of this gown. I stood in front of the vanity and glared at my reflection.

Then the door opened and Edward stepped in. He was already dressed for bed with a book in his hand. He watched me standing there with a confused look. Precipitously, my face turned red. I needed help to get changed and there was nobody home except him

"Is everything alright?" he asked casually as he headed towards the bed. _O Lord, what am I to do? Will he help me? What will he think of me if I ask him such a thing?_ All these thoughts ran through my head rapidly. I could just not change. But I _really_ needed to; the gown was unbelievably itchy.

So I took a deep breath and prayed he understood my circumstances, "I...I... n…need your help." _Was this exactly not what he asked me this morning? _

He cocked an eyebrow and I think he remembered the morning's events as well, "Okay, what would you like?" he sounded confused more than anything.

I was so embarrassed, no doubt my face was tomato coloured. I did not look him in the eyes when I asked, "C-could you p-please unbutton my gown?"

Silence.

It was unnervingly quiet for a very long moment. I was mortified beyond words. _ O what he must be thinking of me! _I exclaimed. The silence stretched on until I could not stand it anymore. Hesitantly, I looked up from under my lashes. There he stood in the middle of the room just gaping at me with parted lips. I looked down at the floor and tried to explain myself, "The gown is really uncomfortable and itchy. Alice forced me into it… I –I cannot get the buttons open myself and there's no one home … or else I would have asked them." I was blabbing and it was even more mortifying than before.

I looked up at Edward and begged with my eyes for him to understand. He gazed back at me then cleared his throat, "Yes, tis' not a problem…" He put his book on the bed and walked towards me. My heartbeat grew as he neared.

"Umm…" he gestured for me to turn around, my blush deepened as I did. The gown was soft white and sparkly and the pearl buttons on the back were its finest feature. Still, I cursed Alice for putting me into the gown in the first place.

I looked into the mirror and saw Edward staring at me yet again. He looked away but I kept my eyes on him. I saw him look at the buttons with puzzled expression. But then his face cleared and he put his hands on me. I stood straight and concentrated on my breathing. _What was happening to me? _I felt him unbutton three of the pearls and the gown loosened a bit. I held on to the front tightly. He unbuttoned two more pearls and I felt goose bumps rising on my back as I felt the air on my back. I closed my eyes and shivered delicately…right then I heard Edward's intake of breath. My eyes snapped open and he looked directly into my eyes. We stared at each other as he unbuttoned the last three pearls. Leisurely, his fingers trailed down back with last pearl. I shivered again but not from the cold this time.

Edward noticed that. He turned around sharply and went back to the bed without another glance at me but I did notice that his hands were balled into fists again. I nearly sprinted to the bathroom before anything else could happen. I took my time changing into my night gown. I needed to think.

Today, in fact, the past couple of days have been so _intense _with Edward. He is not brusque or intolerable now but whenever we are around each other my emotions felt out of control. I did not know if he senses it too. But whatever happened back in the room I was sure he felt something. When I re-entered I saw that Edward was already in bed with a book in his hand. I went around to my side and lay down. I was emotionally too tired to read myself.

"No Austen tonight?" Edward mocked.

I smiled at the fact that he was acting normal. Over the past three days, ever since we went to the bookstore, Edward and I have been constantly ribbing each other on our literature choices. I turned over on my left to face him. He had his eyes on the book he was reading and a smile on his face.

"No, Mr. Cullen, I thought that tonight I could spare you the agony of even looking at good literature," I teased.

He scoffed, "Good literature is what I am reading now."

I giggled, "Have you finally decided to read Pride and Prejudice then?"

Edward gawked at me and then he shook his head, "Go to sleep, Isabella." I smirked and closed my eyes. It was the first night I slept with a smile on my face.

I awoke later that night. My eyes just flew open and my heart was pounding rapidly. The moonlight shown through the windows and something very heavy was draped on my body. My mind drowsily registered that fact that it was Edward.

_O not again! _

I was lying in the middle of the bed with Edward as my blanket. He was on his stomach with one of his legs between mine and his arm lay heavily across my chest. Groggily, I lifted my arms up to his sides where I knew he was ticklish and I began to move my hands. But unexpectedly Edward lifted his head up and looked straight at me.

At first, nothing made sense because of my exhaustion. We only stared at each other dumbfounded. I could not tell whether he just woke up or if he was not asleep at all. My eyes were drooping. I could not stay awake any longer. I was barely conscious of the fact that Edward tightened his hold on me. His arm that was on top across my chest curled underneath me and he crushed me to his chest. I knew for sure I was dreaming when he put his head back into the crook of my neck and kissed it.

**There you go! What did you all think? Please review and let me know **

**Also visit YAMLNs thread for additional teasers and pictures. I will be regularly posting them. **

/forum /viewtopic. php?f =44&t= 11732

**REVEIWS = TEASER**

**A TOTAL OF 1000 REVIEWS = EPOV **

**Whatcha' think?**

**Loves,**

**Ishey-EJ**

.

.


	14. Much More

**Disclaimer: Twilight is not magically owned by me now **

**Thank you everyone! The response the last chapter got was overwhelming. I guess you all wanted that EPOV really badly, huh? My offer is still open **** so get reading and reviewing! Thank you so much!**

**Here it is! Happy New Year! **

Chapter 14 – Much More

I gradually opened my eyes and stretched on the bed. The sun shone through the windows but the morning was chilly. I felt an odd sensation of bliss within me and it was not completely unwanted. The bed was much more comfortable than usual… Involuntarily, I smiled. Everything felt so right.

"Good morning Sleeping Beauty!" Her voice broke my peaceful haze. _Where was Edward,_ Was my first thought.

"Alice!" I gasped. She was perched on the edge of my bed looking very dressed up. I slowly sat up and gave her a questioning look. "Are you invited to another ball?" I questioned.

She giggled, "No, we are having guests over. That is why I have bought you a new gown."

"O dear, Alice new gowns again?" I asked in disbelief.

"Whatever do you mean?" She gave me an innocent look but I knew better.

I sighed, "Well, come on then let us see it."

She would drag me to her room anyway.

Alice laughed and clapped her hands. I quickly got out of bed and went straight to her room as I was. There was no point in me changing since Alice was bound order me into ten different gowns all at once.

Rose was in Alice's room when we got there. She had little Henry in her lap, who was staring at the ceiling with wide blue eyes. I smiled and strode over to them, "How's my little nephew today?" I grinned at Rosalie as she placed Henry in my arms.

"Spoiled," Rosalie answered. Her tone was annoyed but the way she was looking at her child with complete adoration contradicted that. I only giggled and kissed the baby in my arms.

"Isabella Cullen, put the child down. Tis' time for gown fittings!" Alice commanded from behind me. I groaned and Rose snorted.

After what seemed like an eternity Alice was finally satisfied with a dark royal blue gown. It was made of silk with black lace in the front. The gown flowed down my body gracefully and I had to admit that even I fell in love with it.

Rose put Henry to bed and was now getting dressed as well. I realized that they were both making a tremendous effort to look agreeable.

"Who exactly is this guest?" I queried suspiciously

Rose met my eyes in the mirror we were both standing in front of. Then, she put down the hairbrush turned to face me.

"One of Carlisle's closest acquaintances," she said slowly, "He is a family friend of sorts."

"Oh, that is nice," I said pleasantly.

"Except that we all hate him," Alice mumbled from behind me from where she styled my hair.

Rose snickered, "Yes and we all detest him."

I swivelled in my sit to gape at them both in shock, "Pardon me?"

Then they told me.

Aro Volturi was his name. He and Carlisle have known each other for a quite a long time. They were close friends before, but now they were just business partners who kept up pretences of being friends. No one knew exactly what had happened to cause such an impact on their friendship but it is a known fact that Aro is a selfish man.

"Then why are they still business partners?" I was completely intrigued. Alice and Rose both sighed.

"Complications," Rose sneered, "Aro is the kind of man who does not go down easily. He is evil. He would have tried to destroy the Cullens and I am not exaggerating!" She gave me a stern look.

It was quiet for two heartbeats as we all absorbed what was said. Then we burst out laughing. I gasped for air and tried to speak, "Is this why… you are all… so dressed up?"

"Oh, no, no that is because of you," Alice spoke up, "Aro is meeting you for the first time and he would be looking for any reason to spread gossip and disgrace Carlisle." I looked at reflection in the mirror with a frown.

"_Is Aro going to be looking for my flaws?" _I thought.

"Not that he will find a reason to disgrace the Cullen name," Rosalie assured. I smiled at her and stood up.

Alice and Rose both stared at me with wide eyes. I squirmed underneath their gaze and gave myself a thorough look. Nothing looked out of the ordinary.

"Is something wrong?" I asked nervously.

I looked up at Rosalie who smirked, "O dear, sweet Bella _everything_ is perfect." Her face was more composed but her tone was mischievous. I was instantly wary.

"Alice?" I raised my eyebrows.

Alice just smiled sweetly and I did not trust her one bit, "You should make sure Edward is ready."

I nodded and left the room. I felt like I was missing out on some joke.

I grimaced and entered the room. Abruptly, I stopped in my tracks when I saw Edward.

He was on one of the sofa chairs. It was placed a bit to the right so he did not see or hear me come in. I was frozen in spot. He looked undeniably handsome as usual, even more so today because of the black suit he wore. It was the first I had ever seen him wear him black. The sharp contrast between his skin and the suit made him look striking… But if I was being honest, that was not the reason for why I was frozen in spot.

There Edward sat completely absorbed in my book, _Pride and Prejudice._

A huge smile tugged at my lips. I stepped further into the room and crossed my arms. "Well, well what do we have here?"

I almost laughed out loud as Edward jumped up. He looked so lost and panicked like a child being caught doing something they should not have been doing. In a poor attempt, he tried to hide the book behind his back. Then he cleared his throat. I walked up to him and pulled on his arm that he held behind his back. At first, he restrained against my tug but then he sighed and gave up. I took the book out of his hand and held it up.

He slowly looked up in surrender, "Isabella, this is not what it looks like."

My smirk grew bigger, "Really, Mr. Cullen, how do you explain yourself?"

He looked down at his shoes then ran a hand through his hand. "I – I was just…" he shrugged and stood up straight, "I was only thinking why you would put yourself through hell reading _that!_"

"How dare you, sir?" I hollered, "You are unbelievable! Wait until Alice hears this!"

I let out an amused giggle and started to walk to the door. Instantaneously, Edward caught my wrist and pulled me back. He turned me to face him and placed his arm firmly on my shoulders. I grinned at him and he gave me annoyed look. The atmosphere around us buzzed with electricity.

"You have to trust me… I would never do such a thing." he growled defensively.

I laughed out loud and pushed his hands away. "I saw you with my own eyes, Edward!"

He glowered at me while I stared right back at him evenly. I knew my face was light with humour." _Hmmm, I am sure Alice and I would share a nice laugh", _I mused playfully. I took a step back watching Edward as I did so. He saw my movement and I knew that he had caught on to my plan. In the blink of an eye, I whirled around and ran towards the door.

"Bella!" Edward yelled after me. I laughed loudly as I saw him run after me. I tried to run faster but it was highly difficult to run in a gown. I almost reached the door when his arm shot out around my waist and pulled me back. I yelped and started laughing harder. Edward warped his other arm around me and half carried, half dragged me into the middle of the room.

"Let me go!" I laughed. I tried to yank away his arms but his hold just grew tighter.

"Not likely," he said in a sombre tone.

"Alice!" I screamed.

So quickly, that I barely knew what happened, Edward spun me around. He put his right hand up and covered my mouth, all the while he held on to my waist tightly by his left.

"Shhhh!" he hissed. My breath was ragged as I slowly took in his expression. His jaw was taut and his forehead was clammy. My eyes widened as I met his fierce and penetrating ones. Then it dawned on me how close I was to him. Our chests were pressed against each other and we were breathing in synchronization. My heart skipped a beat.

Gently, Edward started to retract his hand from my mouth and he softly traced my bottom lip with his thumb. I felt blood rush into my cheeks as he quietly whispered, "Let us keep this incident between us."

I was mesmerized, in a trance, under a spell. I bobbed my head in two slow nods. He leaned in, "Good."

We both stood there in the same position without moving. I felt him about to say something but he hesitated. Finally, he sighed, "By the way, you look… beautiful."

That was when the door slammed open.

"What is happening in here?" Alice shouted. Edward released me and I stood there in utter shock.

"There is no need to yell, Alice," I heard him say. Alice held on to the door knob with a smug look etched to her face.

"Well, stop monopolizing Bella and make haste!" Alice bounced up to me and grabbed my hand as she talked; "Aro is here with…" she stopped abruptly.

"With who Alice?" I heard Edward ask as he followed us out the door. I watched Alice look up at Edward with a worried expression.

Then she answered, "James."

It was quiet for a very long moment. We were all standing in the middle of the hallway and took in what Alice had announced. Alice looked worried. Edward looked impassive.

I was the first to speak, "Who is James?"

It was an innocent enough question but beside me I felt Edward stiffen marginally. His eyes flashed to me and I saw something close to panic there. I turned my head to Alice who had a stony expression; she still watched Edward. I felt as if they were having a silent conversation. Then I saw Alice nod solemnly before her whole demeanour changed and she was back to her bubbly self.

She dropped my hand, "Alright, I shall see you both outside at the front entrance." With that she bounded down the stairs.

Something was wrong and I was sure. _Who is James? _I queried. I would have to wait to find out. I looked up at Edward who was watching me. His eyes were guarded and his jaw was strained. Without a thought, I lifted my hand to touch his face. It was definite that I surprised the both of us.

"Is everything alright?" I whispered with an extremely fast heartbeat. Edward only stared at me with ghost-like eyes before he nodded and took a hold of my hand that was touching his face. At first, I thought he did not want me to touch him but then he squeezed my hand and laced our fingers together. This moment, somehow, felt more intimate then when we were in the bedroom. The electric atmosphere was still there but now it was like a slow burn. The look in his eyes, the shallowness of our breathing, our heartbeats all created a private bubble around us. We stared at each other until I knew one of us had to look away. I was in a dangerous position right now; my emotions felt out of my own control.

"We should go," I cleared my throat. I turned without an answer but Edward held onto my hand. I stopped and he walked up right behind me. Then without any reason, that I could see, he wrapped an arm around my waist.

"Shall we?" he asked. I nodded unable to speak.

The grand carriage was pulled up front. It was made of dark wood and was driven by black horses. Overall, the carriage had a very baleful exterior. For an unknown reason, I started to feel apprehensive. Edward and I slowly walked towards where the rest of the family was standing. I really did not want to meet the people who have arrived in such a disturbing carriage. But this meeting was inevitable.

They stepped out of the carriages one by one. I knew it was Aro the moment I saw him. He looked to be a bit older than Carlisle with the wrinkles on his face. Otherwise, he was just an average looking man with blue eyes, jet black hair, and a medium height. At first glance, Aro did not seem hate worthy but as I stared at him I could feel the uneasiness come to me in full force.

Carlisle and Esme greeted him warmly. They were followed by the rest of the family. Everyone huddled around Aro as if they not an ounce of abhorrence for him. It was not an overly sweet greeting but merely polite tolerance. Edward and I stood in our place. I had a feeling that he waited for something.

Just then another man stepped out of the carriage. James. He was tall, blonde and daunting with eyes as black as coal and a gaze that could cut through diamonds. Well, that is how I felt when his eyes connected with mine as soon as his feet were on the ground. He stared at me with maliciousness in his expression and I was suddenly very scared. He was here for a reason.

"And this must be the lovely Isabella…" My eyes flew towards where the rest were standing. Aro was in the middle of everyone looking at me with interest.

"Yes," Carlisle spoke from beside him. His lips were set in a tight line; he was not happy.

Deliberately, Aro strolled up to me and Edward with a creepy smile on his face. "Such a lovely couple!" he said delighted. He stopped in front of us and scrutinized. He was evaluating us.

I looked over at Alice who was watching us with wide eyes. I started to panic when suddenly Rosalie gave me a pointed look. I took a deep breath; I knew what to do, "Pleasure to meet you, Mr. Volturi." I gave him fake smile.

Aro raised his eyebrows as if he didn't expect me speak. "Pleasure is mine, my dear… I am so glad you have gotten yourself such an exquisite wife, Edward!" The way he said it made me feel like a piece of property. Aro had a hard glint in his eyes as they raked from me to Edward.

"So am I Aro. How are you?" Edward asked stiffly. I looked up at Edward and saw that his was completely cold and impassive.

"O I am absolutely fine!" Aro answered happily, then he looked at me, "I am truly sorry that we missed your wedding… it happened on very short notice." I nodded in understanding but I felt a sense of discomfort when he said that.

Aro smiled, "Well, I am sure you can find it in yourself to forgive me… Have you met my nephew?" He gestured to the man behind him and I felt fear rise up in my chest.

James slowly sauntered over to where we stood; his eyes fixated on me. I felt so exposed under his gaze; I had an urge to cover up my body. It was like he was undressing me with his gaze. He stopped right in front of me and held out his hand, "James Volturi." I felt Edward's arm tense around me as James took my kissed the back of it.

"And you are?" James cocked his eyebrow. I was pretty certain he knew exactly who I was but I had no clue why he wanted to me say it out loud.

"Isabella…" I stopped. For some reason, I did not know what to refer to as my last name. All I could think of was the fact that Edward never wanted me to be his wife.

James waited for me to finish.

"Cullen," Edward spoke firmly, "Isabella Cullen, my wife and Mrs. Cullen to _you_."

All the air whooshed out of my lungs. Astonishment covered my features even though I tried to hide it. Why did he say that? I looked up at Edward; he was glaring at James. James only smiled.

"Edward," James nodded a greeting. Edward did not say a word back and everyone just stared at one another in an awkward silence. James started to roam his eyes over me again and stared blatantly at my chest. I was mortified.

Beside me I could feel the tension radiating out Edward. He knew exactly what James was doing. I looked over at Alice and Rosalie who had anger and disgust written all over them. Emmett looked downright menacing. Suddenly he started to walk, with his fist clenched, right to James.

"Shall we head inside?" I heard Esme ask quickly. Emmett paused and gave her a disbelieving look. She only gave him patient one in return.

"Of course, lead the way!" Aro exclaimed. Everyone filed towards the doors. Emmett was right on James' heels and Carlisle gave Edward a sharp look when he walked by. They disappeared into the house. When I started to walk Edward swiftly pulled me back. I gave him a questioning look. He huffed out a sigh and ran a hand through his hair. Then, to my utter surprise, he unbuttoned his coat.

"Put this on," he handed me his coat. Then I understood and my heart swelled at his simple gesture. I put my shaking arms through his coat and buttoned it up. We did not say a word to each other and went inside.

Dinner started out casually. Everyone was seated and nobody asked any questions about my attire. James did look at me once when I entered the dining room but then quietly sat in his seat and stared into space. I sat between Rosalie and Emmett with Edward in front of me. Little conversations started around the room but I could mostly only hear Aro question Carlisle about Jasper. Alice looked as if she was going to stab him.

I ate my dinner in silence and I caught Edward looking at me several times. It was not awkward at all. Something changed between us, I do not know when or where but I felt it. Was it him?

"So, Isabella, tell us about yourself," Aro probed. I looked up at him nervously. What could I say?

"Well, I grew up in Greenwich with my parents as an only child…" I began but was abruptly cut off by James' nasty voice, "And your parents are?" he asked.

I jutted my chin out without meeting his eyes and answered, "Charles and Renee Swan." I picked up my spoon and resumed eating. I realized that my hand was shaking.

"Well there's a name I have not heard in years! Charles Swan?" Aro exclaimed. _Aro Volturi knew my father!_ My mind screamed at me, _this cannot be good… _I kept my eyes trailed on the china in front of me. My palms were starting to get sweaty and my heartbeat had increased.

"How is he?" Aro continued. He was obviously clueless.

I raised my eyes slightly and spoke, "He passed away." My voice was emotionless. I did not offer any details and kept my posture stiff.

"So sorry to hear that, he was a good man…" Aro said in a remorseful tone. I only nodded and hoped that someone would change the subject.

"I heard he was under a lot of debt," James spoke again and at that moment I simply hated him. He reminded me of all those people that harassed my mother and I until my father was on his death bed. They were cruel fiends and nothing more.

I looked directly at James and glared, "He repaid them." My tone was strong and held no argument. James regarded me curiously before his whole face changed into a cold, threatening mask, "I wonder how…"

That was all he said.

But that was all it took for my face to go completely ashen. My vision blurred as my heart stammered. My hands shook even more than before. My breath turned to short gasps. I felt drained.

He knew.

James knew.

I closed my eyes tightly and tried with all my might to keep the memories away. Then I took slow, deep breaths to calm myself. That's when I felt it, the electricity, the tingles, and Edward's gaze. I opened my eyes and was met with his concentrated green one. Bit by bit, he brought me out of my own personal hell. His eyes held mine until I was focused solely on him. He did not judge nor did he have a look of pity on his face. All I could see was pure compassion but I knew that was because he knew nothing.

"Charles was a good man and he will be remembered by that," Carlisle spoke. He gave me a kind hearted smile which I tried to return unsuccessfully.

"Yes, let us talk of happier times!" Aro exulted. I continued eating and Aro went on and his told tales. I was not really listening. I caught Edward's eye again and smiled shyly. To my great delight, he returned it.

"Have you not heard?" Aro practically shouted. He was buzzing with excitement. Everyone turned to hear what he had to say, "My dear, James, has decided to propose!"

I heard distinct gasps from everyone at the table and very separate snicker from Emmett as he mumbled, "To what unlucky lady?" Under his breathe. Carlisle cleared his throat and gave Emmett a disapproving look.

"That wonderful," Esme said sweetly, "Who is the lucky lady?"

At that Emmett burst into loud cackles. Everyone waited patiently as he hooted and banged his fist on the table. Finally, he cleared his tears away and sighed like nothing had happened. I saw Esme trying to maintain her glare but her lips twitched with amusement. Then she back to Aro with an apologetic expression; he looked aggregately wounded.

"You were saying?" Esme questioned again.

Aro cleared his throat and announced, "Ah yes, James has chosen the lovely Miss Tanya Denali to be his wife. I say tis' about time! They have been courting for almost five years now!"

Silence.

Complete and utter soundlessness filled the room.

My mind could not come up with one coherent thought. Shock was my initial reaction. I knew everyone else felt the same way. No one dared to look at him but I could not resist. Slowly, I lifted my eyes towards Edward.

Shock. Pain. Grief. Hatred. Anger.

The emotions played out on Edward's face one by one. Posture was stiff, muscles rigid and his jaw taut. His spoon was clenched so tightly in his hand that I thought it might snap. He was staring at his plate unblinkingly.

Fleetingly, his eyes snapped to mine and the glare that I received brought tears to my eyes. Yet, I did not look away. I begged him with my eyes to not push me away, to not ruin the easy companionship that we had created… I begged him to not leave me for his past. I sat there hopeless.

Carlisle eventually started a conversation. He congratulated James as was politely necessary then engaged Aro in on another topic. Edward never looked at me again. Soon dinner was over and Carlisle and Emmett took our guests out to the gardens; they were followed by Esme with tea. Alice and I sat in the parlour and waited for Rosalie who was gone to check on Henry.

Edward just completely vanished.

I looked over at Alice who gave me a sympathetic smile and patted my hand. I could see that she was worried as well but she hid it better than I did. "He will be back," she said reassuringly. I said nothing in return. All I could think about was the fact the Edward was emotionally distressed right now and he had disappeared without saying a word to anybody. Anything could happen to him!

Rose walked in not a couple minutes later with Henry in her arms. She sat down in front of me. Then without looking up she said, "He did not deserve that."

My head snapped up, "What?" I said, barely coherent.

"What do you think happened today, Bella?" Rosalie asked still busy with Henry, "Why do _you _think Edward was so upset?"

I looked from her to Alice and tried to gather my thoughts, "Well, the fact that James is proposing to Tanya. Since, he is in love with her than he is bound to be upset by that." My stomach churned when I said that. Bile rose in my throat. _Did he love her? _ I felt depression creep through me.

"Bella he is not—" Alice started to say but was cut off by Rosalie. "Wait please, Alice. I need to tell her this."

Rosalie finally looked up. She gave me and intent stare before continuing, "Aro had said James had courted Tanya for five years now, correct?" she raised her eyebrows in question. I nodded; I did not understand what she was saying. What had that to do with anything?

"Bella," Rose spoke this seriously. Alice squeezed my hand and Rosalie declared, "Edward and Tanya separated only three years ago.

At first, I could only stare at them dumbfounded. Then it all sank in. Tanya was unfaithful and Edward only found out today… after all this time! _Oh dear God! _ I shrieked in my mind. Was there no justice in the world? O what he must be going through? Why? Tears spilled over my cheeks as Edward pain became mine.

"Did you know?" I whispered. Surely, she would have done something. But Rosalie shook her head in denial.

"No, I had no idea," She sighed heavily, "But he will be fine now…" I looked at her disbelievingly. She looked backed me evenly before continuing her sentence, "Because he has you."

The hours passed in broad misery. Alice and Rose tried to keep my attention but my mind kept wondering back to Edward. Where was he? Was he ok? When is he going to come home? My thoughts were havoc.

Aro and James left with a quiet goodbye. In fact, they barely even said goodbye. James was already settled in the carriage while Aro talked to Carlisle alone. Happily, I watched their dreary carriage drive away. I hated them for what they had caused and I glad to get rid of them. Also, I wished to never see James again in my life.

Soon after they were gone Alice suggested that I get some sleep. I told her that she was out of her mind if she thought I could sleep but nonetheless, she had me changed and in bed within the next hour.

"He will be here when you wake, I know it. Now sleep!" She gave me a tight hug then left the room.

I laid there in bed and thought. Why did this happen to Edward? Did he still love her? How did I feel about that? I knew my feelings for Edward were changing but to what? I do not even know who he even was to me. I liked the new side of Edward that I have gotten to know over the past two weeks. He was sweet, silly, fun, and he seemed so sincere to me. My heart stuttered every time I saw his beautiful smile. When he touched me everything was perfect. I knew the beginning of our marriage was horrific so, what was this I was feeling? This new foreign emotion that was strong and wonderful at the same time.

I got up off the bed when my silent tears turned into quiet gasps. Why was I so upset? I knew about Tanya and came to except that he had a past but why does it hurt now? In the bottom of my heart I knew answer to that. The thought of Edward heartbroken over Tanya was nauseating.

_How pathetic! _I sobbed. I tried to take deep breathes and paced back and forth around the room. Hours must have passed, it was the middle of the night, but there was still no sign of Edward. I was really starting to worry when suddenly I heard something. It faintly resembled to footsteps but I could not be sure. Something was off.

That was when the door opened.

_Edward! _

He stepped into the room and closed the door behind him stumbling a bit. Then he slowly turned around and bumped into the side table. I gasped and his head turned in my direction. We watched each for a long moment.

"Bellllaaa," he drawled my name with a crooked smile. I felt my breathe hitch. Then precipitously I strode right up to him with tears in my eyes. His eyes drooped; they were red and puffy. His hair was its usual disarray. His clothes were crinkled and just like his breath they reeked of alcohol. I was horror-struck.

Edward was drunk.

I stood directly in front of him and took in his appearance. I took in a shuddering breath. He could barely keep his eyes open! How much did he drink? His green orbs were glazed over and full, pink lips were parted slightly. He looked so tired but even drunk he was beautiful… Desperately, I raised my hand to his face. I saw his smile disappear and he brusquely turned his back to me; he wobbled. "Stay away from me, Bella" he warned in a hushed voice. I could hear his pain laced in every word.

"No," I choked out, "Look at me, Edward." I stood my ground and waited for him to turn around. I saw his hand clench tight into a fist before slowly faced me again. His expression was hostile but this time I saw right through him. This time I was not letting go.

We both kept our gazes on each other. I was sure he knew I was not going down without a fight. Edward looked away first but I did not feel any closer to victory. He laughed ruthlessly. Then he looked at me straight in the eyes, his drunken state forgotten.

"She was beautiful," Edward began. His voice was deadpanned and his face blank. The moment he said it I knew he was talking about Tanya. "She had the most striking blue eyes and strawberry blonde hair. She had a certain charm about her that every man desired." My heart plummeted at his words. He _does _love her. It was always _her!_ There was no hope for me to contain my tears. They flowed freely. Edward was watching my every move, my every emotion that played out on my face. He took a step towards me and I took a step back. "She was witty." He took another step forward; I took another back. "She was talented." My heart was heavy and I was barely holding my sobs in. He loves her. Not me. He took another step in my direction and I took another back yet again. "She was high class." That was another thing to add to my list of insecurities. _Of course, he would want someone rich! _He stepped forward. I stepped back. I realized that my back touched the wall. I was trapped. This time he came and stood straight in front of me. He was close, dangerously close. I could almost taste the alcoholic scent that came off of him. Our breathing was ragged and my tears still flowed. He bent his head until our faces were merely inches away. His expression was fully guarded. "She was perfect in every sense of the word," he whispered. Our breathing mingled together and I did not even try to hide the cry that escaped from my throat. _I meant nothing to him. _I looked away from his gaze and tried to control myself. I will not cry in front of him anymore. But then I felt his hand on my neck and my knees almost gave out. Instinctively, my eyes flew to his and what I saw there staggered me even more. Edward was looking back at me with the most tender expression that I have ever seen on anyone's face. He put his forehead on mine and said, "But you know what, love?" I stood there frozen as he put his lips on my cheek and kissed my tears away. "You are much more."

Jolt disbelief went through my body. I gasped in much needed air into my lungs and stared at Edward with wide eyes. His eyes drooped but stared back at me with a peaceful smile. His whole expression exulted with serenity. In a dreamlike daze, I felt him cup my cheek with large, warm hand. My breathing fastened when I saw the change of expression of his face.

The next thing I knew was his lips were a millimeters apart from mine. He did not move and we just stood there for god knows how long. My stomach was clenched in anticipation. My hands and knees were shaking but I did not dare move away.

My heart stopped as Edward bent forward and closed the distance between us.

As soon as our lips touched, I felt the spark of electricity run through my veins. For a second, neither of us moved. I relished the feel of our lips close together. Then, slowly, he started to move his lips and gave me chaste kisses. My heart soared. I copied his movements and followed his lead. My heartbeat grew quicker. Leisurely, he slid his hand down my neck and my lips parted. It was exactly like he had done on our wedding day. I sighed in surprised contentment and he froze. My eyes opened in slight panic. Why did he stop? Edward had his eyes open too and he was watching me with the strangest expression. An expression that made my heart pound in my chest and stomach do summersaults. It was raw.

In a flash, Edward had both his hands wound tightly around my waist as he picked me up and shoved me into the wall behind us. His lips crashed onto mine. Confused, breathless my lips parted again and this time he plunged his tongue right into my mouth. O my Lord! He clashed his tongue with mine in reverence and explored my mouth quite thoroughly. His mouth was hot and I could taste the whisky and wine he had drunk. I started to feel dizzy as he stroked his tongue with mine over and over again. I needed air but did not want him to stop. Having him pressed against me, with his mouth on mine and his hand deviously kneading my waist was the most miraculous feeling ever!

I let out a breathless moan and his arms squeezed me securer. He sucked on my bottom lip before unhurriedly; he put me down back on the ground. I shivered and gasped loudly and waited for my head to clear. Little by little, I opened my eyes gazed into his marvellous green ones. I gaped at him wide eyed. What had just happened?

**So, what did you think? Let me know in a review **** And trust me when I say you guys WANT an EPOV. Special thanks to gktrina who helped me has helped me so much! Love you girl! **

**Until next time…**

**Ishey-EJ**

.

.

.


	15. Enough

**Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight**

**Hey everyone! Thank you for being so patient for this update. RL has been really crazy for me lately but I tried to update as soon as possible. The response for the last chapter was overwhelming. I want to thank everyone who reviewed. I usually try and reply back but this time it just seemed impossible. Hopefully you all enjoy this EPOV and help me reach the 1000 review mark! **

**Here it is!**

**EPOV **

Chapter 15 – Enough

My head hurt. No my head torturously hurt. I was extremely uncomfortable too. There was aching in my joints and sweat covered every inch of my body. Ugh, I felt disgusting. Slowly I tried to open my eyes and groaned in pain at the brightly lit room.

Ughh...

I breathed deeply through my nose and cringed at the burning sensation in my throat. My mind was still half asleep as I sluggishly sat up on the bed. I held my pounding head in my hand,pulled at my hair for the pain to go away. I yawned loudly and then winced at the pain in my throat.

"_Why am I pain"? I groaned._

I sat motionless with my mind on edge, as if it were trying to remind me of something, something really important. Bit by bit, glimpses of yesterday flashed through my mind, Bella's book, Aro and James' visit, James' wandering eye, Aro's announcement… I gulped and felt the familiar tightening in my chest. Yes, now I understood why I was in so much pain. With another groan, I fell back on the bed letting yesterday's thoughts consume me.

_It was obvious that Bella was truly heartbroken over her father's death but I did not expect her to look so pained when Aro questioned her about her parents. Aro seemed delighted to hear of Charles Swan, my late father-in-law, but I could tell Bella was taken aback by his recognition. I, too, was not aware that Aro knew Bella's father. I hoped that someone would change the subject because Bella looked so uncomfortable. But, of course, that bastard spoke up. _

"_I heard he was under a lot of debt," that poor excuse of a man spat.. My eyes flickered towards Bella and all I saw was hatred in her features. She jutted out her chin and spoke firmly, "He repaid them." I felt pride bubble in my chest at her posture. I smiled and hoped she would look my way again. _

"_I wonder how…"I heard that asshole speak again. I ignored his comment and stared at Bella. At first, I thought she would ignore him just as I had, but then I saw her expression change. Her face contorted into a painful, ashen mask and her eyes glazed over. She closed her eyes as if something burned; her hands were shaking._

_At that moment, I realized that there was something in Bella's past that she was hiding.. There was something that made her look like the painful sight before me. There was something that she was trying to forget and that asshole who sat beside me made her remember. I wanted to throw him out of this house but I knew that Bella was more important at that moment. So, I kept my eyes on her and waited until she would look up at me. Eventually, she raised her head slowly. Her gorgeous brown eyes that I now admit always captivate me, gazed back at me. We stared at each other. I tried to take her out of her own personal hell with gentle expression. She was too innocent to feel so much hurt. _

_Carlisle spoke up then, "Charles was a good man and he will be remembered by that." I could see tears swimming in Bella's eyes at Carlisle's words. There really was something about her father that caused her agony. I decided I would ask her about it in private when the time was right. It could not be that bad. _

_For once, I was glad Aro decided to speak; the man could not handle tension. I only paid half attention to what he had to say. Instead, I caught Bella's eye and smiled. A tiny blush covered her cheeks. I grinned down at my food. She was too cute; the smallest of things could make her blush._

"_Have you not heard?" Aro practically shouted. He was buzzing with excitement. Everyone turned to hear what he had to say, "My dear, James, has decided to propose!" _

_At his words, I felt a huge smirk come over my face. _So the bastard is off to ruin someone's life, _I thought smugly. Emmett even laughed. Good. _

"_Ah yes, James has chosen the lovely Miss Tanya Denali to be his wife. I say tis' about time! They have been courting for almost five years now!" his words rang through my ears and left a hallow ringing behind. _

_Miss Tanya Denali!_

_James has chosen Miss Tanya Denali_

_I felt my muscles tense and my jaw lock. His words ran through my head over and over again. Waves of emotion came over me. _What did he mean James chose Tanya? _My mind roared _she does not love him!

_I stared at my food as the shock wore off and anger bubbled inside my chest. That bastard probably forced her hand and I did nothing to stop him. My breathing hastened. Unexpectedly, a tiny voice inside my head spoke up, _what if she wants to marry him? You only destroyed her life… you are the monster. Who would marry you? _At that all the air left my lungs. Slowly, my eyes flickered upwards and once again I was met with those innocent brown orbs. Bella married me and even if it was unwanted she kept her vows. Self- hatred seared through my veins; my expression toughened. I looked back at my food and thankfully, Carlisle started up a conversation again. _

_As soon as dinner was over I took off. I had no patience for carriages, instead I rode my horse. I wandered aimlessly through the woods and abandoned streets until I came upon an old, empty pub. Drink after drink, I thought about how I always assumed Tanya would forgive me if I did the honourable thing and married her. At first, when she refused I thought that she may be scared. Never once, did I think that Tanya may not want to marry me. Today, I realized that I may have forced her hand. I was a monster. _

_After a while, _her _face came to my mind. The whiskey burned down my throat and I wanted to scream. I closed my eyes and _her _face filled my thoughts again._

_Bella…_

_Why! Why was it that I had to ruin her life? Why was it that I could not give her what she deserves? Why it was that _she _is all I can think about, when the women I thought I loved is going to marry a man I hate. _

_Did it even matter to me that Tanya was going to marry James? Yes. Though, I knew Tanya has to marry one day, I sincerely hoped it was to someone better than James. I sighed and gripped my hair. Still, at that moment, I could only care about what Bella would think if she knew about my past. How would she feel? Why do I care? _

_About three things became painfully clear to me then:_

_First, whether she ever loved me or not, Tanya was now my past. _

_Second, there was a part of me that still wished for what could have been. _

_And third, my feelings for Bella were changing. Immensely. _

I was jolted back to reality when suddenly the door slammed open. I groaned and covered my eyes with my hand.. I knew who had made such a grand entrance without even looking.

"I say you had quite a night last night, eh Eddie Boy?" Emmett chuckled and walked noisily inside. I did not bother answering him.

"Do you ever _remember _what you did last night?" he asked. There was an undertone in his voice that made me suspicious. Carefully, I raised my arm off my eyes and looked at him. He was seated on one of the sofa chairs watching me. I cocked an eyebrow at him.

"What do you mean?" I questioned.

Emmett shrugged casually, "Well, Bella is acting a bit indifferent today. She will not talk to anyone and she barely ate…." _What did he mean? Did I do something?_

I stood up too fast. "Where is she?" I asked, dizzily.

Emmett stood up as well and came towards me, "She is fine, calm down." He put his hands on my shoulders and pushed me down on the bed again, "But how are you?"

I shrugged, "My head hurts but that was to be expected."

Emmett stared at me with a peculiar expression. "And about Tanya?" he probed hesitantly.

I felt my visage harden but I answered, "I wish her the best." There was a little burning sensation in my throat as I spoke. Emmett looked at me as if I had not said anything.

"Does that mean you see her for the bitch she really is?" confusion was written all over his features.

"No Emmett," I glared at him, "I have decided tis' best if I let her go… she deserves what she desires."

Emmett gave me a disgusted look and scoffed, "Do not attempt to tell me that you are going to let her go in a blaze of glory!"

I stood up again and the anger replaced my headache, "She is innocent, Em. Whether you and Rose believe it or not, Tanya did nothing wrong."

"Yesterday's humiliation should be enough to contradict that." he argued, "For God's sake, she was unfaithful to you."

"I trust she had her reasons," I said quietly. Reasons_ that held me responsible for this whole mess, _I thought.

"Good Lord, are you listening to yourself?" Emmett burst out shouting.

"I let her go, Emmett, is that not what you all wanted?" I growled.

He gave me a humourless laugh, "No, dear Eddie Boy, we wanted you to be happy, not pity yourself and let that whoreget away with what she did to you." His words made me want to lash out again but he held up his hands with a chilling glint in his eyes. "Though, I do not think this is the last we shall ever hear of the bitch, if you believe you have moved on you will go find your wife. Lords knows the suffering you put her through and whatever you did last night topped it all off," when he turned to leave he looked over his shoulder.

"O and take a bath first. You stink!" Then Emmett left the room with a hearty snicker.

I stood there and tried to shake clear of my emotions. Then I sighed looking down at myself. I decided I probably should shower first, though, what Emmett said about Bella made my stomach go in knots.

I quickly went into the bathroom where I knew my bath was already ready. I stripped down to nothing and stepped the bath tub. I sighed in little contentment as the water hit my clammy skin; I closed my eyes and tried to relax.

Steadily, the last couple of week came to my mind. The day we went to that bakery shop. Bella looked so young and carefree; I couldnot help a grin that came over my face. I chuckled and reminisced how it took her the whole time pick out what she first planned to get. Her love for chocolate cream rolls was really quite endearing. Then, I thought of the fire in her eyes, when I commented on those dreadful Jane Austin books. Sometimes she really took me by surprise with her bravery to cross me. I liked it… a lot. I sighed again. Even though, I made her life hell in the beginning of our marriage, I really think we are now headed in the right direction. She really has an effect on me.

Thoughts of Bella completely enveloped me. I remembered the feel of her thick, sweet scented hair, the softness of her skin, the feel of her breathe. I felt my breathe hitch as all the blood in my system travelled south. My hardness grew as I thought how Bella looked yesterday. The material of her gown clung to her body like a second layer of skin. I groaned and whatever pure thoughts were left in my brain flew out the window. I dipped my hand in the water and grabbed my hardened manhood. I stroked my shaft slowly up and down with the thoughts of Bella. All I could think about was the softness of her body when I held her; I stroked faster, grunting. I thought of the fullness of her pink lips and my hips rose at their own accord. I was so close; I squeezed and stroked faster. I remembered the taste of her lips. Her tongue was so sweet like strawberries… mmmm…

Wait. What?

How do I know what her lips taste like?

I froze abruptly. Then Emmett's words crept into my mind.

"_Do you even remember what you did?_

_... Bella is a little indifferent today. She will not talk to anyone and she barely ate… _

Oh no. What did I do? I hung my head in my hand, the fire from before was gone, my cock hung limp in between my legs. I felt ashamed now. What did I do to her? I pulled at my hair and tried to recall what had occurred last night. Did I force her? O lord no!

A few images went through my mind. I remember her crying and that I had kissed her… quite passionately. But I could not, for the life of me, remember if I had forced her into anything else. Where was she now? I had to see if she was ok. I quickly rinsed and towelled off. Then with nothing but trousers on I ran out of the bathroom.

Panic was welling up in my chest. But when I stepped of the bathroom I froze. There Bella sat reading on the sofa. She looked so small and acquitted that I felt my heartbreak at the thought of what I might have done. Cautiously, I walked closer to her.

"Bella?" I called out. She gasped and swiftly shot off her seat. Her eyes met mine in an instant and she gasped again. I saw her eyes trail down my body before quickly she averted them. We both did not say anything for a while. I inspected her for sign of any injury I may have caused but there was nothing out of the ordinary. Still, I knew I needed to apologize.

"I am so very sorry, Isabella," I began but fell when I her eyes flashed to mine.

Why did she look hurt? I realized I had caused more damage than I thought.

"I do not know how I can ask you to forgive me. I am not even worthy of that. Please, please tell I did not hurt you… that – that I was gentle… with you." I took a deep breath and met her eyes.

I was shocked by what I saw. Bella glared at me with the most hostile expression I have ever seen on her face. Blood rushed to her cheeks and her little hands balled to tight fists. Her breathing quickened and unshed tears made their way into her eyes; she was absolutely livid. Underneath her anger, I could see that she was trying to hide a very strong emotion.

"You do not remember anything, do you?" Bella asked in a controlled, monotone voice.

_I remember kissing you and not wanting to stop_, I answered in my head.

"I am so sorry, Bella, for what I did—"

"Save your worthless apologies for someone else, Edward," the venom in her voice was clear, "And to put you out of your misery, nothing, besides a few drunken words and a kiss, happened last night

I breathed a sigh of relief, which Bella caught. The expression on her face twisted between pain and anger

"Are you alright? I am so sorry," I apologized again.

"That is none of your concern," she gave bleak, heated smile and turned to leave. Something inside me snapped. Without another thought I strode up to her and pulled her back to me.

"LET ME GO…" she gritted her teeth. I turned her around to face me, so I could read her expressions. Her anger was obvious but there was something else that she was tried to hide. I held on to the tops of her arms and pulled her closer.

"You _are_ my concern," I said forcefully.

She raised her eyebrow with a coarse expression, "Now, why is that?"

I stared at her, upset. The next thing I did, I think, shocked us both. Without breaking eye contact, I pulled her into my chest. My arms locked around her tightly and I laid my cheek on top of her head. "What did I do, Bella?" I whispered, "Please tell me."

"Let me go, Edward." She pushed against my chest but I only held on tighter. She was going to tell me what caused her to look so… broken.

"Bella please..." I tried again. I did not think she would answer. Bella kept pushing feebly against my chest all to no avail. But this time she did answer and what she said made me freeze, stunned.

"Who is Tanya?" Her voice was low and unforgiving. She pushed against my chest once more and this time I let her go. My mind was left reeling. How did she find out about Tanya? Bella gave me ruthless scrutiny, "Answer me."

I stared down at her and felt my heart crumple. My mind was completely blank I could not think one single thing to utter. My throat felt dry. She shook her head and gave me that same bleak smile.

"Bella I am so —"

She held up her hand and her intense look bored into me, "No, Edward, enough."

Without glancing back, Bella turned around and left the room. She knew about Tanya… Bella knew about Tanya. What was she thinking? Surely, she could stand to look at me. How had it all come to this? I needed to explain myself. But will she even listen? I gripped my hair and let out a strangled huff. I stood there thinking I was alone once again. But after all I had been through I did not want to give up… I learned my lesson the first time and I do make the same mistake twice. I needed to tell her the truth, the whole truth. This time I was not letting go. I was going to go after her.

**Okay really sorry if this did not live up to your expectations. I feel like I've lost my edge, hmmm… Anyhoo, I hope I've gotten Edward's point across. What can I say? He's a messed up, misunderstood guy but that's why we love him… or in some people's case hate him. **

**One more thing, I know that I'm not the best writer out there but I really do appreciate the comments and support you all have given me so far. Thank for reading YAMLN ****love you all! **

**Now this is the part where I should say… please review. **

**But since I'm a briber I will say that if we meet the 1000 mark, I shall post an outtake of what happened right after the kiss in two days' time. **

**Luvs,**

**Ishey**


	16. Outtake: That Night

**Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight**

**Hey , hey! So we didn't get to a thousand **** o well I still love you guys! Thanks to everyone who reviewed! Special thanks to gktrina and the ladies at Twilighted who keep me motivated. Love you all and thank you again! **

**Soooo …. Here it is! **

**Outtake: That Night**

_Little by little, I opened my eyes gazed into his marvellous green ones. I gaped at him wide eyed. What had just happened? _

I stood frozen in my spot; my eyes wide as saucers as my head spun and my heart pounded in my chest erratically. I stared at Edward with utter shock on my face. His expression reflected mine. He had a thoroughly astonished expression as well and I knew that meant he regretted the whole thing. At once, I snapped out of my stupor and chagrin crept into my veins.

_He is drunk, for God's sakes!_ My mind screamed at me, _how could you have let that happen?_

Instinctively, I stepped backwards wanting to get as far away from Edward as possible. He did not want me and the only reason he kissed me was because he was drunk! I felt foolish and used. My gaze dropped to the floor as all my emotions consumed me. My temper rose with the passing seconds. Everything that he had done or said to me came back with a vengeance in my mind. His hostile glare, the venom in his tone when he spoke to me, every time he physically left me scarred and his worthless apologies, all swarmed in my head. I had somewhat forgiven him, time and time again, for what he did but now I could not find it in myself.

Anger bubbled inside me. I was angry with Edward, with my faith and all the unfairness in the world… most of all though, I was livid with myself. Why did I care about Edward when he could not even think of me as his wife? His drunken words only reminded me of how I could never be wanted by him. They only highlighted the fact that Edward thought that I was unworthy of his love. He only, ever wanted Tanya.

Tanya.

Not me.

My vision blurred again and my hands shook. I looked back up at him and glowered into his eyes. I barely registered the gentle smile on his face. All I could think of were my irrational feelings about everything that had happened and my conclusion to it all. Edward did not love me. He loved Tanya and I was his unwanted wife. He was forced to marry me. The only reason he would even touch me was when he was drunk. I had every reason to hate him. But I loved him.

I was in love Edward.

_No! _ I screamed inside my head.Before I even had the chance to think over on what I had concluded to, false words slipped from my mouth. "I hate you," I whispered. That was my only chance at protecting my heart, even though, I knew it was a lost cause. Nevertheless, I stood my ground and spoke again with fabricated conviction, "I hate you, Edward."

The gentle smile disappeared. His face contorted into the most pained expression I had ever seen. I felt my stomach churn as his eyes glistened with unshed tears. He took a step forward and held out his hand, like he was begging for something. "Please, Bella…" his voice was shaky and hoarse. He took another step toward me and I felt my resolve tremble.

"Stay away from me!" I said firmly and loudly. He stopped in his tracks at my tone. I ignored his heartbreaking appearance and blurted out everything. I needed to protect my feelings, and the only thing I could come up with was to make him feel as horrible as he had once made me feel.

"Do not come near me. I may be your wife but you gave up your rights on me quite willingly... She made you cold, Edward. She sucked your soul right out of you and I cannot _believe _that you still let her rule your life," I scoffed with a hard glint in my eyes, "Look at you. You are drunk over someone who used you. It is pathetic."

I took a deep breath then started to walk around him. I could not stay near him for another minute, but just as I was about to cross him his hand shot out and caught my arm. My eyes shot up to meet his, and immediately I regretted my actions. His expression was heartrending. The hurt in his eyes was unendurable. The tears there were enough to break me. Yet, I stood still with an icy visage.

"You do not know anything…" he whispered with a shuddered breath. He pulled me back so that I stood in front of him.

"Then enlighten me Edward because otherwise I do not see the point of me being here with _you_," I spat. The smell of the alcohol was still a heady on him. I did not think he would be able to stay awake any longer. I started worry and without another thought I pulled him towards the bed. Edward followed me obediently and lay down. I tried not to ponder too much on the fact that he held my hand tightly in his. When he set it free though, I could not help the disappointment I felt. I helped Edward pull up the covers from his feet. Then, to my great astonishment, he held open his arms in invitation. He wanted me to lie with him.

_No Bella, _my mind warned. I knew I should listen to my senses but at that moment all I could concentrate on was Edward. He was undeniably beautiful even in his drunk state. Also, his gaze captivated me. I could feel the lonesomeness and pain exude from him in waves. Impulsively, I went to him. I laid down with my back to him and his arm tightly wound around me. He put his face in my hair and took a long, deep breath. I shivered at the sensation.

"Sleep, Edward." I commanded in a low voice. I did not need to hear any more from him. He already broke my heart; it was obvious he did not feel the same way I did. Did I really love him? The words caused butterflies to erupt in my stomach, I sighed. What am I going to do?

**Okay couple of things I need to say/ remind. **

**If you think Bella is too quick to think she loves Edward, I don't want to hear about it. I'm pretty sure we all fell in love with him too quickly too, whether it is YAMLNs Edward or Canon Edward. I'm really not trying to be rude. I just need to explain that Bella is a young 17 year old and no matter how strong she is, she still lives in an era where women a considered weak. So to her, Edward is all there really is. And come on its Edward, it was bound to happen! if there any questions though, I'll be happy to answer **

**Now the thing about Edward… I can't believe how many of you have lost faith in him! Lol, sometimes it's really funny to read some reviews but other times it's just plain frustrating. I've said this before but I think I need to say it again… This is NOT an easy love story and things are only getting started. But don't worry it is all going to come together. **

**Now about my updating schedule. I'm really having a hard time with it. RL is crazy, so for now I don't have a steady schedule. I'll probably be all over the place but I'll try not to take too long. So please stick with me guys! And again any questions I will definitely answer. **

**Please review and help YAMLN reach the thousand review mark… you know you want to **

**Until next time **

**Ishey – EJ **


	17. The Proposal

**Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight **

**Thanks for the reviews **

**So sorry about the late update**

**Here it is!**

Chapter 16 – The Proposal

I walked out of that room without looking back. My hands were clenched at my side and I gritted my teeth. My anger grew with the blurriness in my eyes and my heartbeat was frantic with adrenaline. I felt violent at everything!

Unconsciously and stupidly, I had hoped that after yesterday evening Edward would feel _something _other than guilt and sorrow towards Tanya. Oh, how wrong was I! When I overheard him talking to Emmett, my anger completely escaped me. He _still _believed she is innocent! With those words, my foolish hope was crushed and my heart was broken yet again. But I was finished being letting him feel helpless. I would _not _let him be blind from the truth.

So I had asked him. I asked him who Tanya was. And even then I had hoped; I hoped for his sincerity. But the look on his face proved me wrong once again and threw my reality in my face. I married and loved a man who wanted another woman. It was my reality and the truth.

I reached the foot of the stairs when I heard two different voices call my name.

"Bella, there you are!" Alice shrieked and bounded up the stairs at the same time as Edward called, "Bella wait!" I looked over my shoulder at Edward who was headed for me then turned my head towards Alice purposely ignoring him. I took a step down just as she took the step in front of me.

"What is it, Alice?" I asked.

I noticed a certain glow to Alice's face as she stood in front of me. Her cheeks had a pink shade to it, her eyes were glaze over and her breathing was ragged. I was suddenly very interested in what she had to say. Alice took a deep breath and I half expected her to shout her news at me. But instead, she looked at me with a serene expression. It was the most tranquil I had ever seen her and instantly I knew what she had to say.

"Jasper proposed." I stated in an awed whisper.

"Yes, yes he did," Alice whispered back with tears in her eyes.

"O Ali!" I reached for her and pulled her into my arms. I felt my on tears slip as we hugged.

"Bella, how can I ever repay you?" she asked pulling back. Then she grabbed my hand and slowly towed me down the stairs. She completely disregarded Edward, who was standing behind us by the top of the railing, like he did not even exist. I really hoped he was fully dressed now. I could only imagine what Alice would think if it were otherwise. I would be embarrassed not because of her thoughts but because I wished her thoughts were true.

"Whatever do you mean, Alice?" I asked confused, focusing on what she had said.

"If you did not help me act on my feelings than Jasper and I would not have gotten engaged today. You helped me act on my feelings and Jasper told me that you had talked to him as well. So thank you, Bella, how can I ever repay you?" Alice gazed back at me as we hit the bottom step. Her tone was sincere and kind; I felt emotional all over again.

"O Alice, I only want you to be happy. I am so glad that you have found love." She hugged me again and the weight of what was going to happen hit me with a force. I pulled back and looked at her with a grin on my face.

"Alice, you are getting married!" I giggled. She squeezed my hand and shrieked like I first expected her to, "I know, Bella! My goodness, we have so much to do!"

Suddenly, Alice was in hysterics. She dragged me into the parlour, where Esme and Rosalie waited; she talked so fast I barely understood what she was saying. "I cannot believe this! We are to be married before Christmas and Jasper decided to propose today! That is not even enough time for the wedding gown to be made! Wait until I get my hands on him!"

"Alice, slow down!" I protested as we entered the parlour. Rosalie gave me a knowing look with a smile on her face.

"What has my poor brother done now?" Rose asked in faux exasperation, "I thought when he asked for a private acquaintance with you, he would have done something _right!_"

"O he did something right, alright…" I said walking towards Esme and taking Henry from her; she smiled and made room for me to seat near her, "Alice is just worried about the wedding details."

"O Alice!" Esme scoffed good- naturedly, smiling at her daughter.

"But, Mama, what if the tailor cannot finish the gown in time?" Alice stomped her way over to Esme and through her arms around Esme's neck.

"Shhhh, sweet child, everything will be perfect…" Esme stroked the back of Alice's hair in a motherly gesture.

Alice sniffed, her face still hidden in Esme's neck. "Are you sure?" she asked in a small voice.

"Of course, sweetie," Esme reassured with tears in her eyes, "You will be the most beautiful bride…"

I felt my heart clench at the scene in front of me. It was this private mother- daughter moment that made me miss my own mother so dearly. O how I longed to see her! I turned my head away so no one would see my misery.

"She will be invited to the wedding," Rose whispered to me.

I gave her a confused look, "Who?"

"Your mother, of course…" Rose answered.

I could only stare at her, "Really?" She nodded and I gave her a heartfelt smile.

"Well, it will be a grand wedding and every member of the Cullen, Hale and extended family will be there. Your mother is a part of the family, Bella, of course she is invited," Rose smiled and turned to prepare the tea in front of her.

I, on the other hand, had paled. _Every member of the family was coming to the wedding? _My thoughts were suddenly jumbled. That would mean I would have to face James again; I felt a dreadful shiver go down my spine. James was definitely not someone I wanted to be acquainted with again. If he reveals something about me, I will surely die! My heartbeat rose and without my consent I was on my feet with Henry asleep in my arms.

"Is everything alright, dear?" Esme asked sweetly. Both she and Alice now had a cup of tea with them.

"I – I yes, everything is alright," I slowly sank back down on the couch.

The rest of the day passed painfully slow. Everyone excitedly planned for the wedding while I stayed back feeling guiltier by the minute. I wished I could join them whole heartedly but the fear of what could happen scared me. If James chose to open his mouth at the wedding I do not know what I would do.

At last, it was time for dinner. While everyone went to dress, I half ran to Carlisle's study. Outside, I took a deep breath to calm myself and knocked. I heard a muffled, "Come in…" and slowly opened the door.

Carlisle was standing in front of the full length mirror that was placed near the door that led to god –knows- where. Once again I marvelled at his grand study. It was truly impressive. With a sigh I shook my head and saw him buttoning the cuffs on his sleeve; he was also dressing for dinner.

"Bella," Carlisle smiled warmly, "What can I do for you?"

"Carlisle, I do not know what to do! If he says something at the wedding I can never show my face to anyone in this family! O, it shall be such a disgrace… I never meant for this to happen but how can I prevent it? He will ruin me for sure! O dear, I am so, so sorry!" I was hyperventilating. The room was getting blurry and my knees weak.

Suddenly Carlisle was in front of me. He put his hands on my shoulder and gently led me towards the couch. "Slow down, child," he said sitting beside me; his expression worried, "Whatever on earth are you talking about?"

My hands were shaking in my lap. I took a deep breath and started talking slowly this time. "James knows about what happened," I declared. I looked up to see Carlisle unchanged expression. My eyes started to blur when he finally sighed and ran a hand through his hair. The movement reminded me of Edward and I quickly diminished that thought. I waited for Carlisle to speak.

"Am I aware of that," he finally spoke.

"You are?" I asked in absolute astonishment, "O dear, what am I going to do, Carlisle? What if he says something at the wedding? I do not want to disgrace your family…"

Carlisle stared at me with a peculiar expression. "Bella, you are not nor ever will be a disgrace to our family," he spoke in a firm voice, "You mustn't blame yourself. What happened that night was not your fault… James does not know the truth; he is only spreading the lies."

My heartbeat was out of control by this point. There was a low ringing sound in my ears; I could barely breathe. Carlisle was right. Nobody knew the truth other than my parents, Carlisle and… _them_. But what James thought could ruin me or mostly importantly the Cullens. After all they have done for me I knew I could not let that happen.

"Still," I persisted with a tremor in my voice, "Carlisle, if he reveals his thoughts people will rise with questions." Suddenly there were tears in my eyes. I sniffed, "I cannot keep hiding this. We have to tell everyone. Tis' not fair to them to be in the dark… at least let them be prepared for what might happen. They have a right to know."

Carlisle sighed, "Bella, everyone is already _somewhat_ mindful of your situation…"

I knew that what he had just said should have pushed me over the edge. I should have been gaping at him by this moment but instead I was completely unsurprised. In a way, I felt quite calm at hearing him speak those words. It meant that everyone knew about my past and they did not blame me. They did not believe the awful lies that made even me forget the truth. Everyone loved me for me.

Everyone except one…

"Yes," Carlisle answered; I realized that I spoke my last thought out loud, "Edward is the only one in the dark."

I nodded numbly. Somehow it all made sense. Now I really saw why our families thought we were perfect for each other… two broken souls who could never find a fault in each other because of their own pasts. For me, I knew I could never blame Edward for what had happened to him. I could never blame him; I could never hate him. I only wish he would do the same for me.

"You want me to tell him," Carlisle stated solemnly.

I nodded again and whispered, "He deserves to know…" I knew I could never be the one to tell Edward. It had to be Carlisle.

"As you wish, dear," Carlisle patted my hand. It was quiet for a moment, while I absorbed everything.

"But what about Alice's wedding?" I was suddenly hysterical again, "Carlisle people will talk if James decides to—"

"Bella no one will _dare _speak against you. Do not forget you are a Cullen now; no one can harm you in any way without a severe consequence. Our family is quite powerful Bella and James knows that very well," Carlisle spoke with an intensity that I had never heard before.

I quickly wiped away my tears, "Thank you, Carlisle." And without another thought I wrapped my arms around his middle, hugging him. O how I missed my father!

"O sweet child, how I wish I could take away your pain," Carlisle gently rubbed my back in a paternal way. I knew he was not just referring to my past. "I will talk to Edward…" He said as he pulled back with a kiss upon my forehead, "About everything."

As I left Carlisle's study, I felt oddly at ease with the turn of events. Still, I still wanted to talk to Alice and Rose about what they knew and thought. But I was at ease because I knew they would not judge me or sneer. It felt like a huge burden had been lifted off my shoulders. There was only one person left now that needed to be handled very carefully…

"Bella," his voice broke through my reverie. I stopped in my tracks and turned around to see Edward standing there to the left of me. My heartbeat grew on its own accord. Nevertheless, I kept my voice distant and disinterested.

"Yes?" I asked. He slowly walked towards; his eyes intently searching my face. He stopped directly in front of me and I held my breath.

"What was that?" he whispered. His breath was sweet as it fanned across my face. I had to shake my head slightly to clear my brain.

"Pardon me?" I asked, thoroughly confused.

He stared down at me closely before he answered, "In there," he gestured towards the study behind him, "While you were conversing with my father."

I gazed up at him and a sudden nervousness crept into my stomach, "I do not know what you are saying… Were you listening?"

My palms started to get sweaty at the thought of what he might have heard. I tried to tell myself that Carlisle will soon tell Edward everything and I should not feel so nauseous at the thought. But as it were, I could not control my emotions or the queasy feeling in my stomach. Silently, I waited for Edward to answer.

His expression was one of worry. He ran his hand through his hair; his signature act of agitation. Then he sighed and closed his eyes, "I – I... yes I was." He did not sound remorseful at his admission. Edward opened his eyes and looked at me warily, "What were you saying to him?"

My muscles tightened at his inquiry. Whatever I had spoken to Carlisle about disappeared from my mind. I felt myself start to shake. I could not do this! "I do not have to answer you, now if you'll excuse me…" My voice was quivering; nonetheless I turned away from him in a steady stance to escape.

But just as I started to walk Edward was in front of me again. He cupped my face in his hand and tilted it upwards so I was gazing straight into his eyes. Then he asked me the one thing I was petrified to answer, "What are you hiding, Isabella?" His green orbs were so vibrant that I could not look away.

I was silent and Edward was suspicious. My mind went blank; I could not think of one thing to say to him. _What could I say to him? How can I tell him the truth? How can I even begin to tell him? _So, I said the only thing I could think of.

"How can I tell you about me, when you have something to hide yourself," I whispered sombrely, "How can I trust you?"

All of a sudden, I realized that everything I was saying was the whole truth. Carlisle would tell Edward what he knew and what Edward deserved to know. But I could not trust Edward. He would never understand me, never see my perspective. No matter if I fell in love with him; I did not have faith in him not to hurt me.

Edward stared at me with an expressionless face for what felt like centuries. Then his visage was completely vulnerable. It was as if something just broke through his conscious and finally he saw everything for what is was. His breaths were shallow and his eyes glazed over. In a very low voice, he started, "Because I need you—"

"Edward," Carlisle's voice broke our trance, "May I see you in my office… now?"

Edward did not acknowledge the words said to him at first; he did not even move away from me. Instead, he stared at me with a penetrating gaze. Slowly, Edward retracted his hand from where it cupped my cheek and pulled away. Dazed, I stood unmoving in my spot as the door to Carlisle's study closed behind Edward securely. The weight was going to happen suddenly hit me.

I started to walk toward the parlour, so I did not have to think about what was being said behind those closed door right now. It did me no good to stand there and listen; I knew this was inevitable. Edward and the Cullens needed to know about my past.

"She is his past Alice, please, try and understand…" I heard a voice come from inside the parlour.

_Jasper, what is he doing here, _I questioned. Alice had mentioned him not being available for dinner this evening, when I asked her where Jasper was, to congratulate him. I sped up my pace and stopped by the entrance.

"His past?" I heard Alice screech, "If she was his past, then he would not be wearing his emotions on his sleeve! She ruined him, Jasper!"

"Jasper Hale, do you want her to revoke the wedding?" Rosalie spoke up then. She sounded just as angry as Alice, "If not, I suggest you do as she says!"

"Dear Lord Rose! I agree with Alice just as much as you do, but you both know tis' impossible!" Jasper sounded a little agitated but otherwise did not raise his voice.

Alice started to shout, "Well, it is your duty to make it possible!"

There was some rustling within the room. I was about to step in inside when Jasper's words stopped me in my tracks at the door. "Tis' out of my control Alice, I'm sorry, but Tanya _will _be attending the wedding."

**DUN DUN DAHH! **

**I know I took forever to update but like I said before RL is crazy! Hopefully you all forgive me **** also for people who are unsure I just want to remind everyone that I am NOT abandoning YAMLN. I love this story just as much as you guys do. **

**Please Review! I promise to respond this time! Thank you all so much!**

**Luvz,**

**Ishey-EJ**


	18. Tell Me

**Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight**

**A couple of thing I think I need to put out there…**

**A couple of people have asked me this and I'm I got a little worried. Rape stories are not everyone's forte, especially me. YAMLN is not one of them either. This is an M rated story so Bella's situation isn't easy but she was not raped…Whatever happened in her past is traumatising but it's not rape. Also, I know everyone is confused as to what is going on with Bella's past but I just want to remind everyone that B's past has not been revealed yet… just in case someone is thinking otherwise. **

**Thanks for the support and reviews! **

**Here it is! **

Chapter 17 – Tell me

"_Tis' out of my control Alice, I'm sorry, but Tanya will be attending the wedding."_

"WH—what?" as soon as the word left my lips everyone's heads snapped to my direction. I stood in the doorway in shock.

Tanya was coming to the wedding. Tanya. The women that I have never met before, who single handily destroyed my chance at happiness. She was the women who my husband still cared for; the women I hated with a passion. _She _was coming to the wedding and I would have to face her. What was happening with my life! It felt as if this one day would to end me.

I saw Alice plop down on the sofa where she stood frozen, pointing a finger at Jasper. She looked unbelievably remorseful. There were tears in her eyes and she did not dare look at me. Jasper sat beside her; his visage was tired and defeated. I did not know what caused them to look this way, but at that moment I wanted someone to answer me!

Rose approached to me. She gently held my upper arm and led me inside the parlour. God knows, I would not have been able to move on my own. She safely sat me down on a chair and looked me directly in the eyes.

"Tanya is coming to the wedding," She said in a colourless voice. I nodded in a daze, "No one wants her to come but she is our cousin… if Tanya does not come then people will ask questions. We do not want to give her that satisfaction. My parents will not hear of it; they want her to come and they see no reason why she should not…"

I nodded.

Rosalie sighed, exasperated, "You need to be strong, Bella!" I nodded again, not understanding her anymore. I felt Alice curl up beside me and hold me tightly in her arms.

"She will stay away from you, Bella, I promise," Rose said firmly grasping my hand.

"Yes Bella, I assure you that she will not come near you," Jasper spoke up, "You would not even have to see her face."

Of course Tanya will not come near me. She does not care about me; I am not the one she's after. Do they not see that! She'll hurt him again, I know it! I looked at Rosalie who was kneeling in front of me and whispered only his name, "Edward." _What about him? _

Rosalie's eyes dropped to the floor. No one uttered a word and that was enough to answer my question. After a very long silence, Alice finally spoke, "If it were up to me, she would be burning in hell right now. But I am sorry, Bella… I do not know what will happen between Edward and Tanya."

Everything was suddenly surreal when I heard a velvety voice. "Nothing will happen, Alice." My head snapped up towards the door. I heard a tiny gasp from someone but I could not be sure who it was. I was solely focused on the person standing in the doorway.

Edward.

He was glaring at Alice and Rosalie with a hostile expression. "Because," he continued in a strained tone, "She is engaged and _I _am married. Do not dare think otherwise…"

Rosalie stood up and met his glare head on. She looked infuriated. "Well, you have not given us a reason to believe you, dear _brother,_" Rose scoffed.

I heard Jasper say something, but I was too dazed to acknowledge it. All I could think of was what Edward might be thinking. He knew about my past now… not all of it. Nobody knows the actual truth. Nevertheless, he knew enough and now, he even overheard our conversation. _What was he thinking? What am I going to do now? _

"Now is not the time to be having this conversation," Edward spit out at Rosalie, "Especially, if you are not involved in the matter."

I realized everyone was standing up. Jasper was standing in between Edward and Rose, while Alice was pulling on Edward's arm. Both Edward and Rosalie looked as if they were about to kill one another. My eyes were wide as I watched the scene unfold in front of me.

"Not involved?" Rosalie was now openly shouting, "My whole family is involved in this! You, my pathetic cousin and Bella! And Edward, if for one second, you think you can go back to her, you will have to go over my pile of ashes!"

Edward did not hold back. His face contorted into a mask of hatred and spoke with vehement, "You brought this on yourself, Rose! This happened because of you!"

"You STILL want to go back to her!" Rosalie screamed, "After EVERYTHING you STILL want her, Edward?"

This was the question that I had waited for to be asked. This was the question that I wanted answered. This was the question that had the power to break me. This was the question that was met with silence… complete and utter silence. I felt my heart break at it. My eyes got blurry as I waited for an answer and with all the power I had I looked at Edward.

He was staring at Rosalie with a blank face. His posture was stiff and unmoving; he just stared. Then without warning his eyes cut to mine with an intensity that I could barely handle. I was sure that if I was standing my knees would have buckled. His vibrant green orbs were sparkling with an unnamed emotion; his gaze spoke volumes.

The he whispered, "No Rose, I only want the pain to go away… I just want to move on, so please do not make it harder than it already is." With that he turned and strode away.

I stared after him in shock. _Did he really wish to forget her? Why? Was I a reason? _I felt hopeful at his words but I knew better than to be. I still needed to know what he thought of what Carlisle told him. Was he angry? Did he think lowly of me now? Will he ever look me in the eyes again?

From around me I heard someone sobbing. I quickly turned to my attention to them and was stunned to see that it was Rosalie who was a complete mess on the floor. She crying and mumbling under her breath. I could barely make out her words, "This is my entire fault…"

"No, Rose, never…" I went over to her and put my arms around her. I could not believe that this was the same Rosalie that had just yelled at Edward. She was completely broken now. Alice came and put her arms around us, while Jasper left the parlour with a determined look on his face. I was pretty sure he was out to find Edward.

We just sat there holding each other until Rose quieted down. Soon after, Jessica was sent to call us for dinner. She gave us all an evil smirk before, sashaying out of the room. She looked entirely too pleased with our current situation. There was something about her that was not… right.

"We should go before Esme comes looking for us," Alice said quietly. Rosalie nodded as we all stood up.

"I do not think I will be joining you all for dinner this evening," I said quietly. I really hoped they understood my situation and did not push it. I had a hard day.

Rose gazed at me with penetrating eyes. "You need to talk to Edward," She said quietly.

"I need to talk to both of you as well," I answered, "About my past."

Both of them had identical expressions on their faces. With wide yet careful eyes they nodded in synchronization. Then we all quietly left the parlour. I headed up the stairs to my bedchamber while Alice and Rose went to dinner. I was glad they did not push me into coming with them. I was tired and I needed sleep. I, also, needed to talk to Edward once and for all.

The room was empty and dark. The curtains were drawn and only a hint of sunlight shone through. I sighed heavily and went to lie on the bed. I closed my eyes and tried to concentrate on my jumbled thoughts. So much had happened in so little time, I could barely keep up with any of it. But, I knew I needed everything out in the open.

I was not surprised when I heard the door opened and closed with an inaudible click. I already knew that he would come. I waited in silence for him to speak. I knew not of what was going through in his mind but it could not have been any different than mine.

Then I felt the bed dip beside me and suddenly I was very nervous. He did not utter a word and only lay next to me unmoving. We were at a crucial point and the significance of it suddenly dawned on me. This was it.

I took a deep breath to calm myself and waited. He had to be the one to take the first step; I could not to do it. I kept my eyes closed tightly but I felt him move. It was as if a current between us was getting stronger and more intense. I heard the change in his breathing and I knew then that he felt it too.

Slowly and gently, his hand captured mine where it lay on my side. My heart pounded in my chest as he securely gripped my fingers. Then he whispered my name and I could not hold back my tears. They fell silently down my face as we lay with our hands clasped together for what seemed like hours, but could not have been more than a few minutes.

"We cannot do this anymore, Edward," I whispered with a hoarse voice, "I have had enough."

I felt him shift and then suddenly I felt his proximity. "Look at me, Bella," he whispered back intently. I was frozen in my spot, for I knew what I would see if I opened my eyes. His breath was warm and sweet right above me and I could feel gaze send shivers to spine. One look at him and it would kill me. Yet, I slowly opened my eyes.

And there he was. In all his glory, looking more like an angel than man, as he stared at me with the most devastatingly heartbroken expression. The top half of his body covered mine as his forearms rested on either side of my head. His penetrating green orbs consumed me; I was trapped.

"I have no words," Edward began in a broken whisper; he gazed straight into my eyes, "I do not know what to say anymore that will make you trust me. If I apologize then tis' a shame on me but I must let you know of how entirely I regret everything I have put you through. You must know, Bella that I never once meant any of those vicious words I have ever said to you… It was all in vain that I tried to push you away from me. I wanted to protect you and tis' because I wanted to protect you that I was selfish and bitter."

I could not believe my ears. But Edward sincere visage said otherwise. He really meant what he was saying; he was finally being open and truthful. But despite his honesty I felt anger bubble in my chest. Edward was still only centimeters apart from me but only now his eyes had closed.

"Protect me?" I asked in an incredulous tone; I was getting angrier, "You have put me through hell, my entire married life, only to protect me? How were you protecting me, Edward, and what were you protecting me from? Could you not have been at least civil to me in the process? I have never expected anything from you, Edward, but could you not have just eased my pain by being even a little considered? And now, you expect me to believe that you never meant it? No, Edward… I cannot."

Edward's eyes opened as he heard me rant. His expression was still miserable but now he had a fire in his eyes. "Did my sisters not tell you, Bella? Or did you wish for me to repeat it?" his tone now came out venomous but I knew it was not directed at me.

"Pardon me?" I asked confused on what he was talking about.

Edward huffed and a painful expression crossed his face. He shut his eyes tightly and suddenly rolled over to lie on his back. I lay there, missing his warmth, but was relieved all the same. If we were to have this conversation then I needed to be coherent.

Slowly, I sat up and faced him locking my arms around my knees in a tight, defensive posture. Edward did not comment. Instead, he had his arm thrown over his eyes and his breathing was ragged. I did not know what else to say, so I waited.

"I am a monster, Bella," Edward hissed with his jaw clenched tightly.

"I do not believe that," I whispered.

He griped his hair in one hand and looked as if he were in pain. "Have I not given you enough reason to hate me?" he gritted.

_No, _I thought sadly, _only the opposite. _I shook my head even though I knew he was not watching me. "No," I breathed, "I do not hate you."

"How can you say that, Bella?" he groaned and rolled over to face me. His eyes still held every bit of misery I knew we were both feeling.

"Because I know it will not help us!" I exclaimed, "I am tired, Edward! Of everything that is happening and has happened! We both have a past but we cannot let it keep ruling us! I – I am … enough Edward! No more!"

I could feel the heat on my face as I finished talking. Suddenly feeling very stupid I looked down at my hands. Everything fell silent. After a long moment I finally managed to look up at Edward. He was staring at me with the most peculiar expression. His gaze felt as if it could burn right through me. Then he said the words that I never hoped to hear from him.

"What Carlisle told me today," Edward began in a serious tone, "Will never be repeated by me. But I want you to know that my family does not blame you for anything… I do not blame you and – and I wish you were never put into those circumstances. Tis' was not your fault Bella."

_Tis' not your fault Bella_

I have heard that before but that did not mean it is true. Nobody knows that real truth. I looked down at my hands again and did not say anything in return. Then to my utter surprise I felt Edward's finger gently pull my chin up.

"You do not believe otherwise, do you Bella?" he asked. There was confusion and a hint of anger in his eyes. Again I did not say anything; instead I gave him a wry smile.

"What if I tell you the same thing?" I said in a dry voice.

"Whatever do you mean?" he asked turning his head to the side.

I took a deep breath as I answered, finally speaking my thoughts on the subject. "I mean Tanya," I said evenly. His face, like I expected, turned to stone.

"Tis' was not your fault Edward," I threw his words back at him, "Why do _you_ believe otherwise?"

He just stared at me.

"Why are you letting your past ruin you? As your wife, Edward, I do not expect much from you but please answer me this… Do you still love her?" I asked in a broken whisper.

Again, he just stared at me.

"I want to know, so that I can crush my hope once again…" I cried, "_Please _tell me Edward. I will not hate you; I – I only want to stop hoping. _Please._ Tell me."

"Yes, Bella… I love her," he said without looking me in the eyes.

**Ok don't hate me! I apologize for my doucheward but it's gotta be how it's gotta be. Also I know my updates are coming in late but I really can't help that. I am truly sorry but RL is only getting crazier. I know you guys don't want me to put YAMLN on hiatus, so I'm trying my best to get at least a chapter out a month. I really do not want to disappoint you all but that is the best I can do for now. Hopefully you all will stay with me. A lot of fun stuff coming up! **

**Reviews = Teasers **

**Love you all forever and ever,**

**Ishey-EJ **

**PS, this chapter is unbeta'd so don't mind the mistakes **


	19. An Impasse

**Disclaimer: If I owned Twilight, I'd be the queen of the world!**

**Thank you for your patience and support. Love you all! **

**Here it is…**

**EPOV! **

Chapter 18 – An Impasse

"_Yes, Bella… I love her."_

Why those words slipped from my mouth, I will never know. But I shall always remember the remorse and bitterness I felt afterwards. I did not think the words would hurt me as much as they hurt her but then again I never thought of my actions.

How did it come to this? Did I not just promise Bella that I would never hurt her ever again? How mocking it was, that I break my promise right after I make it. Just like my vows… and now I even managed to break Bella.

If I was completely honest with myself, I knew I was only scared… scared of what I was feeling and scared of what I saw in Bella's eyes. How utterly pathetic! Here I had a sweet and innocent woman as my wife and all I did was make her cry, and tell her I that I could not love her.

Tis' ironic that the person we was separated over was the furthest one from my mind. Tanya. I sighed… _Where do even begin? Did I really love her? Why?_ I felt my hand tug at my hair on its own accord. _Why did I tell Bella that I did?_ The magnitude of what I had just done finally started to dawn on me.

_How could I say that?_

My head snapped up to see Bella and what had done to her. I had made every married woman's worst nightmare come to life for Bella. I should be burned in Hell; the Hell that I saw Bella drowning in at that moment.

Shock, pain, anger, helplessness, agony, numbness. Then it was as if the water finally broke through the dam. Bella shot off the bed in one swift move; my eyes could barely follow it. Her whole figure was shaking and I was at a complete loss. Her hands were balled up into tight fists quivering violently. There were tears spilling down her red cheeks as she tightly gritted her teeth. What scared me the most was the fire I saw in her eyes; it was anger, no it was pure rage. Bella looked like the devil herself.

Instantly, I was on my feet.

"Bella?" I walked cautiously towards her, crossing to the other side of the bed. Her eyes followed my every movement in a look I could have only described as disgust.

"Stay away from me," she spit out. My steps faltered for a second as her words twisted like a knife in my chest. Yet, I continued towards her.

"Bella, please…" I was desperate. I reached my hand out towards her.

"Do Not Touch Me," she said eerily quietly; it was like the calm before the tempest. I stared at her in desperation. Slowly, I placed my hand at the side of her neck hoping in vain it would relax her. I was about to start on my pathetic apology when suddenly Bella's palm connected with my cheek. Hard.

"I SAID DO NOT TOUCH ME!" Her scream barely registered in my mind as I was left reeling from the aftershock of her action. I could feel the sting and warmth of handprint that would surely mark my face. I did not have a chance to recover.

"DO NOT TOUCH ME! STAY AWAY FROM ME! I HATE YOU! I HATE YOU!" In a weak attempt to push me away, she shoved her hands against my chest.

"I NEVER WANTED TO MARRY YOU! YOU ARE A SELFISH, CONCEITED AND THE MOST DISAGREEABLE MAN OF MY AQUINTANCE! YOU MAKE ME FEEL WORTHLESS! LIVING WITH YOU IS WORSE THAN WHEN THE THOSE ROGUES TOOK ME! I WOULD RATHER HAVE DEALT WITH PUBLIC HUMILATION INSTEAD OF THIS! MY FATHER WAS WRONG ABOUT YOU; YOUR OWN FAMILY WAS WRONG ABOUT YOU! YOU DESERVE EVERY BIT OF AGONY YOU PLACE UPON YOURSELF!"

Time stood still. Suddenly everything was very quiet.

My heart clenched painfully at her words and without a conscious thought I took a step back. My mind went numb. Our breathing was ragged. Bella was still shaking with eyes shut tight. I saw her trying to unsuccessfully calm down. Then her eyes snapped up to meet mine, still on the brink of tears.

"Why are you here?" There was determination in her voice.

I could not answer at first. Her words made no sense to me. I could hear the pulsing of my heartbeat and nothing else. Then I finally answered, "Pardon me? Whatever do you mean?" My voice a low and rough but I knew she could hear me.

I saw Bella's eyes light with fire again. "If you love her, then why are you _here, _with _me_?"

Her words caught me in a loop once again. "I –I do not…" I stammered. _What could I say? _

I saw Bella's anger grow even more with an unwavering expression as she walked towards me. "You are a coward Edward. _You_ were the one to let your love go, you lost your family because_ you_ blame them and now… and now you lost _me_!" My breathing stopped as her words hit me. A much unexpected feeling made itself own at her choice of words. Bella did not stop at that. "If you loved her than you should have gone after her and saved yourself from all this regret!"

That was the final blow. Anger seeped into my veins and I locked her upper arms into my hands pulling her closer. Bella's deep eyes grew wide and it took me a second before I could make myself speak. I stared at her intensely. "Do you think I regret my actions?" I asked in a calm yet infuriated tone.

"I know you do." She retorted in the same tone.

My grip on her arms tightened. "You do not know _anything_…" I whispered.

"Then _tell me, _Edward!" She gritted out, "Why are you making us suffer?"

I dropped my eyes and loosened my hold on her. I could not do it. Why? Because I am pathetic and I still hoped for a future that could never be. I knew Bella realized my decision before I even said a word. She pushed my hands off her shoulders and took a stepped back.

"Then go to her…" she whispered in defeat. My head snapped up to see her on the verge of breaking down, shocked. My heart clenched again at the sight of her. I slowly shook my head.

"I –I cannot…" I whispered with my own eyes stinging.

"Why?" She looked up at me with an agonizing expression.

"Tis' too late…" I whispered with a dry throat, "She – she…" I tugged at my hair in frustration. The truth was I did not know how Tanya felt… I never did.

I heard Bella sigh. "Then I have nothing more to say to you; I think we both have said enough today. I apologize for my harsh words earlier, believe me, I never meant to cause you pain. I have to remind myself that this marriage was not in both of our interest and that you are not at fault. I promise you, you will not receive any trouble from me anymore. From now on we shall live as strangers in this household and nothing more. And if ever you decide to go back to your love, you only have to set me free from this marriage. I shall go in peace… But otherwise, I am done, Mr. Cullen."

**Ok that was a very long wait for a chapter so small but it was the best I could with a schedule like mine. I hope you guys enjoyed it anyway. The storyline is finally down to a point where now only good things will happen. I know it doesn't seem like it now but if you are dedicated reader you will know very soon. **

**As always thank you to my reviewers and the ladies at Twilighted for your support and faith in YAMLN.**

**Also the next chapter should not take a long as this one but I can't promise. I will try my best. Thank you for sticking with me. **

**Ishey- EJ**

**PS, who saw the Breaking Dawn trailer at the MTV Movie Awards? OMG I LOVED IT SOOOOOO MUCH! CAN'T WAIT UNTIL IT COMES OUT! **

**PSS, sorry this chapter was again unbeta'ed (Me and my prereader are two very busy bees) Please ignore the mistakes. **


	20. Time

**Review reply is fail at FF so, I'd just like to say thank you to everyone who reviewed! Seriously, it's unbelievable that YAMLN has such a following. Even with my long overdue updates lately you guys are still with me. Thank you from the bottom of my heart! **

**I'd just like to remind everyone that I am not into easy love stories. I know a lot of you are getting frustrated with Edward and everything but that's how it is… Trust me guys it's better this way ;) **

**Love you all! **

**Here it is! **

Chapter 20- Time

Time passes. Even when it seems impossible. Even when each tick of the second aches like the pulse of blood behind a bruise. It passes unevenly, in strange lurches and dragging lulls, but pass it does. Even for me.

It had been exactly two months. Two months since everything fell apart. Two months since I gave up on my pitiable life. Two months since I had even _looked_ in _his _direction.

Everyone had heard our _conversation _that afternoon. Well, I did not expect any different, though I was slightly surprised by their reactions. Carlisle and Esme, who were the two calmest people I have ever known, were livid. They did not say a word to me, only offered kind, watery – eyed smiles and delicate hugs. But with _him_ … Edward… well let us just say that they asked to discuss the matter _privately_ in Carlisle's study.

Emmett and Jasper were both inconceivably threatening towards _him_. Not only did they look menacingly dangerous but they flat out bullied Edward_. _Jasper marched straight up to him, shoved him back and told him to, "Enjoy the hell he created for himself." Jasper's reaction to everything left me stunned, especially, when he came up to talk to me after. He told me I was a dear sister to him and will not ever stand to see me suffer. I cried. I cried a lot. I missed my father the most at that moment.

Emmett's reaction was predictable as it was frightening. He had grabbed Edward by the collar and dragged him out of the house. He straightforwardly told Edward to leave. Carlisle later had to retrieve him after Emmett had calmed a bit. Of course, I was not there to witness all this. After my breakdown in front of Jasper, Alice had taken me to her room and Rosalie had replayed the rest of the events for us later. Not that any of it mattered anymore. That day could not have been any worse.

For the first week or so, Alice and Rosalie were my lifelines. For, I had gone into some sort of daze. Nothing around me made sense. The pain, remorse and guilt enveloped me. It upset me that I was the reason for this family dispute; a wedge between the family and love. I felt unwanted and was truly embarrassed.

Today was a rainy and quiet afternoon. We were piled into what was now considered my bedchamber for everything except sleeping. If it were up to my two sisters Edward would never be able to see my face again; they had disowned him the moment I walked out of his room, that ill-fated afternoon, with tears in my eyes. But Esme was not fond of the idea of me switching bedchambers. Alice and Rose put up a fight but when Esme did not relent to their wishes, saying she knew what was best, they begrudgingly gave up.

Of course, Alice did not entirely give up. She inconspicuously brought most of my belongings into the new room, so I did not have to be sentenced to _his_ chamber, if I ever needed anything. Thus, the new bedchamber was used for everything except sleep. That I had to endure every night in his bed… The bed that was always empty before I went to bed and when I woke up. I sometimes wondered if he ever came to bed at all. Nonetheless, it did not matter to me. Not anymore.

"There! Now your trunk is packed and ready for tomorrow!" Alice exclaimed breaking me out of my reverie. I looked up to see Alice hopping up from where she was propped on top of my trunk and come to sit by my side on the bed covered with gowns and material.

"Are you sure you do not want to pack that white gown?" She asked in pleading voice. She picked up her beloved pearly white gown and placed it in front of me.

I gave her a teasing smile, "The only that should be wearing white is _you, _demon- bride!"

Alice giggled in delight, nodding her head. It was true; Alice was hard to please. She wanted every detail of her upcoming wedding to be perfect and precise. In the past two months I was in over my head with fabric and flowers; napkins and silverware. I quickly realized that my job as the maid of honour was not an easy one. We spent long nights going over _everything_ that needed to be at the wedding again and again.

I looked over at Alice and smiled. I knew exactly what she was doing though and that was distracting _me _from my pitiful life. It could not have been coincidences that every time I was unconsciously withdrawing into my sorrows, Alice just _had_ to go over the details of her wedding gown or the colours of her bridal shower. She was the best sister anyone could ever ask for.

"What about me?" Rose smirked from beside me. Alice let out a tinkling laugh.

"Did I speak out loud?" I asked feeling the blood pool into my cheeks. They laughed.

"What is all this?" Esme said smiling, as she walked into the room.

"I am a better sister than Rose!" Alice exclaimed.

I ducked my head in embarrassment, "No … I mean yes…no … what I meant was… I – I … I love Henry the most!"

It was quiet for two heartbeats before they all burst out laughing. I giggled a little too; it was light and superficial. That was the most I could manage. Esme walked over to me and patted my hair in a maternal way. I could still see the remorse and sadness in her eyes.

"Is everything packed for tonight, Bella dear?" she asked sweetly.

My stomach churned at the question. Tonight… I gulped. "Yes, we just finished…" I said shakily.

Tonight was the night.

It was a tradition in the Hale family that every time a male heir was to marry, the wedding would be held at the grand Hale Manor in Cambridge. That is where Jasper and Rosalie's parents resided. From what I have heard from Rose, the Hale property is quite ostentatious. I did not doubt her for a second when she said that the Hale manor rivals the Cullen mansion; I married into a very wealthy family.

The wedding was on the fortnight and we were to be in Cambridge by the tomorrow evening. All the trunks and carriages were packed and ready to leave after dinner. Everyone was excited but Alice could not be more ecstatic. Jasper had left for Cambridge a month ago to prepare for the wedding and it was obvious that Alice missed him dearly.

"Well, dinner is being served soon," Esme stated, "You ladies should head down. Oh and Rosalie dear, Henry is awake and Emmett has taken the liberty to dress him… again." Alice giggled while Esme and I shared knowing looks. The first time Emmett tried to dress Henry was not very successful…

"O dear Lord!" Rosalie jumped from her spot on the bed and almost ran out of the room. "Emmett Cullen! Put my child down this instant!" I heard her scream in the other room down the hall.

"Shall we go dine?" I asked.

"Yes, we shall," Alice chirped, "But Bella I really wish you'd consider packing that white gown!"

I sighed, "No Alice, I've already packed everything and that white gown is just unnecessary…"

Alice huffed, "Fine! Let us go eat."

Dinner was a usual affair. I mostly stayed quiet while, Alice, Rose and Esme spoke of the wedding details as if they hadn't already gone over it a thousand times before. Dinner always felt awkward for me and that a lot to do with my so-called husband who sat at the end of the table. Always discreet; never saying a single word.

Nobody acknowledged his presence. Every one ignored him. No one ever spoke to him or even _of_ him. He was like the dark stain everyone tried so hard to disregard. It was as if he had never existed. But he _was _there; he was _always _there in the corner of my mind. Every time we were in the same room as each other, which is not very often, his intense gaze was burning holes in the back of my head. He watched me from afar but stayed away. He never came near me, in fact, he never went near anyone. Some days I felt as if I was the only one who even remembered him to be a part of the family. Everybody else pretended that he was not there. At times I felt angry at them for ignoring him so completely; it seemed so effortless to them. But then I would remember his words, the past four months of my life, and everyone's actions towards Edward are justified.

"Is everyone packed and ready to go?" Carlisle addressed us breaking me out of my reverie. I nodded along with everyone else. Carlisle cleared his throat uncomfortably, "Very well… except we will only be taking the three small carriages with us…"

"EXCUSE ME?"Alice shrieked, "But we need two separate carriages for the trunks alone! How will everyone fit, unless Emmett plans to ride on horseback all the way to Cambridge? I am NOT leaving any of my gowns behind!"

"Settle down, child," Carlisle held up his hands, "An unfortunate event has occurred in our drivers' family. I have sent them to their village because I could not make them stay away their loved ones at a time like this. And since this occurred very recently we were not able to hire temporary help. Thus, we shall only take three carriages…" Alice opened her mouth again to speak but Carlisle stopped her, "Not to worry, we are not leaving anything behind. Tis' decided, since we only have Paul as a driver, that Emmett will take charge of one of the carriages and I will take charge of the other. We will try and fit as many trunks as possible in Paul's carriage; the rest of the trunks will have to be mounted on the other carriages."

"Carlisle, tis' still not possible –" Rosalie began.

"I am aware of that," Carlisle interrupted. Then he gave me an intense look, "Therefore, it has been opted that Edward will ride on horseback… with Isabella."

My heart skipped a beat at his words.

"That is preposterous!" Alice shrieked again.

"Absolutely not!" Emmett boomed.

"Over my pile of ashes," Rosalie muttered, glaring at towards the end of the table where Edward sat unmoving.

"Carlisle, tis' very inappropriate for a lady to ride—" Esme started.

"I understand that, dear," Carlisle said softly taking her hand, and then he looked up at everyone, "That is why, Edward and Bella will make a stop at the outskirts of London. There will be a carriage waiting for them at a roadside hotel. That is our only option right now."

"Why does Bella have to go with _him?" _Rose spat out.

Carlisle sighed, "Because we have no other choice. Alice needs to be one of the first to arrive along with me and Esme. Rosalie you need to be with Henry… As well as, tis' better if Bella and Edward make their appearance together."

To my surprise Rosalie nodded at Carlisle. Clearly, there was something about his words that she understood better than others. Esme gave me a sympathetic look. "Will you be alright?" She asked quietly from beside me, even though everyone heard her question.

I sighed keeping my eyes on the plate in front of me. I knew that if I were to say so, Carlisle would not hesitate to change the plan. But I could not do that. It had been two months for goodness sake! Two months of tense atmosphere; two months of walking on eggshells; two months since I have even looked at my husband! This cannot keep going on, I knew. Alice's wedding was in two weeks; family and friend from all over England were coming to the wedding. Edward and I needed to find some common ground, for Alice's sake and for the name of the Cullen family.

I looked up from my food with a deliberate manner and turned my head towards _him. _All the air left my lungs at the sight of him but in a way I felt a sense of relief. He was looking down in front of with his hands clenched in tight fists on either side of his silverware. In way he looked exactly the same as ever with thick, bronze locks, smooth skin and masculine physique. But on closer inspection I could see the subtle yet worrisome differences. His skin was too pale. His hair had no shine as it used to. His whole demeanour reminded me of a ghost. I felt my lips tug down in a frown. _What happened to him? _

Then he looked up. His expression froze me. His eyes were unfocused and burning. The once vibrant green colour of his eyes was now dull and bloodshot. There were dark rings underneath his eyes as if he hadn't slept properly in weeks. His lips were chapped and slightly parted. There was no colour in his cheeks. It was the face a man would have if he were burning at the stake.

I quickly averted my eyes not being able to handle his heartbreaking appearance. It was all wrong… Why did he look like that? I cleared my throat to answer Esme, "Tis' fine… I have ridden on horseback before." I looked up and saw Carlisle nod.

"This is absolutely ridiculous!" Alice shrieked again, "Tis' December for crying out loud! She will catch her death out there!"

"Why can't Edward and I ride on horseback and let Bella take the carriage?" Emmett asked indignantly.

Carlisle gave a pointed look to both his children, "Firstly, Emmett _you _need to drive your own carriage, since I have already explained that we only have Paul for a driver. Beside they are only taking one horse. And Alice, they are not going on horseback all the way to Cambridge. A carriage for Edward and Isabella is prepared they only have to go and receive it. They shall be fine."

_One horse? As in I will _literally_ have to ride with Edward? _And Alice is right it is freezing out there! What is Carlisle thinking?

"But," Carlisle spoke up again, noticing my horrified expression, "If Bella and Edward are not comfortable… then they can stay behind and wait until we send a carriage back with Paul from Cambridge. That is, of course, their decision to make."

_WHAT?_

Carlisle gave me a pointed look and suddenly I understood why he was doing this. He did not want me to stay home alone with Edward for no matter how long. Carlisle, in his own way, was trying to protect me. Why else would he force a lady to ride on horseback in December of all months?

But now he was giving me a choice and making me decide. I bit my lip. _Hmm, stay home alone with Edward for the next three or four days or spend an hour with him on horseback in close proximity in freezing weather? _I peeked at Edward one again and saw that he was once again staring at his plate.

I sighed then whispered, "I shall be fine… as long as Ed – Edward is okay with this arrangement."

From the corner of my eye, I saw his head snap up in my direction. Then I heard his hoarse voice, "I have no objections…"

"The hell you do not!" Emmett burst out of his chair, "You are not to go near her! _I _will go with Bella!"

"Emmett that is quite enough!" Carlisle stood up as well. I turned my head and saw Edward glaring at his brother.

"She is _my _wife," Edward hissed, clenching his hand into fists again. His eyes were burning again with a fire of anger. I felt my heart start to beat faster.

"_Really?" _Emmett questioned with a cruel expression, "Then maybe you can start to _treat _her as your wife and erase that WHORE TANYA FROM YOUR MIND!"

_This cannot be happening! Not in front of everyone… _I heard Esme gasp and tears pricked my eyes.

"Emmett, hold your tongue and sit down!" Carlisle commanded finally raising his voice. I felt the table vibrate as Edward pushed away from the table and stood up. Rosalie reached up and pulled on Emmett's arm but he shook it off. It was obvious he was waiting for Edward to say something, so he could launch at him. I closed my eyes waiting for the shoe to drop as well.

But nothing happened. It was deadly silent. My heart rate picked up and I slowly opened my eyes again. Edward was standing in a stiff posture with his head down. His hands kept clenching and unclenching at his sides and I noticed that he continuously kept blinking his eyes. His short gasps were the only sound in the room.

Then Edward's shoulder's slightly relaxed and slowly he raised his head. "I will wait for you outside," he spoke directly to me. My heart stopped and picked up again. His tone was completely calm as if Emmett had never said a word to him and his eyes were burning with intensity as he stared directly into my eyes. I nodded not knowing what else to do. Edward stared at me for a beat longer before he quickly turned and strode out of the dining hall.

I took a deep breathe to calm my nerves and turned to face my family. Rose nodded at me in acceptance before rising and taking the fuming Emmett by the arm. "Your study Carlisle?" she asked as if she already knew the answer.

"Yes, I shall be there in a minute…" Carlisle said, giving Emmett a disappointed look, before he turned to face me, "Bella, are you certain that will not be _too _uncomfortable… you can stay—"

"I shall be fine," I interrupted with what I hoped was a convincingly smile. He nodded and smiled as well.

"Esme, dear," Carlisle spoke again, "Please make sure Bella is dressed appropriately for the weather. We shall be leaving shortly."

"Of course," Esme stood up, sniffing softly. She patted my cheek lovingly before walking out with Carlisle.

_Now on to the difficult part, _I thought.

"Alice," I began.

"No, Bella," she said quietly, "Please do not apologize for this. Tis' not your fault… But I cannot help but worry for you, Bella. What if he hurt you again?" Her expression was soft with a worry line between her brows.

I shook my head at her, smiling softy. "Would you leave Jasper, if he ever hurt you?" I asked in the same soft and quiet tone.

She shook her head, "That is different."

"How so?" I asked knowing her answer already.

"Because I lo—" she suddenly gasped and stared at me with wide eyes. I nodded at her feeling tears pool into my eyes.

"You love him," she whispered. I looked down at my lap as my tears flowed freely.

"Yes," I admitted with a shaky voice, "I love him…"

"O Bella!" I felt Alice get up from her seat and walk over to hug me, "How could I have not known? What kind of sister am I? I am so sorry…"

"No Alice," I sniffed, "You were perfect… I – I just"

"Shhhh," she cooed, "It shall all come together Bella. It will be ok, I promise."

I nodded, "I sure hope, Alice…"

"Are you warm enough, dear?" Esme asked as she pulled the heavy cloak tighter around my shoulders.

I smiled, "Yes, thank you." We were standing by the entrance of the house getting ready to go. The carriages and horses were all set up. Now all that was left was for me to pull on my gloves and walk out the door.

"Ok Bella," Rose said coming up behind me, "We are all set to go."

I smiled and pulled her into my arms. "Have a safe trip," I said.

"You too, my lovely," she said and kissed my cheek. I took Henry from where he was perched at her hip and kissed him loudly, "Auntie Bella will see you very soon. You be a good little baby boy now, ok?" He smiled his dimply smile and tugged on a lock of my hair.

"Are you ready?" Rose asked watching my intently. I took a deep breath and nodded.

The air was crisp and chilly outside. The sky was dark and everything looked a little scary. Carlisle came to my side once we got near the carriages. A lone, brown horse stood behind the last carriage with Edward by his side. From a distance, it looked as though Edward was whispering into the horse's ear but I could not be certain.

"Will you be alright, Bella?" Carlisle asked leading me towards Edward and the horse.

"Yes," I nodded, "Please do not be in distress because of me…"

Carlisle just smiled at me kindly as we stopped in front of Edward. "Have a safe trip, my dear, and be careful…" He kissed my cheek before turning to face Edward.

"Do you know which way you are headed?" Carlisle asked. Edward nodded completely expressionless. "Good," Carlisle continued, "Ask for Mr. Stanley and he will give the carriage."

Edward nodded then he flickered his eyes to mine. "Are you dressed warmly enough?" he asked with a furrowed brow as he gave me a once over. I felt a flash of annoyance. Everyone needed to stop worrying about me. I was not that breakable. Then I sighed, knowing they all meant well.

"I'm fine," I said for the millionth time this evening.

"Very well," Edward exhaled.

He started striding forward with his arms spread wide… and_ I_, not knowing what he meant to do, flinched away. I saw Edward freeze as his face broke into a _very _hurt expression. "I – I was only going to help—" Edward stuttered pulling at his hair. _Lord it had been a long time since I saw him do that…_

"Relax Edward," Carlisle spoke up from beside me; I had forgotten he was still there, "I can help Bella mount the horse."

Suddenly I felt very stupid for my actions. He had only wanted to help me… Edward stared at me with wide eyes before he turned and quickly straddled the horse. Then Carlisle stepped in front of me.

"May I?" he asked hold out his arms. I nodded. _Thanks for asking first, _I thought grimly. Then, before I even knew what happened, Carlisle hoisted me onto the horse. I was left a little breathless. My legs dangled off on one side and I stared at Carlisle with shock. He chuckled.

"Have a safe trip, kids," Carlisle smiled, "I shall see you both in Cambridge…"

Then he left for his own Carriage… and I sat there frozen as I felt Edward's hot breath trickle down my neck. We both sat unmoving, not saying anything, just breathing very, very heavily. My body felt as if it was buzzing with some sort of current. My mind was starting to get a little hazy. Maybe this was not the better option…

The carriage in front of us started to move and the Gates of the Cullen estates were opened. I felt Edward take a deep breath before he leaned forward. I felt my breath hitch as one of his hands grabbed the reins and the other secured upon my waist, holding me against his body in the most intimate embrace I had ever known. Then we were moving too…

We galloped for what seemed like eons but could not have been more than an hour or so. My face felt frozen but the rest of my body was heated. Edward had yet to lose the firmness of his grip on me. Every so often I felt his arm flex as he pulled me even closer. His face was now only inches from mine but I faithfully kept my head turned away from him.

Then I felt his lips touching my ears. I went rigid in his arms as I felt and heard him pull in a breath. "We are almost there," he said directly in my ear, "Are you cold?"

"No I'm fine," I said in a normal voice. I am sure he heard me; our faces were much too close for him not to. I felt him nod and instead of pulling away, like I thought he would, he just turned his head and leaned his cheek against mine. My heartbeat went crazy and my breathing, shallow.

"I will not embarrass you, Bella," he spoke again. I had no idea what he was talking about, so I stared straight ahead and waited for him to continue. I felt his breath on the front of my neck and jaw as he sighed, "I know I have proven it otherwise, but my past is behind me. She is engaged now and even if she was not, I would never do anything to disgrace you or my family… I would never purposely be unfaithful to you."

I stayed quiet, letting his words sink in. I swallowed the lump in my throat and spoke up, "I already told you, Edward. Our marriage is not much of marriage you see… You just need to say the words and I will be out of your life for—"

Suddenly Edward yanked the reins back and the horse came to a screeching stop. I was left gasping, staring straight into the night with wide eyes. I felt Edward's hold on me get impossibly tighter and I grew a bit uncomfortable and scared.

"Never say that," he hissed in my ear. For some odd reason, I grew warm all over. Edward ducked his head on to my shoulder, "I _want _you in my life, Bella… I – I need time."

My heartbeat grew impossibly faster. "What do you want me to say, Edward?" I asked in a shaky voice. I was still staring into the night, not daring to look back at him.

"Nothing, Bella," he sighed, "Just please do not give up on me…"

I felt my heart break at his words. _Why did he keep doing this? _"I will be with you every step of the way," I whispered, "No matter what you decide…"

Edward raised his head, "Bella, I will never—"

"Never…" I cut him off, "Is a very strong word. You do not know what is going to happen in the next two weeks, Edward. You might change your mind."

My stomach twisted at my own words. But they were true. The next two weeks will be the ultimate trial for our relationship. Every secret and every emotion was going to come out into the open. Edward would not be able to hide because Tanya will be there… and I have to be ready. I only wish that I don't come out of this more heartbroken than I already am.

Edward sighed after a long and intense moment. "I'll earn your trust somehow," he murmured, mostly to himself, "Even if it's my final act."

I did not say a word, pretending to not have heard him. I didn't want to understand the meaning of his words… Ignorance was bliss. Edward sighed again and tightened his hold on me once more. Then we were galloping forward into the unknown. God help us…

**Ok this was my LAST LATE UPDATE; I finally got my shit together so the next update will be in a week or so. **

**Leave me some love! **

**Ishey-EJ **

**PS, How do you imagine Tanya's entrance would be like? **


	21. Important!

**Ok everyone get ready for a really long AN… **

**First of all, I would just like to thank each and everyone one of you for supporting and reading my Fic. I seriously didn't think anyone would even bother with it twice but you guys proved me wrong! **

**Anyway, the reason I'm writing to you all and not posting an update today is because yesterday I came across an anon review that seriously irked me and pushed me into doing this AN. Now I have something to say. Ok here it is… **

**I know that YAMLN's Edward is seriously something other. I know most of you even hate him. Lol, it's completely fine with me if you do; I love some of your guy's reactions! But as of late, I've been receiving reviews that I feel, in so many words, are targeting me or the progression of this story. **

**My answer to that is… Before I started this fic I warned everyone that YAMLN is not going to be an easy going fic. No, it doesn't have dark themes or rape or anything but that doesn't mean it's going to be simple. I'm going for the realistic route and that means Edward and Bella will not fall crazy in love after four months of their arranged/forced marriage. I got many people saying that this Edward is unredeemable. I ask why? Just because he ain't perfect and said some mean things to Bella? O Boo Hoo, Bella's not perfect either. They both have a painful past and it's going to take some time before they're even on the same page. And let me remind you that this is set in the 18****th**** century and as much as we wish otherwise Bella is completely depended on Edward. Ya, Edward has met his match in Bella but don't hate at me for sometimes making Bella weak because that's how it was back then with girls. **

**As for the progression of this story, please don't tell me I don't know what I'm doing or that I'm all over the place. YAMLN was planned this way and again, it's not an easy HEA. If that not your forte then I suggest you stop reading YAMLN. I'm not saying this to be a ranting bitch or anything. I'm just giving everyone a clear warning. If I lose some readers over this then, so be it. Everyone has different reading preferences. **

**Now on to Edward… Because I know he's the one causing all this ;) **

**The ladies down at Twilighted had an answer for this. A very sweet and faithful reader had some insightful things to say about Edward in her post. She was right on the mark and I think what she said can clear some of the air for many. **

_Hi Girls...*Waves*_

Ok, a few things to get off my chest.

I went back to day and read the last few chapters, most notably the ones where James comes to visit and the aftermath. Some things came to mind...

Yes, he was shocked and seemingly upset about James and Tanya, but the night he got drunk, he came looking for Bella. Of course, he told Bella all of Tanya's attributes, but remember, in the end, he said for all Tanya was, she was nothing compared to Bella. And then he kissed her. That didn't seem to me like a man who wanted to use Bella to get over Tanya. And once he felt that Bella was kissing him back, he went 'wild with desire', picking her up and pushing her against the wall to kiss her. He only backed off because he thought he hurt her, or was afraid of hurting her, and he kept referring to himself as a monster.

Then the next morning, he pleasured himself to thoughts of BELLA while bathing. Not Tanya! Not out of a jealous, feral rage for Tanya because another man touched what was his. He imagined how lovely she looked the night before, being close to her, kissing her. Again, not a man who was pining over a lost Tanya.

And now, this chapter broke my heart. I know it looks like Edward is still in love with Tanya, but I don't think in love is the proper wording. Yes, he admits he loves her.. I think he has placed her on a pedestal, as an innocent angel, with himself as a monster for sullying her virtue. And now, sullying Bella's. He hasn't slept or eaten well in months, and one can argue it's because he misses Tanya, longs for Tanya, is worried about seeing Tanya. I believe he's a mess because he knows Bella has given up on him. I believe he misses Bella's companionship. And I believe he is depressed because he sleeps next to her at night and knows he cannot touch her, be close to her. That is killing him and making him sick.

LOVESICK!

Ok, I know the way Edward's gone about this totally SUCKS. But I highly doubt he's doing this to hurt Bella. Of course, that's the final result, and that really is awful. But the man is totally confused and heartbroken. I will not hate him, and give him the benefit of the doubt. He has secrets and those secrets are destroying him. I think it's time he lets Bella in.

So...yeah. That's what I had to say. 

**(Thank you so much for that Jo!) **

**I hope now you all can understand where Edward is coming from. Ya, he's weak and confused. But hey, in his way, he's trying… except he's screws up every time ;) lol. And let's not forget that the story isn't over yet, there's still more to come! Give it time and keep an open mind about this; Edward will come around and he'll be deserving of Bella's love when he does.**

**So now, if anyone is still with me, I'll be posting a teaser for the next chapter on YAMLN's thread. The link is on my profile, if anyone's interested Also, if you guys want to join in on the convo at Twilighted and give your opinion, do not hesitate!**

**Again, I'd like to thank you guys and hope I didn't offend anyone with what I've said. RL for me right now is really hard and YALMN is one of my best escapes and just because I was really hurt by a couple of things I really don't want it to become something I resent, you know? I'm trying my best and so, felt this AN was needed. **

**I will continue on with YAMLN because I know there are so many faithful readers out there and I could not bare to let them down. **

**For some of the lesser concerns, I'd just like to that Edward IS NOT SUICIDAL! Lol, I don't know why but at least 10 people came to that conclusion or were worried that he would do something drastic! Not to worry, I could never kill him off. But there was a reason why he said what he said at the end of the last chapter, and you guys will find out soon. Also, for some who thought that the Cullens went a little overboard by ignoring Edward, I want to put out there that it was not just because of Bella. If you think about it the Cullens had to deal with Edward's baggage for years; they simply had given up on him just like Bella. Ya, Emmett and the gang went a little overboard but they love him all the same. In their mind, they gave him space to cool down. In the next few chapters, their intentions will become clearer. Plus, I think it was perfect little punishment for Eddie boy… he needed to see that they won't baby him forever. **

**Phew! Ok I'm done now!**

**I'll be keeping this AN up so if anyone has questions and comments you can send it in a review and I WILL answer. Promise! Love you all! And thank you!**

**Ishey-EJ**

**PS, I'll update a real chapter very soon!**


	22. Hale Manor

**Disclaimer: SM is the creator of all things Twilight**

**Ok before anything I just want to let you all know that this chapter was done like a week ago! And because of tech difficulties I couldn't update it! NOT MY FAULT! **

**This chapter is dedicated to ALL my faithful and supportive readers. I tried to reply to as many reviews as I could; if I did not get back to you, please know that I appreciate every single one you and the kind words you guys said to me. Thank you does not even begin to cover it. I love you all! **

**Here it is!**

Chapter 21 – Hale Manor

"Bella…" Edward's agitated voice broke through the silence again. I ignored him even though; I knew he was aware that I was awake. My eyes were closed but I had no doubt in my mind that Edward was yanking at his hair at that very moment. He huffed when I did not answer… again.

The carriage we received, only hours prior, from Mr. Stanley was passable. It was small, made of thin wood and had two young looking horses attached at the front; it was simple but stable looking. Edward hated it. He even went and argued for another carriage but this was the only one Mr. Stanley could provide us. The man was just as snotty and unhelpful as his daughter. It did not matter to me though, whether the carriage was big or small; I had been through worse conditions. Edward seemed to outrage for no apparent reason… But I soon found out why he acted the way he did.

Even in my state of half slumber, I could hear the harsh winds howling outside. My teeth chattered again as a gust of the bitter cold air came through the thin walls and cracks of the carriage. My bones and muscles ached while my face was numb and my lips, chapped. _ Ugh!_ My eyes fluttered open and a violent shudder rippled through me.

"Belllaaa…" Edward groaned again. I snapped my head up in his direction and glared at his silhouette. It was early in the morning, just before dawn, and I could barely make out his face with the lack of light. I thought he looked a little frustrated… desperate even?

"What is it?" I scowled, turning my head back towards the window. Everything on the outside looked dark and dreary. I felt Edward shift from where he sat in front of me and I shivered again.

"You are cold, love," he stated with the same hint of desperation that I managed to make out on his face before.

I turned to head to look in his direction again. I stared at him incredulously. _Love? Did he really have the _audacity_ to call me 'love'? _I felt anger bubble up in my chest. "And how does that concern _you?_" I asked harshly, dismissing his endearment. It did me no good to wonder the reason behind his choice of words.

There was silence… then I felt him shift again. _What was he doing? _I watched him move around uncomfortably, until suddenly his heavy coat fell on my lap. It was so warm and soft just like a thick blanket. I gaped at it.

"What is this for?" I cocked my eyebrow.

"Please just put it on," he sighed, sounding a little frustrated.

"Do not be ridiculous, Edward," I retorted, trying to hand the coat back to him, "You will catch your death without your coat on!" He only pushed my hand away and refused to take it back. I huffed, "I am perfectly fine! I have Esme's cloak to keep me warm…"

"Well, it doesn't seem to be doing a very good job," Edward muttered quietly. I tried to give the coat back again. "I am fine," I said calmly, "You have more need for this more than I do… besides tis' always a bit colder this early in the day."

He did not answer. "Edward?" I questioned.

I heard him sigh, "Bella, put on the coat and go back to sleep. We shall be there when you wake."

His tone angered me even more. "You are wearing a thin cotton shirt and it is freezing! Do you really expect me to believe that you will not be on your death bed by the time we reach Cambridge? I have Esme's cloak and my gown is made of velvet; I am _fine!" _All this was said in a hushed angry voice. Yet, Edward made no attempt to take back the coat or answer me.

"Edward?" I asked in a chastising tone. Still, he made no answer. "Dear Lord!" I exclaimed, grabbing his coat and quickly moving to sit beside him. I did not know where my boldness came from but at that moment I was too exasperated to care, "You are _so _stubborn!"

I felt him rearrange his position so he sat facing me. I sensed him stare intensely at me and blood pooled in my cheeks. His breath was warm on my face and abruptly I realized how just how close I sat beside him.

"What are you doing?" he whispered leaning in. I blinked thoroughly dazed just by his voice.

I cleared my throat and scooted an inch away from him. "Saving you from an impending death," I answered him with an icy tone, "And from Alice's wrath, if she finds you sick in bed on her wedding day!" Then before he could move and say another word, I laid his coat across his chest and hastily moved back to my seat.

I looked back to see him completely frozen in his spot. I smirked and rested my head against the window, and closed my eyes. "Sleep well, Edward."

It seemed like minutes later, when I woke up to the carriage screeching to a stop. I gasped and sat up rigidly in my seat. Then I had to blink repeated. The sun was shining brightly right through the window and I groaned rubbing my eyes. I felt Edward move around and open the carriage door.

"Are we already there?" I asked, still rubbing my eyes.

"Yes," he answered in a hoarse voice, "I just have to tell the guards to open the gates to the property."

I nodded barely looking up as he slid out of the carriage. I stretched and yawned and tried to fix my appearance before we arrived. While, fiddling with the pins in my hair, I realized that something heavy was laid across my lap. I had not noticed it until that moment and, with only one glance, I knew exactly what it was.

Edward's coat.

When Edward stepped back into the carriage, I simply took the coat off my lap and handed it back to him. He did not say a word and neither did I. The carriage jerked forward again and I turned to look out the window.

The Hale domain was spectacular. It went far as the eye could see with beautiful shrubbery and grand fountains. I knew that Rose and Jasper came from a wealthy family but _this _was beyond what I had expected. Rosalie was right the Hale Manor rivalled the Cullen Estate. I had to hold in my gasp when the Hale Manor came into view as we rode up the path. It was awe-inspiring. The building looked no less than a castle, with wide glass windows and outstanding work of architecture.

"The Hales are quite ostentatious," Edward explained in a quiet voice. I turned my face in his direction and saw him staring out the window intensely. His skin looked pale paper white in the sunlight and with the purplish bruise like shadows underneath his eyes, his appearance was quite disturbing.

"Are you alright?" I heard myself ask without a conscious thought. His eyes flickered to mine just staring. Then he gave me a tiny smile; it was painful to watch.

"How can I be alright, Bella?" he whispered.

Just then the carriage stopped moving and the door opened instantly. Rosalie stood on the other side with a guard. She smiled lightly coming forward.

"I was expected you two would be early," she said looking at me, "How was your journey?"

"Twas' bearable," I muttered making my way out of the carriage. From the corner of my eye I saw Edward looking at me. I looked up at Rose then and smiled.

"I am glad," she chuckled hugging me. Then her eyes flickered to the person beside me. I held my breath waiting for her snarky remark. But what she did next flabbergasted me.

"Edward," she smiled again, and then went forward to wrap her arms around him. I stared at them in utter shock; Edward's face matched my expression. Rose patted his cheek in a maternal manner, "You look tired…"

"I – I did not sleep well," he stuttered.

"That is quite alright," she said casually, "You will have plenty of time to rest until tomorrow." She looped her arm around mine and Edward's arm and pulled us towards the entrance. Then she stopped and addressed the guard who stood quietly beside us, "Take care of the horse and carriage."

She started towards the door again. "What is tomorrow?" I asked. I knew that Alice's much-late bridal shower was planned for this week but not tomorrow.

Rose stopped at the huge golden doors and turned to face me. She eyed us with a knowing look. "A ball in the honour of us Cullens that my mother insisted on," she said rolling her eyes, "All of the guests arrive on the morrow, so tis' the perfect time… A Welcome Ball, I suppose."

Her words confused me and the look she was giving was even more perplexing. I gave her a questioning look of my own. Something dawned on her. "Did Alice never mention it?" Rose asked with a hardened expression; I just stared at her blankly. I looked up at Edward to see him completely frozen in his spot. His jaw taut and hands clenched tightly.

"What are you talking about, Rose? What guests? The wedding is on the fortnight… " I asked narrowing my eyes. Panic was building up in my chest.

Rosalie cocked her eyebrow at Edward, "Please tell me, at least, _you _know."

"Yes," he hissed.

"Of course, you do," she rolled her eyes, "And you did not bother to tell her?"

Edward pinched the bridge of his nose. Then he sighed, "I thought she knew…" He turned to look at me and I stared back with wide eyes; worry was clearly written on his face. _What is happening? _Confusion and panic was written on mine.

"We cannot tell her here," he sighed again turning to Rose, "Where is everyone?"

Rose nodded and turned around to open the huge doors. "We only got here two hours prior so, everyone is having tea in the gardens. They do not know you have arrived."

We stepped through the threshold and I gasped at the sight in front of me. I knew now was not the time, but I could not help but be in awe. The inside of the manner was just as spectacular as the outside. Everything looked very modern and rich; different but glorious.

"Wow," I whispered. Rosalie gave me a tiny appreciative smile but then turned to Edward.

"Well," she said to him brusquely, "Where do you suggest we tell her?"

I watched the two of them with unease. Edward ran a hand through his hair in agitation. "Show us to our rooms and, we shall converse there…" He looked at me again with the same worried expression. Something in his eyes told me that he was dreading whatever they were going to tell me. His gaze was so intense that for a minute I thought I saw tears in his eyes but he quickly looked away before I could make sure.

I swallowed thickly and turned back to Rose. The look on _her_ face scared me even more. I narrowed my eyes as she stared between me and Edward with a mischievous glint in her ice blue orbs. Then she gave us a sickly sweet smile.

"Yes, of course!" she clapped her hands enthusiastically, "Right this way!"

Rose led us through a hallway with marvellous paintings of the Hale family and past the sitting area. This place was huge; I had a feeling I was going to get lost often. We climbed a set of stairs and walked through another hallway before Rose came to a stop.

"Mum wanted you two to have the big blue room down stairs," she said with the same mischievous gleam sparkling in her eyes, "But _I _thought this room had a _much _better view… I am sure you will _enjoy _it."

She swiftly turned around before we could respond and opened the door behind her. The room was beautiful. The colour scheme was warm, with shades of roan red and chocolate brown. As I stepped in through the door, I could instantly see the large windows and double doors that opened up to a balcony. Large dark brown drapes hung over them, creating an almost majestic aura. There was not a lot of furniture, since the room modestly sized. But there was a lovely little sofa by the windows that I immediately adored. All in all, I was half in love with the room.

Then I made the mistake of turning around. I had to literally blink repeatedly to make sure I was not hallucinating. Small, tiny, miniature, those were the only words I could come up with as soon as I laid my eyes on the bed. Was I really supposed to sleep in that? With Edward? Of course, this was not first uncomfortable looking bed that I was forced to sleep in… but with Edward? How were we even supposed to lie in it together, let alone sleep in it? Rosalie was up to something…

Out of the corner of my eye, I saw Edward looking in the same direction as I was. I gulped and slowly turned my head to look at him. His eyes were glazed over but his face was expressionless. I suddenly wanted, very badly, to know what he was thinking.

"Umph hum," Rosalie interrupted by loudly clearing her throat.

Startled, Edward snapped his head up to meet my gaze. He promptly shook his head as if he was in a deep reverie and turned back to Rosalie. I did not miss the fact that his cheeks were slowly but surely turning red.

"Well," Rose called, "I hope you both love it!" She was still giving off that smug, impish vibe, so I decided to put an end to her party.

"Yes, thank you," I said politely, then cocked my eyebrow, "But that is not why we are here."

Edward and Rose shared a look before Edward inconspicuously closed the door behind him. "Have a seat, Bella," he said courteously. I just stared at them not budging.

"Oh, please!" Rose scoffed, "She is not breakable, Edward! She is tougher than you at times!"

Edward glared at her. "Well, _excuse me _for caring about my wi—"

"For god sake, will someone please tell _what _is wrong!" I exclaimed before he could finish his sentence.

"Tanya's coming," Rosalie said bluntly. Everything fell silent as I tried to mask my shock at her words. From my peripheral vision, I saw Edward duck his head.

"I am aware of that," I said slowly and calmly, "I've known that since—"

"No Bella," Rose interjected, "She is coming _tomorrow."_

I froze. Tomorrow. Rosalie huffed coming forward, "My parents wanted all the of the Cullen and Hale family to be here _before_ the wedding. A lot of my family lives far away so, twas' planned that _everyone _is to stay here for the two weeks leading up to the wedding."

She put her hands on my shoulders, "I apologize that we had to tell you like this, Bella; it just so obvious that we all thought that you would _know._"

I was still frozen in my spot but strangely I did not feel anything but the initial shock. I took in a deep breath. "She is coming tomorrow to stay?" I asked in an eerily calm voice. Rose nodded. I turned my head to look at Edward, who was staring at me with unwavering mien.

For a long moment, we just watched each other, trying to understand what the other was thinking. I felt a flash of sympathy for him when I realized that this was just as hard for him, if not more, as it was for me. Though, it may be for different reasons, we were both dreading the coming two weeks.

"Will you be alright," he whispered, looking desperate.

"Will you?" I asked in return. None of us answered each other.

Rosalie cleared her throat. She did not comment on what she saw happen between me and Edward. But I saw a look of understanding on her face and… pride? Relief? I could not tell but the unshed tears in her eyes were quite obvious.

"Are you okay to meet everyone now?" she asked.

I nodded, "I am fine."

"Bella, you do not need—" Edward stepped up but I cut him off shaking my head.

"Like Rose said, I am not breakable. And I am definitely stronger than this." I straightened my posture and rolled my shoulders back. "Shall we go meet your family?" I asked.

"Yes, of course," Rose said opening the door.

I started to walk out but Edward stopped me by placing a hand on my arm. I gave him a questioning look. But instead of answering, he silently offered me his arm. I gazed up at him to see his eyes burning with a determined intensity. I sighed and took his arm. He put a hand on mine and gave me a small crooked smile. My heart leaped in my chest, and I smiled back.

We both turned back to see Rose observing us. "She will not be able to touch them," she said and shook her head chuckling. It was obvious she did not mean for us to hear her, but we did nonetheless.

"Ready?" she asked with a wide smile, "Because Alice is in hysterics at seeing Jasper again."

I giggled at the thought of Alice. Then I sighed. She was the reason we were here, not Tanya, and I will make sure that her wedding will not be made a joke. I will keep my head held high and keep Edward out of trouble. Tanya will not ruin this.

Rose led us down the stairs and towards the huge garden I got a glimpse of before. Edward and I quietly followed, not talking or looking at each other. But then Rosalie stopped suddenly and turned around to look directly at me.

"O and Bella," she said with a straight face, "There is someone out there waiting, impatiently, to see you."

**Ok! What do you guys think? Leave some love! **

**O and also, I already posted pictures and stuff for this chapter on YAMLN's thread if anyone's interested. I'll post them on my profile as well but I don't know how long that would take since I lost the links for them… oops!**

**Xoxo,**

**Ishey - EJ**

**PS, A little birdie told me that we're only 200 away from 2K reviews ;) **


	23. Help me, Save me

Chapter 22 – Help me, Save me

"_Oh and Bella," she said with a straight face, "there is someone out there waiting impatiently to see you."_

"Me?" I squeaked in a high voice. _Who would be waiting to see me?_

Rose turned and walked out the doors without answering. Feeling anxious, I looked up at Edward. He was staring at the back of Rose's head with pursed lips. I averted my gaze and began to follow Rose but Edward stopped me.

"Ah…" he cleared his throat awkwardly, "Rosalie's parents… they do not know about… what happened." I waited for him to continue but he only looked at me from underneath his lashes with a worried expression. I looked between him and out the double doors where Rose was walking away.

"And?" I asked rudely.

Edward pinched the bridge of his nose, clearly frustrated. "I only want to warn you… They might ask questions _about us_," he whispered in an upset tone.

_Ah, that is what has him worried, _I thought. _Of course he would want to protect his 'untainted' name… _

"You needn't worry," I cleared my throat and looked straight ahead, suppressing my anger, "I will pretend to be the perfect wife with the _perfect _husband. I will not embarrass you; though I could ask for the same courtesy back…"

I stepped forward without waiting for his answer, but he tugged my arm back. Snapping my head up to face him, I glared at him. "What is it now?" I hissed, "I thought we already went over this…"

Edward gave me an exasperated look. "That is not what I meant, Bella." he whispered furiously, "I'm not afraid of you _embarrassing me, _of all things. I was only trying to warn you of what to expect… I know this is difficult for you as it is."

His intense gaze bore into mine, his glorious face just inches from mine. Those eyes, and their unbelievable shade of green, spoke volumes but I looked away before my heart leapt out of my chest. I took a deep breath, "We should go. Rose has probably told everyone we are here by now."

We walked out into the gardens together without another word. They were even more glorious up close than from far away. Everything was as wonderful as it looked. I sighed; there were so many colours and in December, of all times! The wind blew gently and, though a little cool, it was delightful.

I smiled softly as we turned the corner and came upon the whole family eating, drinking and laughing amiably under an extravagant gazebo. It was a perfect moment. I saw Alice and Jasper sitting together, lost in each other, while everyone else was completely engrossed with little Henry. My eyes roamed over everybody twice, then I gasped and suddenly faltered in my tracks. I knew those golden locks and that gentle laugh. I knew that voice and that face that I'd longed to see again for so long.

"What is it?" Edward asked.

My eyes glazed over and my voice came out in a hoarse whisper. "Mama…" Just as I spoke the word, everyone noticed our presence. My mother rose from her seat and almost ran towards me. I quickened my pace, leaving Edward behind, and reached her halfway with tears already spilling down my cheeks. "Mama!" I cried, hugging her tightly.

"Oh, my child," my mother snivelled, "How I've missed you, Isabella."

"Wha – what are you doing here? How did you get here? Mama, I missed you so much, everyday!" I was blubbering. Wiping my eyes quickly, I tried to compose myself. _Dear Lord, please do not let me humiliate myself in front of Rose's parents, _I prayed, feeling guilty about what I had just said to Edward moments ago.

"Alice insisted I come and stay with the Hales and your family before the wedding," Mama explained, "Carlisle and Esme even sent a carriage, bless them." She caressed my cheek tenderly and I leaned into her touch. "Sweet Isabella," she crooned.

"I never thought I would see you again," I whimpered, "I missed you, Mama. I've been so alone…" I instantly regretted what I said because I knew I had Alice and Rose, and even Esme to support me. However, I recognized, there was an emptiness within me that never really went away.

I heard Edward clear his throat behind me. My cheeks blazed as I realized he must have heard what I admitted to my mother. I slightly turned my head and peeked at him from the corner of my eye. My mother released me and looked over my shoulder.

"Oh dear, look at us!" She fussed, wiping at her own tear- streaked face, "Forgive me, Edward dear, how are you?"

I felt him walk closer and pause at my side. "Mrs. Swan," Edward murmured politely; he bent at his waist and smoothly kissed my mother's hand. "Tis' lovely to see you again." His eyes flickered to mine for a brief second but it was enough to confirm that he'd heard what I professed to my mother. I did not know what he was thinking, but I would have had to be blind not to see the sorrow etched on his handsome features.

"There you two are!" Alice bounced up to us happily. She hugged me firmly and, before I could make a sound, she shushed me, "Do not thank me! I invited your mother early because _I _wanted her here and not because of you!"

I glared at her playfully, "And here I thought you wanted to do something nice for me…"

Alice giggled and dragged me along, "Well, come on. Let me introduce you to Jasper's family!"

Everyone smiled at her enthusiasm as we joined them for tea. I glanced around and saw my mother and Edward trailing behind us slowly. They were talking to each other in hushed tones. I frowned but didn't have time to dwell on it, because Alice dragged me into introductions.

"Bella, meet Jasper's mother, Mrs. Charlotte Hale," Alice smiled brightly towards a beautiful, older- looking version of Rosalie.

"It's an honour to meet you, Mrs. Hale." I said respectfully.

"Bella, dearest, nice to meet you, finally!" Mrs. Hale exclaimed, "These two girls have bitten my ears off praising you!" She pulled me in for a hug while Alice and Rose laughed. I blushed, sitting beside Esme on a very comfortable white settee.

"I must say, Carlisle, you have certainly found a gorgeous daughter in law! Where can I get a similar one?" I heard the man who was bouncing Henry on his lap ask with a laugh.

Alice gasped, "I dare say, Sir, you have already found yourself a beautiful daughter in law!"

"Really, where might she be?" the older man, who I guessed was Mr. Hale, replied with a mischievous smile.

"Peter, behave yourself!" Mrs. Hale chastised him then turned to me with an apologetic face, "Forgive him, Bella, he's really quite harmless."

" I was only teasing Alice, Miss Bella," Mr. Hale winked in my direction; I giggled. Mrs. Hale shook her head with a fond smile.

Edward and Mama finally made it to where we were all sitting. My mother smiled, but I could still see tears in her eyes; my brow furrowed at the sight. Turning, I saw Edward walk up and sit across from me. He civilly greeted everyone, but otherwise stayed quiet. He looked as if he were anticipating something.

"Edward, Bella, you must allow me to congratulate you on your marriage," Mrs. Hale said politely.

"Thank you," we both mumbled. I looked at the grass below my feet, blushing.

Then, everyone suddenly fell silent and I sensed that Mrs. Hale was waiting for us to say something. I raised my eyes and saw Edward staring in my direction. He had an expectant look, as well, that put me instantly on guard. Letting my gaze wander, I realized that all the Cullens were slightly tense in their posture.

"Oh, Papa!" Rose burst all of a sudden, "Stop trying to feed Henry biscuits! He does not have teeth yet!"

Everyone laughed at Rose's chiding and I felt the tension dissipate. "Are children not wonderful?" Mrs. Hale asked no one in particular, gazing lovingly at her grandson. I looked over at little Henry, who was sitting quiet in his grandfather's lap, and smiled. He was such a delightful little baby.

"Yes," Rose answered just as softly, clutching Emmett's hand, "Being a mother means everything to me. Emmett and Henry are my life."

I felt my heart drop at their display. The way they stared at each other and then at their son with such love made me yearn for something similar. They were living my dream; a dream that might never come true for me, though. I dropped my eyes again. I swallowed a couple of times to get rid of the tightening in my throat.

"Esme, dear, you must be so excited about _finally_ having all your children married," Mrs. Hale started again.

"Yes," Esme stated. I could hear a hint of trepidation in her voice.

"And you must be so ecstatic about your growing family!" Mrs. Hale continued. From the corner of my eye, I saw Esme nod. There was another pause before Mrs. Hale continued, "I suppose we may be hearing some good news from Edward and Bella soon, then? Have they not been married for more than one moon cycle?"

I stopped breathing and all the blood drained from my face. I knew everyone one was staring at me but I couldn't make myself meet their gazes. What could I say? What would my mother think? I knew I had to say something but I was frozen.

"Mother!" Rose exclaimed, "This is not an appropriate conversation we should be having, especially in the presence of the gentlemen!"

I felt my breath hitch at Rosalie's words, for they reminded me that Edward sat right across from me. What was he thinking? I felt absolutely humiliated. Tears pricked my eyes and I had trouble breathing. I raised my gaze slowly. I knew he was looking right at me before I even met his eyes, but I didn't expect to see the concern that was most evident in his gaze. His lips parted, mouthing my name soundlessly and somehow I felt less troubled. Then he nodded at me and stood up.

"I apologize, but my wife and I are still a tad weary from our journey," Edward said smoothly but, with a hint of steel in his tone, "If it's not too much trouble, we would like to go back to our rooms and rest."

"Of course not," Rose spoke before anyone could object, "In fact, I believe we are _all _exhausted. Let us rest and meet again for dinner, shall we?"

From beside me Esme spoke, "Yes, why don't you children rest."

Everyone stood up, chattering about the various tasks that needed to be done. Edward stepped forward without another word and gave me his hand, which I solemnly accepted. He mumbled a quick, "Excuse us," and swiftly steered us back in the direction of the Manor. With one last glance at my mother, who was watching our retreat with interest, I let Edward lead me back to our chamber. I knew she would be questioning me later but, at the moment, I was too mortified to even think about the conclusions she might have come up with.

Edward walked in long, fast strides that I barely managed to keep up with. I knew he was bothered by what had just happened but I did not know what I could say or do to fix this. So, I held my peace and let him take me away from the inquisitive Mrs. Hale. Suddenly, his warning from before made complete sense; he knew that something was bound to happen.

We reached our bedchamber in silence. I walked in, fully prepared to nap for the rest of the afternoon, but, once again, I caught sight of the miniature bed and froze. I swivelled around, hoping he would come up with some solution to our _miniature _problem. However, I lost my train of thought as soon as I caught sight of his expression. He was just staring at me as if he were on the brink of a great relavation. His eyes were blazing with an intensity I had never seen before. My heart lurched when he took a step towards me. What was he thinking?

"Bella," Edward whispered, only two steps away from me. His expression was soft but there was a look of barely concealed desperation that tugged at me. His right hand came towards my face as if to cup my cheek, but I curtly moved away.

"Yes?" I asked in a cold voice.

I heard him sigh before he spoke in a defeated tone, "I understand that you may never trust me… because of the circumstances in which we had to wed and… what happened so far in our marriage but Isabella… if – if there is… some_thing, anything_ you _want _… from me… uh – you only have to… ask. I – I…"

I gazed at him, thoroughly confused. Why was he stuttering so much? Was he blushing? The slightly tint of pink around his ears and high in his cheekbones was a little disconcerting. What did he mean? "Pardon me," I replied, "but I haven't a clue what you are trying to say. I don't need anything; I'm quite sure Alice packed everything I would need."

His jaw clenched at my words. Edward's eyes bore into mine before he continued in a much more resolved tone, "Tis' not a thing _Alice _can pack. Tis' something only _I _can give you. What Mrs. Hale said—"

"Stop," I exclaimed, as realization of what he was talking about dawned on me, "Please, do _not _continue."

Edward was in front of me in two long strides, his face just inches from mine, and his eyes blazing. "If tis' what you _want_," he whispered, "I shall give it to you… Bella, I cannot take something like that away from you."

"Stop, Edward, _please,_" I begged in a tight voice.

He shook his head and his hands gently reached up to cup my neck. "Bella," he murmured, "If tis' a child you want, I will—"

"For God's sake, Edward, stop!" I wrenched myself away from him. I felt blood pound loudly in my ears as I stared at his confused and hurt visage. My eyes burned with tears. "Now, this is not the time," I said in a hoarse voice, holding up my palm to stop him from coming closer.

"Bella, I understand," he said with a pleading look in his eyes, "But I did not think—"

"Yes, you did not think!" I exclaimed, "Not before Mrs. Hale brought it up, but I do not care for what people think, Edward. So, please stop feeling pity for me."

I sat on the edge of the bed without glancing at him. Everything fell silent as if we were frozen in time. Shutting my eyes, I wrapped my arms around myself. I did not know how much more I could take. After what felt like a century, I felt Edward sit next to me. He touched my cheek and wiped away a teardrop, I did not even know had been there.

"I do not know how to fix this, Bella," his said in a raw voice, "I ruined my life but I do not want to ruin yours."

I slowly opened my eyes, blinking away some tears and threw a careful glance at him. His green orbs looked dull and glazed. His complexion was so pale and there were light purple rings under his eyes. It hurt to look at him, everything hurt.

He took a staggering breath before he continued, "I was young, Bella. I was so whole and content with my life. I loved my family more than anything in the world. I would do anything just to see a smile on my sister's face or to get a laugh out of my brother. Never in my darkest nightmares, did I imagine I would end up the way I am. Everything was perfect in my life. I was _happy. _Then, in one thoughtless night, my world fell apart…"

Edward watched me with a controlled expression. I knew this had to be difficult for him but I wanted him to endure it. I needed to hear what he had to say, to hear his side of the story. I needed him to open up to me. He took a deep breath and ran a hand roughly through his hair. Then he started again, "I know what Rosalie told you. But I only remember waking up to a horrid sight. She was _bruised _and _bleeding, _Bella. I –I cannot begin to tell you how I felt in that moment; it haunts me still. Self- loathing consumed me and the only person who could reach to me was her. Her forgiveness meant everything to me; but I naïve enough to think I wanted her love. So, I gave her everything to make her happy. I always knew there was something wrong but I was so lost, Bella. I did not even understand why."

Edward's voice cracked and I could see tears pooling in his eyes. I reached out my hand and he took it, securely enfolding it both of his. Clearing his throat he continued, "When she met my family at Emmett and Rose's engagement ball, I thought my life was finally back to normal. I felt as if everything was going to be perfect hereafter… But—but she left. She left. She left reminding me of what a monster I am and how wrong I was about everything. She blamed my family and left without a trace."

Tears were running freely down his cheeks but he did not remove his gaze from mine. There was so much pain in his voice and face; I wondered if this was the first time he'd ever spoken about this to anyone. Edward took another shuddering breath and shut his eyes. The pressure of his hand on mine tightened on mine. "I confronted my family about what she'd implied. My parents just told me to forget her. Emmett told me to stop making a fool out of myself. Rose… she hid nothing. I asked her for the letters but she said she didn't think to keep them at the time. I was shaken, Bella, and tried as I might, I could not believe them. Hatred became my one emotion. I hated myself. I hated my family. God, I hated _her. _For years, I drowned in self-disgust. I blamed my family because I did not know what else to do. I didn't understand how my life could be so horrible… or w—why."

Edward stopped suddenly. He ducked his head and stiffened. I just stared at him, thoroughly dazed. Then I realized that his whole body was quivering. Drawing in a shallow breath, I scooted a little closer to him. Bit by bit, he turned his head toward me and I saw that his eyes were bloodshot, even though his gaze was penetrating. My heart broke at the sight in front of me; he was crying.

"Why— why would that happen, Bella?" he whimpered, "Why would she – she do that? Why did she—"

"Oh, Edward," I breathed, putting my arms around him without hesitation.

He did not stop me. He only held on to me firmly and wept into the crook of my neck. My own tears flowed down my face as he trembled in my arms. I tightened my hold on him. "Shhhh," I repeated over and over again.

"Why Bella?" he cried into my neck, "Why did I not understand? Why would she do that? Why did they not try to help me? Why did they leave me to my self- hatred? I do not know what to do now, Bella. Help me, save me… _please._"

"Shhhh, Edward," I said again stroking his hair, "It shall be alright; tis' not too late."

He was crying in earnest and I felt my heart break at every sob coming out of his chest. Every second that passed, I was more and more desperate. How could I help him? Where would we go from there? Did he really still love her? Had he ever, really loved her? No matter, I refused to let him drown in his sorrow once more. I held on to him, stroking his hair and calming his anguish. Seconds turned to minutes and minutes turned to hours, yet I did not let him go. No one came to our rooms, so I assumed everyone was still resting. Eventually, he quieted and there was nothing but silence. I concentrated on the beats of his heart and tried to calm my own distressed mind. Still stroking his hair, I pulled us further on the bed and laid down. Edward sniffled but did not object. He flexed his arms around my waist and moved his head back to finally meet my gaze. His eyes were swollen and redder than before. His cheeks were flushed and his nose shiny and pink. Carefully, I raised my hand and caressed his face. Edward probed my face with a wondering gaze.

"You're beautiful," he whispered in one shallow breath.

I lowered my head and blushed a dark shade of red at his words. Ironic, how I was thinking the same thing about him. Feeling the heat of his scrutiny, I started to stutter, "Ed- Edward I… I mean, where do we… what I am trying to say is—" My face burned with embarrassed and I did not dare look up.

His arms squeezed around me as his lips touched my forehead. He sighed, "You have to understand that I do not pity you, love. You are too good for me; I pity myself. I ask for your forgiveness and your patience. Give me time, Bella. Give me time and I will give you everything your heart can ever desire. I –I want a family… with you. Please, Bella, I do not know what else I can do."

I gaped at him, stunned. "What about Tanya?" I asked, swallowing the knot in my throat.

Edward shook his head. "_You _are my wife, Bella, I am sorry it took so long for me to truly comprehend that," he said confessed.

"But you said you loved her…" I squeaked, feeling my throat constrict again and my eyes flood with tears.

Edward sighed again and I felt his lips on my forehead again. His arms tightened around me even more. "I know in my heart it wasn't true, not after all this time…" he murmured.

Tears now ran free down my face at his words. I shook my head against his chest vehemently. "You – you cannot just ta—take it back! You said you loved her!"

He did loosen his hold on me, "I am so, so sorry."

I kept shaking my head. He started to look as desperate as I felt and I realized I wanted the same thing as he did. If we wanted something good to come out of our marriage we both had to make an effort. We both had to forgive and forget. We needed it. I needed it; I had to be selfish and think of my own future, which I knew could not exist without Edward. No matter how much I told myself that it would not matter if he left me, the truth was I could not survive without the safety of a husband. I took a deep and staggering breath before meeting his eyes.

"Next time Mrs. Hale says something, do not jump to conclusions," I said with a grimace, "We need to figure out our relationship without the influence of others."

A look of relief flooded his features and he gave me a timid smile. My heart lurched and I felt my face heat up. Gazing at him from underneath my lashes, I returned that smile and then, without a conscious thought, we both drifted off into a deep slumber.

The next thing I knew, I was waking up to a bright and cold room. I stretched my arms above my head and sensed something heavy on my chest. Disoriented, I looked down and saw a mop of bronze hair tickling my neck. I paused as visions from yesterday came back to me. I glanced around the room in confusion. _Yesterday? _Did we really sleep through the whole evening and night? I wondered whether Rose had tried to summon us.

I sighed, rubbing my eyes. The conversation I had, had with Edward seemed surreal in the harsh daylight. I wondered whether he would take his words back. Would he still be distant and cold as before? I sighed again. How did we even begin to clean up the mess that was our marriage? Turning my head to the side, I noticed a glass of water atop the side table. Suddenly, my throat felt parched; all the crying from the previous day had made my throat quite sore now. Slowly, I started to break free from Edward's hold but his arm squeezed around me so I could not even stir.

"Edward?" I whispered. Clearing my throat, I tried again. "Edward?"

He only mumbled incoherently. Hesitant, I touched his hair. I was sure this was going to be very awkward. This was the first time we were waking up together in an intimate position, and this bed was not helping the situation. In fact, this was the first we were waking up together in two months…

I breathed deeply, before speaking in a slightly louder voice, "Edward?"

"Mmmm…" was his only response.

I tried to pry his arms away from me but he did not budge. I groaned, "Edward. Please, wake up."

Sluggish, his arm loosened around me. I do not even think he was aware of his movements. Relaxing a bit, I tried to sit up but then abruptly froze as I felt Edward nuzzle his face into my chest. My own face burned in response to his actions, and my heartbeat spluttered. Timidly, I reached to touch his hair again.

"Uh…tis' morn," I mumbled, still blushing. He grunted something unintelligible and I had a feeling he was still too drowsy to understand what he was doing. Nonetheless, he somnolently raised his head a bit. For a long moment, there was perplexity on his face as he stared down at my chest. I flushed again under his scrutiny and looked away. After what felt like an eternity, Edward cleared his throat and lifted himself off me.

"Forgive me, I… uh," he said in a husky voice. I twisted my head around to see him scooting away from me. He kept running his hands through his already chaotic hair and his ears were unusually pink. I sat up, feeling the awkwardness settle in. After yesterday's resolution, I still did not how to act around him. We decided to try… but what exactly had he meant by that? I knew I was not truly angry with him anymore but it I also knew it was going to take some time for me, for both of us, to forget what had happened.

"Tis' quite alright; you were asleep," I said softly. Then clutching the glass of water, I drank greedily. It wasn't until I put the glass back down that I noticed Edward staring at me warily. I gave him a puzzled look. "Yes?" I questioned.

He was about to answer for a brief instant, but then only shook his head. I cocked my eyebrow at him and waited for his response. He sighed, "I meant what I said before." His eyes flashed with desperation while I stayed silent.

Then, I glanced down at my hands and exhaled loudly. "We will just have to wait and see then…" I muttered. He pursed his lips and I was sure he would have continued if not for the loud knocking on the door. My eyes flickered from him to the opposite side of the room in haste. Edward gave me a reassuring look and stood to answer it.

The door opened to reveal the stormy arrival of Rosalie, whose face was etched with stone-cold fury. Her hands were balled into tight fists as she glared between Edward and me. "Rose?" I heard Edward ask uncertainly. She held up her hand to stop him and spoke in a very controlled voice.

"I hope you two have your act together," she said emotionlessly, looking between Edward and me again. Somehow, I knew whatever she had to say would not be good but there was no turning back now. Edward's expression matched mine as we both waited for Rose to explain herself.

"Tis' time," she announced, "Tanya is here."

**Hi. **

**Uhhhh… **

**I'm back? **

**Ok, I know everyone is frustrated with me but give me a minute to explain. To those who care, get ready for a long-ass AN: Not really but still… **

**Well, I don't really know what to say now. Um, I've been super busy I guess. I would like to thank those who PM'ed me asking if I still alive or not. I tried to reply to as many as I could, seriously everyone in this fandom is so freaking wonderful. So thank you all; I honestly missed all of this. You guys are soo nice!**

**As for YAMLN itself, well I just want to thank you all for helping me cross the 2 k mark. I never expected YAMLN to reach this level of recognition. So thank you again. I know I probably lost some readers because of the unofficial hiatus I took but then again I also would like to welcome new readers. **

**Throughout the months I was MIA, YAMLN was nominated for TLS's fic of the week award. Twice. That was quite an honour. Thank you to those who nominated and voted for me. That still makes me smile. Special thanks to Nanismo79 who was so F'ing thoughtful! She created a wonderful pdf version for YAMLN. It's beautiful and when YAMLN is completed I might put it up for everyone… maybe. **

**Another HUGE thanks goes out to my new beta LaMomo! She knows her stuff and is an absolute godsend! Girl you are amazing! **

**As for Edward and Bella here, well you guys the chapter what do you think? **

**XOXO**

**Ishey-EJ **

**PS, I don't want to hear about how inappropriate Mrs. Hale was because that was the point! **

**PSS, No, I will not take forever to update again. **

**PSSS, Love you all! **


	24. Her Past

**EPOV**

Chapter 23 – Her Past

I was floating. It was so warm and, for the first time in years, I felt whole, content. I felt her hand in my hair. I knew it was _her_ because of the sensations that prickled from my scalp to my toes. I hummed in response at that blissful feeling.

"Edward?" Her voice called out to me. I hummed again, relishing the moment. The feeling was everywhere, she was everywhere. I heard her say something else, not completely sure what she was asking for.

I felt her shift and my lips turned down in a frown. _Where was she going? _I buried my face in her neck to stop her. To my satisfaction, she did. Her hand was in my hair again and I almost moaned in delight. Then I heard her timid voice again.

"Tis' morn," she said sweetly. I grumbled at her words, knowing we had to get up. _But her skin is so soft… _Nonetheless, I raised my head, barely able to keep my eyes open. The bright sun made it hard for me to see anything, at first. The moment my eyes adjusted to the light, I stared at the sight in front of me in a daze… With strange fascination, I watched her neck turn a delicious shade of pink. She was so soft and rosy. _Except, _I realized, feeling my own face burn, _this is not her neck. Oh. _

I could not help staring. It was a sort of strange charm that kept my muscles locked in place. Then, a most exotic thought came over me; _I wonder how her skin tastes… _My stomach tightened at the thought and I knew I should move away. Pushing myself off of her, I cleared my throat.

"Forgive me, I… uh," I said, not knowing how to continue. I quickly scooted away from her and felt my heart drop.

"Tis' quite alright; you were asleep," she whispered, reaching for the glass of water. I saw her hands shaking and my brows furrowed. _What was she thinking? _I truly hoped that after our last talkshe would be more relaxed around me. It felt good to finally tell her everything. I meant every word I said to her; I wanted our relationship, our marriage to work. I hoped she believed me. Otherwise, I wasn't sure what I could do.

"Yes?" she questioned, finally meeting my gaze.

After a little hesitation, I said what I hoped she'd already understood, "I meant what I said before." I desperately wanted her to comprehend that. I wanted her to believe in me.

She sighed, "We will just have to wait and see, then…"

I wanted to say more but the knock at the door cut me off. I rose to answer it. My mind was finally registering the fact that it was early morning and we had slept through dinner and the whole night. _Why did no one wake us? _The door opened to reveal a stony looking Rosalie. Her gaze was ice-cold and her visage pale with anger. Something was wrong.

"I hope you two have your act together," she said without expression, looking between Bella and me. Our reactions were identical. I took a deep breath and nodded slightly for Rose to continue. I was sure I knew exactly what she was about to say.

"Tis' time," she announced, "Tanya is here."

I felt frozen in place and my expression grew grim as blood drained from my face. It was happening. It was finally happening. I always thought this _reunion _would occur differently. I always thought that I would be drowning in my misery. Yet, at that moment, the only thing that mattered to me was the tiny gasp that escaped from Isabella's lips. My head snapped in her direction at the sound and I took in her extremely pale face and the glazed look in her eyes.

"We shall be fine," I spoke firmly, still staring at Bella. She still had not moved a muscle or made any effort to speak.

"Bella?" Rosalie approached her. Slowly, as if coming back to life, Bella met my gaze and nodded. I sighed, my hand reaching to tug at my hair on its own. She looked terrified and that was what _I_ was afraid of. I glanced back at me, her eyes calculating. "Be dressed and down for lunch immediately," she ordered.

"Lunch!" Bella exclaimed, jumping out of bed. My eyebrows rose in question as well. _How come we weren't summoned earlier? _

Rose sighed. Rubbing her forehead, she spoke in a defeated tone, "She arrived yesterday evening, right before dinner. Her excuse was that she had the dates mixed up and that she could not wait to see me." A vehement snort escaped me, surprising us all. "Either way," Rose continued, "Alice and I agreed to give you both more time before dealing with her. We realize now that maybe we should have let you both talk sooner rather than later, especially since we knew that she was attending with us. I am not apologizing because you deserved it, Edward. However, I suggest that the two of you keep a united front now. You both have a role to play and the Cullen family name will not be disgraced because of the likes of Tanya. Get dressed. Your trunks have already been stored. The servants shall be here in a moment."

Rose gave us another stern look then spun on her heels, leaving the room. I looked back at Bella; she seemed far calmer than earlier. She met my eyes and nodded, as if to say, _we can do this. _She was so much stronger than me; I didn't know how I'd never realized that before.

The servants came in and we both went our separate ways to get dressed. Everything was a blur, and before I knew it, we were standing by the door staring at each other. She was clad in a light pink gown that made the color in her cheeks stand out. Hesitantly, I reached my hand out and let my fingers travel along her cheek bone. As if on cue, her blush darkened. _Beautiful._

"You look lovely," I murmured.

"S—so do you," she stuttered. Then she groaned and ducked her head, realizing what she'd just said.

I cocked my head to the side with an amused expression. "Oh, really?" I teased, "Do you also find me _dazzling_, Mrs. Cullen?"

She covered her face with her hands and groaned again. I chuckled and pulled her to me. "I was only teasing, love," I whispered in her ear and smiled widely when I felt her shiver, "Regardless, I appreciate what you said."

She nodded, resting her head on my chest. Of their own accord, my arms wrapped around her petite frame, and we found ourselves in an intimate embrace. It was so surreal. Three days ago I was wondering if Bella would ever speak to me again. Then, all of a sudden, Bella froze and pulled away as if she were having the same thoughts as me. I couldn't blame her for the distance between us, however, that did not stop the tiny ache in my heart. How odd.

"We should go," she said, her eyes downcast.

"Yes – ahem—we shall," I turned to walk out but stopped. Instead my eyes roamed her pale face again and again before I finally spoke. "Don't look ashamed in front of her," I said in a hard voice, "You are not inferior to her Bella, and despite what our marriage suffered till now, you need to walk out of this room with your head held high. You survived. You are going to survive this because _I'm _not going to let her between us anymore. Do you understand?"

She stared at me with wide, brown eyes full of questions and uncertainty. I knew there was nothing I could do but prove my worthiness over time. I prayed that Bella and I make it out unwounded, because my past was about to collide with my future.

"Shall we?" I asked, offering her my arm. She nodded and silently took it.

This was it.

With timid steps, we walked through the halls in a heavy silence. There was no dread, fear or quickening of my heartbeat inside me. In fact, I was relatively calm. Something that was unexpected but not unwelcome.

We stopped right before entering the vast dining hall. That's when I heard it, the high-pitched cackling laugh that belonged to none other than Tanya Denali. Bella's grasp on my arm tightened. She was staring straight ahead, looking absolutely terrified. My jaw clenched at the thought of Bella being scared of Tanya. That wasn't right; it shouldn't be that way. Bella was strong. I knew that, because she could deal with me. She shouldn't be scared of anyone. No one should be able to hurt her, especially Tanya. If anyone ever thought of laying a finger on her I would…

I stopped short, suddenly confused by my fierce protectiveness over Bella. I looked down at her and saw that she was watching me. We just stared at each other, trying to communicate whatever was going through our minds. _ I'll protect you, Bella. I promise. _I hoped that, after yesterday, Bella would understand that I was different, that I'd changed, that she'd made the difference.

However, I did not have a chance to say anything because there, in the middle of the vast room, stood Tanya. I stopped and watched her. The sun was shining bright through the massive windows exposing us all… and I stared. She was the same. She had the same golden locks, piled high on top of her head, the same icy blue eyes, and that same womanly figure. She was the same. I don't know what I was expecting. I couldn't lie and say that I wasn't curious about her. I even wondered if my past feelings would resurface, though I would never admit that. I was foolishly infatuated once, so I could not blame myself for being curious. I thought I'd feel many emotions.

I felt nothing.

That was a little disconcerting. _Wasn't I supposed to feel like my heart was being ripped from my chest? What about the past three years, which I lived in agony? Why was I so unaffected?_ Pressure on my arm brought me out of my thoughts. My gaze turned towards Bella and something happened in that moment.

She started to walk. With her head held high, just as I knew she should. I felt as if every the entire earth had just shifted. Her terrified expression slowly turned into determination. I watched her in absolute awe. Something inside me altered. My stomach clenched and my heartbeat grew fast. My breathing changed and I had to blink because my eyes were watery all of a sudden. That's when I saw her, really saw her. Bella. My wife.

"There you two are!" Alice's exclamation broke me from my haze.

It was then that I realized that we were being watched and most of my family was present, their expressions ranging from worry to complete fury. This was a monumental moment for all of us. I took a deep breath. It was time to prove myself. Here it goes…

"We apologize. Bella and I were exhausted from our journey," I said in a powerful voice, my eyes scanning the place, "I hope we didn't keep anyone waiting…"

At the sound of my voice, Tanya's gaze met mine. I knew everyone's eyes were on us, waiting, even if they were scattered about the room. I didn't move a muscle. She just watched me. Then she smiled, widely. Latching on to Rosalie's arm, she sauntered towards us.

"Edward," she drawled, "Tis' has been much too long."

"Miss Denali," I nodded in acknowledgement. Her hand came up and rested on my arm. I felt Bella stiffen beside me. Moving away from Tanya's touch, I spoke, "Allow me to introduce my wife, Mrs. Isabella Cullen."

Tanya's gaze flitted to where Bella stood beside me, just realizing that there was someone else near us. Then she smiled, looking entirely too pleased. "Congratulations to you both!" she exclaimed, clapping her hands, "Tis' a pleasure to meet you, Isabella."

Simultaneously, Bella, Rose and I raised our brows at Tanya's display of happiness. Tanya just grinned. _What was going on? _ Bella recovered first. "Pleased to make your acquaintance, Miss Denali," she said sombrely.

"Now, now, Isabella no need for formalities!" Tanya said, waving her hand dismissively, "Edward and I have been acquainted for years. No need for you to be so reserved."

My jaw clenched at her words. _How dare she?_ Before I could reply with something undeniably rude, Bella spoke. "Regardless, we have just met. Therefore, there is no need for you to be overly familiar with me or _my husband_. I would appreciate it if you refrained from referring to us by our Christian names." She was the epitome of calm, but her voice resonated hard as steel. Rose cracked a smile and I felt my chest expand with pride.

Tanya narrowed her eyes, "Very well, _Mrs. Cullen_." With that, she latched on to Rose's arm again and walked off.

And that was it.

No grand entrance. No grand display of emotions. Nothing.

Tanya never tried to start a conversation or even look at us again. She mostly kept her attention focused on Rose and Henry, talking only about the new fashions in London. It was as if she didn't care. In fact, I knew she did not care. Everyone realized it. I do not know what we were all expecting, but it certainly wasn't this. Bella looked the most confused. She kept stealing glances between me and Tanya, when she thought no one was looking. In a way, she had every right to be confused. After everything I did and said, she had to be wondering why Tanya and I were so impassive towards each other.

Lunch was completely uneventful, much to my family's relief. Bella sat next to her mother, while I sat across from her. She seemed genuinely happy to see her mother. They conversed in hushed tones throughout the meal. She seemed so young, especially when she smiled. I was reminded of what she'd said to her mother yesterday. _Did she truly feel so lonely? _

I sulked in my seat until I saw everyone had finished eating. I was hoping to get Bella alone, so I could ask her what she was thinking, but Alice stole her away before I could get the words out. The ladies exited the room and Emmett laughed my lost expression.

"That went quite well. Did it not, Eddie Boy?" he asked, joyfully throwing his arm over my shoulders.

"Why, what were you expecting?" I cocked my brow haughtily.

"Well… I was _hoping _to see our little Bella scratch out the witch's eyes," he said with an evil gleam in his eye.

"Honestly, Emmett, could you ever try to be a gentleman?" I commented, shaking his arm off me.

I walked away but he grabbed my arm. "Listen," he said seriously this time, "I'm glad the situation didn't blow up in your face. You deserve a break, little brother, but… _be careful_. Something isn't right."

I stared at his grave expression and nodded. "You are right," I said in the same tone, "This does not add up."

He nodded and clapped my shoulder, "Well, I am here for you, Edward… even if you _are_ an idiot at the best of times." And that was why I loved my brother.

I smiled, "Thank you, Emmett."

Something caught his eye over my shoulder and suddenly his infectious grin was back. "Ah, the lovely Mrs. Swan. What can we do for you, madam?" he asked, showing off his dimples. My brother was such a charmer.

I turned around and saw Mrs. Swan walking towards us. She smiled politely at Emmett and blushed. It reminded me of Bella. Looking over at me, she asked, "I was hoping if you would be able to take a turn about the gardens with me?"

I smiled down at her, "That would—"

"He would love to, milady," Emmett said cutting me off, "After all, you are his favourite mother in law!"

I scowled at him. "She is my _only _mother in law, Emmett," I said, stunned at his ridiculousness.

"Well, tis' settled then!" he exclaimed, as if all the problems in the worlds were solved. Mrs. Swan giggled and I just shook my head at him.

Offering my arm, I smiled, "Shall we?"

It was a gorgeous afternoon, truly hard to believe that it was December. I silently mused, as we walked, how Alice would react if there were no snow on her wedding day. Then, I shuddered at the thought. A delicate throat clearing brought me out of my musings. I smiled sheepishly at Mrs. Swan, who was waiting for my attention.

"I wanted to thank you, Edward," she started softly, "For taking such good care of my little Isabella. Or should I say _Bella_?" She smiled up at me and I returned it. "I know your marriage was set in less than ideal circumstances and to be honest, I was against it." I raised my brows at her honesty. She patted my arm and continued, "I know what my husband was thinking when he arranged your betrothal, but I was worried so very much about my daughter. Now though, I am so happy to see Isabella happy."

I stayed quiet for a moment, letting her words sink in. Then I asked, "Do you really think she's happy?"

Mrs. Swan nodded, smiling a little. However, there was a prominent sadness in her eyes. "It has been some time. I've never really seen her this content since…"

"Since when?" I was pretty sure I knew the answer to that, but the way she was talking made me feel on edge. _Did Isabella _truly _look content today? _That was absurd.

"Since _the accident_, dear," she whispered. I felt her hand shake on my arm and I was quick to reassure her.

"Forgive me, I shouldn't have brought that up," I apologised.

Mrs. Swan was quiet for a little while. Feeling strangely guilty, I was quick to reassure her, "She's fine now. Mr. Swan found her, remember?"

Her head snapped in my direction and her eyes widened. "Found her?" she echoed my words. I nodded, hoping I could convey my support. Mrs. Swan swallowed thickly; she was tearing up. "Charles didn't find her," she whispered almost to herself.

"Excuse me?" I questioned, suddenly feeling that she was hiding something from me. Mrs. Swan was still trembling beside me, so I led her over to the gazebo. She sat down, looking down at her hands. "Mrs. Swan, would you please explain what you just said," I asked, starting to feel a little agitated.

"Edward, tell me, how much do you know about what happened to Isabella?" she asked very quietly.

I stared at her a little disconcerted, but answered anyway. "Uh…" I ran a hand through my hair, "Only that Bella went missing for two days and Mr. Swan found her in the forest. She was attacked by an animal but everyone assumed the worst, thinking Mr. Swan's debtors had taken her…" I watched horror dawn on Mrs. Swan's face, and flatly realized, "That's not what happened, is it?"

Tears escaped from her eyes and ran freely down her cheeks while I stood there, stunned at my realization. Without a conscious thought, I strode over to her and crouched by her side. Thickly swallowing a lump in my throat, I demanded, "What happened to her?"

Mrs. Swan hid her face in her hands. "Oh dear, what have I done?" she cried.

My jaw clenched at her words. Something was very wrong and it suddenly dawned on me that I had been misled about Isabella's past. Reining in my frustration and impatience, I gave her my handkerchief. Slowly I said, "Mrs. Swan, please tell me what happened to Isabella."

"I thought you were aware," she sniffed, "I thought she'd told you. She's completely innocent, Edward. I – I thought you knew… Lord, what have I done … I cannot… you should…"

"Mrs. Swan," I interrupted calmly, "What do you speak of? I need to know. She _wants _me to know… but I am afraid my father left out some _details_… Please, I beg you to disclose what happened to Bella. I'm her husband. I will protect her, not hold whatever happened against her. _Please._"

My mother in law wiped her eyes with shaky hands. She looked utterly pained. Then, she met my eyes and whispered, "She was _taken_, Edward. My poor child was taken from me for two _weeks… _then she was thrown on our doorstep broken and unconscious." I stared at her, wide-eyed and uncomprehending. Blood had drained from my face and I sat there, still as stone. Mrs. Swan sniffed again but this time she composed herself well. She sat up straighter and I could make out anger along with unimaginable pain within her eyes. "My family's name was destroyed. We were mocked and the rumors grew into horrid stories. I cannot begin to tell you what my Isabella went through. She forgot how to smile. I wish I could explain. However, now it is not my place to tell you this. I had thought – had hoped – that you were aware of our circumstances. Mr. Swan had told Mr. Cullen everything and, as her husband, you deserve to know. But not from me, perhaps your father would be the appropriate person to explain…" Gracefully rising, she looked down at me with gentle pleading eyes, "Please do not blame her for anything. I promise you, she is innocent. Please, please take care of her."

She took a deep breath while I stared uncomprehendingly into the distance. "I will escort myself back to the manor." With that, she turned and left.

_Taken. _

_She was taken for two weeks. _

_Broken and unconscious._

_Left on our doorstep._

Bella.

Everything happened all at once. All the air rushed out of my lungs, my whole body started to quake. My vision blurred and I was instantly on my feet. My Bella had been hurt severely and I was only just informed. I needed answers. Now. Nothing else mattered. Anger and adrenaline pulsed through my veins as I strode towards where I knew I would find my father.

Walking through the grand halls, I stopped right outside the room where all the men were gathered. They all stopped and looked at me in surprise when I entered. My father stood up.

"Are you alright, son?" he asked, concern evident in his voice. My hands clenched into fists at the sight of it. He'd lied to me, completely and utterly.

"May I have a word with you?" I hissed, "Alone."

He nodded, probably realizing how angry I was but not knowing the reason why. He excused himself from the gathering and walked over to me. Putting a hand on my shoulder, he said, "Let us go talk in the library." Still seething in anger, I turned on my heels and walked away. As soon as the library doors closed behind him, I let my rage show.

"You lied to me," I said grinding my teeth.

"Edward, son, what are you speaking of?" My father's concern only enraged me more, "Are you alright?"

I'd had enough.

"YOU LIED TO ME!" I shouted. My father looked taken aback at my outburst but I continued, seeing red, "She was taken! Taken for weeks, yet you just told me she'd gone missing in a godforsaken _forest_ for two days!"

Comprehension dawned on my father's features. He looked perfectly calm, albeit a little resigned. He waved towards the armchairs and ordered, his tone infuriatingly composed, "Keep your voice down and let us discuss this in a civilized manner."

I snorted, "I will do no such thing." My hands were still shaking and I had no intention of being civilized. I strode right up to my father and pointed a finger at his chest, "You lied. She wanted me to know everything, yet _you _lied to me. Why?"

My father's composed visage cracked as I saw a hint of anger in his eyes. "Control your emotions," he said in a deadly voice, "And remember whom you are speaking to."

I laughed bitterly, turning away from him, and pulling at my hair. I heard him sigh before he walked to the windows facing the front yard of the manor. Then he turned to glare at me, "That kind of behaviour is exactly the reason why I kept Bella's past from you. Have you realized, Edward, that your marriage – for what it is - has only revolved around _your past relationship _with Miss Denali? Nothing has mattered to you except how_ unfair_ life is to _you._ Do you even care about your wife?"

His words cut me like a knife. I knew he was accurate in his accusations; however, I chose to pointedly ignore him. Feeling anger bubble inside me again, I erupted, "I want to know the truth!"

"YOU CANNOT HANDLE THE TRUTH!" I was stunned that my father actually lost his composure. What I saw scared me. I had never seen Carlisle Cullen so… _upset_. I stood perfectly still, waiting for him to continue. He shook his head, breathing heavily and running a hand through his hair. He glared up at me again.

"Sit." He commanded in a cold tone. His expression was daring me to object. I didn't. Instead, I stiffly walked over to the armchair beside the fireplace and sat down. He stayed by the windows, glaring at me. Then he began, "I met Charles Swan at Oxford. He was a quiet man, always so serious and calms, so different from everyone else; yet, for some reason he and I became fast friends. In fact, we became the best of friends. Oh, I cannot even think of those times without being reminded of how life turned out for the one person I thought deserved the best in life." It was hard to see those emotions pass by on my father's face. He looked very saddened, which increased my anxiety. Sighing, he continued, "Time passes too quickly, and before you know it, everything you once had is but a memory. We kept in touch, up until you and Alice were five or six years old. I remember the last time I saw him; he was so happy with his wife and little Bella in his arms. He told me that he was going into business and that he could finally give his family all the luxuries of life. I asked him what he was planning to do and he answered vaguely, but emphasized the fact that he was working with a smart business man. To this day, I wish that I had given him some advice, or at least told him to be careful with his decisions. However, I could not bring myself to; he was happier than I had ever seen him… Sometimes I wonder what would have happened if _I _offered to help him."

It fell quiet for a long moment. My father looked like he was a million memories away and I sat there, digesting what he'd just revealed to me. I knew that my father had to have some respect for Charles Swan for him to make me marry his daughter, but were they really such good friends? What happened? Did I ever meet Isabella as a child? My curiosity got the better of me. "What happened?" I asked.

My father looked at me with hardened eyes. "Just what I had suspected, though I did not find that out until it was too late. The man, Charles's so-called business partner, was a cheat." I stared at him, uncomprehending. My father sighed, "He tricked Charles into borrowing a lot of money from some very shady people. Then, one day he just disappeared with all of it."

"What?" I gasped, astonished, "Who was he?"

"I don't know," he shrugged, "Charles refused to say. Whoever he was, he left Charles to deal with all the debtors. Charles sold everything he owned, but there was no way he could have paid off the amount he owed. However, he tried. For years, the Swans lived in poverty while he tried to pay off his debt."

"What does Bella have to do with this? How did you find out about all of this if you were not even in contact with Mr. Swan? Why didn't you help them, if you knew of their situation? How do you know all of this?" All of these questions just flew out of my mouth. I was starting to get frustrated and a little scared.

"Calm down, Edward," my father said with a serious glint in his eyes, "Our correspondence just grew less and less frequent over time. It wasn't until I heard rumours, that I knew something was very wrong."

I stared at him, feeling my heartbeat grow faster. "What happened to Bella?" I whispered, "Please, just tell me."

"Like I said, Charles owed money to some very powerful people," His blue eyes were suddenly ice cold, "He couldn't pay them back and after all that time they got fed up… and they took Bella. We don't whom it was that gave such the order specifically, but it happened nonetheless. Nobody knows the details, nobody. Expect Bella, that is, and she refuses to talk." I sat there stunned, my muscles locked in place. He continued, "Earlier this year, I received a letter from Charles begging me to help him. I went to see him immediately and what I saw broke my heart. He was sick, just completely lifeless. He told me everything then, about his deceitful partner, about the debtors and about his only daughter who'd gone through so much. He was ashamed. And with all the power he had left, he asked me to take care of his little girl. He said she was innocent but, of course, no one in society would believe that… "

"What do you mean? Bella was taken against her will!" I growled.

"Seriously, Edward, do you really think her reputation was intact after everything that happened? People assumed that Charles sold his only daughter to pay off his debt," My father said bluntly, "No one believed that Bella was kidnapped. Especially after Bella _came back_ and none of Charles debtors ever asked for their money."

Hearing his words made something in me snap. A dark thought crossed my mind and suddenly I was on my feet. My hands started to clench and I was seeing red. "Did—" I swallowed thickly, "Her reputation? Did – did they _hurt _her? Was she— brutalized?" No. _No!_ I screamed inside, _I will kill them. Whoever it was, I would hunt them down and –_

"No," My father's voice, hard as steel, broke through my rage.

"How can you be so sure?" I seethed.

"I can't be," he said honestly and his words made my guts wrench, "But I believed Charles when he said that his daughter is pure. Even though she refused to talk about anything, she made sure that her father knew nothing like _that had _happened to her."

This was too much. I could not think. Isabella. My Bella. What had happened to her? Who did it? Why? I pinched the bridge of my nose, trying to rein in my emotions. Slowly, breathing deeply, I asked, "Why do you think the debtors never harassed Mr. Swan again?"

The room fell silent again. I looked at my father and saw that he was deep in thought. His brow furrowed as he answered, "I do not know. I find it strange that Bella was even _returned, _especially without permanent damage." At the snarl that escaped from my lips, he backtracked, "Not that I am not glad that she's safe. But tis' quite odd, why would they – or whoever it was – just _return _Bella and then not even ask for money after that?"

I glared at him, "From what I just heard, she wasn't _returned. _She was _thrown_ on her doorsteps." My father nodded and I cringed at my own words. "Besides," I continued, "Maybe the whole point was to ruin the Swans' reputation…"

My father shook his head, "No, that does not seem plausible. The Swans were never a big part of society. From what I know, they were a very reserved family. Plus, what would the debtors gain from that? Something is amiss and I'm sure only Bella knows what it is."

He looked pensive, as if he were considering some complicated children's puzzle. "How can you be so calm about this?" I swallowed thickly. "Someone who hurt my wife is still out there and you couldn't even tell me before now? Why aren't we looking for them?"

"This happened almost two years ago, Edward," he began.

"Is that supposed to mean anything?" I interjected, feeling helpless and angry.

"No," he stated calmly, "However, there is not much we can do now. You have to understand that there are rumors out there about what happened to the Swans. Not many people know the truth, but if we were to dig into the past, there would be more damage than good done. Bella doesn't want that and I'm sure _you _don't want her to go through that."

"Rumors?" I asked incredulous, "What rumours? I've never—"

"Of course you haven't," he glared, "That is because you've been doing nothing but sulk in the past three years. On the other hand, the rumours were not extreme. There was nothing there to keep society's attention. Still, the people who were acquainted with Charles knew that something had happened to Bella. I cannot be as naïve and think that no one knows it and that they do not talk about it. Nevertheless, now that Bella is a Cullen, no one would dare to even _think _about broaching that subject in our presence. The rest cannot be changed. Frankly, I believe it does not even matter."

I stared at him with glassy eyes. There wasn't one coherent thought in my mind anymore. A shaky breath escaped my lips but no words came out. My father stood up. "And that is all, Edward," he said with a ring of finality, "I did not question Charles any more than this. It was my idea to get you and Bella married. I did it to help a friend and to save my son from himself. After I met Bella for the first time, I knew I'd made the right decision."

I sat there, dazed. I know that if I was the same man as four months ago, I would've been and angry and unreasonable. But somewhere along the way, I'd changed. Now, I felt an emotion other than anger and frustration. It was gratitude. I looked up at my father and for the first time, in a long time, I realized how thankful I was to be a Cullen.

"Thank you," I whispered.

He smiled, and for a brief second, I thought I saw his eyes glistening. He patted my shoulder and, before he could say anything, we heard the loud sounds of a carriage and horses pulling in. Both of us turned our heads to look out the window. What we saw made us freeze. It was the Volturi carriage.

**I know I suck. This took way too long and I know a lot of people hate me for it. No excuses, RL just came at me hard. So sorry. **

**I will be writing shorter chapters from now on because they can be update faster and also because I've taken on another project. It's called Perfection (check it out!). No, it won't interfere with YAMLN. In fact, I feel like writing two stories is going to keep me on track. That being said, the next update will be in two weeks for both YAMLN and Perfection. Yes two weeks. No, I'm not lying. Ok, you'll believe me when you see it. **

**Please review… I hope you guys are still with me**

**Until next time (Two weeks, I promise), **

**Ishey-EJ**

**PS, LaMomo, my wonderful beta, you rule!**


	25. Odium

**JamesPOV**

**Yes a JamesPOV. Shocking, I know. This chapter doesn't directly follow the last one. Instead, it's the night after the welcoming ball. The first night the Volturi arrives. I hope the timeline makes sense, if not let me know! **

**Ok *deep breaths* Here we go… **

Chapter 24 – Odium

I fell back on my bed with a loud groan. _What a night from Hell_, I thought with annoyance. I told Aro that I didn't want to come to this rotten wedding but he wouldn't listen. "You have to make an appearance," he had said, "The Volturi family need to leave their mark!"

The old man had lost his wits. I never understood why "leaving a mark" was so important to him. No one had an ounce of respect for him. _What a fool_, I scoffed internally; _does he really think the Cullens admire him? _ Wretched Cullens. I felt my blood boil at the thought of them; it was another reminder of what a mockery tonight was.

First, I had to endure a whole carriage ride with my _dearest _uncle and listen to his inane chatter. I don't understand why people think he's a smart man. Yes, Aro Volturi is cunning but he's also an utter idiot. He would be nothing without me. Then, on top of my moronic uncle, when we arrived I found out that Tanya was already at Hale Manor. _Ugh. Why do I have to deal with such company?_ I questioned myself bitterly, _that woman was only good for one thing… _

Then, a quiet knock on my door brought a sinister grin on my face, for I was about to experience the only thing Tanya was good at. _Such a __little whore__, _I grinned again. I slowly got up and walked to the door while removing my clothing. There was no doubt in my mind that I was staying in the filthiest room at Hale Manor. There was barely any space to move and the room was in the most secluded area in the Manor. I'm sure Rosalie Cullen had something to do with this. Bitch.

_Oh well, _I shrugged, _at least my nightly rendezvous with __my __eager bint will be without disruption._

I opened the door and quickly ushered in the blonde that stood outside with a shawl tightly wrapped around her shoulders. I closed the door behind me and ripped the shawl from her body. What I saw underneath pleased me greatly. She was in a sheer nightgown and nothing else. I grabbed her shoulders and pulled her towards me. I didn't hesitate before crashing her lips with mine and pushing my tongue into her mouth. She moaned wantonly and I grinded against her.

"Oh, James…" she groaned. _Shut up, bitch. _She wasn't here to talk; I could think of other ways to keep her mouth occupied. I pulled back and threw her on the bed. She gasped in surprise but quickly covered it up by letting out a lustful moan. She nearly ripped off her slip of a gown and lay down on the bed. _Yes, _I thought in remembrance, _this was why I kept her around. _She moaned like a hussy again and gazed at me my shameless eyes. Her hands trialed down her body suggestively. I smirked as she invitingly spread her legs…

Even after I was done with her, I couldn't relax. What happened at the worthless ball tonight wounded my ego greatly. I wasn't going to let this go, especially because Edward Cullen was involved… and his little bitch of a wife. The anger bubbled inside me again and growled audibly.

"What is amiss, darling?" Tanya's unpleasant voice brought me out of my reverie. I hadn't realized that she had her arms wrapped me, intent on cuddling me. I shivered with disgust and pushed her away. Now that I had gotten what she so willingly gave, three times, I didn't want her near me.

"Nothing, love," I crooned in a sickly sweet tone that made me want to vomit.

She stayed quiet for a moment but then she asked, "Are you upset over what happened tonight?"

_What do you think, you little cunt? I was publicly humiliated by the one person I hate most in the world! What do you fucking think? Or do you not think at all? That would explain a lot… _All these thoughts crossed my mind in a flash of fury. Quickly, I jumped out of the bed before I could strangle the bitch. I sat in one the plush chairs and threw my head back.

"Why were you talking to her?" Her annoying voice reached my ears again, jealousy was evident in her tone, "That _girl _is so plain…and boring."

I snorted, _Isabella Swan…Or should I say Cullen, as that son of a bitch calls her. _

"James…" Tanya's whining was grating on my nerves, "Let me help, sweetheart. What can I do to make this better?"

Her offer made me raise my head in interest. The look on Edward Cullen's face when Tanya left him all those years ago flashed across my face. _Tanya, _I grinned, _looks like I just found my ultimate weapon. _I always thought I'd gotten my revenge on him all those years ago when I had Tanya play with his feelings, but after tonight I realized that I can do a lot more damage to that arsehole. This was perfect. I was going to end Edward Cullen without even touching him.

"Tanya?" I whispered, putting on a façade. I slowly got up and walked towards her on the bed.

"Yes?" she asked with an annoying pout on her face. I cupped her cheeks and looked at her with the more sincerely and desperate expression I could conjure up. "Do you love me?" I whispered against her lips. She shivered at the sensation and I knew that she would be amenable to whatever I asked of her.

"Of—of course, darling…"she answered breathlessly.

"Then will you do me a favor?" I asked, with a soft kiss to her lips.

"Ye—yes, anything you want," she whimpered. _What an easy whore, _I thought. 

I rolled on top of her with my hands roaming all over her body. I stared down at her and my expression hardened. "I need you to go back to Edward Cullen," I stated in a deadly tone.

For a long moment she just stared at me in confusion. _Dumb bitch. _Then finally she asked, "But why?" It sounded more like a whine than anything else.

I growled, "Did you not see what happened today?"

"James…" she was clearly pleading now, "I hated doing that before. He was so intensely boring! Also, he is married now to that pig! What can we possibly gain from it? I doubt he'll give me his money anymore."

In my mind, I saw myself striking her so hard that she'd forget how to speak. However, I reined it in. If she was to do what I wanted, I would have to tread carefully. I put a sad and hurtful expression on my face and said, "So you will not help me, love?"

She apologised instantly. "No, no. That is not what I meant!" she replied hurriedly, "I just – I thought we'd done everything we needed to do with Edward… You have your inheritance now; we don't need his money. Also, I doubt he'll so willingly give it to me now; surely he cannot be that pathetic!"

"That is why you need to lure him in again!" I pushed, "I need to make sure the Cullens are publicly humiliated and you, my darling, can do that! Trap him with your beauty and then break him into a million pieces." I dipped my head and thoroughly kissed her mouth for a long while. When I raised my head again, I could tell that she was a little dazed, "Will you do it? Will you help me get my revenge?"

She nodded with a stupefied look on her face but then asked, "Why do you hate him so much?" I didn't bother answering her. Instead, I connected my mouth to hers again and spread her legs underneath me…

When the grey morning light came in through the window, I bid Tanya to leave. The plan was set. Tanya was going to seduce Edward Cullen once more. Then, on the day of the damned wedding, she was going to rip his heart out. Again. That was her part of the plan… I, on the other hand, was going to get my hands on his little bitch. That was the real plan.

With a tired yawn, I dropped back on my bed. This time, however, I felt much more confident. I was going to get my revenge once again, because obviously the last time had not been enough. This time I was going to hurt him like he'd hurt me, an eye for an eye.

I closed my eyes and hummed in satisfaction. A vision of a red-haired beauty came to my mind and I smiled. _We shall get our revenge, love... _I pledged, _I will separate them like he separated us. _

***Wringing her hands in nervousness* so what do you guys think? Not what you expected is it? Well I can honestly say that from here on out there will be no more unveiled mystery. Instead, all the puzzle pieces will slowly come together from now on. Hope this chappie didn't put you guys off too much. I'd love to hear what you think **

**Luvs, **

**Ishey –EJ **

**PS, YAMLN was nominated again for TLS fic of the week. Thank you for nominating and voting! Love you all! **


	26. Peace

**Update fail, I know. But here it is anyway…**

Chapter 25 – Peace

Keeping a furious pace, Edward dragged me along to our chambers. I followed in silence, too stunned from what had just occurred to resist. The halls were quiet since everyone was still attending the ball. Thankfully, the spat that happened between Edward and James had gone unnoticed by the attendees.

As soon as we reached the room, Edward pulled me inside and shut the door. Then, he turned around and started pacing. For a long moment, I just watched him as he yanked at his hair and huffed down at the floor. He was angry, that was certain, but this time I saw worry and anxiety etched across his features. Slowly, I made my way over to the vanity and sat down in front in it, keeping my eyes on Edward.

Today did not go as expected; everything from Edward's little speech this morning, to meeting Tanya for the first time, to seeing James Volturi again. After all these months of pain and anger over Tanya, I imagined her presence would make a significant impact on Edward. If was being honest to myself, I had thought that they would take one look at each other and go running into an embrace. However, nothing happened. Nothing at all. It was astonishing. Tanya didn't seem to care that she was standing in front of a man whose life she had ruined. She did act overly familiar with him when we were introduced, but after that she didn't even look his way nor did she look like she cared about the fact that he was now married.

How odd. How completely infuriating. Was this really the woman Edward had loved? Was she really the reason our marriage was in tatters? My head was throbbing. I'd just realized that we let this self-absorbed woman dictate our lives. From the moment I saw Tanya Denali, I hated her.

"Are you hurt?" Edward's strained voice broke through my reverie. I realized he'd stopped pacing and was now standing in front of me.

"Yes," I nodded as I looked up into his eyes.

"What did he say to you, Bella?" Edward asked softly, but his eyes were burning with intensity.

James Volturi. The moment I realised that he knew about my past, I knew that he was going to cause trouble. Tonight, I was proven right. I sighed, "He mentioned my father… that is why I was so upset."

The furious look in Edward's eyes heightened. He kneeled in front of me and grasped my hands. "What did he say, Bella?" he prompted firmly.

My throat closed as I thought over how James had cornered me in the in the ballroom. Considering the circumstances, I had been having a pleasant evening. Edward was with me the whole time, so sweet and attentive. It was a whole different side to him that I had only seen in glimpses. He didn't look at Tanya once, and again I was astonished. We had just finished making our rounds around the ballroom when Emmett came asking to speak to Edward privately for a moment .I just smiled and told them I'd wait by the windows. I didn't realize we were being watched. The moment Edward was out of sight, James appeared. I took in a ragged breath.

"He gave his condolences…" I answered stiffly, "Then he –he told me he'd heard some rumours about how one of my father's debtors is looking for him…" I remember his sickly sweet, yet threatening voice clearly. _There are men still after your father Isabella… I suggest you pay his debts before history repeats itself. We don't want that, now do we?_ I gasped out loud at the implications of his words_. Are they going to hurt me? No, no! They are coming for me…_

"Bella? Bella!" I felt Edward's arms warp around me. He lifted me carefully, and carried me to the bed. "Shhhh…"he crooned, cradling me in his arms, "No one's coming for you. Shhhh, Bella…"

"Father cannot pay them, Edward! We don't have money, they'll hurt him! They'll take me!" I was hysterical. In the back of my mind, I knew nothing was going to happen but it felt as if all the exhaustion from everything was finally catching up to me. I gave myself over to my fears.

"Shhhh, sweetheart, no one will take you," I heard his velvety voice in my ear, "I'm here, I won't let anything hurt you, love. Shhhh…" My breathing was still coming out in shallow gasps but I managed to open my eyes. His face was only inches away; he was gazing at me with a tender expression filled with sorrow and concern. He still held me closely, but I realized that we were now lying on the bed with me on my back and Edward half on top of me.

"They can hurt us, Edward," I whispered. Tears streamed down the sides of my face, as I stared into his with a helpless expression.

"No, love, no one will hurt us," he uttered, while wiping my tears with the pad of his thumb, "I won't let them."

"He – he said…" I started again but Edward silenced me with his fingers.

"And James Volturi will not come near you again. I promise you," he vowed, "No one will hurt you again."

I nodded but fear still gripped me. Slowly, Edward retracted his fingers from my lips and gazed at me with a gentle and compassionate expression. My heartbeat increased. Did he notice how close we were? I could feel almost every inch of him. He was so warm, yet strong, and his scent was heavenly. I remembered how it felt to stand beside him tonight as he introduced me as his wife. He was nothing like the brash and broken man I had first met. He was so influential, good-natured, respected and most of all so, so handsome. I think he was the Edward his family had known and lost, the one they missed most dearly.

"What are you thinking?" Edward murmured, trailing the back of his hand across my cheek.

I blushed, "Ummm… everything that happened today, I guess."

Edward nodded, solemnly. "I didn't expect Tanya to act like that either," he said.

I balked at his candour. "Are you disappointed?" I asked, afraid to know his answer.

"Disappointed?" he questioned, incredulous, "Of course not!"

I remained silent.

"Bella, look at me," he sighed. I raised my eyes and he gazed back with sincerity. "I am not disappointed in her ignorance. In fact, I'm glad. She means nothing to me now. I will say this again and again, because you are my future, not her. I'm sorry I hurt you in the past. Now I've realized my mistakes and I will do everything in my power to make you happy. Please, Bella, please say you forgive me."

Our conversation from the day we arrived at Hale Manor came to my mind. He cried and begged for time and forgiveness. I was surprised at how much impact one conversation had made on our relationship. Though I was still I little wary, I believed in us. I was about to answer Edward, who was eagerly waiting for my reply. However, I suddenly felt something pinch the skin on my back and, on instinct, I shifted away from him.

"Oh, I'm sorry," Edward said, assuming I wanted him to move away. He sat up swiftly, with hurt evident in his eyes.

"No, no," I was quick to reassure him, while sitting up as well, "My gown is a bit uncomfortable, I need to change, that is all." Rosalie was in charge of dressing me today and I had to say she was worse than Alice. She chose a mint green gown that I didn't even know I had. The whole gown was made of lace upon lace. It was beautiful, but also very tight and itchy.

"I see," he nodded with a look of understanding and quiet relief, "Would you like me to ring for a maid?"

"That is quite alright, I can manage," I mumbled, "Though the corset might be a problem…"

Just as my feet touched the floor beneath me, I heard Edward mutter something unintelligible. "Pardon me?" I asked looking over my shoulder.

"Ahh…" he cleared his throat once, twice, a third time, "I – could assist you… with your corset, I mean. If you need it, that is… I can still ring for a maid if you prefer or –"

"Thank you," I cut him, smirking, before he could say anything else. He was quite endearing when he was flustered. However, the second after those words left my mouth, I froze. Did I just consent to let him help me undress for the night? Instantly, my heartbeat doubled.

"Ah, all right," he mumbled, rubbing the back of his neck, "I'll wait here until you need – uh assistance…"

Without another word, and a thunderous heartbeat, I walked over to my where my nightgown was already laid out for me. I grabbed it quickly then stepped behind the screen. My hands were sweaty as I fumbled with the ties and buttons on the gown. Finally, when there was nothing more I could do, I took in a deep breath.

"Edward?" I called out. Disregarding the fact that my voice shook, I patiently waited for him. I heard him shuffling around before I felt his presence right behind me. The air thickened around us, sizzling with electricity. He was breathing just as heavily as I was as he walked closer to me. When I felt his chest lightly graze my back and his hot breath on my neck, I stopped breathing. I do not know how long we stood like that but it felt endless.

"Breathe, Bella," he exhaled, his lips touching the shell of my ear. I gasped lightly and suddenly felt my face heat up. "I – I umm… Could you please untie my corset?" I asked, cringing when I realized how high my voice sounded.

Edward chuckled softly in my ear, making shivers go down my spine. "I already have, love," he informs me sweetly.

I gasped again and embarrassingly clutched the front of my loosened corset. My face couldn't have burned any hotter. Mortified, I ducked my head and mumbled, "Thank you." For a few seconds, I stayed frozen in my spot, breathing deeply in and out. Then, fully expecting him to have left, I turned around. However, he was still there, watching me with the most penetrating gaze. I let out a startled squeak, silenced by the earnest expression on his face. He had the most passionate and expressive eyes, they pierced through me. The air around us crackled with energy. He raised his hand, hesitant, conflict raging in his eyes, and then swiftly brushed the length of my cheekbone with his fingertips. The trail his fingers left on my skin was alarmingly warm — like I'd been burned, but didn't feel the pain of it yet. He turned without a word and strode quickly away from me.

I changed into my nightgown in a daze. Something had occurred between us, but I wasn't sure what it was. Walking out from behind the screen, I saw Edward standing by the fireplace. He had changed for bed too and was now casually stoking the fire. I mutely walked to the bed and got in. My previous thoughts about how tiny this bed was filled my mind. Nervousness crept up my spine. Restlessly, I turned over on my side, then on my back, then on my other side.

My eyes snapped open as a light chuckle resounded my ears. Edward was standing at the foot of the bed with a smirk on his face. "Not comfortable, are we?" his face was alight with humour as he asked.

I narrowed my eyes at him. "I am quite relaxed, I assure you," I answered prissily.

He smirked again and I shifted away from him. A moment later, I felt the bed dip beside me. I knew there was no way I was going to get any sleep tonight. Having him so close beside me had my muscles tensed. Plus, the energy around us was not helping. I had a feeling he wasn't very relaxed either, since he was lying on his back stiff as a board.

We both stayed quiet for a long time. Neither of us moved from our painful positions. Then everything transformed. One second I was stiffly lying on my side – wishing for the night to be over— and the next Edward was hovering over me with his lips right at my ear. His arm came around my waist as he whispered, "May I hold you, Bella?"

My breath hitched and my heart flew out of my chest at his words. They were spoken so gently, so sweetly that they made him sound almost vulnerable. Who was this caring and considerate man? Instead of answering him with words, I deliberately twisted around in his arms and tucked my head in his chest. Warmth and contentment filled me and I delicately kissed the place right above his heart.

"Oh, Bella," Edward's arms tightened around me and I was at peace.

**I know. I know. _Ishey you ****** ! Where the **** have you been! _No excuses; I'm just the slowest writer in the fandom. Yet you all are still with me. Thank you.**

**I was honestly surprised by the amazing response I got for JamesPOV. Everyone was really supportive of it. So again, thank you. However, I don't think I'll be doing another JPOV. The last one was just to give you guys a glimpse of James and his relationship with Tanho. Plus, it just felt weird being in his head.**

**I hope you guys liked this chapter. ExB deserve a little lovey-dovey moment, don't you think?**

**Next update is not going to take two months. I promise. Give me a week ;)**

**Luvs and hugs,**

**Ishey-EJ**

**Psstt, I just updated Perfection too!**


	27. Whispers

_**Previously: **__The Cullens have arrived to Hale Manor for Alice's wedding. Tanya is also present but doesn't seem to care much about Edward. Edward finds out the truth about Bella's past and the Volturis also arrives at the Hale's. At the welcoming Ball, James corners Bella and then gets an earful from Edward. That night, James manipulates Tanya into trying to break Edward's heart again, while Edward and Bella have a quiet, sweet moment by themselves. _

Chapter 26 – Whispers

Bliss. It was the only word that could describe how I felt when I woke in the morning. I was encircled in Edward's arms with my head on his chest. It was the same position we'd fallen asleep in. I felt so safe and warm, completely and utterly blissful. Leisurely, my eyes fluttered open. I knew he was awake, since I could feel his fingers lightly running through my hair. _He didn't push me away,_ the thought made me smile.

"What are you thinking?" he asked.

I blushed at the huskiness of his voice. Biting my lip, I moved my head back and met his gaze. He was watching me with a sweet smile on his face and a tender look in his eyes. Embarrassed by the intensity of his stare, I l ducked my head.

"I liked waking up like this," I breathed. My heartbeat picked up and my blush deepened at my confession.

Gently, his hand cupped my cheek and pulled my face up to his. The tips of our noses brushed together and our eyes met. I trembled. The ardour in his eyes, the warmth between us and the sweet way he held me close made my head swim.

"I did too," he murmured.

His glorious face was just inches from mine. I blinked, dazed, and my heart fluttered like a humming bird's wings. Deliberately, Edward edged his face to the left. Then, slowly, he leaned forward until his lips touched my cheekbone. I sucked in a much needed breath of air as his lips applied the gentlest of pressure on my cheek. My eyes closed on their own accord as his lips traced their way up to my brow. I trembled again; his breath felt hot against my skin.

Edward shifted his face again and this time I felt his nose graze mine. His lips were now just a breath away from mine. This anticipation was the sweetest form of torture.

And then it happened. His mouth was gentle as his lips molded into mine in a warm, unfamiliar way. He kissed me once, twice and again. On instinct, I brought my hand up to his face; my fingers lovingly trailing his jaw. Tentatively, my lips mimicked Edward's. I couldn't help a slight gasp when his lips slowly pried mine open and I felt his hot breath in my mouth. He was so hesitant, as if I might break with one wrong touch. I never felt so cherished in my life. Our kiss was brief yet, to me, it was perfect.

I could hear my heart pounding in my ear and my breath came out in short pants. I had a million thoughts running through my mind as Edward gradually pulled back, yet I couldn't think of one coherent thing to say. My eyes flickered open and all I saw were his bright emerald orbs staring back at me in awe.

"I wish that had been our first kiss," he whispered, with a hint of sorrow clouding his expression. But then he smiled, brushing a lock of hair away from my face, "Better late than never."

My heart ached at how sweet and caring he was. _Oh how I love him so!_ I knew that I must be blushing deeply. However, that didn't stop me from breaking out into the largest and silliest smile ever. Edward chuckled at my expression then leaned forward to capture my lips with his again. This kiss was just as sweet and tender as the last. However, I started to giggle when our teeth clashed together because we couldn't stop smiling. Edward let out another chuckle then placed his forehead on mine and pecked the tip of my nose instead.

A knock at the door startled us out of our intimate bubble. Flustered, I tried to sit up. That is, until I realized that Edward's body covered every inch of mine and that he held me tightly underneath him. I flushed once again at the feel of his hard chest and muscular thighs pressed so closely against me. A sudden bout of nervousness came over me as I looked at Edward again. He was observing me, trying to gauge my reaction. His eyes reassured me and, little by little, my apprehension dissipated. My shy smile mirrored his. Before either of us could say anything, the knocks on the door resumed. This time they were louder. Edward groaned, annoyance clear on his face, and tucked his head in the nook of my neck.

I giggled, "Edward, you have to answer the door."

"No, I don't," he mumbled petulantly.

I freely laughed at his childish behaviour and wiggled underneath him. "Fine, then," I said, "I shall have to answer it myself…"

Mumbling under his breath, Edward rolled off of me and went to open the door. Stretching, I sat up and patiently waited to see who it was. I heard Edward say a few words before he stepped aside. A young, maid that looked very nervous entered the room.

"Good morning, Ma'am," she curtseyed, "Mrs. Cullen asked me to help you dress this morning. Your bath and gown are ready in the next room."

I glanced behind her at Edward. He looked disgruntled but nodded in acceptance. "Thank you," I replied to the maid. She gestured to the adjoining room and, with one last look at Edward, I followed her.

She opened a door that presumably led to a closet. However, it revealed not only a very comfortable room, but also a steaming bath already set up. My gown was also laid out for me along with pins and ribbons set by the vanity. Two other maids came forward to help me bathe and dress.

Rosalie was also there, sitting comfortably with a book in her hands. She smiled in acknowledgment when she saw me, but remained unusually quiet. When it was time to arrange my hair, she dismissed the maids and came to stand behind me. Combing my hair with a practised rhythm, she asked, "What happened last night?" Her expression was severe. Anger was evident on her face but I also saw fear creeping onto her beautiful face.

"Did everyone notice?" Since we had been standing in the corner of the ballroom, I thought the confrontation might've been overlooked.

Rose shook her head. "However, I did notice. And by the time I reached you, all I heard was Edward threatening James before he dragged you away. What happened, Bella?"

I sighed, "I was waiting for Emmett and Edward to return when James accosted me. At first, he was suspiciously polite. As soon as I tried to excuse myself, though, h– he mentioned my father and his debt…"

Behind me Rosalie froze. "That horrid man," she hissed.

I continued, "I believe he wanted to scare me. Edward returned before James could say anymore. He was very angry and told James not to come near me."

"From what I heard, his exact words were '_Don't you dare use her given name! She is Mrs. Cullen to you and if you ever come near her again, you will not live to see another day!'"_.

I frowned, "This is no laughing matter, Rose. I'm worried about what James might try to do…"

Rose sighed then came around and sat beside me. She placed her hand over mine in a comforting gesture. "I will not sit here and pretend to know what James is up to, but I will tell you that whatever it may be, we will not let any harm come to you. Bella, before you married Edward, Carlisle gathered everyone and explained your situation." My eyes widened at her words. "He didn't go into details but he set dispelled any rumours that he thought we might hear, so we could defend you if it ever came to it. The only person who wasn't present that day was Edward. I know that, now, if anyone did anything to harm you or your reputation, Edward would be the first to stand up for you. Don't be so frightened, Bella; no one in their right mind would try to point their finger at a Cullen. As for James, Edward will deal with him."

I sat there silent and still. I never thought of what the rest of the Cullens might think of my past. In fact, I never even wondered whether they knew anything at all. Now I felt as if a heavy burden had just been lifted off my shoulders. I smiled at Rosalie.

"Thank you," Rose pecked my cheek and stood up to finish my coiffure. "Rose?" I called after a while.

"Hmm?" she asked.

"Why does James hate Edward?" I questioned. Rose paused, "Pardon?" The expression on her face in the mirror showed her utter surprise.

"I understand that Edward might hate James because of what happened with Tanya," I elucidated, "But it doesn't explain why James detests Edward."

Rose looked as if she was considering the question herself for the first time. "I do not know," was her sincere reply, "They always seemed to dislike each other ever since I've known them… I'm afraid you'll have to ask Edward." I nodded, suddenly very curious. I was very impatient to talk to Edward now.

When Rose's work was finished, we headed straight for the dining room. I couldn't deny that I was very nervous about facing James. Something about him just scared me. Yesterday, he didn't fight back when Edward threatened him. However, I knew that James wouldn't forget. He was probably going to try and hurt Edward in some way, and that thought scared me more than anything.

The room was bustling with activity. Servants were coming in and out with trays of food. There was chatter all around the table, along with the clatter of crockery. The men stood up as Rose and I entered the room and, with quiet relief, I realized that James wasn't among them. My eyes scanned the table again and I found Edward. He was standing beside an empty chair, smiling. I blushed and made my way over to him as he held the chair out for me.

"Good morning," he whispered in my ear. I shivered at feel of his breath and sat down clumsily. Edward snickered as he took his own seat.

Everyone was very cheerful this morning. Mrs. Hale was loudly discussing last night's ball with my mother and Esme. Alice was beaming at Jasper, who sat across from her, shaking his head in amusement. The rest of the men were talking about hunting. And Tanya…

Tanya was watching Edward. I instantly tensed in my seat. She scrutinized his every move, her eyed narrowed on him. Her expression was calculating. Hatred and fury started to boil inside me as I watched her icy blue eyes roam over him. My hands clenched into fists in my lap and I openly glared at her, although she was oblivious to me.

Edward's gentle touch on my fists brought me out of my furious haze. "Ignore her," he advised in my ear. Before I could respond, he swiftly kissed my cheek and turned to the men, enthusiastically joining in their conversation.

I threw a glance around to check whether anyone had caught Edward's forward gesture. No one was paying any attention to me. When I looked at Tanya again, I saw that she had her eyes down. Odd. _Had she seen us? _I wondered if she had. I realized that we must look like a loving couple to her. It was unbelievable how our relationship had changed overnight. Two days ago Edward and I were hardly on speaking terms and now… Images from this morning flooded my mind and I flushed. For the remainder of breakfast, I kept eating my food while trying, to no avail, to ignore the fact that Edward held my hand under the table.

After breakfast, everyone gathered in the drawing room. They all dispersed in little groups, while I sat with my mother working on some of my embroidery I brought with me. She asked me about my life with the Cullens and in London; I answered her questions with a reassuring smile. However, after she asked if I was happy with Edward for the fourth time, I deftly changed the subject.

"Tell me about Uncle Phillip, Mama," I said, "It must be a great change for you to be living with his family."

"Oh, yes!" she exclaimed, "Bless them for taking me in. You know I couldn't have survived without either you or your father by my side, even after how generous the Cullens were. Your aunt and uncle…"

I stopped listening as something over her shoulder caught my eye. Edward was standing ramrod straight by the large window with his back to the room. My blood ran cold. Tanya was beside him. She wasn't close enough for it to look inappropriate or suspicious. Nonetheless, I could see that her lips moving. She was talking to him and she was doing so in a way that no one would notice.

My heart beat erratically in my chest. They didn't look at each other while Tanya spoke, but whatever she was uttering was affecting Edward. I painfully watched his profile, his expression turning from uncomfortable to confusion to disbelief. His head snapped in her direction and my heart dropped. Doubt was written all over his face. Eventually, he nodded at her.

Pain washed over me in that instant. I knew that I should not overreact and that I should trust Edward but my insecurity overcame me. I felt tears in my eyes as I tried to subdue the sickening feeling in my gut. I blinked, and when my vision cleared, I saw Tanya watching me with a hostile smile on her face. My teeth clenched at her audacity and I blatantly glared back before she walked away. I would not let her win. Ever.

Behind her retreating form, Edward was also staring at me. When our eyes met, Edward turned his head to the left, motioning me to follow him. I stood up and my mother paused mid- sentence. I had forgotten she was even there.

"What's wrong, Darling?" she questioned.

"Oh I – I seem to have forgotten something," I stuttered, placing my embroidery down on the table in front us, "Please, excuse me." Barely aware of my mother's response, I strode away in haste. I tried to control my nerves as I discreetly followed Edward out into the hall.

Something was wrong. I could feel it.

**Like? Or should I go take a hike? Hehe. **

**Thank you to everyone who is reading, reviewing and rec'ing YAMLN. You guys are the best. And a Special Thanks to my beta LaMomo, who has been an absolute blessing! Trust me guys, she is da bomb! **

**Sorry if I missed replying anyone's reviews. I try but my inbox is a scary place after I update. It makes me smile and do the happy dance. Gosh, I'm weird. Must be the meds talking. Alrighty, please review! **

**XoxO,**

**Ishey-EJ**


	28. Fortnight

_**Previously: **__The Cullens have arrived to Hale Manor for Alice's wedding. Tanya is also present but doesn't seem to care much about Edward. Edward finds out the truth about Bella's past and the Volturis also arrives at the Hale's. At the welcoming Ball, James corners Bella and then gets an earful from Edward. That night, James manipulates Tanya into trying to break Edward's heart again, while Edward and Bella have a quiet, sweet moment by themselves. The next morning Edward and Bella share their "first" kiss. Both are working hard to make their relationship work. After breakfast Bella sees Tanya sneakily whispering to Edward. He looks upset and motions Bella to follow him to a secluded place. _

Chapter 27 – Fortnight

I followed a few steps behind him as Edward led us to the library. The room was empty but that was all I could discern. Once we were inside, Edward immediately shut the door. He looked very disturbed and that made me all the more anxious.

"Edward," I approached him with caution. "What happened? What did she say?" I probed.

He stared at me with an incredulous glint in his eyes. "They were right," He stated coldly, "My family was right all along and I fought them. Even though, deep down, I knew that she betrayed me. For god sakes, I might I have listened to them had not my pride been hurt! I was fool!"

"Edward!" I stepped forward and grabbed his arm, "Edward, listen to me…" I cupped his face and looked directly into his eyes. He looked back at me with doubt and self- hatred etched on his features. It pained me to see such beautiful green orbs filled with such remorse, pain and anger.

"I should have known, Bella," he said severely, frustrated. His arms went around me and he held on to me tightly. "How did I not see? How could I be so senseless?"

"Shhh, it's not your fault," I whispered with our face just inches apart, "Do not blame yourself. She hurt you. It's her fault, not yours." He sighed and leaned his forehead on mine. "Listen to me, Edward," I said firmly, "I can only imagine what you're feeling right now but the important part is that you realize the truth and that you see Tanya for what she really is…" It was silent for a heartbeat. "What did she say?" I asked almost timidly.

A bitter laugh escaped his lips. "She apologized," he hissed with a ruthless expression on his face, "She had the audacity to tell me that she was secretly engaged to James for years and she apologized!" I stared at angry visage in utter shock. Edward continued with his angry rant, "I should have known. I should have figured it out, the moment Aro announced their engagement. No one courts for five years! I should have known Bella."

The shock at his words filtered down my spine. "She was engaged while you were courting her?" I asked, staggered. Edward's nostrils flared, "Yes."

"Good God," I whispered, baffled, "How can a lady do such a thing?" Edward didn't answer. Instead, he watched my reaction with troubled look. "Did she say anything else?" I asked, unsettled, "Did she explain why she's apologizing? What I mean to say is why does she even care enough to apologize?" A dreadful thought suddenly made its way into my mind. _She wants him. _

"No Bella," he said determinedly, "I know what you're thinking and it's not true." He slowly raised his hand and his fingers gently grazed my cheek. "That woman will never have a part of me again," he whispered. Our eyes locked and he declared, "No matter what she does, she will never have a place in my heart. I've ruined a significant amount of my life on her because of my own stubbornness and I will forever regret that. But she is nothing to me now. Please understand that. I promised you. I'm being honest. Never feel that you have to compare yourself to her. You are more pure than she can ever be. You're flawless to me."

I nodded at him while trying to get rid of the knot that had formed in my throat. _How can I help but love this sweet man?_ Listening to him now, I realized how far we've come. I wished I had the nerve to tell him I loved him. Instead, I let my actions speak for themselves. Tilting my head forward, I met his lips halfway. He kissed me tenderly and for that moment everything was perfect.

"That Harlot!" Rose spit out.

"The witch!" Alice shrieked.

"I know," I stated.

The past two weeks had been absolutely unbearable. Tanya was pure evil. She was shameless. She was everything I thought she was and worse. The woman was completely relentless in her pursuit of Edward even though, she was engaged. I'm surprised there haven't been disgraceful rumours about her already. Her flirtatious attitude towards Edward was blatantly obvious.

No matter where Edward was in the manor, Tanya always managed to find him. Of course they were never alone, but somehow that made it worse, since I was always there to see her attempts at gaining his attention. I wasn't the only one who noticed something. Rose and Alice have both been fuming over her disgusting display. I think even others started to notice after the first four or five days.

At formal occasions, Edward handled everything like the gentleman was raised to be. In private, however, he was livid. After that day in the library, he never mentioned Tanya again. But I could tell he was very uncomfortable with her actions. Every time I questioned him about it, he would shake his head and say, "She's not worth my time, Bella. Please let us not talk about her." Then he would kiss me.

I smiled. Even though the past two weeks were difficult because of Tanya, there were also beautiful when Edward and I had some time to ourselves. Mine and Edward's relationship was as easy as breathing without Tanya's influence. He was the man Alice and Rose once told me about. He was a true gentleman, sweet, agreeable and very passionate. I realized that we had a lot in common, once we actually started communicating. We talked about everything and nothing at all. He told me about his friendship with Jasper and the mischief they created together in their younger days. I told him about Angela and how much I missed her. Edward promised that once we got back to London, I could ask her to visit us. This made me love him even more.

We never talked about any of the somber subjects. I knew that sooner or later he would ask me about my past, but I was glad that he wasn't pushing the topic. The past two weeks he just spent his time trying to make me smile… and avoid Tanya. I sighed.

"Do not just sigh, Bella," Rose asserted, "I am quite sure you have more opinions about the witch who's shamelessly flirting with your husband than just a sigh."

"What do you want me to say," I glared at my hands, "That I want to scratch her eyes out? Why, yes Rose, I do."

We were currently sitting in the Hale's private parlour. They had dragged me here after Tanya latest attempt – to do whatever she was trying to do with Edward – during breakfast. Clearly, I wasn't the only one who was fed up by her vile ways.

"I can think of more than just scratching her eyes out," Alice mumbled, "Even the guests are starting to notice. I'm shocked her reputation is still intact."

"Well, she will not be a problem to us after two more days," I sniffed primly and straightened my back, "She will not be our concern after Alice's wedding. If we survived a fortnight then two more days should not matter."

Rose looked dubious, "I do not think that she is _not _going toattempt something evil before the wedding."

"If that onion-peeled complexioned witch ruins my wedding…" Alice hissed, glaring out the window.

"No, no," I assured her, "I do not think—"

"Bella after the past fortnight, do you really believe that Tanya is capable of anything less than pure evil?" Rose asked archly.

I sighed again. Rose was right. Not matter how much I hoped, I knew something was going to go horribly wrong. Tanya was waiting for the right moment to attack and I didn't know whether or not I was strong enough to handle it.

"I say we take a walk in the gardens," a smooth voice murmured in my ear.

I jumped, dropping the book in my hands. I had been resting in our bedchamber for the past hour, while Edward was in the billiards room with the men. The ladies were playing cards in the drawing room but I had no wish to join them as Tanya was there.

"I didn't hear you come in," I smiled as Edward wrapped his arms around me. He hummed and buried his face in my hair. During the past fortnight, Edward had attained a strange fetish for my hair. It was really quite endearing. "Edward?" I whispered as he sniffed and hummed.

"Yes, love," he swayed.

"The walk?" I prompted.

"What walk?" he asked, seeming completely dazed. I giggled as he fiddled with the pins in my hair.

"Oh no!" I teased, pushing him away, "I've already lost a whole rack of pins because of you!" I laughed at the childish pout that graced his face.

"Alright," he sighed, "But let us take a round about the garden, it's quite beautiful outside. Do take a shawl though; it's still a bit cold."

We strolled in the gardens in a comfortable silence. It was beautifully kept even during the winter season. I felt peaceful being there and really happy with the man next to me. Every once in a while Edward looked down at me and smiled.

"Alice is overjoyed for tomorrow," I commented.

"I'm happy for her," Edward nodded looking off in the distance, "Jasper is a good man."

"They love each other," I whispered, "As it should be."

Edward halted his steps and turned to face me. He had the most peculiar look on his face as if he were working his way to an epiphany. "Do you feel that that is very important?" he asked.

"What is?" He didn't answer my question. Instead, his fingers reached out and barely grazed my cheekbone. My heartbeat picked up its pace as his green eyes bore into mine. It was at times like these that I yearned to know how he really felt about me. If I held a special part in his heart as he did in mine.

"Bella…" Edward breathed. Before he could continue however, we both heard a loud sob. It was coming from where the fountain was located at the edge of the garden. I looked around and realized that Edward and I had walked quite a bit away from the manor.

"We should leave," He whispered. Just then another loud wail came from the direction of the fountain. It was a pitiful sound and I felt sorry for whoever was in such anguish. I shook my head at Edward knowing we couldn't leave someone in so much distress.

"Maybe we should check if they are in need of some assistance," I suggested.

Edward sighed, "Of course." We quickly walked to the end of the path and towards the fountain. The sniffles were getting more insistent. As soon as we got a clear view of who it was we were trying to help, we stopped dead in out tracks. Tanya.

She was hunched over, with her head in her hands, crying her heart out. Her hair was in disarray, her gown wrinkled and a little wet from the fountain's spray. It looked an absolute mess. She didn't seem like the heartless witch whose sole purpose in life was to destroy lives. The more I watched her pitiful state the more vindicated I felt. In that moment, I saw through her act. Rose was right; it wouldn't be like her to _not _attempt something evil before the wedding. This was her final play. Edward was watching her with disgust and contempt in his eyes. A sneer etched on his lips before he mouthed something, before he turned his back on the display in front of us and started to guide me away.

"We cannot leave," I stated quietly, refusing to move. We partially covered by trees and hidden from her view. But I knew we had to be quick.

"Bella, please do not tell me, that after everything you wish to help her," he said with astonishment.

"No no," I shushed him with a finger to my lips, "Don't you see Edward? This is her latest plot and, if I'm not mistaken, her last chance before the wedding. We need to see what it is she wants."

"What are you suggesting?" he asked intently.

"Go and talk to her," I stated firmly, and before he could refuse, I continued, "We need to end this, Edward. This can't keep going on forever. Go and talk to her. Tell her what she needs to hear and what you need to say. Be done with it."

"I have no wish to talk to her," he hissed, "I hate her."

"Then tell her that," I reached out and touched his jaw. I could feel the tension in his body as I wrapped my arms around him and buried my face in his chest. "I trust you, Edward."

He took a shuddering breath and put his hands on my waist. "You trust me?" he murmured.

I pulled back, and smiled, "I do."

He leaned down and kissed my forehead. We stayed like that for a moment before he pulled away. When I looked into his eyes again, I shivered. I saw coldness there that hadn't been there before, a ruthlessness that reminded of the old Edward. There was a calculating expression on his face as if he were planning something… something malicious.

"Alright," he said icily, "then don't believe a word that I'm going to say to her."

With that he walked into the open and headed for the fountain. I watched from behind the trees as he strode towards Tanya's hunched over form and halted in his tracks five feet away from her. I was completely confused as to what he was about to do. From his expression, however, I knew he wasn't going over there to _end_ things as I hoped. Revenge was as clear as daylight on his face.

**Sorry about the wait. RL has taken up my time and I'm just not a very active part of FF anymore. If people are still reading this, I hope you guys enjoyed it. It's short, I know, but it's better than nothing. **

**Ishey-EJ**


End file.
